ok in 1 month i will be a father for the first time, and was wondering what things to expect along the way, starting from newborn to terrible twos all the way up to teenage children.

we are both young parents, (i will be the cool one) is there anything shocking that i should be expecting?. what should i prepare myself for first of all?, in terms of punishment based on different peoples experience what works best?. i dont like the idea of shouting at children it seem useless to me, i have no problem hitting my child though, i think alot of children could do with a slap now and again to keep them in line, but shouting and getting all huffy is not in my nature.

at what age should children learn language, maths, science etc?. i was thinking of teaching her as early as possible, but at what age can children actualy comprehend subjects? 2-3?. obviously they can learn to count and talk from age 1+ (i hope), but when does a childs brain start to grasp semi-complex sources of information?.

music?, is letting your little child listen to rap music bad?, i spoke to my wife about this and we have different opinions. i think it is ok if you explain it to them properly, it is poetry based on the real streets that we live in. and i listen to alot of rap music so she will obviously hear it when i play it.

any helpfull tips on any parenting subjects are welcome. thanks for the feedback.


peace.

Congratulations. It is a pretty incredible experience.

My daughter is 19 months, so I won't try and give you any advice past that age but the early months are still fresh in my memory. The biggest thing you'll need to face is a serious lack of sleep, especially if you and your wife are not people who can adjust well to being woken every couple hours. On the positive side, someone I work with told me before we had Sarah that I'd experience depths of love that I didn't know I could feel and I think that's true--be prepared for a very intense emotional experience for you and probably even moreso for your wife.

I wouldn't worry too much about punishment yet. I have yet to have to punish Sarah except to raise my voice or change my tone so she knows I'm serious about something (e.g., no playing with plastic bags). I think it's also important not to punish out of anger but only because you want to do what's best for the child (i.e., teaching her not to play with plastic bags).

As for learning, from my experience and what I've read the important thing is that all children are different. You can look at a book that will tell you what developmental milestones to expect but when it comes down to cases you need to react to the child as an individual. Sarah, for example, has had significant delays in motor skills (she still can't stand or walk and can only crawl a few inches at a time) but seems fine in terms of language and cognitive abilities. However, what means is that we focus much of our energies on her physical development, which I never expected. She gets physical therapy twice a week, daily massage and exercises, etc.

Also, I wouldn't expect counting or much in the speech at 1 year (Sarah had about 10 words at that age, which is pretty good). While I certainly think formal learning has it place, I think it's also important at a young age to make learning part of play to make the child both happy and creative.

As for music, I think any music is good. I know there's some research showing that classical music improves brain development but I'd argue there may be other benefits to other types of music. We've played all kinds of music for Sarah and she seems to like jazz the best (more mainstream stuff, a Herbie Mann CD I have is her favorite). I want to expose her to a lot and let her develop her own tastes. She also appears to have a pretty good sense of rhythm and will shake a maracha or bell in time with the music if shes likes it.

ok in 1 month i will be a father for the first time, and was wondering what things to expect along the way, starting from newborn to terrible twos all the way up to teenage children.

Expect to say goodbye to your old life. Life will be radically different from now on.

Expect to say goodbye to your old life. Life will be radically different from now on.

i second that........

more practical advice on its way though Mr CHI

Raising your voice is preferable to hitting your child. Resorting to physical violence just shows you have nothing more to offer in the way of problem solving. Your child starts from null and must learn everything, trying to develop a relationship where you can explain things (in a raised voice if necessary) will help your child far more than a smack IMO.

Raising your voice is preferable to hitting your child. Resorting to physical violence just shows you have nothing more to offer in the way of problem solving. Your child starts from null and must learn everything, trying to develop a relationship where you can explain things (in a raised voice if necessary) will help your child far more than a smack IMO.

AGREED!!!
And give them chores early, when they think they are helping and enjoy it. It saves a lot of hassle when they get older and don't want to. They end up doing it because its just how it always has been. (my kids clean house and don't even think twice about it, unlike their friends)

Always treat your child as if he/she was a young adult. Do not try to baby talk to him/her for they learn real fast about languages at a very early age even though you don't think they are, believe me they are.

Teaching them anything is a great idea but don't push them into what you want them to do but rather offer many varieties of things to do to keep their overactive minds at work.

Music is always good but again variety is best to let them hear the many sounds that are abounding everywhere on Earth. Blues, electronic, jazz, folk as well as anything you want to let them enjoy will only add to their development. Limiting what they hear won't encourage them to try out new music whenever they get older.

