Hi Everyone,

Since I did so much squawking about it in earlier posts...especially to Snakelord...I thought it only right to let you all know that unfortunately...my rock star did not show up on Halloween...as I had much anticipated.

Please try not to make fun of me too much...as I am very, very sad.

F#*K Halloween.

Hey, all that aside - you have shown tremendous honesty, which takes a lot of strength sometimes. Now I know some would claim pride is a sin, but ignore them for a moment and be proud that you have managed to do something many people couldn't have done.

However, I am curious as to how your future path looks now, and where you intend to go from here.

Hi Snake! It's been a while...it's nice to hear from you. Thanks for the compliment, but after running my mouth as much as I did, I felt that it was the only right thing to do.

And yea, if you can imagine...halloween really sucked hard. I had made some pretty serious preparations in anticipation of his arrival. It was kind of like having a party and no one showing up. I went to bed that night in absolute shock. I just wanted to go to sleep as quickly as possible so I wouldn't have to think about what had just happened, and I did go to sleep quickly...but eventually had to wake up. I found that I couldn't do it...was up for just long enough to shove a bunch of halloween candy and pumpkin pie that I had made down my throat and went right back to bed. I stayed in bed all day.

At some point though, I got up for long enough to hop on the internet and chat with my friend "Heart"...that's what she goes by out here on the forum. Talking to her always makes me feel better...she's a dear...I don't know what I would do without her...especially going through all of this craziness over the past seven months. She has prophetic dreams sometimes...lucid dreams too...and she told me about this one with me in it...and it made me feel alot better.

It was funny...I was online telling her about how I didn't want to think about my rock star anymore...or to see him...or to hear him...or to think about any of this anymore. I was just done...done anticipating. I mean, how long can you anticipate something like this? It's been driving me nuts. And then to be let down like I was on halloween. I felt like I had been set up...and that's not the first time that I've felt that way during this whole thing. Like God knew that I would look at all of the signs and what was presented to me, and he knew that I would come to certain conclusions based upon them...but would be wrong...and I just felt like it was mean...cruel. I know that it was my own damn fault. I should have known that I would be wrong...what else would I be? Trying to figure out God and his plan...I'm always wrong when I do that...you can't figure out God and his plan...it's perfect, and my brain isn't. But still...I never wanted to feel so let down again...so I just wanted it out of sight...out of mind. And so I sat there and went straight to the band's message board!?!?!?!

I just couldn't help it. And there was this new thread that contained a link to a little recent interview with him and their guitar player...with a little video clip. So I watched the clip...several times. And don't you know, it made me smile. I couldn't help it. They were talking about the new album that they're working on, and how many songs that they've written for it...and he looked so alive, and excited, and happy, and peaceful...it just made me feel so good and so thankful to see him that way...after all that he has been through, and for so long...I just thank God that he is healed and alive and happy now.

And seeing him just made me realize how stupid and selfish I am...as usual. It made me realize that it's not about me. Its not about me and my stupid little self-serving feelings. It's about something so much bigger than me and my feelings and my pride and my selfish desires.

That beautiful smile...on that sweet little face of his...that's what it's about. That and so much more.

And so he helped me...he helped me right my perspective. He makes me want to be a better person. I really wish that I could be better for him...better in every way. I'm so wretched...and he deserves someone so much better. He inspires me to try...try harder...to reach out to God for help...for strength...for love.

Sooooooo, thats what I'll do. I certainly won't be trying to anticipate anything anymore. I'm just going to take it one day at a time...one moment at a time is more like it. That's all I can do. And I know that I'll get through this...and I'll be alright. I'm so fortunate to have so many people who love me...and I have to remember how important it is to love them back right now...and stop being so self-concerned...and that will get me through this.

Hey...thanks a lot for caring ok? It means a lot to me...it really does...so thanks.

Love, Lori.

So "Rock Star" wasn't some unknown individual but an actual person that you're obsessing over? Lori. You are on a bad path. I don't mean to be mean or anything but you are not healthy. Get some help. Some advice from a mental health professional. Advice from anyone who doesn't get prophetic visions. There is a world out there. Have fantasies about people you actually interact with. Not mythical beings, Rock Star or otherwise.

I wish you luck. I have the feeling that you won't take my advice though.

Invert,

You know, I totally understand and appreciate your concern and advice. But I know that a mental health professional and just about anyone else for that matter is just going to tell me that I'm delusional....well, no, they would say that I'm completely sane and normal and healthy mentally...EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE THING, and in regards to that...I'm completely delusional. So what's the point in paying the money to hear it? Listen, I completely understand that what I'm saying sounds nutso, but all I can say is that it happened. This happened to me....this actually happened to me. It changed me...it changed my life...and nothing is the same...nothing will ever be the same again...I will never be the same again. In order for me to deny what has happened to me...THEN I would have to be insane...there IS NO denying it. I know that what I'm saying is completely over the top, but I swear to you that it actually happened...I swear to you that I'm telling you the truth. I'm not fantasizing...well, ok, I have fantisized about him some...but I have interacted with him...in the spirit...it was midnight...on the eve of 3/31/04...morning of 4/1/04...yea, april fool's day...god has a sicko sense of humor sometimes I swear. He came to my home...I was sitting on my couch reading the book of revelations....he was with an angel of the lord or jesus himself...someone else was there with him...and he gave me a hug and a kiss...and I'll never be the same again. Prior to that...the reason that I knew it was him...to ask if it was him that hugged me...kissed me...things had happened in response to his music. God had spoken to me and explained things to me about his lyrics...things that God had told me about years before...about alien abduction, the mark of the beast, and end times prophecy...the book of revelations. God told me to write to him...to write him a letter about his lyrics. I thought that was an absolutely crazy idea....I felt so intimidated and stupid...and so I put it off. Then God told me to send him flowers...which I thought was even crazier than writing him a letter...after all, how do you send a rock star flowers? You can't. But I was going to find a way...after all, when God tells you to do something...you f'ing do it. So, I had sat down to write a little note to send with the flowers that I had no idea how I would send to him, and seven paragraphs of rather beautiful prose came out of me. I didn't write it. I was astounded at the fact that I had not written this prose, and yet it was there...I didn't understand what the hell was happening. And that was when shit just started going wild....the holy spirit was on me like an ocean...I was just swimming in it...barely able to keep my head above water....I was drowning in it. All of these revelations kept coming to me...things that I did not understand being told to me...explained to me. The bible was being brought to life right before my eyes....it was becoming my life...blowing my mind...absolutely blown to smithereens. And I was also to write a second letter...another seven paragraphs. I hadn't counted the first...but it was the second one that prompted me to count to seven, and then I looked back at the first and it was seven too. I realized writing the second one that I was writing in a trance like state....I observed my pupils to become as big around as my irises...black eyes...freaked me out....and my feet felt as heavy as lead when I tried to walk. There was a spirit inside of me writing the letter. The day that I was planning to send the second letter, I sat on my couch and watched the piece of paper that had the bands po box address on it wad itself up into a ball all by itself (well, that's how it appeared anyway), and the stationery package and the envelope package...it's shrink wrap become so tight around it that it became striated and the envelopes began pushing their way out of the end of the package. That was all a sign to tell me to not send the second letter. The first letter and the SILK flowers that I had sent to with it, came back unclaimed from the bands po box 2 months later without explanation. The explanation being that we're not supposed to communicate in the flesh. The explanation being that he travels in the spirit, and was with me when I was writing the letters...reading them over my shoulder I suppose. We don't need to communticate in the flesh...though I keep wanting to so bad. There are so many other things that have happened to me throughout this whole ordeal...I could go on and on and on to the point of writing a book.

Listen, when something like this happens to you...*shrug*...there IS NO denying it. This has been so difficult for me to get my own mind around...I still don't understand all of it...it has absolutely blown my mind. But dude...IT F'ING HAPPENED OK? To deny it, would be like trying to deny that a tornado came along and blew my house down. For me to imagine something like this is absolutely impossible...no one has THAT good of an imagination...no one...it's impossible. And as crazy as this all sounds...I am not crazy...I am not delusional. I saw what I saw, and I felt what I felt, and what happened to me actually happened. And as over the top as it all is, it's the honest to God's truth.

There was a spirit inside of me writing the letter.

I would more likely call that your "subconsciousness". You know, there is a part of us that we are not aware of. For example when we are really concentrated on writing, it doesn't seem like it is "me" who is writing, but someone that does it for me, or through me. There are many things we don't think about, because it is in our subconsciousness. Like when we are walking, we don't really concentrate on moving our legs and so... we just do it, because we have learnt it so well. We have become the walking itself :S If you become aware of some weird "powers" never misuse them, because it's not good.... Interresting story btw.

