My friends and I were having a discussion whether or not you are racist if you don't like black girls...guys for the woman out there. Is it wrong not to consider another race of people without getting to know them? Not dating them because they are a different color is racist, right? Then why don't we make a big deal about some people not dating a person of certain hair color. This is also a sort of discrimination too, right?

How about if you don't like dating a person with darker skin, just like you don't like dating someone with red hair or someone that is taller than you?


The focus is labeling someone racist because of their preferences for the opposite sex.

You are a racist if you say you would never date a black girl because she is black. Period.

If you say you would never date a red-haired girl because you do not like red hair, you are extremly prejudiced.

There is a difference between saying:
a. you usually find x more attractive than y (everyone has preferences)
b. you would never date x because of whatever stereotype you have formed (racism/extreme prejudice)

-fc

Originally posted by grazzhoppa
My friends and I were having a discussion whether or not you are racist if you don't like black girls...guys for the woman out there. Is it wrong not to consider another race of people without getting to know them? Not dating them because they are a different color is racist, right? Then why don't we make a big deal about some people not dating a person of certain hair color. This is also a sort of discrimination too, right?

How about if you don't like dating a person with darker skin, just like you don't like dating someone with red hair or someone that is taller than you?

The focus is labeling someone racist because of their preferences for the opposite sex.
No, it's not racist, in normal situations anyway. We all have our preferences in who we choose to date. If some feel that another race is not compatible with them in the dating circle, I see nothing wrong with that.

However, the reasons for not dating outside their race should also be taken into account. For example, there is a big difference between a Latina girl who doesn't click or have much in common with White guys, as compared to a women in the KKK who doesn't date Jews because she thinks they're subhuman...

What about if you don't like someone with dark skin, just because of their skin.....this includes very tanned caucasians. Would that be prejudice?

Originally posted by grazzhoppa
What about if you don't like someone with dark skin, just because of their skin.....this includes very tanned caucasians. Would that be prejudice?
There is a difference between not liking someone with dark skin, as compared to not wanting to date someone with dark skin. Once again though..., the reasons the person has for this way of thinking, must also be taken into account.

Everyone has preferences. Denying them is silly. I fins certain things more attractive than other things, and obviously try to find more of those attractive things in a date rather than less. Personally I think there are attractive girls from everywhere. But there are also butt-ugly girls from everywhere. I recall this one time when I was very drunk in Fremantle...

chickenassshit

:D

You like who you like. Am I a misogynist because I wouldn't date a woman?

And since when was being racist the cardinal sin of all sins?

exactly.
i just wish hitler was allowed to finish what he started!
the world would be such a better place without these frigging kikes

Hitler's problem was that he didn't go far enough. He stuck to wanting to exterminate the Jews. Excuse me? The JEWS? How many fucking Jews are there?

Now if he'd tried to exterminate all the stupid people, he'd be a real hero.

exactly.
i just wish genghis was allowed to finish what he started!
the world would be such a better place without these frigging crackers

I saw a bumper sticker on the way to work this morning: “Love is color blind". That is simply not true. If it were, this topic would not exist, and I would not have a tale to tell.

This thread stirred some uncomfortable memories that I had left buried. Race is an institution that this country refuses to confront in a manner that alleviates the problems that occur within interracial relationships. I dated a black girl when I was 19. I was not gifted with special enlightenment at that tender age, I just found her attractive and I asked her out. We were unable to stay together, and I am ashamed to say that the reason was bigotry. Not by myself or our families or our friends, but by everyday encounters. I was not strong enough to stand up to social pressure.

Interracial dating can expose some of the most painful elements of racism -- and I let our relationship fail because I was overly concerned with strangers' reactions to my choice of girlfriends. The stares, the glares, the verbal attacks, “Why I don’t you just stick to your own kind.” Blacks and whites were equally guilty. Shame on them. I broke up with a wonderful girl because I was weak. I regret it to this day even though, race aside, I don’t believe we would have spent our lives together. I regret it because I was weak and caved to social pressure. I regret it because I hurt an attractive, intelligent woman, and lied to her as to why. She deserved better; shame on me.

There are enough problems in the world already, and I say that people should pursue life-enhancing, life-affirming relationships with whomever they can.

Peace.

