Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


Go here for more info

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/10/03/joke.funniest/index.html


I was in my computing class when I read this and I pissed myself laughing. The only thing that stopped me from getting into trouble was the fact that when the lecturer saw it, he pissed himself too.

I have to agree with the final result. A masterpiece

how can they know all the jokes in the world then judge this one as the funniest joke in the world. its impossible.

Thor that is funny as hell! LOL!:D

It cant be funny in china, or japan, or canada. They wouldnt understand it, because its based in english. Translate it to other languages and it means or sounds different probably...

Is sort of funny though :rolleyes:

Here it is in french:

Deux chasseurs sont dehors dans les bois quand un d'eux des effondrements. Il ne semble pas respirer et ses yeux sont glacés. L'autre type sort son téléphone et appelle les services de secours. Il halète: "mon ami est mort! Ce qui peut je faites?" L'opérateur dit: "calme vers le bas, je peux aider. D'abord, s'assurons il est mort." Il y a un silence, puis un gunshot est entendu. En arrière au téléphone, le type dit: "CORRECT, maintenant ce qui?"

Now once you translate it from French back to english its this:

Two hunters are outside in wood when one of them of collapses. It does not seem to breathe and its eyes are frozen. The other type leaves its telephone and calls the first-aid organizations. It halète: "my friend died! What can I make?" The operator known as: "calms downwards, I can help. Initially, let us ensure itself it died." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Behind on the telephone, the type known as: "CORRECT, now what?"

Two hunters are outside in wood when one of them of collapses. It does not seem to breathe and its eyes are frozen. The other type leaves its telephone and calls the first-aid organizations. It halète: "my friend died! What can I make?" The operator known as: "calms downwards, I can help. Initially, let us ensure itself it died." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Behind on the telephone, the type known as: "CORRECT, now what?"
ha ha, man, thats the funniest thing ive heard all day! :D:D

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From English to French to english to Korean to English:
Two name hunters only inside the tree time are they one of collapse, c. It Hu hup shows one thing, ci anh it eye en c. That outside yu the elder brother leaves it transformation and it calls a first aid system. It }hal{2}ete{: " My friend died,! The B what will be able to manufacture? " With the communication possibility thing which it knows together: " The true feelings which is the possibility of helping with a down, it makes. Initially, us it will listen to, it defends by. " It died, make there is silence, that time fire it listens to. After, Oh with the shedding of blood thing together in transformation: "? " What corrects, now
ha ha ha. it just gets funnier everytime. :D :D

It does! From French to Spanish Back to English To German To English:

The Back read ellos its will will afuera cazadores will will maderas cuando UNO hundimientos. No respirar y SE parece congelan known ojos. DEVELOPING COUNTRY otro tipo saca known teléfono y detached servicios requiere ayuda. Hal: ¡"mi amigo SE murió!" One débarasse myself of puede that yo hechas?"" DEVELOPING COUNTRY operador dicho: "calmed hacia abajo, puedo ayudar." Out of chokes lugar, SE aseguran él SE murió."" NAKED Hay silencio, NAKED luego SE oye gunshot. Al teléfono Detrás, DEVELOPING COUNTRY tipo dicho: "will CORRECTO, will ahora one débarasse itself of that?"

damn you i was going to do this post on the joke, i herd it to day on the radio. yeah it really not all that funny but its still good hahahahha

i like the English to french to english to korean to english version better. he he he!

What I want to knows is why "Developing Country" keeps showing up. And naked?! Why did naked show up? The two hunters are in a tree? How could that not be funny to a person who speaks korean and french and english!?

The one I heard was:

The chicken bumped into the egg inside a nightclub, and they went home that night.

On thing lead to another, and they found themselves in bed.

Later after they were finished, the Chicken rolled over to the egg and said, "I guess we know the answer to 'THAT' question!"


[For those of you that don't get it,
"Which CAME first the chicken or the egg?"]

BTW, this is an adaption of a joke an MP quoted.

hmm now this is weird... :bugeye:

Many jokes submitted contained references to animals. Jokes mentioning ducks were considered particularly funny.

i don't know a single duck joke!

anyone?

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager if they sell duck food. The manager says "No we dont sell duck food this is a hardware store, get out you stupid duck."

The next day the duck comes back and asks the same question this time the manager says "No we dont. If you come in here and ask that question again then il nail your feet to the floor."

The very next day the duck comes in and says "Got any nails?"

The manager says "No we ran out yesterday."

Then the duck says "Got any duck food."

yeah hahahahah :cool:

Heres my favoritie one:

A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver and informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where does he think he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he just doesn't know what to do anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from there and that's where you should be taking them. That will take care of your problem." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.

The next day the officer again sees the pick-up truck once again speeding down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are standing there with sunglasses. The officer pulls over the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!" "I did that," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!":D

Heres some short duck jokes:

Two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. "I know what we're doing wrong," said the first one. "What's that then?" asked the second. "We're not throwing the dogs high enough!"

Would you like a duck egg for supper?
Only if you quack it for me.

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck. You better bring her in to see me straight away.
I can't do that - she's already flown south for the winter.

Belgium joke was suppose to be something like:

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

BTW, something like 6pm on the 7th of October is when everyone is suppose to find jokes funny.... so I'm making that international Serious day at 5:59pm.

BTW, something like 6pm on the 7th of October is when everyone is suppose to find jokes funny.... so I'm making that international Serious day at 5:59pm

It'll be so serious that its funny!:D

lol people...

go Stryderunknown, i like the elephant jokes. i know it was a duck joke but reference to ellyphants is cool.

what did tarzan say when he seen a herd of elephants coming over the hill?
here come the elephants

what did tarzan say when he seen a herd of elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?
nothing... he didn't recognise them

how do you fit 4 elephants into a mini minor car?
2 in the front, 2 in the back

how do you do 4 giraffes into a mini minor car?
you can't... there is already 4 elephants in there

whats worse that getting a pregnant elephant into a mini minor?
getting an elephant pregnant in the back of a mini minor

how do you know if the elephants have gone to a party?
the mini minor's parked out the front

why do elephants paint their gonads red?
so they can hide in the apple trees

how did tarzan die?
picking apples

how many elephants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
two... but we're just trying to workout how they got in there

why do elephants put springs on their feet?
so they can jump in the trees and rape the monkeys

whats the worst sound a monkey can hear?
boing... boing... boing

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but my favourite is,

two baby seals walked into a club/bar

it's an email joke... ya laugh when you get it
:D :D