Mine is the gift of my time for nothing can buy it and I give it to those i enjoy being with. Time cannot be ever brought back so once it is gone, it will never return.
I'm not such a good gifter..... maybe I'll just give em nicely wrapped present full of chocolates..... <font size=1 color="888888">by the way, I'd like to award you the Anti-Bond award</font>
That's awesome, cosmictraveller. You should try and make sure that you're not wasting your time on someone. I really admire that. I totally wasn't expecting that to be the first post when I clicked the link. I'm not one for gifts; especially when they're based on tradition. It's nice receiving things for christmas or for my birthday, but really I'd rather not get anything because then I'm faced with the imposed nature of being forced into considering the person for not getting them something in return. I don't like that feeling. I think buying something for someone out of a store and wrapping in paper is shallow. It's almost like telling me "hey i got you something now you have to get me something or im going to cry." Fuck that. If I give anyone anything, it's because I want them to have it...not because the situation or time of year constitutes. I think you're right about the gift of my time. It seems pretentious, and now I seem to realize why I don't like spending my time with people. Especially often. You're completely right. I feel abliged in some way by giving them my time. I feel like maybe I'm doing them an injustice by presenting myself at their doorstep or calling them on the phone. Even though I don't get the feeling of being unwanted (and when I do and it's distinct, I acknowledge it and leave or whatever), I still feel a sense of guilt by sharing my time with someone. I don't like when people call me or come over to my house. Maybe I sound dark or unfriendly, but that's not the case. I'd much rather "run into" someone I know than arrange a meeting to do nothing. Ugh...I'm frustrated now.
I feel abliged to make myself feel worthy of their time. I feel like if I'm not being entertaining enough for them or not making them laugh or something, then I'm wasting their time. I'm just not comfortable in that "come over and let's sit around doing jack shit" situation. I've become very distant from people as of lately, although I manage to let myself shine through once in a while...pointedly while laughing. It seems the only part of myself I can relate to anyone anymore. My humor. Sometimes I find myself being very condescending or acting out superiority on those who I shouldn't. What can I say more? I'm only making it worse by trying to figure it out on my own. Maybe I need a councelor. Maybe I just need a gun.
I will not kill another person for your annual birthday sacrifice! Besides, if you cut off her head it'll just grow back. My greatest gift is what I can give a woman. They love it, they want, she wants it, you want it; they all want it! *Insane crazy look*
