What sounds do bears make when they mate?

(I was unsure which subforum to put this under.)

Roarrrrrrrr :shrug:

Mmmmhm.

Think "big dog"

Have you actually heard the sound of a bear mating? I doubt you have. In fact I can say no you haven't. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be around today if that were the case.

No...

What sounds do bears make when they mate?


Are you talking about the actual act of mating or the ritual that leads up to mating or the sounds the bear males make when they're fighting over a female? And which type of bear? There is a difference, ya' know?

I watched black bears mate once and now that you mention it, I don't recall any distinct sounds ...huffing and puffing, perhaps, but no loud growls or anything like that.

Baron Max

Are you talking about the actual act of mating or the ritual that leads up to mating or the sounds the bear males make when they're fighting over a female? And which type of bear? There is a difference, ya' know?

Grizzlies. They're bigger than black bears right?

I watched black bears mate once and now that you mention it, I don't recall any distinct sounds ...huffing and puffing, perhaps, but no loud growls or anything like that.


They huff and puff? That's kind of like humans isn't it?

Btw, you're a hunter? Because that's the only way I can think of you volunteerily spying on bears.

I once saw this episode of Walker Texas Ranger in which Chuck Norris was lost in the woods and had his campsite attacked by a bear. The bear was on top and Chuck Norris kicked and punched the bear until it backed off in exhaustion, while Norris had some scratches on his chest.

What's with all the bear stuff lately?

Why wouldn't you make a damn poll for this question? It's insane just like ignoring a poll for the astrological signs!

PS No man can beat a bear up, they're just to strong.

I would like to but unfortunately the edit option does not allow it.

Chuck Norris depanted Godzilla.

Chuck Norris doesn't beat up a bear. Chuck Norris looks at a bear, and the bear instantly turns into a throw-rug.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1OnH50PdBY

Many bears will run from you if you exhibit aggressive behavior ...and the bear ain't hungry! But I wouldn't want to go after a big Grizzly just to test that theory, would you?

And remember, Tarzan used to wrestle alligators and crocodiles in the movies ....IN THE WATER! One of those things, in the water, is a very nasty thing to deal with. But Tarzan did it all the time, didn't he? ...LOL!

Baron Max

What's with all the bear stuff lately?

Why wouldn't you make a damn poll for this question? It's insane just like ignoring a poll for the astrological signs!

PS No man can beat a bear up, they're just to strong.

i wouldent say its impossible, most people say its impossible to beat up a fully grown bull with your bare hands karate chop its horns off and stranagle it to death,

but mas oyama thought differently and did just that many times,


peace.

I knocked-out a buffalo the other day with a left hook.

I knocked-out a buffalo the other day with a left hook.

I used to beat up teddy bears every week end.

I used to beat up teddy bears every week end.

Did they step out of line at the tea party?


I think a man probably could beat up a bear. I wouldn't like to try it myself, but I'm sure it's possible.

If you were quick enough on your feet to avoid being mauled and could land very powerful blows to the bear, why not?

Anybody ever seen the documentary Grizzly Man? Quite insane stuff, but no man vs. bear fighting I'm afraid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly_Man

A strange but interesting watch if you get the chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MapyZq4YIo


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FteS-NxwXsA


mas oyama was a great fighter shame we lost him not too long ago,

(by the way for the record all of the bulls he killed wich is quite a fair number, were all due to be slaughtered anyway,)


peace.

I think Hillary Clinton can.

hedgehogs make a huge sound when they mate, seriously i was amazed!


i have just worked it out, the 2 posts about bears ofcourse!. you want to sexualy molest and rape a bear, and you wondered if a) you were able to beat up the bear incase it decided to maul you, hence thew other thread, and b) if the bear would make a loud enough noise for you to be detected by neighbors who will report your animal abuse tot he authoritys.


you sly dog you thought you could get away with it.:bugeye:

peace.

what does this have to do with sexualy molesting bears?


peace.

I think Hillary Clinton can.