I would more likely call that your "subconsciousness". You know, there is a part of us that we are not aware of. For example when we are really concentrated on writing, it doesn't seem like it is "me" who is writing, but someone that does it for me, or through me. There are many things we don't think about, because it is in our subconsciousness. Like when we are walking, we don't really concentrate on moving our legs and so... we just do it, because we have learnt it so well. We have become the walking itself :S If you become aware of some weird "powers" never misuse them, because it's not good.... Interresting story btw.

Yea, it's interesting alright...more than that...try mind blowing.

About the "power"...it's not mine...it wasn't me...that's the whole point. It was the holy spirit inside me...writing through me....healing through me...using me. Which is what I've prayed for for years and years. When you're born again, you realize more and more that being a vessel for the holy spirit is the only valuable purpose that your flesh has. Being used by god...living your life in his will...is the only source of worth and value that your life has. It's not my power...it's the power of he who lives in me...who was born in me of the spirit. I can't heal...and trust me...I can't write. You're looking at how I write, and it's anything but poetry. Poetry confounds my brain...I could never have written what came out of me.

And to say it was my subconscious....it seems that you're not paying attention to what I'm saying. I wasn't concentrating on writing first of all...I sat down to write a little courtesy "get well" note to accompany a flower arrangement, and seven paragraphs of prose came out?????????????? I wasn't concentrating on anything except god telling me to write him a letter. I asked god, "are you kidding!?!?!" I was intimidated as hell...I thought it sounded like a ridiculous idea, and the thought of even trying embarrassed me. I had no idea what to say or how.

Secondly, your subconscious doesn't make your legs feel like lead when you're trying to walk, or make your pupils dilate for no apparent reason. I SAID that when I was writing the second letter I noticed these things about my body...about what was happening to me...and I was shocked...it totally freaked me out. My eyes became transfixed on a certain point on the page, as my hand wrote, in what wasn't a neat way, but a uniform way...the letters being the same size and shape. I knew that the writing was "correct" because the words would line up perfectly with the margins on the page. If I hadn't written the wrong word, or missed words, it would line up correctly...so I would erase and rewrite, until it lined up perfectly...until it became more and more perfect. And that's when I realized that in it's perfect form...it consisted of seven paragraphs of exactly ten lines a piece. And also when I wrote, I would get a pain in the middle of my forehead...right between my eyes...the longer I wrote, the worse the pain got. When I would stop writing the pain would go away. When I would begin again, it would come back and intensify the longer I wrote.

And not to mention the fact that the rock star dude talks about this very thing in the lyrics to his songs. He talks about the flowers...he talks about the writing...and he also talks about my eyes.

And this whole writing thing...this is just a mere sliver of what makes up my miracle in it's entirety. The writing is a drop in what is the bucket of my miracle. There is so much more, it just goes on and on.

And it just absolutely kills me that I testify to these things, and people respond with shit like "it's just your subconscious"...no offense what768...it's not just you, it's everyone. It's just so apparent to me that people would rather believe ANYTHING, no matter how illogical or obviously wrong, than to believe in god. People will go to such great lengths to deny the obvious truth, because the truth is too consequential for them. They can't handle the truth. Because the truth is that God is real, and that Jesus is his son...God come in the flesh...and He is who He says He is, and He does what He says He can do...and He has done it for me...and He can do it for you too.

C'mon, don't you want to be crazy like me? lol! Yea, it's great...god can give you a miracle, and then everyone will think you're crazy too! I'm kidding...kind of. I'm not going to lie...this has been, and continues to be a huge challenge for me. It is the greatest thing, and the hardest thing, that's ever happened to me, at the same time. Which stands to reason...nothing good and worth while comes easily. And as much bitching and moaning as I do, I wouldn't have it any other way...and god knows that. It's what I want...it's what I asked for...prayed for. Honestly, it's the only reason that I'm alive...that I want to be alive. If my life doesn't belong to god, then it needs to end, because I don't want it for myself. I life lived for yourself is empty, and futile, and lonely, and painful...and who needs that? Just another guest for the Jerry Springer show...and the world already has too many of those yea?

I wish that what's happened to me wasn't so difficult for me to put into words. It's so volumous...it's like a huge puzzle. One day, with the help of my rock star, we will be able to tell everyone everything. And you know the weirdest thing about it all will be that even then...with all of the proof...and all of the testimony...and all of the validation...there will still be those who will choose not to believe...for no logical reason...and based upon no sound evidence, actually ignoring the contrary...for no other reason than to deny god because it's what they want to do.

Listen, when something like this happens to you...*shrug*...there IS NO denying it. This has been so difficult for me to get my own mind around...I still don't understand all of it...it has absolutely blown my mind. But dude...IT F'ING HAPPENED OK? To deny it, would be like trying to deny that a tornado came along and blew my house down. For me to imagine something like this is absolutely impossible...no one has THAT good of an imagination...no one...it's impossible. And as crazy as this all sounds...I am not crazy...I am not delusional. I saw what I saw, and I felt what I felt, and what happened to me actually happened. And as over the top as it all is, it's the honest to God's truth.

The amusing thing is that you said exactly the same nonsense when you "knew" this rock star would be yours by halloween. That has now been shown as complete hocum, but it didn't stop you saying "it's the honest to god's truth", back then.

Lori_7

You know I believe that you had this experience and I believe in god. I just want to explain things in my way and I want to give place for "scientific thinking", to also know HOW god does what he does. The word subconscious is very hard to understand and I could also call IT the "holy spirit". I believe god is inside every human being and gives us life. I don't want a personal free life, but I'm attached here on earth because the personal feelings I have for the world are greater than the love I have for god. "I" don't want it to be like that, but my earthly feelings won't let me back to god. A personal life is just full of misery. I'm going to pray for god to take control of my life and make me the kind of person he likes me to be, but my faith is poor...

You say that "I can't heal and I can't write", but do you know who this "I" is that you're talking about? I don't wan't to convince you for my truth you wouldn't believe me anyway, everyone has their OWN path to walk. You too let me have my truth, don't judge me too hard. I am not you and I can't see things as you do. And you know that all these who don't believe in you would believe if they experienced what you did right? I believe that if we really concentrate on something we will lose our thoughts, our feelings will vanish and our body will act by "itself". And "not concentrating" (clearing the mind) is the same as extreme concentration. I also believe that it is the same "I", the same self, within every human.

You don't know what I mean with subconscious. Maybe we have different views of the word. I believe that even our thoughts and feelings are made of something, it's just hard to feel them. When we "concentrate" on our finger, we can move it. It's a "miracle." But it's an "everyday thing" so no one "thinks" about it. You won't believe me but I believe that our subconsciousness can make our legs feel like lead. I think everything comes from me, from within, from our subconsciousness, from god. If we clear our mind we can let the spirit inside of us do things through us.

I think everything is in our subconsciousness. We are allknowing. We know the past, we know the future we know everything. You call it god, I call it "a higher Me". They're just two different views of the same thing, aren't they? Sometimes I call it god, because it is no personal "me" that is inside of me, but it is a divine me, it is "god".

If you get a pain in your head you propably shouldn't do what you do... I still believe it can be dangerous, this thing. I believe in "miracles", but I believe there is a natural explanation for them, also for god. God is the most high and jesus is his son. But I also believe that Jesus wanted to show that we can all be like him, if we want. I want to have reasons for things, I need to know how they work. But I also believe in some things I don't know how they work when I feel that they are true. I believe that for example prayers give us strength because we think there is a god that helps us, and then we somehow help ourselves and miracles happen through us, because there is a divine "self" within humans. That's what I want to call it... you're as right as I am, i'm not saying you're wrong when you say the holy spirit wrote through you because i know what you mean, but i have a different view of it.

I know god can make miracles, but people already think i'm "crazy", delusional because I believe in "god". We must be like god, we must let people believe what they want to believe. We have a free will to choose and god doesn't interfere or try to convince us as long as we don't want to. And we must always remember to do what god would do... My belief in god is not really christian but I believe in many things in the bible. So you will ignore and tell me i'm wrong, will you... But I won't tell you're wrong, although I have different view... of the same thing...

The amusing thing is that you said exactly the same nonsense when you "knew" this rock star would be yours by halloween. That has now been shown as complete hocum, but it didn't stop you saying "it's the honest to god's truth", back then.


I know I did. I was wrong. Snake, I'm telling you that there were a gazillion reasons why it was halloween...and yet it wasn't. Thats why it felt like I was set up so to speak. All I can say is that if you were me...anyone in my place...would have thought that it was halloween as well. I would have had to have been crazy NOT to think it was halloween, and yet it was not. As disappointed as I was, I know that God's timing is perfect, and his will and reasons are perfect. There was a reason why I expected it to be halloween and yet it was not...a reason to set me up and a good one at that.

