View Full Version : Why are some men attracted to needy


Sickpuppy
07-10-07, 07:17 AM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?

Bells
07-10-07, 07:27 AM
They like to be needed and to be the protector and care-giver, to make everything better again. In that, they are able to exert some control over another and ironically, they become needy themselves. In some cases, they will do everything they can to make sure the woman remains needy. For example, if she has had a mental breakdown and instead of encouraging her to get better, he will keep telling her that she is sick and shouldn't do this or that because she simply cannot take it.

Oli
07-10-07, 07:30 AM
Because they don't stand a chance with women in charge of their own lives. :D

Orleander
07-10-07, 07:31 AM
Because they want to be the Knight in Shining Armor.

Nutter
07-10-07, 07:32 AM
Many men are needy and have their own "baggage." When they perceive a woman with the same attributes, these men may think that they are less likely to be rejected.

Also, some men may think that if they can convince needy women that they can accomodate the women's "needs," then the women will in turn feel obligated to accomodate the men's "needs."

Furthermore, many men have low self-esteem, so they settle for women with major baggage. It is a matter of equilibrium.

sandy
07-10-07, 07:54 AM
I think it's about ego. For all of the reasons mentioned before me. Some men freak out over a strong/independent woman. But I think it's for different ego reasons. Maybe they don't feel as big/strong/in control/powerful/?

I love men. :D

Repo Man
07-10-07, 08:23 AM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?

How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.

mikenostic
07-10-07, 08:29 AM
How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.
That's a very DANGEROUS philosophy that tends to get men in trouble. The more beautiful a woman is, the stupider the man talking to her in hopes of sleeping with her, becomes. A needy man is FAR more worse and pathetic than a needy woman is.

Oli
07-10-07, 08:30 AM
but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.


It palls rapidly....

Repo Man
07-10-07, 08:35 AM
It doesn't matter how stupid it is; it's true. Men tend to avoid women who have children from a previous husband/boyfriend. But the hotter she is, the more likely they are to overlook that. That's just one example. The attraction of physical beauty tends to override critical thinking capabilities. Though women aren't immune, men seem to be more vulnerable to choosing their partners based on beauty, and ignoring all of the other warnings to stay away.

mikenostic
07-10-07, 08:49 AM
It doesn't matter how stupid it is; it's true. Men tend to avoid women who have children from a previous husband/boyfriend. But the hotter she is, the more likely they are to overlook that. That's just one example. The attraction of physical beauty tends to override critical thinking capabilities. Though women aren't immune, men seem to be more vulnerable to choosing their partners based on beauty, and ignoring all of the other warnings to stay away.
You hit the nail right on the head with that one. I would even go so far to say that many marriages have happened (and subsequently failed) because the guy got blinded by pussy, lost what little logic he had to begin with, and then trapped himself into staying with her.
I'm even guilty of that (but luckily not as far as marriage), but only once. Because it only took once for me to learn to never do that again.

alexb123
07-10-07, 09:28 AM
There is a name for this it's called co-dependency. Often children of Alcholhoic become co-dep becomes they end up needing to judge their own value by how much others value them. And the more the person needs you the higher value the person feels. It's an interesting subject.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 09:55 AM
How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.

TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE :mad:

Repo Man
07-10-07, 09:56 AM
TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE :mad:

Do you feel it is inaccurate?

GhostofMaxwell.
07-10-07, 09:57 AM
How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.

:roflmao:

shorty_37
07-10-07, 09:57 AM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?

Because some men feel if they pick this type of women, they
will be able to keep them under their thumb. They also sometimes
get away with alot more.....including cheating because they keep
the needy woman down and make her feel like she couldn't find anyone
else anyway so she puts up with more shit from them.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 09:59 AM
Do you feel it is inaccurate?

NO repo I feel its very accurate.......and have had disscussions
supporting this......only to hear its NOT true.......
but I think they are full of shit, men are willing to take more
shit based on how hot the woman is.

Grantywanty
07-10-07, 11:23 AM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?

