What if people bought cars like computers HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!" HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?" HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine." CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?" HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!" HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?" CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?" HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?" CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?" HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you." CUSTOMER: "What!?" I paid $12,000. for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!" HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Your cars stink!" HELPLINE: "What's wrong?" CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!" HELPLINE: "What were you doing?" CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!" HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?" CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash anymore!" HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?" CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?" CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"
Banshee good one1 Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
All vehicles that have to meet the CAFE standards have computers in them. (no, not with keyboards) If you need to diagnose a problem one of the first things most mechanics do is read the code that is stored onboard to see if there is a recorded problem that will lead them to the source of the problem. If your main computer goes out in a car, you're screwed! You are not going anywhere till it is replaced. For those "speed freaks" what speed does your vehicle cut off at? Smaller engines don't always have a cutoff. What it to run faster? Buy the upgrade program from your dealer.
Actually, rumor in the IT circles is that, certain car company is thinking about putting a black box into a car that records certain performance data along with 30 minutes worth detail data. The data will be recorded on a non-volatile memory chip. It is designed to provide valuable data to the designers to improve safety. But to sell the idea to the corporate brass, the engineers are saying that it might provide some hard evidence in case there is a law suit blaming the car company for the fault of the driver - when an accident occurs. So, expect a hidden black box soon disguised as a power relay box somewhere in the car. Since it is a computer storage medium, the cost will be negligible compared to the mechanical parts.
There was at one time a debate going on as to whether to install a vehicle kill device in autos. Law enforcement wanted one that could be activated by satellite to stop folks from running from the law and endangering others on the highway. My understanding was that they wanted to disengage the transmission. The auto makers did not do it because of liability.
