(One single to The Cesspool please.)

What is the best insult you have ever heard/ used?

It's that simple!

I'll start-- the best one I ever heard was:
(2 lads insulting each others mothers)
"Yeah? Well your mum still owes my dog fuck-money!"

And the best I have ever used (repeatedly):
"Your mother had two cunts.
And you're one of them."

Your turn...?

"encule", because not many Americans know what it means. Used properly, it can breed much confusion.

"encule", because not many Americans know what it means. Used properly, it can breed much confusion.

I agree, mon frere.
Half my family is French and it helps to be able to learn swearwords from them.
Plus, it sounds more beautiful cussing someone in Francais, non?

'swearing in french is like wiping your arse with silk..'

Ha Ha very funny Mother ????Fuc#ke?? that's my favorite line anyways

your mom

your mom

Good one. Hey, say 'hi' to your mum and my kids wont you?

The worst insult to a person who deems himself smart, but lacks self-esteem: "You are stupid". It'll eat him up.

Alright... my fault.
I should've called this thread 'The Most Offensive Insults...Ever!'

Come on chaps, what's been the worst one you've ever heard?

Okay, this was actually a deed, not just verbal:
At high-school, a boy threw a rope before me on my table, and said "Use it!" (As in 'hang yourself'.)

'swearing in french is like wiping your arse with silk..'
or "encule"
my favourite, though I would'nt be so rude, is. "the most intelligent thing to come out of a womans mouth, was einstein c**k"

Okay, this was actually a deed, not just verbal:
At high-school, a boy threw a rope before me on my table, and said "Use it!" (As in 'hang yourself'.)
was you to shocked to make a retort, something like, "at least I'd be better hung then you."

was you to shocked to make a retort, something like, "at least I'd be better hung then you."

No. I was in love with him, but he'd never even look at me other than to criticize me. I made no reply to his insult, only looked down.

If I was there, I would have kicked his lily-livered ass from there to here and back again! :bugeye:

So I was screwing your sister, and she stuck her finger in my ass. I was like, what the fuck? And she goes, what, [name of person your insulting] likes it.

go and take your head for a wobble.

hehehehehehehehehehehehe.

On Dr. Phil a man told his wife...."Shut your suck hole you bitch!!!!!!!!!"

Your momma is so fat, she takes posters not pictures.

your sister knows when your mums on her rags because your dick taste different.....
....Gets the whole family at once, except for the father that left them years ago......

You momma bigger than elephant. Your daddy older than dinosaur. Your sister got so much weave in her head, she grew a snout and hooves of a horse on her feet, and now she look like a minataur.

".....Says you Face" or the classic one " I know you are but what am I" :D

the best insult is to simply ignore someone. What greater insult is there than to deny their existence?

Your momma is so fat, she takes posters not pictures.

YOUR mama so old, bitch got powdered milk comin' out her titties.

Saw your mama kickin' a box down the street. I said What you doin'?
Bitch said 'Movin'.

mess with me mother fucker

last nite i raped ure brothers mother

Lick the cheese from around my purple-headed custard chucker!

You're momma so damn big and fat, Nasa will use her to fix the hole in the ozone layer.

These are pathetic! Well, some are pretty good.

Here are my favorites:

Yo mama's so fat, her grad picture is an aerial photograph!

Yo mama's so dumb, she stries to drown a fish!

Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's liscence!

Yo mama's so poor, I walked through her front door and was in the back yard!

Yo mama's so old, her lifetime memberships expired!

Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and she died!

And yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome-back party!

Thank you very much, I'll be here all week.

You, sir, are an insult to humanity. Please roll over in a corner somewhere and die.

That's a good'n, especially when they have no idea what the fuck that means.

A pretty good insult is when you are drinking at a party with some moron, punch him in the back of the head real hard.

Hopefully he'll collapse and you won't get in a fist fight. Then drag him into a corner and piss on him.

Not that I've ever done this. My friend told me about it.

your uncles a hunchback

so's your ma, when i finished with her!!!

ps:oly joking...thread humour.

I'll skin your tits of you fucking shit fuck

You work hard I see but you are always in debt.

John smith is a twat.

I think simplicity form the best kind of insult.