Some possibilities:

1) they feel inadequate, so being nice, the helper, the one who makes sacrifices lets makes them feel they aren't so inadequate while at the same time not really dealing with their feelings of inadequacy - the woman is seen as the problem
2) they are used to having a woman in the house who has baggage and they never dealt with the rejection they felt as a kid by their mother - who was alcoholic, crazy, sad, mistreated by the kid's father, abandoned by the father, etc.
3) the men need to deal with certain problems and the women show them these problems (perhaps in a not so easy way to connect to form). These men are drawn to women who show them these problems and in a way teach them to start dealing with them first on the outside then on the inside.
4) men often have trouble being in contact with their feelings. they tend to think of feelings as bad, out of control, crazy, illogical etc. Nevertheless unconsciously they yearn to feel their feelings, so they are drawn to bagaged women who a) reinforce their judgements of emotions b) give them a chance to work through emotions c)trigger deep emotions in the men.

Men tend not to notice their own emotional problems. Women who actually do feel their own problems then end up seeming to be the one's with baggage. Or to put this another way: a large part of many men's baggage is just how disconnected they are. Often they even see this as a positive quality like being cool under pressure or really rational or as strong. And society reinforces these falsehoods encouraging the men not to deal with their shit.

And of course woman are often drawn to men who have a lot of baggage or are bad boys or are dependant on some drug or who cheat on them. Many of the reasons I gave above apply these women.

Grantywanty
07-10-07, 11:25 AM
How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.

This is part of YOUR BAGGAGE. I hope you are really attractive or have a lot of money to make up for it.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 12:29 PM
This is part of YOUR BAGGAGE. I hope you are really attractive or have a lot of money to make up for it.

no here is where it turns around...........these hot women....in turn
find some loser....who will do anything for a hot woman......then she
totally takes advantage of him.

Orleander
07-10-07, 12:33 PM
no here is where it turns around...........these hot women....in turn
find some loser....who will do anything for a hot woman......then she
totally takes advantage of him.

GASP!! I do not! :p

shorty_37
07-10-07, 12:34 PM
yeah yeah you are so hot.........or so
you would like us to beleive.....give it a rest would ya!
Sandy does that enough.

Orleander
07-10-07, 12:42 PM
You're cute when you're angry, but not near as cute as Sandy and me. :p lol
And I'm taller because I'm standing on my baggage...my incredible sexy baggage.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 12:47 PM
keep on talking and we will assume you are also a man
like your fellow bombshell sandy........

mikenostic
07-10-07, 12:49 PM
keep on talking and we will assume you are also a man
like your fellow bombshell sandy........
Be careful or you will have 'her' in here claiming that you are making personal attacks against her, followed by an infraction from a certain mod because you were being derogatory towards that member.

Orleander
07-10-07, 12:53 PM
we?? You have friends? :poke:
I have friends too...sexy friends...with baggage...and men. Men who carry their sexy baggage. Men who can't wait to open their sexy baggage. :D

Maybe men confuse that baggage with mystery and a bit of danger. No different than women being attracted to bad boys. My first husband was a biker and he had lots and lots of sexy baggage! :mufc:

shorty_37
07-10-07, 12:53 PM
Be careful or you will have 'her' in here claiming that you are making personal attacks against her, followed by an infraction from a certain mod because you were being derogatory towards that member.

You know me mike.......I am shaking.....:rolleyes:
women who have to CLAIM they are hot....are trying
to be popular with the male members? Otherwise
who cares what you look like why even mention it.
OR here is a a really farrrrrrrrrrr out idea but just
post a picture of yourself and STFU.

Orleander
07-10-07, 01:00 PM
Not mentioning names here, but someone need to get laid. ;)

shorty_37
07-10-07, 01:02 PM
Not mentioning names here, but someone need to get laid. ;)

Who you? cause I have no problems in that department.

Orleander
07-10-07, 01:05 PM
Who you? cause I have no problems in that department.

Yeah, we don't need to hear about your sex life. Its always about sex with you isn't it? This is a science forum, not a sex forum. You're making a scene and its embarrassing.

:p

shorty_37
07-10-07, 01:36 PM
Why don't you just go back to watching your cartoons spongebob.......
maybe you can learn something......oh wait you have learned how to use
your IMAGINNNNNNNNNATTTTTTTTIOOOOOOONNNNNNNN.

Orleander
07-10-07, 01:41 PM
Why don't you just go back to watching your cartoons spongebob.......
maybe you can learn something......oh wait you have learned how to use
your IMAGINNNNNNNNNATTTTTTTTIOOOOOOONNNNNNNN.

LMFAO!!! wow, that was witty :rolleyes: And please try and stay on topic.