...no one can. The bear has ICBMS targeted at her if she goes hostile ;)

That they huff and puff like humans is proof that we evolved from bears.

your all sick bear molesting rapists with your bear threads, shame on you :)


seriously whats with all the bear threads?

Can bears think of anything logical, do they have a soul? How smart are they, smart as dolPhins?

All I know is they huff and puff like humans during sex, very interesting.

its officialy national molest a bear day on sciforums.

peace.

Shut up all ready about the bears, bears want to be left in peace, a pantig told me so.

guys im totaly serial, the manbearpig exists.


peace.

Well?

Do they?

I saw one of those parking its car the other day.

it depends on who is molesting them.

peace.

Well?

Could it?

Well?

Who would win?

no way chuck norris would kick his 'bare' ass. and chuck norris would kick all of your asses .


his face looks like a bears ass sometimes,


peace.

Chuck Norris would lose. Chuck Norris lost TO MY FACE.

Bears obviously...weres the Poll?

I want to see Chuck Norris fight Hillary, that would be a real moneymaker.

the ninjas wouldent molest the bears, they have codes of honor and shit like that, unlike sciforums members.

according to bitter asian men ninjas are way better than girls.

peace.

Bears obviously...weres the Poll?

wheres darksiddz?


peace.

Well?

Which is it?

I am not sure...the dePends if they have a soul...

they say both shows are equally shitty as each other,

i agree.

peace.

it also depends on wich cast molests them the least.


peace.

I know *I* do!

Bears like British food better, keep that in mind.

Well?

Which is it?

And this supposed to be free thought thread, maybe you should throw it away and buy a bakers dozen.

This is unbearable.

Yes but are bears better than girls? Are bears better than House? Do bears like to smoke weed and dance to house? OH THE MYSTERY!

Since we evolved from bears, scientists are reading movements of bears as being distinct humanlike sentences, so we may soon know what the bears think about these matters.

You're so punny.

lets do some tests.

peace.

`
Well... duh !!!

Bears like "cave"

Since we evolved from bears, scientists are reading movements of bears as being distinct humanlike sentences, so we may soon know what the bears think about these matters.

that would explain the extended snout on your face. and your ears.

peace.

And this supposed to be free thought thread, maybe you should throw it away and buy a bakers dozen.

this is no longer the three thought foru, it is the bear union and thought forum.

peace.

Housebears.

`
This old guy killed a bear...
http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/3448/reagan22newzi9.jpg
Oh, wait - he just ripped it's balls off !
heh...

Forbearance my friends, forbearance.

Chuck Norris again?:rolleyes: A dried out elderly has been grade D actor is all he was. Now an infomercial drone. Some people are too easily impressed.

Chuck Norris is the greatest actor and fighter who ever lived.

`
Well... duh !!!

Bears only watch "Survivorman" (http://www.survivorman.ca/episodes.html), to see if there will be a snack in their neighborhood any time soon.

`
Well... duh !!!

Bears would use their tank destroyer Shock Armies to crush ninjas !

chuck norris would rip your balls out of there sack, simultaniously smacking your head so that your eyeballs shoot down and replace your testicles all in time for you to witness it happening from a ball sack perspective,

while bieng a grade A actor in 2 movies at once,

peace.

`
Well... duh !!!

Norris wouldn't beat up the bear...

He'd sell it a Total Gym !

at a discount price.

peace.

true thats obvious.


peace.

Can bears think of anything logical, do they have a soul? How smart are they, smart as dolPhins?
I think bout the best they can manage is to remember where salmon come from...

True.

you know it!

peace.

And to shit in the woods.

If it was the 1985 bears, it'd be DA BEARS!!!!!! Hands down.

they only shit in the woods so the ninjas tread in it while making a treetop canopy strike.

peace.

I think bout the best they can manage is to remember where salmon come from...

wow...that means medulla oblangata is working...so they must have ability to visualize and calculate the sPeed...acceleration and final Position of salmon using highly technical equations...AmaZing! :eek:

Bears evolved from Dolphins.

Bears evolved from Dolphins.