And don't misquote me...I said that my miracle happened and that my rock star would eventually show up...that is the god's honest truth. I did not say that it would for sure be on halloween. If I did I was lying, because I had said to everyone that I was 99.9999% sure it was halloween that he was coming. But I also said that I could be wrong...even though I didn't think I was...I had been wrong before, and knew that I could be again. But I attest to the fact that I was stunned when I found out I was wrong...completely stunned.

What768,

Sorry...I misunderstood you. I'm sorry really I am. I've unfortunately become used to people ignoring what I say...or being extremely selective about hearing what I say regarding this miracle. They just don't "process" what doesn't jive with their existing paradigms...which in the case of my miracle...is like the entire thing pretty much. Even people who are close to me, like my own family has blown this thing off, like it's some "fixation" that I have cause I'm lonely. And if they ignore it enough it will just go away or something. It's profoundly frustrating. I try to tell them that what they're choosing to tell themselves about this just doesn't make sense...that there is no in between....the logic doesnt allow it. Either what I've testified to is the truth, or I'm completely insane and delusional...there is no middle ground. And yet they tell themselves that there is just to appease their own emotions and satisfy their desires to deny god and pretend that everything is "normal". I think it's pretty evident that nothing is normal. I've told them things...details about circumstances regarding the miracle, and they have "forgotten" them. They don't even familiarize themselves with the band's material or with this rock star that I keep going on and on about. They don't even listen to his music or read his lyrics to try and understand what I'm talking about. They won't even try. I mean, I sorry, but if it were MY daughter, and she came to me and told me what I had told them. The first thing I would do would be to find everything I could out about the band. I would sit down with her and listen to the music and read the lyrics and have her explain what she was talking about. There are so many things that I could share with them, BUT THEY JUST DONT WANT TO KNOW. And it's ridiculous! It's absolutely ridiculous and appalling. But it's also a perfect example of how people believe what they want to believe, and completely shut out any evidence of the contrary whether it makes sense to do so or not. It doesn't have anything to do with logic, it doesn't have anything to do with evidence, it doesn't have anything to do with truth. The only thing it has to do with is a sincere desire, or lack thereof, within someone's heart to know of the truth, and that's it. And I've understood that for a long time now...because I've lived it myself...knowing what it took for me to finally sincerely seek the truth. But to see it so blatently, and so close to home...for it to be in such a personal context...it just makes it kind of shocking.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I misunderstood you...my bad.

If we are lonely we have much time with "ourselves", and god. But this age has not yet come, when people possess or accept "these things" so they won't understand, and even at the "end times" when so many people possess them, some will still see "these things" as "unnatural."

Lori_7: Sorry...I misunderstood you. I'm sorry really I am. I've unfortunately become used to people ignoring what I say... or being extremely selective about hearing what I say regarding this miracle. They just don't "process" what doesn't jive with their existing paradigms...which in the case of my miracle...is like the entire thing pretty much. Even people who are close to me, like my own family has blown this thing off, like it's some "fixation" that I have cause I'm lonely. And if they ignore it enough it will just go away or something. It's profoundly frustrating. I try to tell them that what they're choosing to tell themselves about this just doesn't make sense...that there is no in between....the logic doesnt allow it. Either what I've testified to is the truth, or I'm completely insane and delusional...there is no middle ground. And yet they tell themselves that there is just to appease their own emotions and satisfy their desires to deny god and pretend that everything is "normal". I think it's pretty evident that nothing is normal. I've told them things...details about circumstances regarding the miracle, and they have "forgotten" them. They don't even familiarize themselves with the band's material or with this rock star that I keep going on and on about. They don't even listen to his music or read his lyrics to try and understand what I'm talking about. They won't even try. I mean, I sorry, but if it were MY daughter, and she came to me and told me what I had told them. The first thing I would do would be to find everything I could out about the band. I would sit down with her and listen to the music and read the lyrics and have her explain what she was talking about. There are so many things that I could share with them, BUT THEY JUST DONT WANT TO KNOW. And it's ridiculous! It's absolutely ridiculous and appalling. But it's also a perfect example of how people believe what they want to believe, and completely shut out any evidence of the contrary whether it makes sense to do so or not. It doesn't have anything to do with logic, it doesn't have anything to do with evidence, it doesn't have anything to do with truth. The only thing it has to do with is a sincere desire, or lack thereof, within someone's heart to know of the truth, and that's it. And I've understood that for a long time now...because I've lived it myself...knowing what it took for me to finally sincerely seek the truth. But to see it so blatently, and so close to home... for it to be in such a personal context...it just makes it kind of shocking. Anyway, I'm sorry that I misunderstood you...my bad.
*************
M*W: Lori, I know how you must feel. I've been in your shoes at your age. I remember the hurt, the embarassment, the emotional pain I felt when I didnt' get attention of a rock musician. I truly understand your position.

In all honesty, I will say that your belief in Jesus is probably what turned your rock musician off. Artists are an enlightened species. It's not your rock musician who dumped you, it was your belief in Jesus that made your rock musician dump you. It's a diverse world out there, my little Lori. You tried to win your man, and I believe he must have wanted you, too. But, religion has no place with rock stars. I'm a former 'rock star' so I know how they think. They're a rebellious lot. Loving a rock star is a fickle life. They love you back one day -- and dump you the next. I've never had the opportunity to say this to any young woman. My daughters are lesbians, so I tell you this. Don't fall in love with a rock star, for you'll never be the only woman he loves. He may play great rock music, but he can never be trusted as a lover.

MW,

Um...thanks for the sympathy. You're a former rock star? That is so f'ing cool. I love music...I love singing. Even though I don't know who you are...thanks for what you contributed to this world through your music. I appreciate it...it takes a lot of guts to be an artist...I admire that. But you don't understand...me and this guy have never comunicated in the flesh in any way. We shared a spiritual experience...that experience being what I'm calling my miracle. But other than that, we don't not have a relationship of any kind in the flesh. We have never met, nor spoken, nor written to each other...ever...yet. See, that's what makes it a miracle...all of our communication has been through god, and via the spiritual realm. That's why no one believe's that he is coming to get me someday...cause they don't believe that any of this has happened...that he's aware of my "psychosis" or "delusion" as they describe it. But it did happen...and he is coming for me. It's a miracle see? Cause Jesus rocks!

Well, let me reiterate...I did send the first letter that the holy spirit wrote to him through me...with silk flowers...to his bands po box. But it was returned 2 months later unclaimed and unopened. Which in itself is extremely weird...seeing as how they open every other piece of mail or package that they receive from their po box. he sent it back on purpose, cause we're not supposed to communicate in the flesh in any way. to serve as a witness to people like you guys...who won't be able to say that we have corroborated this story...and yet probably still will say that very thing. lol

he sent it back on purpose, cause we're not supposed to communicate in the flesh in any way. to serve as a witness to people like you guys...who won't be able to say that we have corroborated this story...and yet probably still will say that very thing. lol

Somewhat bizarre given that you claim on another thread that you two have been chatting on a forum.

Somewhat bizarre given that you claim on another thread that you two have been chatting on a forum.

Five years ago. I had no idea who he was...he didn't identify himself, and even if he had, I still wouldn't have known who he was? I had no idea what was to happen five years in the future, and neither did he for all I know. We didn't talk about much actually...he never really debated with me...or contradicted me, even though it seemed that he did not believe as I did...he talked to others mostly. But he did rather chivalrously jump in and defend my honor when someone was being rude to me or inappropriate a time or two. He was really sweet...not just to me, but to everyone...he's really sweet. We never talked about much of anything, much less anything that had to do with what has happened to us as of late.

Here's what I think happened...he came out here looking for help...and I came out here looking to help...both of us regarding the same thing, and God hooked us up. We were both part of God's plan but just didn't know it at the time. He had been deceived...afflicted with the mark of the beast...spiritual death...but I don't think he understood exactly what had happened to him or why...I'm not sure...I really can't speak for him...there are many things I just don't understand. I just think he was desperately looking for answers...for a way out of what had happened to him. Prior to coming out here myself, God had told me about aliens...their agenda...the mark. And I told Him...I prayed to Him and asked that He use me to help someone...to warn people...to help to save them. I wanted to share what God had told me...as a warning...so people would understand...would know better. And so I went to many different websites...many different forums and spoke about what I knew, and got yelled at and insulted a lot. lol. But I ended up staying here for a long time. Eventually I quit posting...I got burnt out. That was years ago.

You know, since five years ago, it has seemed to me that I've been in some "funk" for lack of a better term. My life has been absolutely turned upside down...everything. And I've known that God has been doing something...what I didn't understand...I had no idea really...but I could feel that He was working behind the scenes of my life. It's been really weird, and kind of difficult at times, but I've trusted Him. And man, I sure am glad I did. To try to have anticipated what He has done with my life would have been truly impossible...talk about exceeding expectations...wow.

