This is in response to Happeh's insinuous accusation that I can't come up with a conspiracy theory as good as his. Well, he's probably right. I certainly hope that this thread doesn't run to a hundred pages, and I don't have the time to make this post too long, but I hope it shows what it ought to show. Hence: ------ Dearest breathren, we are gathered here today so that I may alert you to the greatest danger ever to face mankind. Many people are not aware of this danger. These sheeple are the fools who watch TV and read the news, thinking that they're informed when all they're absorbing is government propoganda. But by reading this you show yourself to be more discerning - you don't want to think like the government wants you to. Congratulations, comrade, for this is the first step - to stop thinking like everyone else. Once you are aware of the danger you will, for the first time in your life, be free of the propoganda you've been fed and able to think for yourself(1). The danger, breathren, is global warming. Read this, this or this if you're not convinced. There are some who deny that global warming is caused by humans, or that it's happening at all. They are the government-run media who don't want you to know what's going on. The truth is much more sinister. Of course global warming isn't caused by the likes of us - our SUVs and our factories - because we wouldn't want to turn most of our planet into lifeless desert. The idea is absurd. But there is one group who would not hesitate to engineer this tragedy. There is one group who actually live in a perpetual winter so bitter that they would not hesitate to bring global warming about - the Eskimoes. How they managed to hide the fact for so long is testament to their impressive strangehold on the media. On the face of it it's obvious - only foul creatures who lived in a frozen wasteland would actually want things to get warmer. But now - now you know their secret, and together we will begin to untangle the web of lies they have created. We will see why it all happened. First, you must realise that there is nothing an Eskimo won't do for their cause. They believe they are the chosen, special, the upper race. Again an obvious secret, and it's right under your nose(2). Why is it that of all the directions, north, south east and west, north always face up on maps and globes? It is obvious that these most northern northeners see themselves above all others. There is no way you can argue with them, no way they will see reason, because to them, you are not human. And though they are a small group themselves, they have many allies. The Soviets also live in cold areas. They are sympathetic to the Eskimo cause. The Eskimoes are obviously controlling them. And I'm sure you can see the truth that this unveils - the Eskimoes are the original evil communists. In fact, they infiltrated Russia and started communism! Communism, that dictatorial regime which led to millions of murders. Long before Communism, Eskimo-controlled imperial Russia was a waning power. They realised that they needed to buy into the up and coming superpower, the USA. So they made Russia sell Alaska to America. Do you know how much gold and oil there is in Alaska? The land is worth trillions. But Russia sold it for the equivalent of $4 a square kilometre. Then the Eskimoes were inside America, they were citizens, and they started taking control. The enemy was within. In order to hide the fact that the USSR and the USA were ruled by the same group (even the names are similar) the Eskimoes brought about the Cold War. Isn't that a odd name? I guess they think they're funny, just like they thought they were so clever that we'd never find the truth. The Cold War, like all the other wars the Eskimoes have engineered (Hundred years war, WW I, WW II, WW III, etc.) created massive amounts of pollution which furthered their goal of global warming. Of course the pollution was much worse after the industrial revolution - another Eskimo plot which caused endless suffering to the common southerner! Dickens wrote about the suffering and the workhouses, and he died. Yes, there are people dying in our own southerly countries and these despicable Eskimoes get away with it! How is this relevant to us, you may ask? Apart from the imminent threadt of global warming, it is true that these wars are a thing of the past. But the influence of the Eternal Eskimo is felt everywhere. Everybody knows that the war in Iraq is over oil. Oil is a fossil fuel. Fossil fuels cause global warming. Even worse, if America didn't have enough oil it might start digging up the oil fields in Alaska, and this would offend the ever territorial, colonialist Eskimo. And have any of you wondered why there are no native Anteskimoes(3) living in the Antarctic? Nuclear testing and genocide ... such ugly words. But the hole in the Ozone Layer hovers there ever as proof. And while the Eskimoes are stirring the world to another pollution-producing war over the cartoons they manipulated the Danes into printing, they themselves don't know the meaning of free speech. When did you last see a cartoon lampooning the Eskimo religion? Or a Hollywood film? No one has ever managed to produce such a thing without being silenced, vilely, by the Eskimo agents that exert control worldwide. Some of you may close your eyes to this, and say it sounds ridiculous. What can I say? Sometimes the Eskimoes win. But those of you who wish to know the truth, will know from now on how every move of importance in this world, every mean tactic, is guided by the vile Arctic Agenda. By the iron fist of the Eternal Eskimo. ------ No Eskimoes were harmed in the making of this propoganda. Text is redistributable but anyone who doesn't find it funny (or believes in this rubbish) forfeits the right to copy it. footnotes: (1) Even better, you'll think like me. (2) Assuming you're sniffing an atlas. (3) Haven't heard of them? The media hushed it up.