I thought they evolved from humans...:confused:

No, humans evolved from bears, and humans and dolphins mostly understand each other.

wow...that means medulla oblangata is working...so they must have ability to visualize and calculate the sPeed...acceleration and final Position of salmon using highly technical equations...AmaZing! :eek:

Nahhh...
That just means they have quick reaction times.

I mean they remember where the stream they caught 'em is located.
Clearly they all gots sil-o-con chips in dey haids.

No, humans evolved from bears, and humans and dolphins mostly understand each other.

You mean like the way the Japanese "understand" dolphins are good eatin' ?

I have to admit, I wonder myself.

They look like they'd make good Bar-B-Q.

Much better than boiled dolphin.

Hail yay-uh !
In E'murr-i-guh, anyways...

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/9097/b7175zp9jn9.jpg

your all sick bear molesting rapists with your bear threads, shame on you :)


seriously whats with all the bear threads?


All bears are now extinct i shot the bloody lot of them, even the lovey dovey koalas, bears do not exist anymore they have gone from the face of the planet, if you see a bear it is in your imagination, get therapy.

Bears evolved from Dolphins.

The ancestor of both bears and dogs were bear dogs, or more accurately a lineage called vulvapines, sister group to viverravines that evolved in to Mongooses. Seals and Walruses evolved off the bear lineage about 20 million years ago. Whales, Porpoises and Dolphins evolved from a completely different line of Artiodacyl ungulates (even-toed hoofed animals, like deer, camels, cows and pigs) about 35 million years ago.

Yes, bears and dogs are both capable of logical thought. I don't think that anyone has ever given either an IQ test though?

Yes, bears and dogs communicate by morse code with their eye blinks.

Half the threads in free thoughts now have something to do with Bears. What's going on? Is this an invasion? Can the Colts be far behind?

I think it started with somebody asking if a man could really beat up a bear, then it went to raping bears, and so on.

`
Well... duh !!!

Bears only watch "Survivorman" (http://www.survivorman.ca/episodes.html), to see if there will be a snack in their neighborhood any time soon.

Les Stroud rocks. Did you see the one off show where he was building an eco-friendly house with his family?

If not, download it. It's cool if you like les. Les Stroud - Off The Grid

http://www.isohunt.com/torrent_details/15750924/survivorman+les+stroud+off+grid

That link's for educational purposes only and looking at how the webpage is encoded. Quite interesting.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/thebearsarehere (http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/2088/goldenbeares1.jpg)

Well?

Which is it?
my god, hell froze over.
a post/ thread by xev.

Les Stroud rocks. Did you see the one off show where he was building an eco-friendly house with his family?
Didn't see the house build, but Les sure is somethin'.

this ought to be easy.

They shit wherever they feel like it, unless Chuck Norris is around, then they become throw rugs after they look into his eyes.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail145.html

Is there a flood going on?

`
By the time we got into Tulsa Town,
We had eighty-five trucks in all.
But they's a roadblock up on the cloverleaf,
And them bears was wall-to-wall.
Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper;
They even had a bear in the air!
I says, "Callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck.
"We about to go a-huntin' bear."

omg fl00d!!!11!!

Start banning!
jeez!

`
No.

They go down to the nearest stream and crap in there, knowing the water is used to make Coors beer, hence explaining the taste of said rotugut.

`
Who ?

For What ?

darksidZz ?

About time !

So the "Taste of the Rockies" is that kind of rockies, great.

take 2 of these and..

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/8504/bayer20aspirinlh5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

When I hear "Bear" I think of the fetishist old fat hairy gay men that grope eachother's pasty fat during hair sex. It makes me nauseous in the extreme.

Half the threads in free thoughts now have something to do with Bears. What's going on? Is this an invasion? Can the Colts be far behind?

Yeah, I noticed all that and wondered, too. Haven't read any of them, though, and probably won't. Just came into this thread to see if there was a resonable answer to your question.

It is essentially as I describe in post #2, very strange.

It is essentially as I describe in post #2, very strange.

Nothing compared to "The Attack of falloutboyfan" a bit ago.

well? are they?

it doesn't matter. There is no proof of God in the 1st place.

They are a guild within the Catholic church, the bearisters.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

related question:
does the pope shit in the woods?