Are guys as attracted to bad girls as they are to bad boys? From what I have seen, yes.

Oli
07-10-07, 01:41 PM
Yes.
And no.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 01:43 PM
Bad girls as in what? cheaters?

Orleander
07-10-07, 01:46 PM
Bad girls as in what? cheaters?

yes, or just totally controlling bitches. You know the type.

When we talk baggage, are we talking about neurotic crazy women or bitchy "I can castrate you" women?

Oli
07-10-07, 01:52 PM
yes, or just totally controlling bitches. You know the type.

When we talk baggage, are we talking about neurotic crazy women or bitchy "I can castrate you" women?

Cheats - no.
Controllin bitches - no.
"Bad girls" - yes.

Baggage covers all sorts.
When i used to go out on a Thursday night the women could never work out why I was at the bar while all the other guys were making moves...
mostly because they usually half-drunk or more by 9 o'clock in the evening.
Who wants a partner with so much baggage in her life that she feels it necessary to get drunk that early (deliberately)?
I have enough problems of my own in life without taking on someone so f*cked up they think it's a good idea to get drunk at least once a week...
That sort of baggage.

mikenostic
07-10-07, 01:55 PM
yes, or just totally controlling bitches. You know the type.

When we talk baggage, are we talking about neurotic crazy women or bitchy "I can castrate you" women?

Women are only controlling to the pussy-ass, spineless men who allow women to control them. Some men seem to be oblivious to the fact that sometimes pussy is not worth the trouble you have to go through to get it.

Baggage can be physical or emotional.
Physical examples:
-possessive, stalking ex
-children
-bitchy friends

Emotional examples:
-low self-esteem
-been cheated on/bad relationships
-spoiled

Orleander
07-10-07, 01:55 PM
thanks Oli!

Mike, which one of your list are the worst?

shorty_37
07-10-07, 01:56 PM
Cheats - no.
Controllin bitches - no.
"Bad girls" - yes.







ok oli.......Bad girls to date , fuk around with....
would you marry one?

mikenostic
07-10-07, 01:59 PM
ok oli.......Bad girls to date , fuk around with....
would you marry one?

I'll compare those types of girls to a Jaguar e-type (the kind Austin Powers drives). They are beatiful and are a lot of fun, yet they require maintenance frequently, are very quirky and sometimes don't start; making them very high maintenance.

Oli
07-10-07, 02:04 PM
ok oli.......Bad girls to date , fuk around with....
would you marry one?

I don't even date them...
(Actually my usual encounters with that type involve leaving them standing on their own at the end of the evening with "What the f*ck happened there?" look on their faces).

Xev
07-10-07, 02:14 PM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?


Drama is fun for some people.

Oli:

I have enough problems of my own in life without taking on someone so f*cked up they think it's a good idea to get drunk at least once a week...

Sigh, you see it would never work between us.
Actually I'm more a fan of the :m: but still....
:bawl:

Oli
07-10-07, 02:27 PM
Drama is fun for some people.
Drama is fun, melodrama is not...


Oli:
Sigh, you see it would never work between us.
Hmm, how certain of that are you babe?


Actually I'm more a fan of the :m: but still....
:bawl:
There's the thing you see - you're accepting substitutes... :D

mikenostic
07-10-07, 02:29 PM
There's the thing you see - you're accepting substitutes...
You MUST be drunk.

:m: >>>>>>>>>> any alcohol on this planet.

You got it backwards; alcohol is no substitute for :m:
NOTHING substitutes :m:!!!

shorty_37
07-10-07, 02:31 PM
I was married to a alcoholic and a pothead.......

I would rather substitute DEATH then go through that again.

Oli
07-10-07, 02:32 PM
You MUST be drunk.

:m: >>>>>>>>>> any alcohol on this planet.

You got it backwards; alcohol is no substitute for :m:
NOTHING substitutes :m:!!!

I get more effect from three cognacs than I do from any weed - it's a waste of money and effort.
In addition to which cognac is legally and easily available.

[Edit]
Oh, and I don't actually GET drunk...

mikenostic
07-10-07, 02:35 PM
I was married to a alcoholic and a pothead.......

I would rather substitute DEATH then go through that again.

Not everyone who smokes pot is a lazy, lethargic pothead. I hope you weren't incinuating that everyone that smokes pot is as such.