Snake,

The following is something that I wrote down...trying to document the many aspects of what has happened to me...

Crazy Bird Dude

One day in the spring of 2000 (I think it was 2000), I received a very strange e-mail. I don’t remember the name of the person who sent the e-mail, but I do remember that I didn’t recognize the name at all. It seems that it wasn’t an easily identifiable name, or a common name, like Bob, or Jennifer, or whatever. But rather a fictitious name, like one that you would use in an internet chat room or message board…something made up. If I’m not mistaken, I couldn’t even tell which gender the person was by their name.

Anyway, the e-mail was strange to me, because it contained poetry. Really good poetry…or I assumed it to be, as I was unable to make heads or tails out of it. And the more complicated and complex, or metaphorical that prose seems, the better it seems, to me. Not that I can appreciate it…or do appreciate it…because I don’t get it…and don’t like it. I think that I’ve made my sentiments toward prose quite clear in an earlier chapter. It’s just that because I am so willfully inept in this regard, I guess I assume that the less I understand a poem, then the more accomplished the poet. Anyway…I had no idea what this person was trying to say to me. It seemed like they were trying to say something though…like the prose was not some that they found in a book and thought was clever, so they were sending it out to a bunch of people in some chain e-mail. My memory of this encounter, and the content of the e-mail, is very sketchy…but the prose wasn’t structured…like that which would be published or for a common appreciation. But it was conversational…and the with conversation being directed at me. So the only thing that I did understand about it, was that I was supposed to understand it, but did not.

Which of course frustrated me, because I hate poetry, and I totally didn’t get the message that this person was trying to convey. And so I e-mailed the person back, explaining to them that I didn’t get it. I apologized, but explained that I didn’t understand poetry, so I didn’t understand what they were trying to say to me. I asked them if they could possibly reword what they were trying to say…dumb it down a bit for me…so that I could understand.

And they responded to my request with more prose. It was just as complicated as the first message was…and I may have understood it even less. And after reading this second message, I also understood that this was indeed an intended form of conversation for this person, and not just some prose that they wanted me to appreciate. So this person was definitely conversing with me, and attempting to convey a message to me in the conversation. But their words were so metaphorical, and their vocabulary was so advanced, that it made the message extremely complicated and completely veiled. And I thought, “What an asshole!” I mean, didn’t they get what I was saying? I told them that I didn’t understand the first e-mail that they sent, and why I didn’t understand it…so they send another of the exact same fashion? Why would they do that? Were they purposefully trying to frustrate or annoy me? It almost felt as if they were being hostile…hostile with their prose. It sounds funny, but that’s what it felt like to me. After all, I abhor poetry…it makes me feel stupid…and not many things do. I hate feeling stupid…I’m not used to it, and I don’t like it.

So I e-mailed this person back, and I really laid into them this time. I can’t remember exactly what it is that I said, but I made it very clear, in my standard lack of tact way, that I didn’t appreciate their prose at all. I probably told them to stick it…you know where. I told them that if they wanted to communicate with me that they would have to speak my language, because for all I knew, they may as well have been speaking Chinese thus far. Like I said…I can’t remember what I said exactly. But I know that I was very angry when I wrote it…very defensive…as if I had been threatened. I felt that way because this person seemed so weird that they were beginning to scare me. After all, I didn’t know who they were, and I had no idea what they wanted from me, or were trying to say to me…and it was like they were harassing me, or threatening me with their words…because I didn’t understand them. It was as if they didn’t want me to understand them…especially when I had told them once to stop with the weird language, and they didn’t stop. And when I get scared or feel threatened…I can have quite a harsh tongue. I’ve scared many with it…intimidated the hell out of some…once some 6’4” 250 lb man believe it or not, who was holding a beer can in one hand and a hockey stick in another…but that‘s another story. I just know that afterward…well afterward…I remember feeling as if I was way too hard on them. Like I had over-reacted for some reason. And I couldn’t really figure out why I had reacted the way that I did…as it seemed strange to me to feel so threatened by some weird e-mail with some stupid prose in it. I mean, what’s the big deal?

So anyway, this person finally did respond by dumbing it down for me. Actually, I don’t think that they ever explained what it was that they were trying to say to me in the first e-mails…they just simply started conversing with me in English that I could understand is all. And I can’t really remember what all was said. It doesn’t seem like much was said…but I remember two things. One is that they said that often, they would get into their car, and just drive around looking for signs. Not street signs per se, but spiritual signs…like signs from God…regarding what I had no idea. So with no particular place to go, they would just drive around, and if they saw a “sign”, then they would follow it, or stop…and they would see where it led them…or who it led them to. Maybe some thing…maybe a person…maybe a conversation…maybe a place…who knows. So I’m thinking to myself, “What an absolute flake.” Seriously, this person sounded like a real weirdo to me, and at this point, I was simply humoring them with the conversation, while at the same time, rolling my eyes, and flipping off my computer screen. Then they said that they had seen my name on a street sign and had followed it…and I guess that is why they had e-mailed me. I had gathered that this person had seen my name on, and gotten my e-mail address from, the exoscience message board…I believe that they had explained this to me during our “normal” conversation, well, for lack of a better term. And I don’t recall that they told me where it was that they ended up when they had followed the street sign either…and you know, I can’t really see myself asking. Like I said, at this point, I didn’t really even want to know…to encourage this crazy person would have seemed a stupid thing to do.

The second thing that I remember them saying to me was that they liked birds. And I’m sure that my response was something along the lines of, “that’s swell…so what?”…and again, rolling my eyes at this freak. And so upon my effort to end the conversation with this person, they told me that they would “send me a bird”, or “send a bird to me”…I’m not sure exactly how they worded it, but it was something like that. And to that I said, “Great…send me a bird…you freak.” Or something along those lines anyway…I may have been a bit more diplomatic, but that was surely what I was thinking…and I do know that I had no interest in talking to this person again. And so that was the end of our “conversation”…for lack of a better term.

A few days later…maybe three days later I think…I was laying out in the sun in my back yard. I was laying in the grass, right underneath the utility line that ran to my house. And on that line there came to sit a bird. It was a black bird…with a hideous voice. I think that it was a starling. And it sat there directly above the spot where I was laying, and screamed in this hideous voice. It’s call was so ugly…just awful…and loud. And it just went on and on and on and on. It must have sat there screaming like that for a good fifteen minutes. To the point where it was no longer simply disturbing me…but it was scaring me…giving me the creeps. It was as if the bird was screaming at me. And so I yelled at it. Screamed back at it…told it to go away…and probably using some choice expletives to do so. And it flew away. And I thought to myself, “Could it be?” And then I scolded myself for being so ridiculous as to entertain the very idea of it, and just resided to put the whole experience out of my memory as quickly and completely as possible.

Hmm…what about some of the nut-jobs you can meet out on the internet, huh? A strange bird indeed.

****

This person who emailed me was my rock star. He was trying to reach out to me. He had seen something regarding me...knew something...been given a sign, and he was trying to...insinuate. And I had absolutely no idea what was happening...obviously. I didn't recognize him as the guy from the forum either...he used a different name, and he came across very differently in the email than he did when posting on the forum. But that was the beginning of what has become "my miracle". Way back then...I had no idea. I hadn't thought about it for years...until this all happened...and God told me that it was him...that crazy bird dude was in fact my rock star. Dude...it gets even weirder than that...lol.

Oh yea, and I must say that I have a new found appreciation for poetry. I like it a lot. Cause now I understand him...I mean it. Now the prose that he writes is really beautiful to me...just like he is. It's part of him and I love it...just like I love him.

As I asked on the other thread, due to your absoltue desire to 'witness' to me, provide a link.

who won't be able to say that we have corroborated this story

But the very act of your speaking means everyone could and would show you have corroborated the story. Saying "Oh boohoo I didn't know him really, it was 5 years ago", doesn't mean much at the end of the day.

Not to mention that it completely contradicts this:

"We have never met, nor spoken, nor written to each other...ever"

You're lying. Plain and simple.

yes, i'm lying. i'm a wretched evil delusional liar and you are right about everything. thank god someone like you came along and exposed me for the snake i am.

do you EVER say anything worth while? of any relevance or meaning or importance or sincerity? ever? all you seem to do is waffle around calling people liars and contradicting everything i might say, but you never seem to have a reason to do so, or a point of your own.

i keep trying to sincerely talk to you and tell you about what i've been through and all you do is twist my words and when you can no longer do that you just call me delusional or a liar. that is weak...and tiresome. get a new line. get a point.

the fact is that you know absolutely nothing about what has happened to me, and that's because you have absolutely no interest in knowing. if you did, you would ask sincere questions instead of assuming you know everything already and closemindedly hurling insults. you believe what you want to believe snake...nobody's stopping you. you're a fool who makes up his mind arbitrarily. you pick and choose what you want to believe and then shut your eyes and put your hands over your ears and loudly repeat, "i can't hear you! i can't hear you! you're a liar! you're a liar!" over and over like an idiot child. You can wish me to be a liar all you want, but that sure as hell doesn't make it so. Best wishes asshole.