------ Poor fool, that's what they want you to think. You are obviously not a true scientist. Have you ever seen an ozone hole around your fridge? Of course not. You just believe what you are told, like all sheeple. But I forgive you, because I have a big heart(1). (1) In a big jar. Ain't that much room 'twixt sternum and spine. ------
I have a question. Eskimos are almost always drunk off listerine or lysol, or from huffing the gasoline in their snowmachines. They're also politically inept and wholly avoided & unemployed. They kill themselves frequently, usually by eating their hunting rifle. So, seeing as how they're useless degenerates, what makes you so convinced they're up to anything but figuring out how to pay for this night's 40?
------ It's all a facade. Everytime people question them they squeal 'unemployment', as if they're the only people who've ever been unemployed. But look at how many people they don't employ. Double standards? ------
Oh my God. Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God. Oy my God. It all makes sense. Think about it: fossil fuels...ozone damage...global warming...Arctic warming...suddenly, as the rest of the planet becomes an uninhabitable desert, the Inuit are inundated with a heat spell which - if I'm not mistaken, and I never am - unfreezes their soil and brings an incredible "Arctic bloom". Suddenly hundreds of thousands - nay, millions - of square miles of land is arable and/or opened up for easy mining and WHO has the land rights to all this?? The God-damned Eskimos. I see it all now. There'll be miles and miles of stony, marshy coastline suddenly transformed into the most prime beach-front property in the entire world and who has the land rights? The God-damned Eskimos. Oh, you laugh now - but when you're on your knees begging for herring scraps you'll sing a different Inuit chant my pretty. The Eskimos will have plenty of time to think about world domination once they drop those 30-odd words they've got for snow and learn "bling-bling" and "Lizardoid"...or maybe it would be "Sealoid". Well I say: I meekly bow down to our Inuit overlords and I await orders to hunt out traitors to their new Thousand-Year Regime of Terror. Unsincerely, Geoff 'Brockman' PS: I likes the Inuit people. In fact, I'm ratting Zephyr out first. Sorry mate.
Hmm, too bad Happeh got suspended from the SciForums. Would like to see how he would respond to this post. [Renrue]
DOES THE pipe line really contain oil? Gas prices are so high yet with the amount of oil the pipe line can bring gas would be 1.50 in every state don’t ask for sources I am smart I know. Its a secret way for eski’s to go from base to base I have seen the pipe line tram that transports the Evilskimos up and down alaska. When its not being used for the eskiarmy it erects to be the biggest antenna in existence. Which allows them to communicate with the eskimos home base on pluto. Much bigger plans are in the works Like enlarging the sun so pluto will be like the great planet earth. Just wait to see what the satellite shows when it passes by pluto it will prove me right then you’ll rue the day you never listened. It will be to late then. The land bridge is still there they just berried it under all that water which they are going to get more of from global warming. Then we will never be able to bomb it under all the water. That land bridge allows for rapid deployment of the eskimo army back and forth from the americas to asia. ITS called a bridge for GOSH SAKES people open your eyes. Do you know what they do with whale skin?? Its put over their subs so they can infiltrate into American waters. In fact whenever you see whales going into areas like the sandiego bay they are doing surveillance. There was a fire in the woods that burned down the trees. Everyone got out alive but the fire did its damage to the environment. Bodies of woodland creatures were found at the scene of the fires. ARE YOU BLIND!!
Okay.. I am in second year university chemistry and I have actually done an ozone -> oxygen CFC decomposition test, so your sarcasm was a proverbial "swing and a miss", yes? Now it was a well thought out "facade" I'll give you that, but it lacks everything the 9/11 conspiracy has (witnesses, fake witnesses (aka that guy who saw the pentagon plane crash claiming he clearly saw an AA logo), video evidence, lack of video evidence (FBI confiscations), and a whole lot of other unnamed shit). A bunch of engineers in the engineering community called foul in the WTC collapse and then shutup about it soon after because I highly doubt the secret service enjoys people disagreeing with them.. So if this is in fact a true conspiracy, you'll be getting a phone call too telling you to shutup. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
If he sees this thread when he returns he may accuse me of attacking him behind his back. But if I hadn't posted it I'd probably be accused of not taking up his challenge. Of course - writing this kind of stuff doesn't take much thought; just a very rigid stance and a big ego. With a dash of random data like this thread on CFCs. It's a parody of 'Zionists/Illuminati/Freemasons are taking over the world!'. I don't have enough information to comment on 9/11, but that wasn't the thread's goal Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! The point was that if you pick and choose your mental connections sufficiently, you can gather 'evidence' for something that's completely false. Admittedly there's less 'evidence' (e.g. on the Internet) for an Eskimo conspiracy than a Zionist/Illuminati/Freemason conspiracy, but that's because those other ideas are a lot older and well known. Which is just one more strike against their validity - anyone who's been 'taking over the world' for that many centuries must be really slow, or they'd have done it already. Then again, I think anyone would have to be crazy to want to rule the world, considering the mess it's in. ------ Iknewit! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! See! Their secrets are hidden even within their name! ------