I get more effect from three cognacs than I do from any weed - it's a waste of money and effort.
In addition to which cognac is legally and easily available.
Yeah, I've heard that from a few people. I understand that.
For me, herb doesn't give me headaches/hangovers the next day, regardless of how much I toke. It also does not make me rambunctious and beligerent like liquor does. To each his own.

Xev
07-10-07, 02:47 PM
shorty_37

I was married to a alcoholic and a pothead.......

At the same time?

Oli:

Drama is fun, melodrama is not...

Oh, drama is not fun, unless it's Waiting for Godot.
But some people get a rush off that sort of melodrama.


There's the thing you see - you're accepting substitutes...

Mikenostic beat me to it , but weed is NO substitute for alcohol.
Weed is much better than alcohol.
But pills are better than either.

Oh, oops:

I get more effect from three cognacs than I do from any weed - it's a waste of money and effort.

Huh, different reactions. If you decide to give it a try, and not to advocate anything illegal so, hypothetically: try baking it. There's a HUGE difference between ingestion and smoking.

Oli
07-10-07, 02:51 PM
Oli:
Oh, drama is not fun, unless it's Waiting for Godot.
Shakespeare?
Tom Stoppard?


But some people get a rush off that sort of melodrama.
Nop, they get off on other people's reactions to their own melodrama.


Mikenostic beat me to it , but weed is NO substitute for alcohol.
Weed is much better than alcohol.
Possibly, but I wasn't talking about weed as a substitute for alcohol... :cool:

shorty_37
07-10-07, 02:55 PM
[QUOTE=mikenostic;1468288]Not everyone who smokes pot is a lazy, lethargic pothead. I hope you weren't incinuating that everyone that smokes pot is as such.


QUOTE]


I wasn't mike.......and he wasn't lazy ......its actually the drinking
that disturbed me more......
But you know burned once by something .....red flags go up.

shorty_37
07-10-07, 02:58 PM
shorty_37


At the same time?




HAHA he might have well been 2 different wait even three different ppl.

Alcoholic......mean and nasty

Pothead....everything was joke and so damn funny

Sober......a combination of the above end result PRICK lol ( i only laugh
now because I am rid of him)

mikenostic
07-10-07, 03:02 PM
I wasn't mike.......and he wasn't lazy ......its actually the drinking
that disturbed me more......
Good. You better not be incinuating anything. Or else it will be ....:spank: (and not in a good way):D



But you know burned once by something .....red flags go up
Believe me, I know. I could probably use that very statement verbatim to represent my lack of desire to date, or even talk to women right now. I'd rather spend time with my dogs, or on my bike.

Xev
07-10-07, 03:12 PM
Oli:

Shakespeare?
Tom Stoppard?

Ionesco!


Nop, they get off on other people's reactions to their own melodrama.

I'm fond of amatuer psychology, but generally I'm too disgusted by the carnival to really try to analyze it.
There's a ritual to it, to be sure.
Funny, I was just watching this last night.

Fight, then the split to gather sympathies, then the regroup, the makeing up, and the exit to leave everyone going either "what the fuck does he go back for?" or more likely "not this shit again."

It's funny, but my goth friends have generally been the most stable of my friends.


Possibly, but I wasn't talking about weed as a substitute for alcohol...

LIke the opposite of salvia, weed is a perfectly illegal Oli substitute?

Oli
07-10-07, 03:17 PM
Ionesco!
I'll do some checking...


I'm fond of amatuer psychology, but generally I'm too disgusted by the carnival to really try to analyze it.
Disgust?
Tut, dear child: amusement; detached, aloof amusement, is the way to go.


There's a ritual to it, to be sure.
Funny, I was just watching this last night.

Fight, then the split to gather sympathies, then the regroup, the makeing up, and the exit to leave everyone going either "what the fuck does he go back for?" or more likely "not this shit again."
And you can see every move before it happens... just like a train on tracks. :D


It's funny, but my goth friends have generally been the most stable of my friends.
Except for the ones that aren't true Goths, just poseur wannabes. :D
Oh, how many times do I hear that...?


LIke the opposite of salvia, weed is a perfectly illegal Oli substitute?
There is no true substitute.
Just gap-fillers.

Repo Man
07-10-07, 11:33 PM
This is part of YOUR BAGGAGE. I hope you are really attractive or have a lot of money to make up for it.