I am pleased you are chosen Lori_7.

Keep asking Him for more. God loves an asker.

Micah 6

8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

God bless you

c20

so which is it anyway, just out of sheer curiosity? am i a severely delusional nutcase, to the degree in which i should be locked up, or at the very least extremely medicated, as i have dreamed this whole thing up in my twisted, demented mind? or am i an extremely crafty, to the point of sheer genius, and ill-intentioned liar, who has masterminded this vast conspiracy in corroboration with said rock star for publicity's sake and to make millions (evil laugh)!? oh silly me, i forgot...you don't have an arguement or a case to support either claim, as it doesn't really matter which one it is, as long as it is one or the other, and you don't have to admit that you could possibly be wrong about anything. nevermind.

I am pleased you are chosen Lori_7.

Keep asking Him for more. God loves an asker.

Micah 6

8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

God bless you

c20

you're so awesome...not just some trite expression, but truly awe inspiring. thank you for helping me...you always do. love you...lori.

do you EVER say anything worth while?

Sure. However, I generally find 'patients' don't consider anything one might say as "worthwhile".

There was a guy I saw who thought he was related to the queen. He also thought he was white, when he was actually a coloured man. When I asked him what he thought of other people claiming he was actually coloured, he would state their comments as "worthless" and wrong.

When you are in 'your position', anything that goes against that can undoubtedly be labelled as worthless. If I said something that agreed 100% with what you believe and feel, we both know you would never have said what you just have, instead you would see EVERY word of mine as "worthwhile". It is merely because I disagree with you, that you state otherwise.

of any relevance or meaning or importance or sincerity?

I am generally sincere, and if not most will know, I always try to stay relevant to the comments made to me by others, and importance is a completely subjective thing. Much that "jesus" is not important to me, making your claims inherently "worthless", what I say to you would come across as being the same, and lead to the same conclusion in your mind.

The only plausible way in which we could continue is by providing evidence, and finding a position to which we both agree.

all you seem to do is waffle around calling people liars and contradicting everything i might say

Let it be know, that this is probably the first time I have ever called anyone a 'liar' on this forum. Of course, this is memory dependant and can be faulty - but I give you the opportunity to disprove that by showing that "all I seem to do" is call people liars. Spend some time going through threads I have posted in, (the easy way is to click my name and click on threads I have posted in). Kindly accept the challenge and show that all I do is call people liars, or if you can't, feel free to apologise for the malicious and faulty accusation.

As for contradicting what you say.. That is what you do, not I.

i keep trying to sincerely talk to you and tell you about what i've been through and all you do is twist my words and when you can no longer do that you just call me delusional or a liar. that is weak...and tiresome. get a new line. get a point.

Am I not talking to you sincerely? As for your other comments, I have given you the opportunity to support your claims, so back them up.

Further to which, I fail to see the problem. Are we not open to saying whatever we want? You told me you say it how you see it, and the same would be acceptable for me in that case. You called me an ass, an idiot, a moron, and a lazy bastard, all because that's how you see it. As such, is it not my absolute right to call you whatever I feel, based upon how I see it?

the fact is that you know absolutely nothing about what has happened to me

You see how people have this habit of using the word "fact" where it clearly does not belong? You spent post upon post telling me what has happened to you, and as such I do know. As a result, the word "fact" is in a place it doesn't belong.

and that's because you have absolutely no interest in knowing. if you did, you would ask sincere questions instead of assuming you know everything already and closemindedly hurling insults.

f course I have interest, so much so that I have even asked you to paste a link to these discussions you had with your rock star. You keep ignoring that while claiming I have no interest. It seems you have no interest in letting me learn about what's "happened", and yet try and blame that on me.

As for "closemindedly hurling insults": Need I bring up "ass, idiot, moron, lazy bastard"? This is hypcorisy, Lori.

you believe what you want to believe snake..

How many times? How many times must I repeat myself for your benefit? I 'believe' that which the evidence shows and supports. That's it.

you're a fool who makes up his mind arbitrarily.

No, I'm a "fool" who makes up his mind with absolute consideration to the evidence that is presented.

you pick and choose what you want to believe and then shut your eyes and put your hands over your ears and loudly repeat, "i can't hear you! i can't hear you! you're a liar! you're a liar!" over and over like an idiot child.

I have done that.. where exactly? I dare you to quote and point out the thread.

You can wish me to be a liar all you want, but that sure as hell doesn't make it so.

Oh, so we now turn to the "supernatural". As we've come now to 'wishes', let me tell you, I have more reason to wish you'd paste a link and provide some evidence than to wish you were anything. What you 'are' is meaningless to me - but that too relies on the evidence that is presented.

Best wishes asshole.

Very cheerful. Time of the month?

so which is it anyway, just out of sheer curiosity? am i a severely delusional nutcase, to the degree in which i should be locked up, or at the very least extremely medicated, as i have dreamed this whole thing up in my twisted, demented mind?

While there are most certainly some serious issues that need attending to, and I would - without a doubt - recommend you speak to someone, I would not strap you in a straight jacket just yet.

or am i an extremely crafty, to the point of sheer genius, and ill-intentioned liar, who has masterminded this vast conspiracy in corroboration with said rock star for publicity's sake and to make millions (evil laugh)!?

If you seek a professional opinion, I would have to say no to the above.

oh silly me, i forgot...you don't have an arguement or a case to support either claim, as it doesn't really matter which one it is,

And so finally, after all this time, you concur entirely with my whole argument. Here you demand that I have something with which to support claims, (i.e evidence), and yet, even though I've stated it a million times, you completely ignore it when I say it.

Remember when I said "evidence is a must for every human"? Here you prove my point, and show that you arguing that I don't have a point is wrong.

Would I now not be justified in saying "you don't have an arguement or a case to support either claim, as it doesn't really matter which one it is", when blithering on with your jesus speeches?

as long as it is one or the other, and you don't have to admit that you could possibly be wrong about anything.

I could be wrong about everything. But a dozen times I have offered you the chance to present evidence. You have failed, ignored and passed up every single one of these opportunities - and yet in your last quote, we see you agreeing to the importance of evidence.

nevermind.

Indeed.

Snake,

The forums archives are on a link on the bottom of the main page. I would rather suggest though...if you wish...to do a search on my old member profile Lori. You will see that I am not openly corroborating with anyone regarding anything. That doesn't prove anything though. In the end...any correspondence that we could have had...at the very least since the miracle happened...has it been eight months now?...would have been documented somehow. There are witnesses...phone records...postal records...computer files...people who know us...are really close to us who know. I mean, he can't scratch his ass without someone taking a pic of it and putting it on the internet so. And I surely don't live in a vacuum...the people who know me will testify to my character...my whereabouts...my state of mind. But don't worry, you will be able to assume all of them to be crazy liars as well.

I wonder why it is that you want me to be lying so much. I wonder why you assume this and are so close-minded. I wonder what purpose you propose that I have for lying...for making all of this up. I wonder if you even really believe what you yourself says at times.

And I wonder...can you please tell me...what evidence could there be of a spiritual relationship with God through Christ? I mean, I can witness to you...I can give you my testimony, which I have much...I can tell you about conversations that we've had...things that he's taught me. But you just call me insane, or a liar. So I don't understand what type of evidence you are looking for. Do you want a lock of his hair? His head on a platter maybe would be more to your taste? It's a spiritual phenomenon...a spiritual relationship...not a physical one. The only physical evidence is the fruit of the spirit. You can see it in my life. My family and friends have witnessed it...the changes in me. But you can say that I made the changes myself, and of my own will and knowledge with no help from God. That's why I keep telling you that I can't do this for you...I can't provide you with evidence. That is something that you have to acquire yourself...personally...from God. And please don't come back at me as if you can't understand what I'm saying...I'm exhausted from your circular rhetoric...certainly you can understand what I am saying if you are an educated man as you claim. The only way for you to have evidence of a personal spiritual relationship with God is to have one with Him yourself. Certainly you can see how this makes sense right? This isn't rocket science...so please...have mercy.

If one day you see that my rock star comes for me...validates what I've said. If there are witnesses...investigations and the like to support our claim. Would you change your mind? Would you at least open it a crack?