Reading to them is by far the best thing to do. They hear what you say and copy you and they listen to what is being talked about just read to them at their own levels. Let them choose what they want read to them but try to keep adding new stuff all the time.


Good luck, after all you'll need all of it you can get! ;)

I can't give you any better advice than to start at a young age with the protective indoctrination program: McDonalds is evil, clowns are evil.

I see it as my main task as a parent and I am losing the battle. Because the indoctrination budget of McDonalds far exceeds mine.

I can't give you any better advice than to start at a young age with the protective indoctrination program: McDonalds is evil, clowns are evil.

I see it as my main task as a parent and I am losing the battle. Because the indoctrination budget of McDonalds far exceeds mine.


lol :bravo:

ok in 1 month i will be a father for the first time, and was wondering what things to expect along the way, starting from newborn to terrible twos all the way up to teenage children.


Like Max, I can only give you my advice from up to the age of two (my eldest turns two on Friday).

The first thing you need to prepare for is, as Max pointed out, is the total lack of sleep and the feeling of tiredness, especially in the early months. This will be even worse for your wife as she will have to recover from not only the birth, which is an exhausting experience in itself, but those first horrible weeks of constant feeding and trying to adapt. That was the worst thing for me, having to adapt to this totally new individual who seemed to be awake more than he was asleep and who, even as a newborn, had a very distinct personality and likes and dislikes.

The second thing is patience. You need lots and lots of patience. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed and it becomes easy to react to the child with anger. When it gets to that point, walk away for a little while and get some fresh air. I would put the baby in his cot, close his bedroom door and go and sit outside for 5 to 10 minutes to calm down. Or I'd leave him with his father and take a walk or a drive for an hour or so.

The third thing is the nappies. Be prepared for a ridiculous amount of dirty nappies. It sometimes seems as though whatever you are feeding the comes straight out, even as it is being fed. The first week is awful with the meconium and my god that is nasty stuff. It sticks and is, well, horrible. After that, it usually comes out in a large and sometimes loud 'splat', sometimes it will explode out of the nappy and go everywhere (and I mean everywhere).

Don't bother buying expensive newborn baby clothes. They will either grow out of it in a few weeks or stain it (with either exploding poo or vomit). And yes, children can sometimes throw up a lot. That too goes everywhere. I ended up buying a packet of cloth nappies and used that as mop up cloths. Bibs do not work as the puke can sometimes leave their little bodies with such force as to project itself a metre away.

Expect lots of crying and lack of sleep, along with lots of dirty nappies and puking in those first few weeks. And yes that does sound horrible. But the baby itself makes up for the bad bits. The first 12 weeks tend to be the worst, just keep remembering that it does get better. I suspect by 12 weeks the new parents are just numbed by the previous 12 weeks and have resigned themselves to the fact that sleep is but a vague memory, so if they sleep for 5 hours in one go, you think it is a bonus.:p

is there anything shocking that i should be expecting?
The lack of sleep and the baby poo's.

And the total upheaval a baby brings to your life. As monkey already mentioned, do not expect that your current life will continue after the baby is born. Everything changes. And I mean everything. Nothing will ever be the same again. Priorities change and the relationship you have with your wife and hers with you also changes. The dynamics of 'two' now has to deal with a third. And forget about 'routine' for a long while.

in terms of punishment based on different peoples experience what works best?. i dont like the idea of shouting at children it seem useless to me, i have no problem hitting my child though, i think alot of children could do with a slap now and again to keep them in line, but shouting and getting all huffy is not in my nature.
Forget about discipline in the first year or two. It simply does not work. Hitting a small child does not sit well with me to be honest. Nor does yelling work. All both accomplish is to terrify the child and the object of discipline is to teach them to not do something again or to stop them from doing something. I have yelled at my eldest once. The look of utter terror on his face and the fact that he ran away from me in fear made me feel like a bad parent and it simply didn't work (for him or myself). I found myself thinking and looking at the world from his perspective and lets just say that I don't yell at him anymore. If he is doing something bad, I change my tone of voice and if he does not stop, I will physically remove him from what he was doing and tell him 'no' very firmly and warn him that if he does it again, he goes straight to his room. And if he does do it again, I carry out with the threat. Hitting him won't work. He is too little to understand and frankly, I don't want to instill terror in my children and I do not want him to grow up thinking it is 'ok' to hit or to resort to violence. Now that he is two, I find myself more able to deal with his tantrums and his misbehaving by actually talking to him. I've found that works much better and if he does keep doing it, then he goes to his room and he so far, seems to not repeat the bad behaviour.

