The 1st spuriousmonkey's Sciforum awards


best poster - the best poster is a typical example of a poster who is in touch with their innerself and shows courage and ingenuity beyond normal expectations in their posting habits.

Nominees are:

Arditezza
It took some time to find her place, but now it seems she is the voice of reason of sciforums (and beautiful eyes too! - extra points for that - i'm not sexist at all!).

Spuriousmonkey
because apparently you have to nominate yourself.

Kunax
he has shown great sense of humour, has been nominated for funniest post on sciforums at one point, and still manages to participate in serious scientific discussions.

Dr Lou Natic
Has been the controversial voice of sciforums since he became a member. He is consistent in his opinions and honest about them and goes through great lengths to back them up. When he feels like it. And let's be honest. This is not school. Do whatever you want to do.

Thor
For consistently not managing to produce a single serious post. Well, maybe a few.

Invert nexus
For willingness to discuss for sake of discussion and the remote chance of something new and good coming out a discussion.

Fraggle rocker
For always being a great source of interesting and helpful information on almost any topic. If only he would swear more!

James R.
For being the best moderator. No...wait. That disqualifies him as best poster.

RosaMagika
For giving out the best joints in scivillage and offering us a different, more philosophical view on all matters.

Athelwulf
because he (or she) consistently doesn't want to be be part of the worst poster group and persistency is a great characteristic of a good poster. Also Atherwulf is very smart and opinionated for 16 years of age

Path
The sexiest poster on sciforums and therefore automatically qualified for the position of best poster.

Asguard
Because apparently he is a great debator. If he disagrees, he disects your reasoning and proves to you your flawed logic. He does it so well too! To see for yerself, look at his posts in this thread.
http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=39193 (so far these reasons have been suggested by Athelwulf - the remainder have been suggested by our unbiased panel of specialists)
Also Asguard is from Australia and there can never be enough attention going to australia. Who even knows here the name of the head of government of australia? Anyone? Also, it has only about 20 million inhabitants, but they are currently 4th on the medal list of the olympics!!! Can you imagine that. And they have kangaroos. In all, enough reasons to nominate Asguard!!!!

John Connellan
Because he loves cats and possibly also kittens. This is an excellent quality for a poster to have because life on a forum is very much like living with cats. It is hours of boredom (cats are sleeping) alternated by short moments of mayhem (cats are tearing up the place). Also John is very well informed on biological topics and he never really seems to step over the line that separates good behaviour from misbehaviour.

mis-t-highs
Because she is willing to have my babies.

More nominations will (might follow). And as you can see. The list is absolutely not biased at all.

Worst Poster

Everybody who isn't nominated for best poster is automatically nominated for worst poster.

Wow. Two award nominations. I'm stunned. I'm speechless. I mean... wow. I want to thank my mother for giving birth to a genius. And my father for contributing his sperm to the task. Of course, I must also thank my fellow conversationalists past and present. You all know who you are. Give yourselves a big round of applause. Last but not least, I'd like to say that should I win the highly coveted SpuriousMonkey Sciforum Award, I would use it's power and prestige only for good. I would feed the starving children of the world. And employ the unemployed. Build towering skyscrapers to house the homeless. And kill all marketing executives.

Thank you.

You are all my bitches, bitches.

You are all my bitches, bitches.

that is why you were not nominated. We were already aware that we all are your bitches. There is no need to nominate the overlord.

Why am I the worst poster? And am I THE worst? Or am I better than other posters, but not good enough to be a "best poster"? Please elaborate . . .

I would be rather proud if I had been the worst poster. It would be the first time I would excel in something.

I am at awestruk by spuriousmonkey's mad skill at picking posters, im speachless.

Save that for your winners speech.

Ahem. I'm still confoosed up in herre! Someone please explain to me why I'm the worst poster, and if I'm THE worst poster.

Oh, and why did you nominate yerself, spuriousmonkey?

Ahem. I'm still confoosed up in herre! Someone please explain to me why I'm the worst poster, and if I'm THE worst poster.

Oh, and why did you nominate yerself, spuriousmonkey?

It says:

because apparently you have to nominate yourself.


it is some kind of sarcasm thing in response to theheds awards.


Edit - you are now nominated for best poster. I hope it makes you happy.

whats wrong with worst poster anyway, can I have the worst gramma award?, if not i start to post unedited, does threats work?

Aww, I'm touched. Yes, it does make me happy! How can I repay you?

Btw, I'm a he. Just so ya know.

On the internet you could be a she if you wanted to. I think you want to be a she.

hmm, i dont see my name on the list, something must be wrong here

can i at least get nominated for most spastic poster

Originally Posted by Kunax
I think you want to be a she.

What's that supposed to mean?

im confused

What's that supposed to mean?


It does not mean anything, just that if you want you can be a woman, you can and no one would be the wiser, do you? :)

no-one online that is, but anyone who sees u in real life will spot the adams apple

Originally Posted by vslayer
. . . anyone who sees u in real life will spot the adams apple

Among other things, you mean?

And no, Kunax, I don't wanna be a woman, even if I can be (if that's what yer askin').

Should we have best female and male poster or is that sexist?

And should we possibly have the best female imposter poster award too then? And vice versa

No it's not sexist to have best female and male poster. Don't you watch the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards?

Give it a go monkey man. Only 1 problem, imposters dont like being pull out, so how will you find them

And how can we make it so they're still imposters when we've given them the award?

The sexiest male poster would have to be me, I look like a young Marlon Brando, only older and fatter.

I've added path as nominee for best poster because if you are the most sexy poster you must also be eligible for best poster.