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Because such is life.

related question:
does the pope shit in the woods?

it doesn't matter because there are almost no woods left and pope's influence as a figure is experiencing a steady downfall.

well? are they?

No.

Bears are Evangelicals, as evidenced by their claim to the "divine right" to kill and eat anything they encounter.

If yes, then you may join my support group- the Bears Anonymus...






....:bugeye:

:wtf:

Should it be legal for bears to get married, and join the military?

Half the threads in free thoughts now have something to do with Bears. What's going on? Is this an invasion? Can the Colts be far behind?
Bare in mind this won't last forever....




.... :D

I can't bear it.:mad:

lets hope it doesn't get too grizzly.

Ursi-ti-nely hope so.

Bit of a stretch on that one sam.


But this thread is hilarious. Truly a Kodiak moment.

Only when in the woods proper.

Other times whenever the need becomes direct. If you see a Grizzly squatting on your front lawn, I'd reccomend leaving him alone.

Bit of a stretch on that one sam.


But this thread is hilarious. Truly a Kodiak moment.

wakka wakka

(begins pelting redefine with vegetables)

Silence eternal. Forever never heard of. How does it feel to be never heard of? To be the only one there is. To find no one around you supporting you?

How does it feel?

:confused:

Seriously,

:wtf:

And more to the point, are bears good swimmers? Itw would be an absolutely brilliant idea if someone started a thread on this.

Well, are they? :m:

yes

Well. That answers that.

http://www.sciforums.com/images/statusicon/thread_lock_new.gif

That was a brilliant idea. :D

Except Giant pandas. They suck at everything.

They're pretty good at eating bamboo. They can put away upwards of 20 pounds a day. Can you match that? Eh? And no, they don't 'suck at' the bamboo, before you start. They chew it.

Mainly.

Bears vs Ninjas

I would say it totally depends on the bear species in question. It's a known fact that giant panda bears suck at everything, survival, sex, swimming. No doubt they will also suck at fighting ninjas.

The polar bear will make minced meat of any ninja though. The polar bear's intellect is superior, it's acute sense of the environment surpasses that of even the best ninjas, it's physical power dwarfs that of any ninja, even the made up ones, and moreover, the polar bear has an innate hatred for ninjas which makes the polar bear highly motivated. In contrast the ninja is a born coward with an innate fear of polar bears.

We don't really have to speculate on the outcome of this putative battle. In 1876 eleven ninjas were send to assassinate a polar bear in the zoo of Berlin. Mind you this bear spend most of its life in a small cage in captivity and had lost most of its teeth. The ninjas were heavily armed.

It took the bear 47 seconds to dispose of all eleven ninjas and it ate 3 of them for show and the rest used to build a ladder with which it escaped from the zoo. It was last seen in Norway on its way to the north pole.

If this thread seems not to make sense, there are two good reasons for that:

1. sciforums members went crazy for a while and started 17 separate threads about bears.
2. The 17 threads have been merged into one.

Three reasons, James:
3: Sciforum members are contributing

............... :)

Spuriousmonkey, that is total rubbish and you know it.
I'll post the link to the YouTube video (when I find it): showing that the encounter was actually 2 polar bears and one ninja.
One bear died and the ninja escaped with minor injuries.

One of our girls replies has gone missing. And some poll options. Not to worry though. I'll start a new thread.

(Still no V-sign icon?)

My vote is on the ninja - simply because he/she has the unfair advantage of using traps, poison, or bow and arrow.....which is also to say that any tool-wielding human has an unfair advantage against any animal.

In contrast, the bear has an unfair advantage in unarmed combat (IE- a nude greco-roman wrestler vs a bear in a dirt arena would be torn to pieces), but in the literal sense, this specific type of warrior can only be armed to the teeth.

This would likely be a very boring battle - unless you like watching hunting & fishing shows.

Silence eternal. Forever never heard of. How does it feel to be never heard of? To be the only one there is. To find no one around you supporting you?

How does it feel?


ever thought of writing all your jibberish down in a book?


peace.

