Add to the list:

I don't know = I do know, Im just not telling you
Maybe = No
Sure = If I find something better between now and then, no.
"why is that" = "keep quiet if you know what is good for you"
It's not you, it's me. = It's you.
Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while
No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard
I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just do not want (you as a) boy-friend now
I don't know; what do you want to do? = I can't believe that you have nothing planned
You never listen = You never listen
Oh Yes! Right there = Well, near there; I just want to get this over with
I'm just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your freinds
Size doesn't count... (unless I want an orgasm)

"why is that" = "keep quiet if you know what is good for you"

Get out of here, loser = I secretly fancy you - keep pestering me.

Hi All,

the womans mind..... so illogical...

i like this one.....

After you come home from a hard days work you ask here

you say "Hi..... how was your day?"

She says "it was ok"

this actually means well no i have had a shit day but i want you to talk to me about my day.....

~~~~~~~~~~~
take care
zak

It's not you, it's me. = It's you.

Pathetic.

Here's some:

Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while

No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard

I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just do not want (you as a) boy-friend now

I don't know; what do you want to do? = I can't believe that you have nothing planned

You never listen = You never listen

Oh Yes! Right there = Well, near there; I just want to get this over with

I'm just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your freinds

Size doesn't count... (unless I want an orgasm)

Of course, if you really just want to be able to understand women...;)
http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm238.htm

You want
= You want

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such an jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam

(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

I can understand saying "nothing" when something is up, but vice versa too? :bugeye:

"Size doesn't matter" = you have a small cock

No = Yes

Stop = Keep going

No = Yes

NO = No or I'll cry rape

tsk tsk

this you must commit to memory,

NO always means NO

No = Yes baby but force it
You Bastard = I love you but take better care of me
My Sister Thinks You're Cute = Wanna have a threesome?