What's your best come back line?

At the beginning of the new sporting season, I was at this tedious sporting meeting of players, practising active listening, until my cup cup just literally runneth over.

The coach was berating everyone for losing the first match, just like any coach might address his losing charges. But he was agitating for a fight and everyone just sat there looking at their hands waiting their turn for a pickoff. Anyway, my turn came and I gave him a steely eyed nonchalant gaze as he stood there lauding it over me pretending he was Peter Perfect. Then he picked on the young rookie who seemed close to tears. So I told coach to stop and get over it, saying its just a game. He looked back at me and and then said 'Shut up Arsehole'.

So I shot back "If I'm an arsehole where I can drop you?".

I'm not normally that quick,but I was happy with that. For a moment he had this blank look and then he broke into a broad smile, nodded, then laughed and then we all laughed and settled down and discussed areas for improvement.

So..... when you've been against the wall with your boss, partner, friend acquaintance or a stranger in whatever circumstances and you feel the need for a bleed....what was or is your best comeback line?

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

my best insult is "your the one your mother should have swollowed"

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

, my partner stole that off me though and started using it herself

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Lol!!

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

I don't do comeback lines. What's the point ?

 

I'd given up cocaine but last night I near snorted the mercury out of the mirror. What a comeback!

 

For a momentary lapse of reason, frustration and even satisfaction.
When it's non-escalational, its good methinks. You don't think so Phoenix? Why?

 

What a reflection!

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Assuming you were addressing me with Phoenix

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

Because it shows your respect/fear for your adversary..

 

I could barely recognise myself.

 

Do you mean by simply not saying anything its shows respect/fear.
If so, then your adversarry would have no idea how you felt in any event and worse would continue until he/she was abated. Naturally, know your adversary but give me flight or fright anyday, not acceptance or status quo.

 

Let me try an insult on you Carpet and give me your best response.
( an easy one for starters)
You are nothing but a worn out rug!

 

Why do you need to come up with a comeback line to an insult ?
Would it not be to not lose face to your adversary ?

 

Enmos, You're so anally retentive a first rate turd burglar would go home empty handed.

 

C'mon, c'mon..comebacks, you guys are slow!

 

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde
wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best
of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those
pants?"
The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start
by buying me a drink."


Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD:
Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

I'll take that as a compliment

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Good comeback. ha ha ha ha.

 

I don't see that as a comeback (?)

 

It is because it is one line and you added this-

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

That is a comeback.

 

Uh ok.. I figured a comeback should be at least equally insulting.