Spuriousmonkey, that is total rubbish and you know it.
I'll post the link to the YouTube video (when I find it): showing that the encounter was actually 2 polar bears and one ninja.
One bear died and the ninja escaped with minor injuries.

There was no youtube in 1876.

Another pro-pirate lie.
Ninjas invented the video camera in 1200 AD and started YouTube in 1245.
But they KEPT IT SECRET!

A ninja can't even find his own ass. That's why they are gay. He needs someone else to 'pinpoint' it.

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest" and you're telling me ninjas can't find their arse......?

If this thread seems not to make sense, there are two good reasons for that:

1. sciforums members went crazy for a while and started 17 separate threads about bears.
2. The 17 threads have been merged into one.

Okay thankyou for clearing that up. When I saw this thread I was like "wtf!?". I just got home from some friends and I was scared that I forgot that I started a thread called "the big BEAR thread". Or that it was an alternate thread that slipped through a wormhole. You might notice a similar increase in sophistication among certain threads.

Edit: btw, I was watching Lake Placid and the croc grab a grizzly by the foot and pulled him right in.

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest" and you're telling me ninjas can't find their arse......?

Yes, and they have no trouble finding the ass of someone else.

Because they inject the poison there...

.....now as far as Pirates vs bears, I'd have to vote for bears.

Pirates would lose to bears on sheer gheyness alone.....even to panda bears. To be fair, pirates were equipped with guns......unfortunately, they were all inaccurate not-rifled muzzle loaders that were only effective at point blank range. The only other three weapons pirates had were cannons, daggers, and cutlasses. Since cannons would be pointless to use on bears, that would only leave them with close range sword and dagger (advantage - bear).
Pirates are often drunk from rum (advantage - bear).
Pirates often stink to high heaven...... which eliminates any notion of stealth vs a bears amazing sense of smell (advantage - bear). Pirates have peg legs, so they are terrible runners (advantage - bear).

I think the only advantage pirates have is the fact that they probably cause indigestion in bears from all that rum and poor hygiene.

Which isn't to be sniffed at. Jonah was probably a pirate, or had pirate blood.

But anyway, we all know that being drunk gives a survival advantage in almost every conceivable situation. I'm surprised that notions to the contrary are still doing the rounds.

Pirates are not afraid of bears because pirates can't swim.

Neither can ninjas, probably. Or pigs (http://luciesfarm.com/artman/publish/article_107.php). Are you suggesting that pigs aren't afraid of bears either?

I mean, did you have a point?

Does he ever? How dim are you? :D

The bear minimum.

Of necessity?

What is my poll doing in this f**** thread? :bugeye:

Why do moderators keep fooling around with my posts? :mad:

:wtf:

JamesR,

When the threads were merged, did the number of hits each recieved total? Because right now I'm seeing 910.

Neither can ninjas, probably. Or pigs (http://luciesfarm.com/artman/publish/article_107.php). Are you suggesting that pigs aren't afraid of bears either?

I mean, did you have a point?

Actually pigs (http://luciesfarm.com/artman/publish/article_107.php) can swim.

Yes, but they cut their own throats (http://luciesfarm.com/artman/publish/article_107.php) doing it.

Did you make the mistake of reading more than the first paragraph of the article?

yes.
http://*******************/wiki/images/5/57/Sciforums-pain.gif

Yeah, and they explore outer space:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300339/

Since we evolved from bears, scientists are reading movements of bears as being distinct humanlike sentences, so we may soon know what the bears think about these matters.

Primate lineage split off 180 million years ago: carnivora about 65 million years ago. No relation.

Timothy Treadwell was a nutcase. All the park and forest service personnel new that it was just a matter of time - an accident waiting to happen - and it did. The terrible part is that Treadwell, aka. the "Grizzly Man," took the girl down with him by influencing her that it was absolutely safe. He's guilty of manslaughter for that one.

Did James R merged all the bear threads with his bare hands? :confused:

No.
http://*******************/wiki/images/5/57/Sciforums-pain.gif

It is Bear Awareness Week!
http://www.sandiegozoo.org/calendar/zoo_bear_week.html