Rental Inspections and the Art of Cleaning?

I moved out and got a rental property early last year. Having being a landlord before; I'm now on the other side and get a regular taste of intermttent tenant stress.

This morning I was awakened early by the agent just confirmning if it would be OK to pop over in few hours to conduct the quaterly inspection. 'Yes, naturally' I meekly murmurred through a sleep haze. I'd completely forgotten about it and now sat bolt upright with my senses working overtine.
180 minutes to touch down. The agent is a Cobb (cupboard opening busy body).

My place looked like a bomb had hit it. Called work to say I'd be working from home for a few hours. Yeahh right. Where to start?

hinking now, ractchets getting traction. Put kettle on and do the dishes before it boils; no time for gloves, so burn the crap out of hands. Turn on ceiling fans and leave plates to air dry. Clean up garbage and empty containers and place in bin. Kill anything crawling; use space spray, shoot! left the lid off the milk, Oh well a bit of insecticde in coffee never hurt anyone immediately.

Have coffee; awake now. Collect all strewn clothes, clean and dirty and place all in four drawer filing cabinet; lock. Vaccuum all floors; sweating profusely now; turn on air conditioning and radiohead music. No time to mop tiled kitchen and lounge floors, so put on extra thick explorer thermal socks and dip said feet into floor cleaner bucket. Now skating around room like an idiot; rinse and wring socks in clean water bucket, dip then in floor cleaner and repeat procedure four times.

Use yesterdays' newsaper and windex to polish mirrors, windows and pictures. Too late to clean ceiling fans, just leave them on. Don't think agent can inspect dust accumulation on fans at 120 rpms; maybe.

Visit bathroon and drop blue loo. Flush and then scour wash basin. Think of peeing on the glass shower screen as light acid will remove any soap scum, but decency gets the better of me. Bring out Mr Muscle instead. Job done.

Use air blower to clean out patio and verandah of all leaves. Use vaccuum to relocate Charlotte's webs (thank God for the 1000 attachments). Place vanilla essence in stoneware cup, put oven on 180 degrees for 5 minutes, Nice smell permeates the house. Make beds. Turn on washing machine. Clean microwave of teen spirit. Add insecticided milk to packet cake mix, whisk and place tray in oven. Too hot now to inspect methinks. Have shower, clean off suds.

Finished in nick. Door bells chimes. In walks Attilla the Hen. Conducts 15 minute CSI. Breaks into scowl (gotta find something). UhHuh... outside spa needs vaccuuming and lawn needs a good soak. Both happy now. New freedom for 3 more months.

Does anyone have some time saving tips for any such occasion re-occurrrence? I'm all ears.

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i lived in a rented house for a long time, and they had to by law give notice of when they were due an inspection,

i dont have any time saving tips for you, i just clear up after myself and get the kids to clear up they're messes aswell

 

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LA, you're just too organised as was obvious in Zak's thread. I'm moving to the UK! Cool Avatar change BTW.

 

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i wasnt always that way you know, i was a messy person, the kids did has they wanted, until i did sothing about it,

a tidy house means a tidy mind

 

My little old dutch mum has a delft blue tile hanging in her kitchen saying "This house is clean enough to live in and dirty enough to be happy". It always struck a chord with me, although the irony was never lost on me, as she was fastidious. Us kids could never do the dishes for her as she wouled pre-soak, the wash, rinse ad then dry; Drove us all bonkers. She still is fastidious and we still we can't do dishes at Christmas and we're all adults. Makes me and my siblings laugh and its a good memory.

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lol sounds like my daughter

 

Hire a maid to come in once or twice a week, depending on how dirty you are, and let them clean up for you.

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Don't live like a cockroach. Clean your place regularly and you'll never have too much work to do at one time.
It's where you live, goddammit.

 

that wont always work cosmic, my wife has hours on Friday still doenst make things that much better!!

Carpetdiem word of advcie: Dont ask my wife for tips!!!

 

Inspection?! What kind of police state are you living in? My landlord needed access to the basement once a year to change the furnace filter.

 

Why won't a maid help? It would seem to me that anything would be better than not doing anything at all, which it seems like what was going on with CarpetDiem.:shrug:

 

most people it should help but i dont see that much improvement at my house!!!

 

Then you have a lazy maid and they should be fired if your house isn't any better. Sometimes it takes a few tries before one finds a maid service that is any good.

 

no she is actually alright but my wife is so untidy and dis-orgainised it soon gets back to the usual state!!

 

Well, my landlord trusted me not to live in garbage without inspecting my private possessions. It's none of their business until you move out.

 

Well I did omit some salient facts as I only elect to live like a cockroach for 5 days a fortnight. Firstly I share care of my two teeange sons with my ex. So I don't clean when they're here as I got 9 days to get back on track, so I just enjoy 'em. I do however leave post it notes on walls, fridges, bedrooms and in the bathroom for them and I'm glad to say they're slowly getting it and doing chores (which I make them do in any event), but they're just typical nonchalant male teenagers.

nah...I'm just not sweatin' the small stuff, until I bloody well realised the rental inspection was imminent that morning and had a major sweat, as I just plain forgot. So I turned into last minute man.

I used to have a cleaner when I was married and that was great to come home to a clean house. Things a bit different now, but hey...its all good; its just the same, but different

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most rented places in Uk have landord inspections to make sure your keeping the place clean, tidy and havent punched holes in the walls, or stolen the kitchen, (which has happened)

when i rented my palce it was every 2 months inspections, and i was glad because it meant that i had to keep the place tidy and clean, but its helps carpetdien if you have kids make sure they clean up after themselves

 

LOL! tryin''. My boys are chalk and cheese, one's a hedonist, the other an altruist. They fight relentlessly but somehow just get on and they certainly clean up when I put on my caveman voice, though them being being over 6 feet tall and looking down their noses at my just 6 foot stature, I gotta rely on animal cunning, 'cause the brawn's wearing thin with those buggers. House is spotless though at the minute and I just ate off the floor

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That's pretty fucked. When you leave, they can just charge you to clean up, that's what the security deposit is for.