Wabbit Season! Duck Season! Paparazzi Season!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20050809/en_celeb_eo/17106

So, apparently some anonymous hero (or, at the very least, anonymous twelve-year old boy with access to a Red Rider™ special) has taken a shot at a paparazzo. Is this good? Is this bad? Should there be a $100 bounty for every pelt or lens cap brought into the local trading post?

 

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I don't believe there were any 12 year olds at her party which means that an adult was the one who used a pellet gun, not BB gun, to shoot the paparazzi.What if he were to have hit him in the eye? would you then think it so funny? I really don't think that anyone should shoot someone who is only taking pictures of a celebraty for that's the price of being a celebraty today.

Would you enjoy being shot?

 

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Ahh.
Poor poor Britney.
I have no sympathy for her.
She should be hung, stripped, and gang-raped (on film of course) for this debacle.

On a serious note, these 'stars' have nothing to complain about. When they want publicity, you see them wandering about flashing cleavage and practically offering sex to the photographers to take their picture. But they want their cake and to eat it too. They want to be devoured only when they want to be devoured.

It doesn't work like that. You make yourself into a meal and you get eaten when the eater chooses.
Don't like it? Then give up your 'stardom'.

I think that the colloseum should be reinvigorated and we should have a match between 'stars' and 'papparazi'. To the death.
The world would be a better place when it was over.

 

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Darn it, I specifically set the controls on this thread to "absurdist sarcasm-friendly." Good thing I kept the receipt. Lousy technology!

Sigh.

At what point do we, the readers, understand that Mr. Swift does not actually intend that the Irish eat their babies?

Invert, you have made my day. Would this colloseum be equipped with weapons, or would they be forced to talk each other to death?

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I think we could have a variety of matches. Some with the stars armed. Some with the paparazzi. Some with both. Some with neither. There's plenty to go around.

Probably ought to throw in some lawyers and agents too.

Ah. The wonders of the colloseum return once more to this earth. Imagine the howls and catcalls of the audience. And imagine the shocked dismay when they realize that the final act would be their own turn to face the blade. Because, of course, they're the same people who make the whole debacle of stars and paparazzi possible in the first place.

Let me get this straight.
Don't eat the babies?
Ooops.

 

They are as bad as each other, really. I couldn't care less about either party. Whores and opportunists. Good for them...

 

So, DarkEyedBeauty, are you implying/saying that you think it's okay for some people to shoot other people with BB guns? Or is it only those that you, personally, designate as worthy of such violence?

If religious freak-o's started driving around town shooting whores, prostitutes and streetwalkers, you'd give it an okay? How interesting. Can I make such a designation myself? And what about others ...can they, too, designate targets?

Baron Max

 

It's fun to do. Yes. For me and my friends at least.

 

I thought you were more of an edged-weapon sort of fellow, Hap?

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When I was growing up, I had a male friend who would spend hours prowling the woods, shooting his cronies and being shot by them in a sort of Lord of the Flies-meets-the-OK Corral scenario. They always came back smiling, so I guess pellet guns don't do any lasting damage if one digs the little hunk of lead from one's flesh.

Then again, there are many types of lasting damage - this same friend also ate dog food when we were kids, so he may not be the best example.

 

Oh, just about any weapon is good to use.
Halberd, Sword, Musket, auto-rifle.
Just depends on how much pain you wish to inflict.

 

A bit tricky to dig one outta' someone's eyeball, ain't it?

'Course, all the underage bastards have to do is say, "I'm sorry." and the courts let 'em off with nothing but a slap on the wrist. So, hey, we're teachin' our kids that shooting pellet guns at people is no big deal, huh?

Baron Max

 

All right, all right, I acquiesce - the parents, the Santa, and the teachers from "A Christmas Story" are right - you'll shoot your eye out!

That aside, I'm assuming (as Cosmictraveler pointed out above) that the shooter was an adult, and is therefore culpable for his or her actions.

Naturally, I am not suggesting that ANYONE shoot ANYONE else, but rather attempting to illustrate, via a bit of wry commentary, the adversarial and complex relationship between the stars and the paparazzi that stalk them in order to sustain an equally complicated and unwholesome relationship with the masses that demand to know every little detail of the stars' lives.

(paging Mr. Swift...Mr. Johnathan Swift...you're needed at the Satire counter...Mr. Johnathan Swift, please come to the Courtesy Phone at the Satire counter...)

 

I suggest that the 'stars' have a fine defense available to them. They can claim self-defense as it's a well-known fact that being photographed steals one's soul.

Oh. Wait. That means they lost their souls long ago.
So.
Kill them all.

 

looks like someone's already been taking pot shots at poor old spears' face:

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you can understand britney wanting to protect her privacy, I mean she wouldn't the pap to catch her with her pants down now would she?

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Well. They shut you down pretty quick. I did some investigation work and found this:

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Is this the pic you meant to show?
Looks like Britney's friends really respect her, eh?

 

It's not ok...but I don't care if they do it. I'm not in either party, which is corrupt at its core.

It's terrible that someone was shot over such trivial shit, but they are involved in it.

 

verite, looks like kev lost his keys and is trying to get in through the back door.

 

So if you're not affiliated in any way with a group, you don't give a shit if someone takes a pot shot at them? Just like that ...you don't care?

Are you sure that ye're not related to me?!

Like, I was just thinking how much better the USA would be if someone dropped a gazillion-ton nuke on New York City. ...maybe a second one on Los Angeles? ...a third on, say, Miami? (Anyone else have a "favorite" city for "de-contamination"?).

Baron Max

 

Max,

Your example is stupid.
Why?
Because the paparazzi and the stars are in a system where they both use the other. The stars have nothing to bitch about because they encourage the behavior when they want publicity. The paparazzi have nothing to bitch about because they're pretty goddamn extreme and have no qualms with endangering the lives of either themselves or others in their pursuit of a juicy photo.

Kill them all.

Now. You could actually say that your religious whackos and the whores are sort of in a similar situation as when the whores are down on their luck they might spend some time in religious halfway houses or shelters or whatever. Soup kitchens. Whatnot. But, it's not exactly the same thing. Now is it?


Personally, I find it all rather poetic. The paparazzi was shot while trying to get a shot of his star.
Sweet.
Maybe next time they will get him in the eye. Then he could wear a patch and have a real story to tell.


Outlandish,

Kev?
You actually know who that is, don't you?
That's so sad.