It's becoming more and more apparent that Canada has a sickening fetish. One that I, as a proud citizen, will no longer stand for. And actually, it's a fetish that amazes me considering just how liberal Canada generally is. Our fetish, my friends? Our fetish is pathetic, poorly written, poorly acted, boringly writen tv series' about 1830-1900 small prairie or maritime towns. Yes friends, our fetish is bad tv programs focusing around boring times in boring areas of a relatively boring nation. And generally, boring people. Who is usually the main (or rather - supposedly 'comic') character? The 12 year old girl.

Road to Avonlea (spelling is likely wrong on this one)
Little House on the Prairie
Wind At My Back
Pit Pony

These are just a few of the shows which Canadian tv station CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) has featured in the last few years. And believe me, there are more. So what brought this to my attention now? An ad from the CBC which began "It's one of the most beloved stories in the world". What's the story? It's called Pollyanne. What's it about?

Good guess.

Come on Canada, can we just move past this sick little obsession of ours? And actually, I have a theory. I don't think a single person watches any of these shows. I mean literally there is no way to tell one from the other and every episode is basically the same. There is no true conflict as the shows depict the time period's worst battles as "Jonathon! Did you steal the pie?"

"No, mam."

"John!"

"Alright mama, I did. But it just looked so tasty!"

"Well alright then Jonathon. Just don't do it again."

"I won't, mama."

Please, if anyone from CBC reads this, do be a big favour and cut loose on your perverted little need for 12 year old girls in 7 piece suits trying to cope with living in 1870's Maritime towns?? Like, can't you just go home and jack off to this idea without actually producing it? Because you sure as hell aren't making these shows for the viewers!