Assuming you are a straight male, a woman's attractiveness is irrelevant when choosing a partner?

We all weigh the pros and cons of compatibility and attraction when it comes to who we pursue. Though none of us can choose who or what we find sexually attractive, we do have a choice about whether or not to act on our impulses.

Grantywanty
07-11-07, 04:11 AM
Assuming you are a straight male, a woman's attractiveness is irrelevant when choosing a partner?

1) you make it sound like a line up. 2) amazingly enough one can be both attracted to certain women and not have your attitude. Chew on that for a while.


We all weigh the pros and cons of compatibility and attraction when it comes to who we pursue. Though none of us can choose who or what we find sexually attractive, we do have a choice about whether or not to act on our impulses.


My reaction is to how you phrased it, not the fact that you are attracted to some women and this is part of your interest. 1) you wondered how physically attractive they were, as if physical attractive was so easy to separate out from other qualities. As if there was an objective answer. This leads me to believe you objectify the women and the beauty as if it were a commodity that you can literally put in a plus column, rather than FEELING that this or that women is attractive TO YOU. 2) pursue a telling verb, take a look at the roots of it, there's one meaning on dictionary.com that wouldn't set off warning bells. 3) I don't weigh the pros and cons - Hm, she's a pain in the ass, but she's physically attractive - I feel attracted to them or not, a vastly more complicated and subjective process that does not fit with some objective notion of beauty.


You could argue that your choice of words mislead me, but I think thoughts and other peoples feelings are affecting your way of looking at women much more than they should. I also think the way you word things shows an objectification where ideas about physical beauty are separated from romantic feelings. You know, the kind of stupid split men (and women) have made for a long time between love and sex, and between heart and head. Your objectivity is not going to get you what you want.

laughing weasel
07-11-07, 04:34 AM
Some guys just love a challenge and think they can fix anything. We ignore the flaws until the relationship forces are noses in it. Of course hot chicks get extra baggage limit. They bring a higher level of attraction to the table. Very nice women with a lot in common with me also get extra baggage limit. It is just easier to acess physical attractiveness.

Repo Man
07-11-07, 08:42 AM
Grantywanty, there is an objective quality to physical beauty. Studies have been done with infants too young to have absorbed any cultural bias, and they showed that they were more willing to look at photos of faces generally considered attractive than ones generally considered unattractive.

I think beauty is easy to separate from other qualities. I've known pretty women who were horrible people. That which is beautiful is not always good. But you knew they were beautiful the first time you saw them; finding out they were inconsiderate, arrogant, and conceited took getting to know them. And knowing they possessed these qualities didn't negate the attraction of their symmetrical features, smooth skin, and voluptuous figures - all of which are cues to fertility.

Like many, if not most men, I can still be physically attracted to women I outright dislike.

Beauty is certainly a quality that both attractive men and women can use to gain an advantage. And we have all known men who put up with high maintenance women because they were very beautiful.

Life would be easier if you didn't care about physical appearance of potential mates. You would be free to choose a partner based only on how compatible your personalities are. It would be much easier to find a long term match that way. But you can't fool the libido.

Grantywanty
07-12-07, 06:41 AM
Like many, if not most men, I can still be physically attracted to women I outright dislike.

.

I agree with many of your statements.
Still, the original post gave the impression that you would get involved with physically attractive women EVEN THOUGH they had baggage that you normally wouldn't tolerate.
What the hell is the point of that relationship?
I can see them being attractive. I can see ending up having sex.
But your post - and please check it to see what I mean - made it sound like you would have a girlfriend who, essentially, you thought was fucked up, but, hey, she's beautiful so you will PUT UP WITH IT.
That's baggage.
That parallels a women who PUTS UP with a batterer, or an emotionally abusive partner. It says somethign about a person's sense of self-worth.
Now I know you were also perhaps being a bit flip, so I don't know if you stand by this or not.
But to weigh the beauty against other qualities like that seems like a very hopeless relationship program.
Why not wait for someone you are FULLY ATTRACTED TO in all the senses of that?
Why settle?
And why treat someone's baggage in that very unsympathetic way. I think you are hot so that makes up for you being so trying. I used to have baggage: any woman who'd said that to me would have lost her boyfriend that instant.
I'll drop this argument here - (but I will read your response). I think we´ve made our points.