Listen, I'm sorry that I've called you names...become frustrated with you and spoken harshly to you. I'm no Jesus...that is clear...but that is no excuse. I wish that I was a stronger person still...a nicer person...a smarter person...and quieter...much quieter. I really can't stand myself most times.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing...if anything at all besides just waiting. I've felt this way since the moment he kissed me. And I've been running around furiously doing all of these things that seem so stupid and futile to me afterwards. I've never felt so inept and lost and out of control. Which is appropriate, because God has control of me...which is exactly what I want, and what I've asked for and received. So I feel and have felt like a puppet in this "rock star miracle show". I don't understand much at all...I don't have many or most of the answers. Just when I think I've got some piece of it figured out the scenery changes...act II...act III...act VII. So, I don't know why I'm out here talking to you...you don't believe me...no one believes me. Again...seemingly futile.

God spoke to my friend and told her to tell me to watch this movie called Labyrinth a couple of weeks ago. Have you ever seen it? David Bowie is in it...which is cool...love him. He plays a wicked king of some land. The girl in the story is a spoiled little brat like me and she complains of having to babysit her little brother so she casts a spell that she reads in some book that asks for the wicked king to come and take him, and much to her dismay, her spell works. So she sets out to rescue him, but in order to get him back, she has to make her way through a labyrinth that leads to the king's castle. In the labyrinth "nothing is as it seems". She is continually frustrated because she can't solve it, and everything she does gets her nowhere...back to the beginning maybe. The labyrinth doesn't play by her rules and she is constantly whining about it not being fair...which so reminds me of myself. But she meets a bunch of muppets along the way...which is cool cause muppets are cool...and they all become friends and they help her to find her way to the kings castle and their lives end up changed for the better because of their new friendship and their victory over the evil king. So this is God telling me that I'm not supposed to know or understand what is going on. That nothing is what it seems to me. I'm not supposed to understand what to do...what I'm supposed to do is just trust Him and let Him control things...and He will see to it that the puzzle is solved so to speak...He will take care of getting me to where I need to be...and seeing to it that the things that need to be done are done. I know that there is a reason for the things that I do and have done...but I have no idea really what the reason is...which is hard...on my flesh. I'm a former control freak. In the past five years He's taught me to let go of everything...to give everything to Him...and so I have. But it's weird...I feel my flesh wanting to fight for control...whine...shit, have a fit...and I have to knock it back down...ask Him for help. He always helps me. My best guess is that all of the people around me have witnessed me running about and doing...things...odd things I suppose. I am witnessing to them that something has indeed happened to me...and perhaps in the end they will witness to others about what they've seen in me.

Anyway...I'm rambling...but hell...why not? It passes the time. I'm sorry that I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm sorry that I can't provide you with evidence. I'm sorry that I've gotten frustrated with you and taken it out on you...it's not your fault...it's mine.

SnakeLord, from what Lori said, she's not lying, maybe delusional. Really, to go to all this trouble posting a story on a message board with no monetary gain, while knowing the story a lie, is unlikely. But no reason to discount the supernatural, including evil.

Lori, what it comes down to, I think, is that you should investigate everything with a trained doctor, and reject anything supernatural that makes you afraid or deteriorates your condition.

SnakeLord, from what Lori said, she's not lying, maybe delusional. Really, to go to all this trouble posting a story on a message board with no monetary gain, while knowing the story a lie, is unlikely. But no reason to discount the supernatural, including evil.

Lori, what it comes down to, I think, is that you should investigate everything with a trained doctor, and reject anything supernatural that makes you afraid or deteriorates your condition.


Well thank the Lord for someone with a point! How refreshing.

My parents asked me to go in for an MRI of my head shortly after this first happened. They wanted to make sure that I didn't have a brain tumor or something...after I had told them most of the details of the event...and of what God had told me...shown me. They wanted to investigate a medical or biological problem rather than a mental one because my state of mind and my mentality seemed/seems just fine...actually never better. Aside from them not being about to believe what I was saying to them regarding this spiritual occurrence. The fruit of the spirit is good...and they have not been able to deny that. Because of what has happened to me, I am healthier and happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been in my entire life, and they can see that...it is obvious. While at the very same time, this event resulted in me quitting every addiction that I had cold turkey with no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever...that in itself being a miracle. Especially when it came to the nicotine...a 22 year, pack a day addict...severe addict. Not to mention the caffeine, alcohol, and marijuana. I would not have considered myself an alcoholic per se, but someone who was emotionally addicted to an altered state of mind...in whatever form I could get it bar having to shoot something into my veins. Pot being my drug of choice...a 21 year pot head...baked pretty much from sun up to sun down, aside from the days that I spent in an office being an accountant/financial analyst...coudn't do that high...but could do damn near everything else high. My father wanted to follow up with a visit to a psychologist when we found that there was nothing wrong with my head. They had already spent about 2K on the mri so I asked him if he would consider holding off on the shrink...the thought of talking to one was just so...so....blahhhhhhhhhhh. Everyone has been anxiously awaiting my "breakdown" see...awaiting the time when it sinks in that my rock star really isn't coming to get me, and that somehow this is all a lie, or my imagination or whatever, and I lose it and dive deep into a state of depression. That this is a manic behaviour that I'm exhibiting and that I'm sure to at some point hit a low. So with that in mind, I asked my dad to consider saving the shrink for this "low" that I'm supposed to hit, and he agreed. He agreed that it seemed silly to send me to a psychologist for being happier and healthier and less self-destructive than I've ever been in my life. Hey...the fruit never tells a lie. And as fruity as I may seem to be...this fruit is good, not rotten. Yum, yum.

I'm a little curious, if not completely skeptical;
Why is the Almighty hooking up suburban non-starving minor problem middle-aged girl with rock star, while His believers perish day and night, from lack of food, clean water, or from the Muslim's sword?
I see very little justice in what God is doing here, Lori_7, and God is either not as you claim, but an injust fuck, or you're delsuional.
Hell, where's God for the kids with cancer?
Where's God for those without homes?

I hate the idea of an unjust God.

Did you ever think this may be the Devil's work?

I'm a little curious, if not completely skeptical;
Why is the Almighty hooking up suburban non-starving minor problem middle-aged girl with rock star, while His believers perish day and night, from lack of food, clean water, or from the Muslim's sword?
I see very little justice in what God is doing here, Lori_7, and God is either not as you claim, but an injust fuck, or you're delsuional.
Hell, where's God for the kids with cancer?
Where's God for those without homes?

I hate the idea of an unjust God.

Did you ever think this may be the Devil's work?

No, I know His voice, and I have heard the voice of the other side as well. He is there Roman, for everyone. What is happening to me is to reveal the prophecy of the Book of Revelation. Prophecy regarding the mark of the beast. The rock star that I've been talking about was afflicted with this mark...has lived with it for 7 years...and was healed of it. THAT is the miracle of which I speak...anything and everything else is just part of it. The rock star has been revealed to me to be John reincarnated. John, who wrote the Book of Revelation. He has sufferred the mark...he knows how it is perpetuated...he knows the end times deception of the antichrist and the false prophet. He has lived through it, and will now prophesy about what he has lived through to warn and save many from the same deception. Let me give you some scripture...

This is Revelation ch10 The Angel and the Little Scroll

Then I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven. He was robed in a cloud, with a rainbow above his head; his face was like the sun, and his legs were like fiery pillars. He was holding a little scroll, which lay open in his hand. He planted his right foot on the sea and his left foot on the land, and he gave a loud shout like the roar of a lion, When he shouted, the voices of the seven thunders spoke. And when the seven thunders spoke, I was about to write; but I heard a voice from heaven say, "Seal up what the seven thunders have said and do not write it down."

Then the angel I had seen standing on the sea and on the land raised his right hand to heaven. And he swore by him who lives for ever and ever, who created the heavens and all that is in them, the earth and all that is in it, and the sea and all that is in it, and said, "There will be no more delay! But in the days when the seventh angel is about to sound his trumpet, the mystery of God will be accomplished, just as he announced to his servants the prophets."

Then the voice that I had heard from heaven spoke to me once more: "Go, take the scroll that lies open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land."

So I went to the angel and asked him to give me the little scroll. He said to me, "Take it and eat it. It will turn your stomach sour, but in your mouth it will be as sweet as honey." I took the little scroll from the angels hand and ate it. It tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach turned sour. Then I was told, "You must prophesy again about many people's, nations, languages and kings."

