The following is from Kurt Vonnegut’s novel Slapstick in which the main character Dr. Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain is described: "born with various deformities which he shares with his twin sister, but they are both highly intelligent. In fact, when they are together, they are a mental powerhouse of knowledge." So when he becomes president, virtually by default, years later he runs under the banner "Lonesome No More!" and institutes an idea that he created with his twin in their younger days. Everyone gets middle names and numbers that create an extended family. For instance, Wilbur is cousins with all the Daffodils, and he is a sibling of all Daffodils numbered 11. It is a family to provide a shoulder to cry upon, or a hand to lift you. The idea of artificially extended families aims to increase the welfare and social support of the individual. However, it is not a utopian dream. Wilbur, the novel's protagonist, explains during his election campaign for the presidency how any request for money from a street beggar in the new social order should be treated. You ask him his middle name, and when he tells you "Oyster-19" or "Chickadee-1" or "Hollyhock-13" you say to him: Buster - I happen to be a Uranium-3. You have one hundred and ninety thousand cousins and ten thousand brothers and sisters. You're not exactly alone in this world. I have relatives of my own to look after. So why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooooon? What I enjoy is that one unforeseen consequence of this social program is that some of the number groups gather into larger social organizations. Hence the Thirteen Club: regardless of the first part of their new family name, many of the Thirteens start private clubs that only Thirteens may enter. The clubs have a black cat and Halooween-ish motif. So as President, Dr. Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain, who is an eleven, tries to get into a 13 Club in New York City. The door man, who knows exactly who he is, and admits to voting for President Swain, refuses him entry. He says, “With all due respect, sir; why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooooon?” Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain writes that he was beside himself with glee to see the realization of his dream! Now I am not maintaining such a social safety net program would work, or should be implemented,but it is an interesting idea to discuss, I think. My opinion is that it would not work because most Americans, I can't say about other nationalities, do very little for their kin as it is, so burdening them with a larger 'family' isn't going to get anywhere. On the other hand, maybe such a program would be a great way to fight racism, poverty and the general divisiveness and isolation of American society. What do you think? Read more at Suite101: Slapstick, by Kurt Vonnegut | Suite101.com