__________________
Youth is the first victim of war - the first fruit of peace.
It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man;
it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him.-- King Boudewijn I, King of Belgium (1934-1993)

An Indonesian girl I know used to be terrified of white people. When young, she and her sister had the odd idea that white people would bite and/or eat her. :bugeye: She said that once her parents took them to a city, and it was the first time they saw white folks, and she and her sister just hugged and screamed. Damn funny. :)

ever since the riots
all i really wanted
was a black girlfriend
they don't play around
they're hard enough
to keep any man in line
thinking of my pale white skin
thinking of her dark and smooth
she against me
my black girlfriend
saw her on the corner
where she lived, i asked her
"can you braid my hair?"
she and her girlfriends
laughed at me, said that
"it was easy but it'll cost you some"
looking out her window
it's so exciting and foreign
but i'm staying with
my black girlfriend
drivin' thru the hood
in my chevy nova '62
my arm around my
little black girl
people on the corner
looking in my car
wanna do me
but i won't give her back
my little black girl
"do you wanna come on in?
do you wanna eat some?
meet my family?"
my black girlfriend

pfp - black girlfriend


lmao

Originally posted by goofyfish
We were unable to stay together, and I am ashamed to say that the reason was bigotry. Not by myself or our families or our friends, but by everyday encounters. I was not strong enough to stand up to social pressure.

The same thing happened with me but 4 years younger...so I was still in high school, boy, did we get a lot crap said to us.

That's the reason why I started this...I was questioning whether or not I was racist because I wouldn't date a black girl again, not because the girl is black, but because I wouldn't be able to handle the amount of pressure others put on me.

Off topic a little but....
I believe love is blind because when you love someone, nothing should matter but being with them. According to me, not many people have actually ever loved someone. Something I realized just recently is love takes a while.

edit----

“Why don’t you just stick to your own kind.”
You don't know how many times I heard that....it's very sad.

"why don't you stick to your own kind"

I had the same problem while I was dating. Same problem after I got married. But once we had our child, they more or less left us alone. I'm guessing it's because they see no point in saying it to your face as you already have a family. But that doesn't mean they aren't thinking about it.

Sometimes, you can just tell by their stares...

This site says exactly what goofyfish says
http://www.uictoday.net/vnews/display.v/ART/2002/10/01/3d994696752e4

Diversity is extremely rare where I live. There are a few blacks, a few latinos, a few asian kids, then a few hundred white caucasians. Besides me, I think there's one or two jewish kids, and I believe that they actually practice their religion.

Before I lived in Maine I grew up in Brooklyn, and things were extremely different there, a sweep of the room would garner every race you could ever ask for, the whites might even be the minority. So I was born into diversity, and was never bothered by it. It just comes down to what you consider pretty and what you don't, and this varies from person to person.

I wish I could say the same for my beleagured classmates. Not too many of them have grown up outside of this humble residence, which means that they have had little or no experience with diversity on a large scale. They talk about blacks not necessarily in a derogatory way (they're afraid of being labelled racists of course, fear is all that keeps some of them in check) but as if they are a totally different type of human, like they think differently, act differently, as if they are really different, when in reality all that makes them different is the color of their skin.

It may only be their rampant stupidity, a conversation somehow started up in my "math class for dummies" about what you do if a black person smiles at you. They were dumbfounded, they could hardly grasp the very action of looking at a black person, for fear of them thinking that they were racist, when in reality they were only inexperienced. I simply replied:
"Like any person who smiles at you, you smile back."

When I went on "that cruise" to mexico over july my family and I sat down next to a young black couple, I've gotta confess it had been awhile since I had interacted with anyone of another race, and at first I was a bit uncomfortable, which I regret now more than anything--but fifteen minutes into our conversations I was laughing at their jokes and they were laughing at mine. I remember the woman being especially attractive.

goofy pollux

Originally posted by goofyfish
I saw a bumper sticker on the way to work this morning: “Love is color blind". That is simply not true. If it were, this topic would not exist, and I would not have a tale to tell.

Your story had nothing to do with love. True love is indeed colorblind and I think that slogan is meant to apply on the grand scheme of things.

Originally posted by Datura
Your story had nothing to do with love. True love is indeed colorblind and I think that slogan is meant to apply on the grand scheme of things.An interesting thought, but doesn't The Grand Scheme have to start on a basic level. And I did fall in love with this girl. I'm a "heart on my sleeve" kind of person.

Peace.

Originally posted by grazzhoppa
My friends and I were having a discussion whether or not you are racist if you don't like black girls...

