View Full Version : Top Ten Nationalities...


*stRgrL*
01-21-03, 03:12 PM
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH


When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time

You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs

If there's a war you can surrender really early

You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries

You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street

People think you're a great lover even when you're not


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN


You can have a woman president without electing her

You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

You can call Budweiser beer

You can be a crook and still be president

If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

If you can breathe you can get a gun

You can invent a new public holiday every year

You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. When you're not. At all.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH


Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah

Warm beer

You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

Union jack underpants

Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not

Ditto changing underwear

Beats being Welsh. Or Scottish


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN


In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

Unembarrassed to wear fur.

No need to worry about tax returns

Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.

Can wear sunglasses inside

Political stability

Flexible working hours

Live near the Pope

Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

Country run by Sicilian murderers


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH


Glorious history of killing South American tribes

The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees

You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc

The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans

Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing

Honesty

Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls

You get to eat bulls' testicles

Gibraltar

Supported Argentina in Falklands War.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN


In-built sense of pacifism


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN


Chicken Madras

Lamb Passanda

Onion Bhaji

Bombay Potatoe

Chicken Tikka Masala

Rogan Josh

Popadoms

Chisken Dopiaza

Meat Boona

Kingfisher lager


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH


You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH


Guinness

18 children becuase you can't use contraceptives

You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road

Pubs never close

Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.

No one can ever remember the night before:D

Kill people you don't agree with

Stew

More Guiness

Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN


It beats being an American.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Kill Grizzly bears with huge f#ckoff shotguns and cover your house in their skins

Own-an-eskimo scheme.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN


Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.

Fosters Lager

Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.

Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.

Tact and sensitivity.

Bondi Beach.

Other beaches.

Liberated attitude to homosexuals

Drinking cold lager on the beach

Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

Bachus
01-21-03, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by *stRgrL*
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time


Euh they won the world cup in 1998 ;)

*stRgrL*
01-21-03, 03:39 PM
Oops! Must be an old joke:D

NenarTronian
01-21-03, 03:43 PM
some of them were amusing :D

Thor
01-21-03, 03:51 PM
Woooo, you've got our number!!

Redoubtable
01-21-03, 04:54 PM
Let me Guess . . . you are a very spiteful Canadian

Thor
01-21-03, 05:03 PM
If that was to me....no

Born in Germany (very funny one up there tho, pacifism!!) and an British Citizen, wooyeah

The English are so crazy!! Oh no, ice on the road, slow down to two miles an hour!! I run faster on ice than they drive!!

That's my grumble

Empty Dragon
01-21-03, 06:15 PM
My car frooze today...it is -39 C with wind chill. Welcome to Canada!!!! Well Manitoba anyways.

Tyler
01-21-03, 06:41 PM
Ay, great Canadian we're having as of late, eh? Toronto, a relatively warm Canadian city, featured -30 weather recently!! Yay!!

static76
01-21-03, 07:19 PM
Originally posted by Tyler
Ay, great Canadian we're having as of late, eh? Toronto, a relatively warm Canadian city, featured -30 weather recently!! Yay!!
I feel your pain, it was freezing out here in LA also. It was a cold 70 degrees today.:D

*puts on jacket and turns the heater to high*

Vertigoll
01-21-03, 08:13 PM
Eh? What was that eh?
Ooh, say can you seeeeeeeeeee.

Bottom line, the United States of America is the shit!!
Go AMERICA! GO USA!