at what age should children learn language, maths, science etc?. i was thinking of teaching her as early as possible, but at what age can children actualy comprehend subjects? 2-3?. obviously they can learn to count and talk from age 1+ (i hope), but when does a childs brain start to grasp semi-complex sources of information?.
When they are ready. You cannot force the child to do anything he/she does not want to do. Your baby will learn language when she is ready to. Maths and science, I'd wait until she could actually speak. We tend to make a bit of a game out of it with our son.. by counting and showing him our hands as we count and then tickling him when we get to a certain number. He can now count to 5 and as soon as he gets to 5, he knows he will be tickled and he starts to laugh. Science is something different. We just carry on with teaching him about what he sees and experiences. When it rains, we point the clouds to him and tell him that is where the rain comes from. The one thing we find is that we tend to talk to him constantly about everything. He is at the 'ooohh what is that' stage and each time he asks, we answer him. And then sometimes we turn the table and ask him 'what is that'. Take an interest when she asks you anything.

Most importantly, don't expect too much. She is her own individual and there may be things she is not interested in. The key, I think personally, is to not push the issue. If she shows no interest in something, then you should take an interest in what does interest her. And keep talking to her and reading to her. I started with both of my children from when we came home from the hospital. Night time for us now is that both of them are read to before they go to bed. I find it relaxes them and they tend to settle down more.

music?, is letting your little child listen to rap music bad?, i spoke to my wife about this and we have different opinions. i think it is ok if you explain it to them properly, it is poetry based on the real streets that we live in. and i listen to alot of rap music so she will obviously hear it when i play it.
I listen to all kinds of music, and therefore, so do my children. The one thing with rap though is that when they start to speak, you need to buy the child friendly version, because you just know that one day, your daughter will look at you or her mother and say 'yo yo mother fucker'. As funny as it might be to think about, just keep in mind that getting her to stop saying is much harder than her learning it. That's another thing too, once they do start to speak, you really have to watch what you say in front of them.

Most importantly... take it one day at a time. And enjoy being a parent. There is nothing else like it in the world. It is utterly terrifying and wonderful at the same time.:)

Expect your life to suck for 18 years at least.

Grats, my step-brother just had a baby aswell. I've never had any kids, but I'm the oldest of 8 and have 5 step-ciblings. Since you're a young parent, your life is probably ruined unless you happen to be pretty successful in life. My only advice would be for you not to raise an idiot or a crackhead(please not an idiot). The book Reviving Ophelia has tons of psychology in it that is centered around young girls if you're looking to read up on that type of stuff. From what you've said on these forums, you'll likely be a much better parent than most people. Children can learn at very young ages. My little brother will be 3 next month, and he talks in complete sentences and I've taught him a lot of other things.

hey thanks for all of the advice people, i really appreciate it all. i will reply to each individual post at a near-later date, it is 2.30 am here and thats alot of posts for me to reply to, it would take awhile. im not just posting this for the sake of another thread etc i will seriously listen to all of the advice. im trying to get as much decent information as possible so i can be a good parent. because i know im not fully prepared for it all and i take advice from as many sourcs as i can,

i thought asking here would be a great idea, getting personal accounts from all over the world from people who have done it before and know what they are talking about. i guess i made a bad move buying her tons of cute little baby outfits then, i just couldent resist, baby clothes are adorable. i got most of the stuff from mothercare and baby gap, they have such nice things. she has more clothes than i do and she is not even born yet!.


peace.

One thing I remember from my childhood is the rituals and special occasions. Dad worked very hard, but made it a point to take us for a drive every Sunday evening, around the city. It was an us time. He talked about different places, events, people and pointed out interesting stuff.

Another thing my parents did was to encourage creativity; we scrawled liberally on the walls, cupboards, in coloring books, had toys that required thinking (putting stuff together), a tiny little piano to bang on and a tricycle to race on. We were also taken to the park every evening and to our grandparent for weekends (that probably was a break for the parents as well).

Mum and Dad also kept us well supplied with books, we didn't watch television, but we listened to the radio and the phonograph (arrghh, that sounds so dated!). Sunday afternoons we lounged around and chatted. When we were really young, we went to the beach on weekend mornings.

