The science for why having no personal attatchments helps.

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by z9999ghzbrainzz89, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. z9999ghzbrainzz89 Registered Member

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    It helps me organise my life by preventing any unnessasry issues that could get in my way of doing stuff.

    This is why intelligence agents in many countries use it in my oppinion. But it can be used many ways. Some seem to use it more strictly and others less. It just seems to depend on the individual.

    Anybody else practice this lifestyle?
     
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  3. Stryder Keeper of "good" ideas. Valued Senior Member

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    Practicing Sociopathy as a choice?

    I think most that suffer from the incapability to be empathic or attached, tend to do so not by choice. It has however been suggested and possibly proven that some of the most influential people either suffer or follow as a doctrine by maintaining the absence of attachment or empathy.

    This doesn't however mean that they fail, in fact you'd be surprised just how many CEO's tend to become like this over years of working up to their position. (Some should now realise why some bosses appear "Jerks".)

    It should be noted however that "Emotions" are important when it comes to social interaction, so if you are a super-elitist recluse that wants to count piles of money and doesn't give a stuff about other peoples opinions, it's a way of life.
     
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  5. z9999ghzbrainzz89 Registered Member

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    it seems you are trying to say that all people who prefer a personal-attatchmentless life are sociopaths
     
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  7. Stryder Keeper of "good" ideas. Valued Senior Member

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    That is totally dependent on if they have the capacity to "be empathetic", or if they just know how to "act empathetic" when it suits them. If it's the latter, then it's sociopathy.
     
  8. Cai Registered Member

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    you are right!
     
  9. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    It doesn't sound likely to be a very happy life, based on what I've read, but if it works for you, have at it.

    From The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work:

     
  10. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

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    Yes, the love of family and friends has an enormous influence on our individual happiness.

    As the Buddha said, it is our choice of attachments that brings us pain in this life. He did not say that we should not attach, but that we should be wise in our choice of attachments.

    I find it interesting that someone who claims to possess no interpersonal attachments would come to a group of strangers and state that makes them happier than others. What is your motivation? :shrug:
     
  11. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    It's not an either-or thing. Some people are more extroverted and derive energy from the company of others, while some are more introverted and find that socializing drains energy and they have to spend time alone to recharge.

    But it must be acknowledged that Homo sapiens is a social species. We are programmed to trust and care for the other members of our pack, and over the millennia that "pack" has grown from a small extended family of nomadic hunter-gatherers to trans-national hegemonies.

    Both our physiology and our psychology require membership in a group for survival.
    • Physiology: Because our children are virtually helpless for years and don't actually "grow up" for almost two decades, it takes not just a mom, not just a mom and a dad, but (as has been estimated) an average of 2.2 adults to raise two children successfully. This requires a society in which even grandparents past reproductive age take active (and interactive) roles. In fact we are one of very few species in which individuals live long past reproductive age.
    • Psychology: All but the most introverted one-percenter becomes starved for love and sheer companionship after too long out in the woods alone.
    So, yes: Anyone who genuinely feels uncomfortable, out of place, or downright hostile when he has even the most casual and undemanding personal attachments is, almost by definition, a sociopath.

    I say "almost," because a true sociopath regards other humans as mere props in his life and feels free to exploit, harm or even kill them in his quest for the things that he wants. So if that "most introverted one-percenter" hangs onto his basic human instincts and accords other people the minimal respect of not harming them deliberately or casually, and of not damaging the fabric of civilization by exaggerated selfish behavior, then he is at least living as a herd-social creature like a zebra, rather than a pack-social creature like a gorilla, and IMHO would not qualify as a sociopath. A sociopath can be seen as a solitary creature, like a tiger.

    But most of the people who encounter him would probably call him a jerk or something stronger. Each of us is supposed to be contributing to the maintenance and advance of civilization, not merely enjoying its advantages while letting everybody else do the work.

    So if this "most introverted one-percenter" has a productive job sitting at home working on his computer, communicating with people only on the internet and in the most impersonal way possible, and gives back to civilization a tiny bit more than he takes out of it, then he is, indeed, just a one-percenter and not, technically, IMHO, a sociopath.

    In fact, the Post-Industrial Era will be a dream come true for these people. We'll probably start finding out just how many of them there are.

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  12. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    Reducing one's attachment to others can sometimes simply be a phase one goes through, as one changes and grows.

    For example, a person who grew up in a poor criminal neighborgood and yet wants to make something of themselves, will probably have to break all ties with their poor criminal friends and family, at least temporarily, and at least for some time, will have to make it on their own.

    One first needs to be be comfortable with oneself, before one can be comfortable with others; one first needs to be able to live with oneself, before one can live with others.
     
  13. Twelve Registered Senior Member

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    Right. Some people are attached to somebody because they are dependent on that person (emotionally or physically or for financial reasons), but that feeling of affection is not love.
    The main condition to be suitable to be attached to someone is to feel comfortable with oneself and transmit/give that wellbeing to other people.
     
  14. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    I suggest that for an extremely extroverted person it might be somewhat the other way round. If he can't find people that he's comfortable with, it might be very hard to be comfortable with himself. Remember: extroverts draw energy from others and dissipate it when they're alone. If they lose that reserve of energy, being alone becomes very uncomfortable. I think these people are statistically more likely to go out and join up with whoever's available, even if they're losers and thugs. An introvert will just stay inside until he builds up so much energy that he has to go out and sing karaoke or something like that--in a crowd of people but not too close to any of them.
    Love comes in many forms. For many people, it's not too difficult to develop genuine love for a person who satisfies their needs, whatever kind of needs we're talking about.

    Look at all the abused wives who never try to leave. I'm not talking about the ones covered with bruises, just the ones whom we look at and say, "Why can't she do better than that?"

    Sometimes it comes down to lack of self-respect, feeling so grateful that somebody, anybody, is willing to take care of a useless sack of skin like yourself, that it becomes a twisted sort of love.

    The Nobel Prize goes to the first person who figures out why we love the people we love.
     

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