Orleander
07-12-07, 06:47 AM
So men may put up with women's baggage because of sex.
Women put up with a guy's baggage....why??

Bells
07-12-07, 06:55 AM
So men may put up with women's baggage because of sex.
Women put up with a guy's baggage....why??

Same reason.

Then you have the whole notion of fear of not finding someone else, wanting and needing to have someone to go home to and having someone to take care of them and protect them. Fear of loneliness.

Orleander
07-12-07, 06:58 AM
For me, it would have to be mind-blowing sex. Rock my world sex.
Its easier for women to get sex then men, so if sex is the reason, its easier for us to move on.

I think women put up with it for your other reason, having someone take care of them.

Bells
07-12-07, 07:02 AM
And not being alone and remaining a spinster. Society tends to view older single women as being either lesbians or selfish for not settling down with the 2.5 kids and white picket fence. So some women, like some men, will settle.

Repo Man
07-12-07, 08:37 AM
Grantywanty, think about it this way; I might also settle for a woman who was rather plain, but was intelligent, kind, and had a good sense of humor. The world is an imperfect place full of imperfect people, so you either settle in one way or another, or stay alone.

If present trends continue, there will come a time when almost everyone is pretty. Certainly in the west, people are on average more attractive than ever before. Better nutrition, fewer disfiguring diseases, widespread cosmetic procedures for straightening teeth, removing birthmarks, and many other things. Maybe in the future there won't be people permanently sidelined in the mating game because of their appearance.

I don't think it's any big deal that Swans mate for life. If you're a Swan, chances are you can't do any better than the Swan you're with, so why not mate for life? - Jack Handey

Yorda
07-12-07, 11:22 AM
you're adults and you still don't know the difference between men and women?!

men are big (dominant) and women are small (controlled).
men are hard (tough) and women are soft (emotional), it's so simple.

if your body is male and you're emotional, your mind is female, and if your body is female and you're tough, your mind is male.


In some cases, they will do everything they can to make sure the woman remains needy. For example, if she has had a mental breakdown and instead of encouraging her to get better, he will keep telling her that she is sick and shouldn't do this or that because she simply cannot take it.

stop whining and become a lesbian if you hate men so much. i like being controlled.

TruthSeeker
07-12-07, 11:28 AM
Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?
I must admit I'm strangely attracted to women with more baggage. But I cannot stand a needy woman at all. I guess I love strong women with great inner strenght! That's what the baggage is for. ;)

I also like a great challenge. And when they come with baggage, I can help them sort it all out. It's a good challenge, and it's fun. :)

Grantywanty
07-12-07, 11:46 AM
Grantywanty, there is an objective quality to physical beauty. Studies have been done with infants too young to have absorbed any cultural bias, and they showed that they were more willing to look at photos of faces generally considered attractive than ones generally considered unattractive.

OK. I did, in fact, think of another point. You say 'babies' meaning both girls and boys. Later though, after having picked up cultural biases, those boys will overvalue photographic appearance vastly more than girls will. This is cultural baggage which I think you are carrying and, in a sense, defending.
Women are trained to see themselves as commodities, visual commodities. Men are trained to see women as commodities who physical attractiveness makes them more of a catch.

Of course women are attracted to photographic beauty in men and this has in fact been increasing. But this is cultural also, as popular culture - and I do not mean bands, indie films, etc. but advertising, TV shows, and Hollywood films are stressing this more and more. It is a form of training in self-hate, as is easy to see when people like Nicole Kidman start cutting up their faces - what she didn't have enough guys interested? No, the problem was probably partly that she was afraid she wouldn't been seen as the love interest, leading role, etc. And partly her having been so trained to think of herself as a flawed commodity. I am sure Tom Cruise is fucking up his face too, but men are doing it less because they can be interesting and even old, like say Deniro, and still get major roles.

Fraggle Rocker
07-12-07, 11:54 AM
Women put up with a guy's baggage....why??I was wondering how long it was going to take before somebody pointed out that this is hardly an exclusive male behavior. I've known many women who just love to take a man on as a little project, and make it their life's work to fix him.

mikenostic
07-12-07, 11:59 AM
I was wondering how long it was going to take before somebody pointed out that this is hardly an exclusive male behavior. I've known many women who just love to take a man on as a little project, and make it their life's work to fix him.