In short, set aside time regularly to have fun with your kids; that's what they will remember. :)

hey thanks for all of the advice people, i really appreciate it all. i will reply to each individual post at a near-later date, it is 2.30 am here and thats alot of posts for me to reply to, it would take awhile. im not just posting this for the sake of another thread etc i will seriously listen to all of the advice. im trying to get as much decent information as possible so i can be a good parent. because i know im not fully prepared for it all and i take advice from as many sourcs as i can,

i thought asking here would be a great idea, getting personal accounts from all over the world from people who have done it before and know what they are talking about. i guess i made a bad move buying her tons of cute little baby outfits then, i just couldent resist, baby clothes are adorable. i got most of the stuff from mothercare and baby gap, they have such nice things. she has more clothes than i do and she is not even born yet!.


peace.

I bought lots of cute baby clothes for my first child as well. One of which was ridiculously expensive and the first time he wore it, he had soiled it beyond repair and it had to be thrown out. I was devastated. It was such a cute outfit.:bawl: I've found with personal experience, that practical clothes work much better. As long as you can have quick and easy access to their nappy, it's all good. Check that it can be soaked if soiled. The better the clothes, the longer it will last, and if you have any more children, they can have the hand-me-downs. I've found Baby Bonds clothes to be terrific. They aren't expensive, but for just staying home and rolling on the floor and for everyday use, they are wonderful. They can be soaked overnight and washed and scrubbed repeatedly. And when you buy the baby clothes, check for double stitching at the seam, especially in the crotch area, as the constant opening of the clips at the bottom can tear the clothes if the seams and edging are not double stitched.

And don't worry, I doubt anyone is ever prepared for their first child. No amount of books or advice can fully prepare you for it.

One thing though, all the baby books about pregnancy and newborns always seem to concentrate more about the birth itself. While that is vitally important, if your wife is planning to breastfeed, find a few books on baby feeding and read them before the baby is born, so that you both have some idea of positions and attachment of the child. I just glanced over the breastfeeding before my first and to this day, I regret not sitting down and read through some books about breastfeeding in itself as it would have saved me a lot of pain and terror in those first few days.

My sister in law gave me this book, called Baby Love (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Love-Everything-Need-about/dp/0871319853/ref=pd_bbs_2/105-4561583-5849232?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190177258&sr=8-2) by Robin Barker, and I have to admit, it was the best present I ever had when I had my first. It deals with everything about newborns and also about children in the first year. Even things I never thought to think of, and suddenly found myself facing it, it was in this book. While it is written with Australian regulations in mind (such as recommendations for SIDS, etc), the practical advice it gives was and is invaluable. She's not preachy but gives readers a wide approach, with many options on how to tackle problems. My cousin in France is also expecting her first child next year and I have already sent her a copy of this book. It is a fairly thick book, but it is filled with everything you might need to know about the first year of a child's life.

just enjoy having the baby, all the sleepless nights, nappy changes, being sick, the nasty smells, the teething, the crawling, the walking, the screaming tantrums, the terrible twos, the NO days where all the child can say is NO!! enjoy those days because has soon has they becomme teenagers thats when everything changes, you start to worry about boys, girls, should they be wearing "that" outfit, where are they when they are not home when they are suppose to be, are they ok, so just enjoy having a baby amd then a toddler for those years are gone all to quickly

Expect your life to suck for 18 years at least.

Spider! Not true, it will be different but the enjoyment of watching your children develop is unlike anything else in life.

I thought of a couple of things from a fathers point of view and with you in mind as a a martial artist. When my first finally came I felt this surge of paternal energy, like an animal ready to defend his young. As the years went I also became more timid with regards to risking injury, your life is no longer just yours. A strange feeling but not bad either, it can keep you going through the worst traumas.

If your hands start hurting from hitting your child you are doing something wrong.










Use your shoe.

No spurious, you pick em up by the leg and smack em against the wall!

Honestly, I don't understand how people can actually want to have babies. They are perhaps the ugliest things in existence, and watching them behave reminds me of some sort of chimpanzee baby (which is actually cuter). They are noisy, smell foul, and look like useless sacks of blubber. Listening to a baby shriek almost pushes me into a berserk rage.

It's a pity that humans couldn't have babies that are more like dog pups or bird chicks. Rather cute, and much more pleasant sounding.

babies actually smell real good.