I don't know if that would make him racist but stupid for sure. If you limit yourself you might be missing out. Life is too short to limit who you shag. If someone as attractive as Tyra Banks or Veronica Webb comes my way, it is retarded to say I don't like them because I am not attracted to black girls. :rolleyes:

tyra and the webb girl are practically caucasian looking. why aint halle berry white? is it because after all these fucking years all you gotta have is a single drop of nigger blood and you aint white anymore??

my uncle was born, unlike most of his brothers, a spit image of billy idol..light light skin, bright white hair, blue eyes, you get the picture. My aunt, also white, was a regular at the tanning salon, and she also tanned very easily. When they first started dating they used to get harrassed alot, because next to his pale skin, everyone thought she was black. lol. Eventually, she just cut back on her tanning time to stop the insults.

Personally, i think not dating some becuase of their color is just fine. If your not attracted to them, then your not. I wont date blond men. It doesn't mean i think that blond men are bad people, its just my preferance.

In today's modern teenage society, we have pretty much dumped racism and just discriminate against anything else.

Mind you, I'm 16, and while it probably won't have a permanent affect on me, it seems quite important now.

In today's teen society, it is very dangerous to go out of your click, circle of friends, or whatever. I have my first gf, and while we basically share the same social type, we (originally) had no friends in common, and nobody really expected either of us to get someone.

After we got together, there are the most insensitive people who'd go "What do you see in her". "Whyd you settle for something like that" and so on.

Racism is only race, but I believe my generation gets to redefine it. Of course, racism isn't politically correct, but harassing people of the same race, no lawyer, judge, teacher, or principal gives a damn.

On the actual subject:

We all have preferences. While it probably isn't racist to say "I probably wouldn't go out with a black girl/guy", it probably is to say "I'd NEVER..."

It's interesting that you bring up what the "teenage society" thinks of racism. I'm close to your age and where I'm from, there is always an undertone of racism but it's not enough to cause a serious problem. No one will go up to a black kid and start yelling at them about being black, but it's when they're back is turned a lot of talk is negative about people that aren't white (it includes mexicans, blacks, indians [not the native-american type], an especially asians).

What's even more interesting is that this undertone of racism started after the civil rights movement and the holocaust was taught.

When YoungWriter says that its dangerous to go out of your click I disagree. It might be "dangerous" to how people see you (i.e. your reputation) but for yourself it is beneficial. When dating someone of another race in highschool you will get a lot of crap coming your way because the kids haven't had the opportunity to experience people that are unlike themselves.

But what about when you are out of school?

Originally posted by Joeman
I don't know if that would make him racist but stupid for sure. If you limit yourself you might be missing out. Life is too short to limit who you shag. If someone as attractive as Tyra Banks or Veronica Webb comes my way, it is retarded to say I don't like them because I am not attracted to black girls.
But do you see Tyra Banks as a black person or as a supermodel? What is your first though of her? It is that she is black...or is it that she is a beatiful woman? Is it racist to see her as a black person before you see her as a woman? Someone may find her attractive. Yet the same person might see her as being a different race, and that influences their opinion of her.

How about this....is it racist to not want to be friends with a person (of the same sex) because they are a different race? I think it is. But then why is it not racist to not like women of a different race? Many of you have said it isn't racist because its just a preference...what you like and don't like. I can't understand why. My interpretation might be a little screwy but would you try to explain the difference of being racist when:

Not being friends because they are a different race and
Not dating a person because they are a different race.

Not being friends because they are a different race and Not dating a person because they are a different race.
Both are text book examples of racism. An example of preference would be : Not dating a person because you are not attracted to them.

Racism arises when a stereotype of a race is associated with an individual. That individual is then prejudiced or discriminated against.

"because they are a different race" is always racism.

but what if I am not attracted to a different race? ;)

I now think that isn't being racist.

But will people label you racist because of your preference? I guess that depends on where you are from and your place in society.

P.S. when you see a black woman or when you first see someone not of your race, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Would you consider it wrong to think of the color of the person before anything else?

I dont see how its "being racist" when its your type. I dont like most black girls because they aren't my type. Ihad a mexican girlfriend before, she was awesome!

Is it racist because the person isnt your type?

Is it racist because the person isnt your type?
who cares really

A babe is a babe. Who gives a rat's ass re:melanin. Is there a more shallow way to judge a fellow human being? Sorry you bigots didn't grow up in New York City, as I, most thankfully, did. Man...judging a person by their coloration---what a repellant concept!

I am not even slightly attracted to you. Does that make me a bigot?

not at all...but i think it's fairly clear you're a homo (not that there's any thing wrong woth that...)