If you can't dazzle them with content confuse them with your appearance.

When is THE BEST poster chosen? We just have nominees now. And do I hafta come to the awards ceremony in a tux? Or is it a casual affair?

This is the award ceremony for the people by the people so a tux is not required.

Okay, but what about my first question?

Maybe there is no answer yet, or maybe there is, but I am sitting on it until the time is right to release it.

I would like to nominate Asguard, because he is a great debator. If he disagrees, he disects yer reasoning and proves to ya it's flawed logic. He does it so well too! To see for yerself, look at his posts in this thread.

I added Asguard. See the first post in this thread for the reasons why.

:o I'm flattered that ya quoted me!

. . . Oh, wait. Ya changed my ya's and yer's. Now no one can tell I said it . . .

I have to have my standards. No ya's and yer's.

Aww . . .

I made an alteration though. I mention you.

:o I am once again flattered!

Oh, I see that I am nominated. Now I can be even more rosily full of myself. :)


I would like to nominate John Connellan for best poster because he loves cats (among other things).

2nd Rosa nomination, Cats a better.

Seconding is only an requirement in Dr Lou's award thread. I will add him.

hehe ups, i blame it on the rain clouds

shit..cesspool...

lol ot this rate you be back to 1000 post in no time :)

yes, I think I lost 50 posts in a day!!!

hehe -11 more, im sure you where at 9650 when i posted my last msg

why was'nt I chosen, I'll have your babies, spurious.

(I know this is kinda self-absorbed, but . . .)

. . . Spuriousmonkey? Could ya, um, please add that I am very smart and opinionated for 16 years of age? Purdy please? Yer such a great monkey! Such a wonderful monkey!

(Try imagining Cartman saying that. That's the tone I'm going for. :D)

why was'nt I chosen, I'll have your babies, spurious.

I have added you, because you deserve to be nominated for best poster. Congrats!

Could ya, um, please add that I am very smart and opinionated for 16 years of age?


Consider it done. In fact it is done.

Dearest spurious-m-onkey,
could you please add me to your list as i have never been nominated for anything in my life, something like coolest avatar or greatest Scotsman would be cool.
Nice monkey, good monkey pretty monkey

goddam, when am i ever get nominated for one of these things? HAHA
also, should people not be voting or something, as opposed to just nominating even more 'peeps'.
?

i nominate unsound to: most unlogical poster that jumps to the end of threads with out reading them.

what makes you say that?

since everybody without a nomination is automatic one of the worst posters there is no need for voting.

Fuck, I am also not nominated. :(

Someone has to die for this.

good point.

i nominate Dreamwalker so no one has to die with out reason

Dear Best posters nominees and wannabe nominees,

I will update at a later date because at the moment I am trying to get my thesis ready for printing.

sincerely yours,

spuriousmonkey

The best poster is Dr Lou.


applause...



bye....

haha, kidding...


we all won...

Well that was anticlimactic . . .

Why? had you written your speech already?

What if I had?

Btw . . . I haven't seen ya around very often til now. What's up? How was yer Christmas? Got any New Year's resolutions? Do ya still hate pandas?

. . . I knew this place was missing something (or rather, someone) . . .

I was in south america. Hence the lack of internet time. Now I am in Finland staying at the GFs place. Had my xmas with her. I still don't have a computer for myself or a job with free internet access and time to kill, so I can't be online to much...


and yes pandas still suck...but not for long...soon they will be extinct.

wow. that was a blast from the past. i seem to have made a fan with that thread. i am guessing its Athelwulf:p stop it you make me blush :o

Glad to be of service, Asguard. :)

Spurious . . . Tell us how ye'r future is looking. Is it so bright ya hafta wear shades?

We've been needing ya to liven up this place, for it seems we are in our "biannual slump", as Thor puts it. And now ye'r here! Ye'r our savior! *Gives spurious big hug*

. . . Sorry 'bout that gay moment there. It's just that I'm so overjoyed!

. . . Sorry, I'll stop.

. . . :D

B\W athel im sure i read in that embarasing moments thread that you were a girl
:p Now i cant find it. GRRRRRRRRRRR

hmmm if it wasnt you that made that post who was it?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. I don't remember making such a post.

Maybe ye'r thinking of whitewolf.

possably. i apologise
you know what athel, we should start another DP thread. i love debating those. the thread you quoted as my best i was so angry in i am surprised i was at all coherant:p

DP? I'm sorry, I'm not good with abbreviations . . . But sure!

death penelty

and incase you cant guess i always debate negitive for it. Altho sometimes i like to play devils advocate. I spent a whole year debating with a "christan" that god didnt exist only to turn around and debate with someone else the other way simply because they were both acting like there view were the only ones that matter or could be right.

i love debating. thats why i came here in the first place and i miss the only days when i could could come on here and find 20 good debates raging all at the same time

Go ahead, if ya want. It might liven up the place.

Btw, it seems as if we have the same view on the issue . . . If I'm reading yer post right. Ye'r against it, right?

. . . Sorry, it's just late, is all.

yea im against it. i miss sky, she and i had that debate runing for weeks. she is for it and im against and we played off eachother for so long.

*moment silence for the fallen*

Spurious . . . Tell us how ye'r future is looking. Is it so bright ya hafta wear shades?




indeed..running almost out of money already...soon we can go and shovel shit for a living.

mmm...money

you nutter....

hmmm....nuts...

So when are the next Annual Spuriousmonkey awards?

2026.

I'm too quite to be nominated for anything. Hell, I am on spring break and I am not doing much.

I'm too quite to be nominated for anything. Hell, I am on spring break and I am not doing much.

too quite what?