Thank you foamy the squirrel: (in response to someone who says "well i f*cked yo mom last night") "look that dumb@ss strait in the eye and say 'well that's too bad, while you were wasting your time trying getting laid by old ladies, i carved out your mother's eyesockets with a razor blade then sold her blind @ss as a bondage slave to the japanese mafia and they've been shoveing flesheating carrion ants up her @ss and videotaping it for internet broadcasting' If that doesn't do it tell them you've carved your name on the inside of your mother's uterus while she was having oral sex with the family dog."

Poop is someone's shoes, like if they take them off and put different ones in, like in gym class.
Make sure you put the poop in the tip of the shoe (use a stick or something), so that they don't know it's in there, until they put them on.
Don't make a sound, until everyone else starts laughin'. That way it's impossible for him to tell who did it.
Revenge is sweet, no?

F^ck You! Is hands down the best insult ever. And let us not forget the work F^ck is the most universal word in the human vocabulary.

Have ye not heard of "Adam Sandlers - Uses of the word F^ck"

I hate "Yo Mamma" jokes becuase the possiblity are endless and it just assinine.
The best insult would have to be something short and sweet. The longer an insult, the more creative one can be with it... thus leaving the possiblitys them endless.

And let us not forget the comebacks:
"Takes one to know one"
"I know you are but what am I"
and let us not forget about classic 'Sienfield':
""The jerk store called, they're running out of you""Well you're there all time best seller""

The you got your "Witty" comeback, where once again, the possibiltys are endless.

All in all...

I would have to say the best insult would have to be "Giving someone the middle finger".... What can you do to top that.... No one ever had anything to say after getting the bird fliped at them.... how are they ever going to top that? Take off thier shoe and sock, stick thier feet in the air and give me the middle toe? Ha, I would like to see you try. :)

Why you're so repulsive even your mum won't do you, and she does everyone! even your dad!

Hey, is that your face, or did your neck throw up?

"You're so full of shit, the toilet's jealous."

Or if used before an ass-whoopin': "You're so full of shit, I think I should flush you!"

- N

1)Cunt=voted the most offensive swearword
2)Motherfucker=2nd most indsulting, and coming in third is the good old
3)FUCK.

"I've come to this battle of twits unarmed."

gets everyone in the room

"I would like to see your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up your ass"

"Yo momma is so fat, that when a car hit her, she said 'aye who through that rock?' "

I like the old classic

"Your mama is so ugly, people roll her face in dough to make gorilla cookies"

I just say " I see the arkansas public schools have done their good job"

"Next time you take a piss, I hope you zip your dick up."

These insults are great, more please :P

your mom

if you keep my mom out of this, I'll keep this out of your mom.

Doesn't work for me since I'm a girl and all, but I've heard guys say it. It's pretty crafty.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out on its own.

I like to piss people off, and then turn to someone and start talking. when you are interrupted, simply turn looking as though you are confused about why they are still there, and say "go away" (kind of like you are done with them), then turn back to the person you were talking to.

it pisses people off when you act like you won the argument, whether you did or not.

and if you can't think of anything to say when you turn back to your friend, simply say to your friend "damn, where was I" and turn back to the person you told to go away, and say "get lost, you're fucking up my peripheral vision".

"your mother has a glass titty with a screw on nipple."

mess with me mother fucker
last nite i raped ure brothers mother


That was so stupid it was funny. I literally laughed out load. :D

That was so stupid it was funny.
Welcome to the cesspool... the magic land of miraculously ridiculous stupidity. I hope you enjoy your stay.

The best part you you ran down your mama's leg.
or:
You're a cunt sandwich without the bread.

Mine have to be:

You're a cunt

Fuck off bawbag

I'm about to toe fuck you

shut your arse and give your mouth a chance

I think Skakeseare had the best insults, to wit:
Go bathe thyself, thou bootless, addlepated clotpole! or
Get thee gone thou churlish, beef witted flap-dragon.
Get the insult generator here: http://www.petelevin.com/shakespeare.htm

Or real ones: "Your bait of falsehood takes this carp of truth."
[Thou art] the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth.
[Thy] kiss is comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.
more here: http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

One I heard yesterday:
"If you don't shut up I'm gonna hate you in the arse!"

I think my personal favourite would have to be "How appropriate you fight like a cow" in response to "You fight like a dairy farmer"
Ahh good memories....

"Fuck you, I did." is a succint double-entendre.

I saw this written on the inside of the door of a porta-potty I recently did some business in. It said.....

Shhhh! Be very, very quiet. I'm giving birth to a terrorist.

or "You're the exact reason why there is abortion still today."

i use it on my friends just messin around

Thou shalt not commit thread necromancy.