You're just saying that because my hand is up your... :p

Sorry Airdog, but I have to crush your infantile fantasies. I'm quite heterosexual, and I dare say better at it than you'll ever be.

your best quotation comes from an (admittedly cool) actor? wow, what a profound thinker you must be!
your admission re: being (un)attracted to me shows you for the bone-smuggler you deny you are.

1) I don't quote other people to make myself appear smart. People who must rely on the thoughts of better people thatn themselves are quite pathetic.

2) Are you trying to give me some sort of subtle invitation...?

no, all i'm saying is, "FUCK YOU AND YOUR KIND."

1) Why fuck me?

2) What is my kind?

dude, you come from the only boring city in 'stralia! get a life!

airdog, you need to get out of your house and see the outside world a bit more.

airdog...lay off the crack here...or grow up...or both...anything...please...*hack* *cough* *gasp*...

__________________________________________
There is no god, afterlife or divine love. There is only Entropy, the mother from which we were all born. She tugs our souls with the beautiful, maternal love of chaos. Why do you keep Her waiting?

It depends on your viewpoint.

For example...

If you refuse to date someone because of their skin color, that discrimination.

If you refuse to date someone because you dont like people who have that skin color, thats racism.

not dating people with a certain skin color can be a preference to a certain degree if it isnt because of prejudice or stereotypes like someone else said earlier.

let's imagine that I'm labeled as a racist by any definition. and what? I mean- why should I have problem with that? Why should I care if I'm labeled a racist -

I hate everyone regardless of skin colour, creed, sexual orientation, gender, or nationality. :)

I dislike everyone regardless of skin colour, creed, sexual orientation, gender, or nationality.

hate is a bit too strong word for all imo

I hate all the stupid ones regardless of skin colour, creed, sexual orientation, gender, or nationality.

Avatar:
Indifference tinged with disgust best describes my sentiments best, but I was really ripping off that Type O Negative song when I wrote my post. :)

Hate all indiscriminately? :bugeye: you're all messed up.

Why would you hate people who haven't done anything to you? Or, for that matter, people who don't even know you exist, and vice versa?

Naw, Xev ain't messed up ... She's just ecumenical. :cool:

Welcome to Sciforums, I guess :cool:

Maia:

As I said, it's more like indifference and disgust tinged with pity.

It would be really nice of you to read my posts before making judgements about them. :rolleyes:

Chagur:

Thank you kindly.

Originally posted by Maia
Why would you hate people who haven't done anything to you? Or, for that matter, people who don't even know you exist, and vice versa?[/color]

Avatar is probably quite correct in his assertion that the proper word would be "dislike" rather than hate. My hatred is reserved for those who earn it, and most don't. Most aren't smart enough to incite anything but pity, regardless of their ideals or assertions. Those very same ideals or assertions have in most instances been taken on board second hand, from people who have the capacity of original thought, and aren't overly worthy of any consideration at all, let alone extreme emotion.

As for those who don't know I exist, are they any less deserving of dislike? I'm quite certain Hussain doesn't know I exist, and yet I feel extreme dislike for the guy. And before you political fence sitters or wannabe extremists saddle up for a war, I don't have an awful lot of time for Dubya either. Fuck 'em both. that's my opinion, ascertained from what I've seen both from reported sources and from observation of events, and it ain't gonna change until one or both decides to convince me otherwise.

Lastly, we have those who I don't know exist. Well, here is the difficult one. I'm fairly certain you've thrown it in because it sounds better written in a post (oooh, don't we all like to say "and vice versa"... sounds so cool and knowledgeable and so.... considerate), but quite simply if I don't know them then what are they to me? Squat, Nada, Nought, Nothing. Let them convince me they're worthy of my acknowledging them and I might do so. Until then, they mean zip to me. How can they possibly mean anything else, except as a theoretical quantity?

Its a preference just like men who like shorter women. These men do not dislike women who are taller than they are, its just a matter of preference.

I have many black male and female friends. Though, i like white women better.

It is only rascism if you are AGAINST dating a member of a different race.

For those who think that any form of discrimination in dating is wrong... if i told you to go on a date with a member of the same sex, would you? It's just a matter of preference.

if i told you to go on a date with a member of the same sex, would you? do you even have to ask? :p

What bullshit and bigotry to say "My preference is not dating anyone that is black."

To say you would never date a race is racism not preference. I am not saying you are satan spawn but that is racism by definition.

Have some balls and own up to it like avatar.

IMO, everyone should be judged and evaluated on an individual to individual basis. To stereotype so many people by whatever relatively little interaction you have had is asinine.

