Poor Player
10-26-06, 04:17 PM
The Ass’s Boll Weevil (A Satire on The Axis Of Evil)
The Axis of Evil is perhaps George W. Bush’s signature phrase. He has used evil in the world in the form of both global terrorism and rogue nations who are pursuing nuclear weapons to his great benefit. His “mushroom cloud” endorsement of the primary risk of a nuclear attack on a major U.S. city capitalized on the fear of a nation still reeling from the attacks it suffered on 9/11. But those evils may pale in comparison to the political, economic, and environmental damage we are doing to ourselves every single day with a slowly self-destructive energy dependence on oil.
I stood “shocked and awed” while listening to a recent radio broadcast saying that SUV sales had rebounded with the recent drop in gas prices. Do people really think oil prices have stabilized never to see three dollars a gallon again? Even if they have for a while who do we get our oil from these days? Other than Canada and Mexico our chief trading partners are Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Nigeria, Angola, Iraq, and Russia. Iran is not on the list but is a major oil producing nation for other western countries. Not a single one of these countries would shed a tear if the U.S. was nuked off the map tomorrow. The oil companies however would cry a river because though they are multinational empires now their best customers are Americans.
Also note this morning that Texas-base Exxon Mobil reported net profit for the most recent quarter of $10.49 billion up 13% from last year‘s profits while gas prices hit all time highs. That’s for three months work folks. It was the second highest quarterly profit ever for an American company. That’s while many were checking their sofas everyday for gas money. I have come to believe that between the military industrial complex profiting in the Middle East and big oil profiting in our back yard we are being eaten alive, slowly, and from within…..as if by insects.
You see, not only do we line the oil companies pockets so they can lobby against the average American’s interest in Washington, but we contribute to corrupt regimes where the oil is drilled, and continually add to the prospect that the globe is becoming warmer as a result of our reckless consumption and the mass production of hydrocarbons in the atmosphere. Hey, it’s a three for one sale folks!
I think we should rename our oil man President’s signature phrase to The Ass’s Boll Weevil. The Boll Weevil (or Anthonomous Grandis) was an evil little insect that entered the U.S. through Texas and spread rapidly in the 1920’s devastating the U.S. cotton crop as it laid it’s infectious larvae throughout the South. It would lay it’s eggs inside the cotton plant and as the larvae grew to adulthood they would eat the plant to death and then move on to the next one. State by state they tore through the crops like a slow moving hurricane and ate all the cotton crops.
The insect infestation caused widespread economic damage to the U.S. and threw many a farmer and worker into bankruptcy and ruin contributing to The Great Depression. One good thing came out of the plague. People learned to wean themselves off cotton and to develop other cash crops for survival in the South. They planted peanuts and other crops that were not susceptible to insects and other maladies like soil erosion.
The term Boll Weevil even became a political label for conservative Southern Democrats who opposed The Civil Rights movement. Several of them even ran for President on a third party ticket thus damaging their own party rather than help create a new era of equality by supporting the Civil Rights of their own fellow Southerners. What kind of a dysfunctional nation would we be now if the Civil Rights movement had failed? See any parallels here to our self-destructive energy policy?
What would happen if we had an energy crop that didn’t indirectly support terrorists or rogue nations? What if we led the world in the creation of new alternative energy technologies? How much better off would we be if we benched our military industrial complex, big oil, and their puppets in Washington and made them play second string while new leaders took over for a while and worked hard to create every incentive within reason to decrease our dependency on oil-rich nations, big oil companies, and all the bodyguards who have to protect us now because of our own nasty little oil habits.
I find it highly ironic that a peanut farmer President named Carter was the last one faced with such a ridiculous predicament in trying to keep us from destroying ourselves with the evils of oil consumption. In creating incentives for better gas mileage in our cars he pulled us out of our tailspin for a while. The old farmer from the South knew that common sense required us to be more careful with such an economically and politically combustible energy source and that we had become vulnerable to attack on both fronts from our global enemies.
Congressmen of any party who support big oil and big defense to the destruction of America’s best interests at home and abroad are the new Boll Weevils.
It’s time for us to switch to a different crop of leaders in Congress who are not vulnerable to the swarm of insect-like big money groups and their suicidal strategies. It is time to eradicate The Ass’s Boll Weevils.