*****

Ok, this was written by John and about what he experienced while "in the spirit". And my question is when? When was he to prophesy again about many people's, nations, languages, and kings? The answer is at the time of the end...at the time when it is relevant and happening...or about to happen...when the angel is about to sound the trumpet. The prophecy was sealed as you read in the first paragraph, when he was told to not write down what the 7 thunders spoke to him. The second paragraph tells when it will be told. The third paragraph tells the way in which it will be revealed. The fourth paragraph tell by whom...that is John himself. The prophecy is about the mark of the beast. Eating the scroll is indicative of taking the mark. The mark is obtained just as the fall of man in the garden...by eating a fruit. This fruit is a carnivorous one...like a venus flytrap is carnivorous. The mark is a genetic alteration that ensues...by the blood...through the blood. It makes the flesh immortal, while it kills the spirit. As the fall of man was a genetic change that placed a veil between man and God with the sin that was instilled into our flesh...the mark is the final nail in the coffin...separating us from Him completely. Sweet in the mouth and sour in the stomach denotes the deception. It is presented by a false saviour, as a false salvation...a false rebirth...a false eternal life. It is false because it is a rebirth of the flesh, not of the spirit as Jesus taught...and it is a torturous eternal life of the flesh, not of the spirit as Jesus taught.

Later in Revelations, when God's wrath is being poured out onto the earth, it says that men shall seek death in those days but will not find it. And that is why...because of the mark, their flesh can not die. The only way that they will cease to exist is to be burned by fire...to disintegrate.

This is happening to me so that people will know that God's hand is on us...and that this is truly the Holy Spirit of God that is revealing this prophecy through us. And so that when the time comes that this mark is offerred and the deception is offerred, that people will know the truth, because we have prophesied this to be true, and the mark will be rejected by those who believe, and they will be saved. Many, many will be saved.

This man...what better a man to prophesy these things...being in the position that he is...world renown. Millions looking at him and anticipating his answer. They want to know...what is with him? What is it about him? They know it's something, but not what. Soon everyone will know. God is there for everyone...every one of us. You can be sure of that. You will see. Soon.

My father wanted to follow up with a visit to a psychologist when we found that there was nothing wrong with my head. They had already spent about 2K on the mri so I asked him if he would consider holding off on the shrink...the thought of talking to one was just so...so....blahhhhhhhhhhh.

2K is a lot, especially if you don't have health insurance or it's not covered. The mri, I don't think, rules out a brain tumor--sometimes they go without detection if they're in their early stages. You should trust God, but there's no need to unquestioningly believe everything you see and hear.

You should trust God, but there's no need to unquestioningly believe everything you see and hear.

According to the Bible:

Hebrews 1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.
3By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.


The last thing I heard, doubting Thomas was rebuked by Jesus: "Do not be unbelieving, but believing." and ""Thomas,[4] because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I tell you what Lori..

I know a way we can clear this matter up instantly. Why don't you tell me the name of this rock star?

The prophecy is about the mark of the beast. Eating the scroll is indicative of taking the mark. The mark is obtained just as the fall of man in the garden...by eating a fruit. This fruit is a carnivorous one...like a venus flytrap is carnivorous. The mark is a genetic alteration that ensues...by the blood...through the blood. It makes the flesh immortal, while it kills the spirit. As the fall of man was a genetic change that placed a veil between man and God with the sin that was instilled into our flesh...the mark is the final nail in the coffin...separating us from Him completely. Sweet in the mouth and sour in the stomach denotes the deception. It is presented by a false saviour, as a false salvation...a false rebirth...a false eternal life. It is false because it is a rebirth of the flesh, not of the spirit as Jesus taught...and it is a torturous eternal life of the flesh, not of the spirit as Jesus taught.


Hiya Lori,

I have been reading and wondering about this post and was hoping you could answer a question regarding it.

If the above quote is true then how would the following fit in with it?

Revelation 13:17
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

I'd much appreciate your thoughts on this, maybe I have misunderstood something.

Thanks

Dave

Well Lori? Feel like backing out?

Hi Lori7,

An observation only, and with sincere respect. I have been surfing these boards for about 7 years and have always appreciated your passion and commitment to your faith in debates and commentary. Your stories regarding the end-times and aliens etc. have always been interesting, but I detect a trend in that your experiences have become steadily more outrageous. I am not doubting the veracity of your experience, but in light of the potential unhappiness these events create for you, were I in your shoes I would seek a consultation with a councillor. There are plenty of "Christian" psychologists in practice, who would be great to have a chat with. What have you got to lose?

Allcare.

Yes/no?

Yes/no?

Sorry Snakeypoo, I haven't visited this thread in a while. You know, I would loooooooooooooooove to scream his name and everything I know about him from the rooftops...you have no idea. But I don't feel like it's the right thing to do, and I haven't since this whole thing began. As I said before, my friends, co-workers, and family know who he is...his name, and the band that he's in. But here's the thing...if I come out here in a public forum, and tell my story about what's happened to me...about this miracle...and I name him. Then when it's all said and done, and we're finally together...testifying to this "miracle"...people could say that it was corroborated....fabricated it between the two of us. And this is why...

Say if I came out here to exosci or any other public place on the net, and told my crazy story and named this man. People could say that he "by chance" came out here himself and read what I posted and decided to go along with it. So he corroborates my story, gets himself some crazy Jesus freak for a wife, and some free publicity for the band. With everything that both of us have been through, it still wouldn't wash. There are too many witnesses...too many circumstances. This has been going on in our lives for years...separately. Shit, he apparently was my "imaginary" friend when I was a little girl, and before he was born. I know it sounds nuts! :eek: But still...people will be desperately searching for a way to discredit us, and I don't want to give anyone any help.

There's another aspect too you know. I don't have a right to blab his name all over the net or to anyone really. My friends and family are one thing, but a public forum, or someone that I don't know is another. He has a voice...trust me...a real nice one. He has millions of fans listening...quite an audience. When he's ready to spill the beans, he will. It's not my place to do it for him. Right now, he's writing all of this down...what has transpired since this all began. He's writing it down in the form of song lyrics. This album that they are currently putting together will be all about what has happened.

See, that's the whole point of this time spent apart since the miracle took place. I'm here in east bf ohio blabbing my story and mostly in explanation of the changes that have occurred in me and in my life because of it. And he's about 3000 miles away in Cali telling his story in his own way, and in relation to the great change in him as well...yippee for change! I'm so happy for him. And anyway, in the end, our stories are one and the same.

So does that make sense? I'm just trying to do what's right by God and by him. I don't want to screw any of this up you know? I just don't feel like telling his name in this way is the right thing to do. I hope you understand. When all of this does come out and you find out who he is...you'll understand. You'll understand me, and what I've been talking about out here. It won't be long now...I can feel him getting closer...feels good.

I'm really sorry that I won't tell you his name. I'm not trying to be...whatever you may think I'm trying to be...secretive or mysterious or elusive. I'm just trying to do the right thing. This is the most important thing by far that's ever happened to me besides meeting Jesus, and it means everything to me. Not for my sake, but for everyone else's. This is happening as a witness to people...it's important.

Hey, do you remember when you asked me about what music I liked and what my fave band was? Well you never replied back about why you asked me that or what it told you about me. Oh, and I forgot the red hot chili peppers too, and how could I forget them?

And you know how you also asked me to close my eyes and tell you what I saw? Well, I did, and you didn't reply as to what that told you about me either and why. And there was something odd...well, I thought was odd anyway...about what I saw that I didn't mention to you. Probably because it kind of confused me...didn't know what to say about it exactly. But, there was no sky. When I looked up, I could see the trees above me...a canopy kind of...but I couldn't see past them. It was as if my mind's eye was being blocked somehow...I'm not sure. But there was no sun, no moon, no clouds, no stars...no nothing. And there was no light source. I noticed that when I looked around I could see everything just fine...there was no dark...no shadows either. And it wasn't the lights in the trees that were illuminating everything...as there were litte white lights in the trees....maybe fireflies...don't know. I realized that everything had it's own light source inside it. That everything was illuminated in and of itself. Not like there was a "glow" or a shine coming through....it wasn't bright necessarily or glistening. It was subdued and it was a part of the object like on the molecular level...like it was evenly spread out to every little bit of the object...down to it's tiniest particle, and appropriate only to make itself visible, but not to illuminate anything else. Weird huh? I thought it was weird and worth mentioning. *shrug*

Love,

Lori

Hiya Lori,

I have been reading and wondering about this post and was hoping you could answer a question regarding it.

If the above quote is true then how would the following fit in with it?

Revelation 13:17
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

I'd much appreciate your thoughts on this, maybe I have misunderstood something.

Thanks

Dave

Hi Dave,

There will be a new government..global economy under the control of the antichrist. If you don't take the mark, you can't buy or sell. Those who do not take the mark will definately be rejected and persecuted. Those close-minded holier than thou stupid Christians will be hated. Those with the mark will be changed...changed genetically and for the worse...killed spiritually...and cut off from God completely. Those who refuse the mark will be made into martyrs. They'll be killed...which is worse than not being able to buy or to sell huh? Well, possibly a function of it as you have to buy or sell to live.