Originally posted by fadingCaptain
What bullshit and bigotry to say "My preference is not dating anyone that is black."

Consider the concept of ''prejudice''. It actually means prejudgement. I am prejudiced towards moving cars. I have a prejudice that if i step in front of one, then it will run me over. The moral condemnation of intelligent behaviour is an insidious development.

Consider ''Discrimination''. To discriminate is to take action based upon a perception of difference. I discriminate between dogs and women in my choice of mate. Rationality is not evil.

To say you would never date a race is racism not preference.
The a priori assertion of inherent evil, with its moral condemnation as regards the construct ''race-ism'' strikes me as little more than superstition.

I am not saying you are satan spawn but that is racism by definition.

No, it is you that is of the darkness. I know that you are descendants of Abraham; yet you seek to kill me, because my word finds no place in you.
I speak of what I have seen with my Father, and you do what you have heard from your father."
They answered him, "Abraham is our father." Jesus said to them, "If you were Abraham's children, you would do what Abraham did, but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth which I heard from God; this is not what Abraham did.
[You do what your father did." They said to him, "We were not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God."
Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I proceeded and came forth from God; I came not of my own accord, but he sent me.
Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word.
You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
But, because I tell the truth, you do not believe me.
Which of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me?
He who is of God hears the words of God; the reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God."

The Jews answered him, "Are we not right in saying that you are a Samaritan and have a demon?"

Jesus answered, "I have not a demon; but I honor my Father, and you dishonor me.
Yet I do not seek my own glory; there is One who seeks it and he will be the judge.
Truly, truly, I say to you, if any one keeps my word, he will never see death."

Have some balls and own up to it like avatar.

There is nothing wrong with exercising ones cognitive funtions such as discrimination, and prejudice.

IMO, everyone should be judged and evaluated on an individual to individual basis.

That would be honey to the ears of the dull masses in a democracy. Perhaps we should eliminate the discrimatory practise of categorising some with downs syndrome, and judge them on an individual basis.

To stereotype so many people by whatever relatively little interaction you have had is asinine.

Has it occured to you that racist is a stereotype? I do not conceptualise as concrete blocks-nothing is static. Now, go play with your LEGO.

Originally posted by Datura
Your story had nothing to do with love. True love is indeed colorblind and I think that slogan is meant to apply on the grand scheme of things.
Exactly the thought which sprung into my mind.

"To say you would never date a race is racism not preference. I am not saying you are satan spawn but that is racism by definition."

Ah, but to hypothetically say that I prefer the common looks (that is, physical attributes) of a white/asian/latin girl over a black/eastern european...?

I personally see nothing wrong with saying that.

And whether some of us like to admitt it or not, specifically in North America people do often act in accordance with a cultural norm. I live in a rather wealthy, white area of Toronto and the few blacks that go to my school are much louder, ruder, confident and stick together much more than the white girls at the school. They follow very rigidly the stereotypes. To say that I prefer the stereotypical, say, asian attitude to this is nothing but noting a preference. The problem is if one says that they prefer all asians to all blacks, without actually getting to know a person.

It's pretty clear that saying you will never date a black woman is racist. You can't say they just aren't your type, either. I'm pretty sure that any genuine man can be aroused by a woman of any race. There's something wrong with you if you can't. ;)

I'd also say that preferring white women over black women is racist, too. It's discrimination based on race. I prefer white women, and therefore I am a little racist.

Ah, but to hypothetically say that I prefer the common looks (that is, physical attributes) of a white/asian/latin girl over a black/eastern european...?
Nothing wrong with having a preference. But to say you would never date anyone that is black or white or whatever is racist. There is a difference.

The king,
The a priori assertion of inherent evil, with its moral condemnation as regards the construct ''race-ism'' strikes me as little more than superstition.
You are way off track. Where do I apply that racism is inherently evil?

No, it is you that is of the darkness.
I hope you are joking.

That would be honey to the ears of the dull masses in a democracy. Perhaps we should eliminate the discrimatory practise of categorising some with downs syndrome, and judge them on an individual basis.
What is your point? I do judge people with down's syndrone on an individual basis.

Has it occured to you that racist is a stereotype? I do not conceptualise as concrete blocks-nothing is static. Now, go play with your LEGO.
Rascist is a stereotype? No, it is a definition of observed behavior. Nothing is static? Yet you scoff at the idea of judging people people on a individual basis? It seems you need to take a look in the mirror and figure some things out. Ok, I will go play with my 'LEGO' now... :rolleyes: