If Jesus was suddenly teleported to today, what would he do?

Assuming he did not become instantly corrupt from the attention, what would his reactions be to Christianity?

I personally think that he would refute the whole thing, and try to convert everybody to the pseudo-Judaism that he was working on when he was alive.

What Would Julio Do? :D

If jesus came back today, he would probably end up in an insane asylum!, with all the others who believe that they are jesus!. He may be there allready!!.:D :p

Actaully, I'm searching for an e-copy of a Horsey editorial cartoon from a few years ago that is included in the volume celebrating his Pulitzer. The gist of the cartoon was simple: from the back, we see Jesus, indicated by his telltale robe and long hair; his back is to the audience because he is facing a panel of only-slightly caricaturized conservative Christian leaders. As they look through his Bilbical record, they determine that he is not "conservative" enough to be Christian. It's really quite amusing; I hope to have an e-copy soon.

There's also a diatribe I used to post as my signature, from Robyn Hitchcock, which asserts that the Devil in the modern day might just be Jesus, furious at having wasted 2000 years in a cheesecloth-draped waiting room while those in his name trash the whole operation.

Peter Straub's grim, bleeding christos included in Houses Without Doors is stunning, but just a little macabre.

Myself? I figure one of two things will happen. Jesus will arrive and, upon seeing the state of the empire, either pack up and go home, or else settle into the nearest tavern and drink until he's glowering and slurring and ready, in fact, to face the insanity of what the world has become.

As a policy note, it would be interesting to watch the joy of the fundamentalists as they were swept up in rapture. I tend to think I'm not so small-minded as to wish to see their surprise when they are separated out to the left hand, and cast into the everlasting fire. But won't that be an emotional roller-coaster?

And then he would lay down a new law: the skeleton of Chrisitanity would disappear in favor of the notion that people stand a better chance of meeting God's approval if they throw out the whole market-share, name-recognition bit. Can you imagine? People being good to each other because it's the right thing to do instead of in response to blackmail? Such a vision is enough to make the stoutest fundamentalist quiver.

But whatever happened, it would be more entertaining than masturbation. Which should give all the fundie wankers a moment of hope.

thanx,
Tiassa :cool:

can you imagine his horror at witnessing all of the masses of idols created in his image. He would beg people to stop that which Moses so obviously hated. Second he would probably report every falsehood documented in the new testament. He would denounce the churches for their money gathering. Beyond that I can only guess. Based upon certain details of the Jesus character he might be more inclined to toward confrontation. The Christians would probably kill him to silence his insolence.

If Jesus did return, I have no doubt he would be wearing a Face mask and plenty of padding to ward of those pesky rocks he remembers from his last stoning, secondly I bet my bottom dollar he would have metal armour on his wrists and ankles, he wont want to get nailed a second time around.
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Just a thought, the bible states : thou shalt not worship graven images etc etc ect.
Do you think Jesus would be pissed of at the people who worship statues of Mary and the cross etc?
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Do you think when Jesus returns he could show me the passage in the bible that explains where Dinosours fit in? or maybe disprove the theory of micro and macro evolution?

cheers

That's what I was saying. How would any Jewish individual be at peace knowing they are responsible for the detriment of one of that religions most sacred doctrines?

*Originally posted by razz
Do you think when Jesus returns he could show me the passage in the bible that explains where Dinosours fit in? or maybe disprove the theory of micro and macro evolution?*

Why wait til then?

So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts.
There go the ships: there is that leviathan, whom thou hast made to play therein.
(Psalms 104:25,26, KJV).

Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.
Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.
He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.
His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.
(Job 40:15-18, KJV).

Nothing to disprove in macroevolution since it's never been proven.
No complaints with microevolution.
Things change, after all.

Tony:)

Well i looked up your reference points and yes most bibles versions are similiar in script.
Some push the envelope a bit, but yes, if you wanted this modern version of bible to be your proof of dinosours and god , then i suppose one could understand why, but this same description could also be talking about giant squid or whales or elephants, hippopotamus or any number of large creatures, that aren't generally termed as dinosours.
Not forgetting many modern non prehistoric animals have become exstinct in the past few hundred years and since the bible was written that would have fit this description.

People see what they want to see, "Me Included," but i just cant lay faith in the Bible (what ever version) as proof.
I simply can not trust a book that passed through countless generations, reprints, requotes, translations and split into hundreds of versions without a single miss quote or adjustment here or there, whether by accident or political, religeous even personal gain etc.
Chinese whispers are a good example of the nature of man in this insatnce.
Thankyou for taking the time to quote these scriptures anyway.

Have a great day.
RazZ
:)

*Originally posted by razz
Well i looked up your reference points and yes most bibles versions are similiar in script.
Some push the envelope a bit, but yes, if you wanted this modern version of bible to be your proof of dinosours and god , then i suppose one could understand why, but this same description could also be talking about giant squid or whales or elephants, hippopotamus or any number of large creatures, that aren't generally termed as dinosours.*

Which elephants or hippos have tails like cedars?
The only animals like that were brachiosaurs.

Leviathan is described as big.
As a matter of fact, whaling techniques are described in relation to leviathan as pretty much useless.
Thus, leviathan appears bigger than a whale.

Canst thou fill his skin with barbed irons? or his head with fish spears?
(Job 41:7, KJV).

*People see what they want to see, "Me Included," but i just cant lay faith in the Bible (what ever version) as proof.
I simply can not trust a book that passed through countless generations, reprints, requotes, translations and split into hundreds of versions without a single miss quote or adjustment here or there, whether by accident or political, religeous even personal gain etc.*

I feel your pain.
Naturally, the translation of the Bible isn't a game of chinese whispers.
Each translation does not depend on previous translations.
Nobody bases Bible translations on quotes and requotes.

The reason you can't trust the Bible is that you think the Bible is translated using the same shoddy techniques that atheists use in scientific endeavors.

I don't trust scientific papers for the same reason that you don't trust the Bible, plus...
1. outright fakery
2. selective reporting
3. lying
4. personal gain
5. personal fame
6. outright pro-evolution bias
7. too new
8. mutual admiration societies, i.e. academies of science
9. poorly thought out
10. contradictory