The Axis of Evil is perhaps George W. Bush’s signature phrase. He has used evil in the world in the form of both global terrorism and rogue nations who are pursuing nuclear weapons to his great benefit. His “mushroom cloud” endorsement of the primary risk of a nuclear attack on a major U.S. city capitalized on the fear of a nation still reeling from the attacks it suffered on 9/11. But those evils may pale in comparison to the political, economic, and environmental damage we are doing to ourselves every single day with a slowly self-destructive energy dependence on oil.
I stood “shocked and awed” while listening to a recent radio broadcast saying that SUV sales had rebounded with the recent drop in gas prices. Do people really think oil prices have stabilized never to see three dollars a gallon again? Even if they have for a while who do we get our oil from these days? Other than Canada and Mexico our chief trading partners are Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Nigeria, Angola, Iraq, and Russia. Iran is not on the list but is a major oil producing nation for other western countries. Not a single one of these countries would shed a tear if the U.S. was nuked off the map tomorrow. The oil companies however would cry a river because though they are multinational empires now their best customers are Americans.
Also note this morning that Texas-base Exxon Mobil reported net profit for the most recent quarter of $10.49 billion up 13% from last year‘s profits while gas prices hit all time highs. That’s for three months work folks. It was the second highest quarterly profit ever for an American company. That’s while many were checking their sofas everyday for gas money. I have come to believe that between the military industrial complex profiting in the Middle East and big oil profiting in our back yard we are being eaten alive, slowly, and from within…..as if by insects.
You see, not only do we line the oil companies pockets so they can lobby against the average American’s interest in Washington, but we contribute to corrupt regimes where the oil is drilled, and continually add to the prospect that the globe is becoming warmer as a result of our reckless consumption and the mass production of hydrocarbons in the atmosphere. Hey, it’s a three for one sale folks!
I think we should rename our oil man President’s signature phrase to The Ass’s Boll Weevil. The Boll Weevil (or Anthonomous Grandis) was an evil little insect that entered the U.S. through Texas and spread rapidly in the 1920’s devastating the U.S. cotton crop as it laid it’s infectious larvae throughout the South. It would lay it’s eggs inside the cotton plant and as the larvae grew to adulthood they would eat the plant to death and then move on to the next one. State by state they tore through the crops like a slow moving hurricane and ate all the cotton crops.
The insect infestation caused widespread economic damage to the U.S. and threw many a farmer and worker into bankruptcy and ruin contributing to The Great Depression. One good thing came out of the plague. People learned to wean themselves off cotton and to develop other cash crops for survival in the South. They planted peanuts and other crops that were not susceptible to insects and other maladies like soil erosion.
The term Boll Weevil even became a political label for conservative Southern Democrats who opposed The Civil Rights movement. Several of them even ran for President on a third party ticket thus damaging their own party rather than help create a new era of equality by supporting the Civil Rights of their own fellow Southerners. What kind of a dysfunctional nation would we be now if the Civil Rights movement had failed? See any parallels here to our self-destructive energy policy?
What would happen if we had an energy crop that didn’t indirectly support terrorists or rogue nations? What if we led the world in the creation of new alternative energy technologies? How much better off would we be if we benched our military industrial complex, big oil, and their puppets in Washington and made them play second string while new leaders took over for a while and worked hard to create every incentive within reason to decrease our dependency on oil-rich nations, big oil companies, and all the bodyguards who have to protect us now because of our own nasty little oil habits.
I find it highly ironic that a peanut farmer President named Carter was the last one faced with such a ridiculous predicament in trying to keep us from destroying ourselves with the evils of oil consumption. In creating incentives for better gas mileage in our cars he pulled us out of our tailspin for a while. The old farmer from the South knew that common sense required us to be more careful with such an economically and politically combustible energy source and that we had become vulnerable to attack on both fronts from our global enemies.
Congressmen of any party who support big oil and big defense to the destruction of America’s best interests at home and abroad are the new Boll Weevils.
It’s time for us to switch to a different crop of leaders in Congress who are not vulnerable to the swarm of insect-like big money groups and their suicidal strategies. It is time to eradicate The Ass’s Boll Weevils.