Even their poo isn't really smelly at the beginning. At some age however their poo starts smelling bad. :(

If your hands start hurting from hitting your child you are doing something wrong.










Use your shoe.

Or the protective combat gloves the hospital issues with every birth.

babies actually smell real good.

Even their poo isn't really smelly at the beginning. At some age however their poo starts smelling bad. :(

Stupid solids.:(

Breastfed babies tend to not have really smelly poo until they start out on solids. Formula fed babies on the other hand.. well.. that's another thing altogether.

Honestly, I don't understand how people can actually want to have babies.
It's good to have someone you can boss around and who will do everything you say... on a good day.

They are perhaps the ugliest things in existence, and watching them behave reminds me of some sort of chimpanzee baby (which is actually cuter).
Yes and?

All parents think their own babies are cute. I am no exception.:D As to their behaviour. Well neither of mine have managed to throw their poo at the walls yet.

They are noisy, smell foul, and look like useless sacks of blubber.
Noisy? Yes. Smell foul? No. Look like slacks of blubber? At first yes. But then they start rolling, crawling and then walking. Then your shoes go missing and are found, after ages of searching, in the garden bed. They can also fetch and carry if trained properly from an early age.

It's a pity that humans couldn't have babies that are more like dog pups or bird chicks.
That's because we are a different species.

Rather cute, and much more pleasant sounding.
You've never had to clean up cat and dog poor and/or vomit before have you? I'd much rather baby poo and puke over what animals can do any day. And they aren't that cute when they tear the furniture to shreds and decide to do their business on the rug, floor, furniture or bed. Believe me.

Yo man! Congrats again!

ok in 1 month i will be a father for the first time, and was wondering what things to expect along the way, starting from newborn to terrible twos all the way up to teenage children.
Ok, let's see....
Are you sure you want to know everything? Well, here it goes (spoilers ahead, stop reading if you don't want to know)

First of all, your wife will probably be in pain, and could get some infections from breastfeeding. Be prepared for a lot of nagging. She will also bleed quite a bit in the beginning, but it will pass in a couple of weeks (it's called "lokia"). Your baby will need to be fed about... huumm... some 20 times a day at first, and only breastmilk.

Now for your baby's development....
First, baby needs to learn to roll.
Then, baby needs to learn to hold the head up, with "tummy time".
Then, baby needs to learn to eat solid foods.
Then, baby learns to babble.
Then, baby crawls.
Then, baby walks.
Then, baby runs.
And while all that is happening, baby is screaming.
They usually know a couple of words by the time they are 1 year and a half...

... then comes the terrible twos....... :bawl:

we are both young parents, (i will be the cool one) is there anything shocking that i should be expecting?.
Yes. Their first poo diapers are really weird.....

... :D

what should i prepare myself for first of all?,
Sleepless nights and complete and utter lack of time to do anything...

in terms of punishment based on different peoples experience what works best?. i dont like the idea of shouting at children it seem useless to me, i have no problem hitting my child though, i think alot of children could do with a slap now and again to keep them in line, but shouting and getting all huffy is not in my nature.
HA! Believe me... chances are you will lose your mind once in a while, specially if you have to handle a lot of problems. If you have any financial problems at all, start praying now. :D

Punishment.... a little slap in the hand is fine. But also change the tone of your voice to much more serious and your toddler will respond. Don't worry about punishment in the first year... you will barely have any reason. Once your child start walking, then yes, you will have to start thinking about that. Also, make sure that nothing dangerous is at your toddlers reach. That includes high places that could be accessible by certain means....

at what age should children learn language, maths, science etc?.
Language.... 1 and a half, 2 years....
Math.... I don't know. I would guess 4...
Science... forget about that for now.
Try instruments, particularly piano. A 2 year old child is capable of learning piano. Piano is often the gateway to wisdom.

i was thinking of teaching her as early as possible, but at what age can children actualy comprehend subjects? 2-3?.
I would guess 3 or 4... specially 4....

obviously they can learn to count and talk from age 1+ (i hope),
Usually, 1 year olds know only a couple of words. I think it's when they are 2 that it really kicks in. I was 1 and a half when I started getting really good...

music?, is letting your little child listen to rap music bad?, i spoke to my wife about this and we have different opinions. i think it is ok if you explain it to them properly, it is poetry based on the real streets that we live in. and i listen to alot of rap music so she will obviously hear it when i play it.
I would say... Just avoid heavy metal.... and swear words....