Love,

Lori

Hi Lori7,

An observation only, and with sincere respect. I have been surfing these boards for about 7 years and have always appreciated your passion and commitment to your faith in debates and commentary. Your stories regarding the end-times and aliens etc. have always been interesting, but I detect a trend in that your experiences have become steadily more outrageous. I am not doubting the veracity of your experience, but in light of the potential unhappiness these events create for you, were I in your shoes I would seek a consultation with a councillor. There are plenty of "Christian" psychologists in practice, who would be great to have a chat with. What have you got to lose?

Allcare.

Yea, Stretched...I remember your name. It's been a long time huh? Hey man, outrageous isn't even the word for it...what has happened to me is soooo over the top...I know. I'm just being honest. I know it's hard to believe...I know it's outrageous sounding, but it's true, I swear to you, I'm telling the truth. And it's all good. Dude, please don't listen to me whining about Halloween. I should know better than to try to figure out God's plan and predict His will. His plan and His timing is perfect and my pea-brain is not. And so yea, I set myself up for a disappointment, but wah, wah, and I got over it. He soooooooo helped me to get over it, and right away too. He's so good to me. I'm not unhappy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am exactly where I want to be. I want this happening in my life, no matter how challenging it may be for me...I want this more than anything. It's the reason that I am alive. I am so thankful to be used by Him in this way...so grateful and amazed to see Him work like this in my life! Ever since this happened, I have felt that I am the most blessed woman on the face of this earth! Yea, this is a challenge for my flesh, but so what? "F" my flesh, that's what I say, and bring on the Holy Spirit! Because of my flesh, my emotions can be fickle, but God's spirit in me is steadfast and true and gives me peace and joy that is constant and forever. This is making me stronger. This is making me "grow up". I need to grow up and keep focused on what is important...which is not necessarily me and what I want and when I want it.

Hey, thanks a lot for caring...seriously. Your sentiment is very nice, and I appreciate it very much. *mwah*

Love,

Lori

Yo Lori7,

Cool Lori, good for you. You go girl!

Allcare.

Hi Dave,

There will be a new government..global economy under the control of the antichrist. If you don't take the mark, you can't buy or sell. Those who do not take the mark will definately be rejected and persecuted.

Hiya Lori,

Yes, this does look like how the mark will be ushered in but I was more interested in the logistical side of things based on your fruit theory. How can you be limited to buying and selling if you don't eat this fruit?

A micro chip implant will certainly happen at some stage, does this tie in with what you said somehow?

Thanks

Dave

Hiya Lori,

Yes, this does look like how the mark will be ushered in but I was more interested in the logistical side of things based on your fruit theory. How can you be limited to buying and selling if you don't eat this fruit?

A micro chip implant will certainly happen at some stage, does this tie in with what you said somehow?

Thanks

Dave

A micro chip? I don't know...I do know that the chip itself is certainly NOT the mark...the mark is definitely a genetic alteration that is achieved through the blood. I don't understand the fruit entirely, but somehow it is involved, or at least was with this man...this rock star. From what he describes, the fruit is carnivorous, like a venus flytrap is. After it's consumed, what he describes kind of sounds like a process of transfusion, that the fruit somehow assists. *shrug* I don't understand it entirely, but I know that there was something inside of him...eating away at his insides...making him very sick...killing him. And I know that there was a lot of bleeding going on. I also gather that there was another aspect to the process that involved the aliens, and something that they did to him...some kind of renewal. So the fruit assisted in getting rid of, or consuming the old, and the aliens assisted in replacing it with new....like a transfusion of blood. Keep in mind, this information is derived for the most part from song lyrics, so I don't understand all there is to know, or have the details entirely, but it's the best I can do right now to explain.

I would imagine that it may be made obvious somehow, who has taken the mark and who hasn't...whether that be achieved through an id implant, or a tatoo, or something else. It may even be obvious in some physical way that one has taken it, I'm not sure. You would never be able to tell that this rock star had anything "wrong" with him by looking...he has always looked...um...normal. Actually, he's always looked damn good. But you know, people look from a distance, and there may be something indicative that people just aren't looking for or don't recognize.

If the antichrist controls the global economy and the government, you could easily be denied purchase or sale rights to any and everything based upon whether or not you have taken the mark...a simple "no, you can't do business here" would suffice wouldn't it? Kind of like the way blacks were treated in the US not too long ago...if you were black, you weren't allowed to eat in a white only restaurant.

There are probably a million or so relevant factors that I'm not thinking of, just because we're so far removed from it at this point, and it's hard to speculate how it will all go down specifically. But I do know that the mark itself is not the implanted chip. A chip could be used to indicate that the genetic alteration has taken place. But it is the genetic change that constitutes a denial of Christ, and results in spiritual death.

Love,

Lori

But here's the thing...if I come out here in a public forum, and tell my story about what's happened to me...about this miracle...and I name him. Then when it's all said and done, and we're finally together...testifying to this "miracle"...people could say that it was corroborated....fabricated it between the two of us. And this is why...

I guess people could and would say it was corroborated regardless, or find some other reason to deny your claims. I fail to see any real problems.. You talk about this rock star a lot, mention what his songs are about and so forth, and I would just consider it a more solid base with which to approach the issue.

Say if I came out here to exosci or any other public place on the net, and told my crazy story and named this man. People could say that he "by chance" came out here himself and read what I posted and decided to go along with it. So he corroborates my story, gets himself some crazy Jesus freak for a wife, and some free publicity for the band. With everything that both of us have been through, it still wouldn't wash. There are too many witnesses...too many circumstances.

With too many witnesses and too many circumstances, it then shouldn't be a problem naming him, regardless to what a few die-hard skeptics would say.



It wouldn't change anything. Look at all the fanatic nutbags that still try to argue against evolution.

[quote]I'm really sorry that I won't tell you his name.

You can do as you please, it isn't anything I can't handle. I would just view it as a step in the right direction.

Hey, do you remember when you asked me about what music I liked and what my fave band was? Well you never replied back about why you asked me that or what it told you about me. Oh, and I forgot the red hot chili peppers too, and how could I forget them?

Was just curious. Music taste says a lot about people.

And you know how you also asked me to close my eyes and tell you what I saw? Well, I did, and you didn't reply as to what that told you about me either and why.

Again, I was just curious. :D I can go into an explanation if you really want me to, but it would mean finding the old post.

Snake,

Yea, you know, I'm not really even sure if my logic is working on this one or not...there is so much to consider...so many circumstances and information...and I've been through so much because of this...so much change. To be quite honest with you, my head is still spinning. Maybe even more now since I've "come down" than before...trying to sort it all out mentally is a challenge to me...and honestly, I'm quite exhausted from it all. I don't even really feel like attempting to anymore...not by myself anyway...I need help doing it...I need my rock star. He is the ONLY one who can help me...I need him like I've never needed anything before in my entire life...and that is so strange to me. Strange and wonderful.

What I can say for sure is that I know that whatever I do or say, I'm not able, as a human being to thwart God's plan or purpose...so it's not like I even need be concerned about "screwing it up" as I said before. It's just that I have felt all along that blabbing his name out here was not the right thing to do. It's not like I've gotten clear cut instructions from God regarding this either...it's just an impression that I've gotten. I'm just not comfortable with it.

Besides, the people that I have told...friends and family....they still don't get it. Even though I can explain his lyrics and things that he says in interviews, and other observable things about him, they still don't believe me. Only because they don't want to believe me. They say that he's just being artistic and metaphorical and eccentric, when actually I know that he's being fairly straight forward and literal, and simply coping with his condition to the best of his ability...which his ability is stellar by the way. When I try to explain things to my friends and family, they use the word coincedence soooooooooooooooo much that it's insane. And I point it out to them, like, "Do you realize that during this fifteen minute conversation we've had, that you've used the word 'coincedence' ten times?" And they still cling to that word as if it is their lifeline or something. I can't even stand hearing the word anymore, and now refer to it as "the c word". They just don't want to see the truth about this...it's too over the top...it's too meaningful....it's too consequential....and it's way too spiritual. They don't want to hear about it at all...for the most part they just tune me out. And do you know what's going to piss me off? Is when rock star does show up, they'll all be hanging on to his every last word as if it is the gospel itself...so eager to talk to him about it, and so eager to listen to him explain...someone that they don't even know. While all this time, I've been dying for someone to talk to...for someone to listen to me and believe me...and they haven't given me the time of day...their own daughter, sister, and friend. God's already shown me how much this will hurt my feelings and piss me off, so I'm working on getting over it ahead of time.

Anyway, it'll be over and out there soon enough...when the time is perfect. We'll talk all about it then. I'm sure that you can talk to him about it directly at some point. He's no Belinda Carlisle, but I think that you'll like him and respect him just the same.

Love,

Lori