Yeah but what I think most women who take that endeavor on don't realize that most guys don't want to change (which is different from making compromises necessary to make relationships work), I know I'm not about to change for any woman but I'll make compromises. Then the woman gets frustrated because he doesn't mold into what she wanted him to and gets rid of him. I can't stand people like that.

Fraggle Rocker
07-12-07, 12:28 PM
Yeah but what I think most women who take that endeavor on don't realize that most guys don't want to change (which is different from making compromises necessary to make relationships work), I know I'm not about to change for any woman but I'll make compromises. Then the woman gets frustrated because he doesn't mold into what she wanted him to and gets rid of him. I can't stand people like that.Sure, I understand that. When men take on women with baggage the women aren't likely to change either. At least not in the way we want. :)

As some wise person said, "Both parties to a marriage are doomed to disappointment. He hopes that she will never change and she hopes that he will."

Bells
07-13-07, 12:46 AM
stop whining and become a lesbian if you hate men so much. i like being controlled.

So you're a male with a female mind. Got it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and lynch my husband and my two son's before I turn lesbian.:rolleyes:

madanthonywayne
07-13-07, 01:07 AM
no here is where it turns around...........these hot women....in turn
find some loser....who will do anything for a hot woman......then she
totally takes advantage of him.
The funny thing is, when these hot chicks get old (say, forty) they become complete bitches. Why? Because they've lived their entire lives up to that point being cattered to by every man they encountered. Then, suddenly, they are ignored and treated like everyone else.


As some wise person said, "Both parties to a marriage are doomed to disappointment. He hopes that she will never change and she hopes that he will."
Reminds me of the story of the man who, as the minister pronounced he and his bride "man and wife" thinks,
"All right! Now I can have sex whenever I want!!!!!!" Meanwhile, his new wife is thinking,
"All right! Now I never have to have sex again!"

Orleander
07-13-07, 06:29 AM
...I've known many women who just love to take a man on as a little project, and make it their life's work to fix him.

Yep, my college roommate. She became a social worker and is fixing the world 1 man at a time. She's on her 3rd marriage and there were some odd damaged men in between.

And my best friend from high school is that 40 yr old bitter bitch. I can't stand being around her anymore. She was always popular before because she put out. (Young men put up with a lot for sex!!) Well, for the past few years she's finally noticed that all women her age have sex and she's no longer popular. Her rants never end, not even in public.

Aivar
07-23-07, 11:00 AM
Not mentioning names here, but someone need to get laid. ;)

Huh? What's my need to get laid got to do with it?


anyway, what's this "baggage"? Being bad? Being overemotional? Having problems? Having big, uh... bags on torso?

Ehh... I wouldn't say guys need "bad" girls. It's a girl thing. They like bad boys, so they like to think guys like bad girls too.

What a guy would be drawn to, is, well... someone interesting. Someone with no baggage would be like a blank sheet. And a woman who's all emotional is cool. Especially if it's sincere. Real aphrodisiac. A neurotic then, right? A woman having her own character rocks, too. Doesn't mean she has to be an asshole to make it attractive. Probably arrogant, but only when called for.
Deep emotional stuff is personal and intimate. That should have a lot to do with it, no?


Hey, maybe girls don't like bad boys? Maybe they just want interesting boys, too? I don't really have the detailed info to be sure about this one...


I thought women were supposed to lose interest after they've changed a man. If they can't, they should keep going, right?

shorty_37
07-23-07, 03:25 PM
The funny thing is, when these hot chicks get old (say, forty) they become complete bitches. Why? Because they've lived their entire lives up to that point being cattered to by every man they encountered. Then, suddenly, they are ignored and treated like everyone else.

Reminds me of the story of the man who, as the minister pronounced he and his bride "man and wife" thinks,
"All right! Now I can have sex whenever I want!!!!!!" Meanwhile, his new wife is thinking,
"All right! Now I never have to have sex again!"

old.....40......shit I am almost there:bawl:
I have never been catered to by a man, so I wouldn't know. If
anything its me who does the catering. I am very capable of doing
things myself, I am not afraid to break a nail or get dirty. There
are too many men out there catering to these princesses who expect
them to work their asses off, while they go shopping.

John99
07-23-07, 03:33 PM
Can you chop wood shorty?

Orleander
07-24-07, 03:08 PM
Can you chop wood shorty?

with a log splitter, ax, or chisel and sledge hammer?