Be patient and fair; but responsible and reasonable.

Man, a lot of you guys had a pretty tough time with your kids. Mine all slept thru the night pretty much from the start (I have four).

Kids, even babies, pick up on the emotions of their parents. If you're anxious and nervous around the child, he will be too.

DO NOT TIP-TOE AROUND THE HOUSE TO AVOID WAKING UP THE BABY. This is a rookie mistake and results in a baby that wakes up too easily. Go about your normal activities when the child is sleeping. This way he'll learn to sleep thru normal everyday noises.

Don't get a diaper genie (if they still make them). They just concentrate the smell. Take the disposable diaper and fold it up tightly, being sure to tape it shut. Then put it in with the normal trash.

Don't carry around a ton of stuff with your kid. You can always tell first time parents by how much paraphenalia they carry around with the baby. All you need is a change of clothes, a few diapers, and a bottle or two. Unless you're staying overnight.

For disipline, DO NOT MAKE EMPTY THREATS. Don't say you're going to pull over the car unless you mean it. Kids learn right away if your threats are bullshit. How many times have you heard parents screaming and threatening their children who just ignore them?

And I disagree with the consensus on spanking. I spanked way more when the kids were young. (I never spank my 17 year old.) If a baby is doing something dangerous, a light smack on the bottom or the hand along with a "no" gets the point across easily.

My children know that if they disobey me, a spanking will follow immediately. They are very obedient, even the 17 year old who hasn't had a spanking in years. Of course, when they get older it's better to take away priviledges like computer, video games, car, cell phone, etc. For young children, it's the best. You don't need to hit them hard, for very young children just a little slap. And never do it in anger. Do it for their benefit, not to relieve stress.

Oh, and if it's a boy; don't try to keep it from playing with toy guns. Little boys who are deprived of guns will turn everything into a gun. My kids had squirt guns, ray guns, etc. To them, it was no big deal. I had a neighboor who's kid wasn't allowed to play with guns. He was obsessed with them and would turn everything into a gun and immediately sieze any toy gun he found.

...Kids, even babies, pick up on the emotions of their parents. If you're anxious and nervous around the child, he will be too.

DO NOT TIP-TOE AROUND THE HOUSE TO AVOID WAKING UP THE BABY. This is a rookie mistake and results in a baby that wakes up too easily. Go about your normal activities when the child is sleeping. This way he'll learn to sleep thru normal everyday noises.

Don't carry around a ton of stuff with your kid. You can always tell first time parents by how much paraphenalia they carry around with the baby. All you need is a change of clothes, a few diapers, and a bottle or two. Unless you're staying overnight.

For disipline, DO NOT MAKE EMPTY THREATS. Don't say you're going to pull over the car unless you mean it. Kids learn right away if your threats are bullshit. How many times have you heard parents screaming and threatening their children who just ignore them?... (my husband is bad about this one. They now just roll their eyes at him)

Oh, and if it's a boy; don't try to keep it from playing with toy guns. Little boys who are deprived of guns will turn everything into a gun. My kids had squirt guns, ray guns, etc. To them, it was no big deal. I had a neighboor who's kid wasn't allowed to play with guns. He was obsessed with them and would turn everything into a gun and immediately sieze any toy gun he found.

These are all very good. VERY good advice, especially the being quiet one. My kids can sleep through anything.

If your kids don't sleep through everything, put some brandy in their milk. Keep adding brandy till they sleep through everything.

warning: do not try this with valium. That would be irresponsible.

My Dr actually told me that if I ever got stressed, have a glass of wine before nursing. It would calm down the baby and make me feel better too.

My Dr actually told me that if I ever got stressed, have a glass of wine before nursing. It would calm down the baby and make me feel better too.

That seems rather impossible, since the alcohol is first diluted in the blood and then gets diluted again through the milk which has to spread its effect through the body of the baby.

Actually, my wife said it is acceptable to go boozing and still nurse. Because the effect is minimal.

maybe she saw how frantic I was, wanted me calm, and knew a calm mom makes a calmer baby.
My Aunt drank beer everyday while nursing. The said it made better milk.

maybe she saw how frantic I was, wanted me calm, and knew a calm mom makes a calmer baby.
My Aunt drank beer everyday while nursing. The said it made better milk.

could well be, also since there are lots of calories in beer!

In fact beer is a whole food group on itself that makes all other groups redundant.