Today I read the following paper aloud in my English class, and it elicited quite the response from my classmates. They loved it, and discussed it for a longer time than was alotted. I think, maybe, I'll get a similar reaction here. The paper is pretty short, so, enjoy.

[begin]
I think the eyes are what do it for me, when I feel their bulbs swiveled in my direction, when I feel the warm gaze of that mind on my face, when I notice it for myself, look back, only for an instant, see flecks of brown within green if I’m close enough. It is only for an instant; easily less than a second, that my entire chest tightens and I feel color lancing from my neck to my face, in this frame of time, we are connected. Our eyes part. Then time makes its inexorable march forward, like a platoon of doomed British soldiers fighting in the trenches of Lorraine, and I am left with a solaced mind, one with only the looping image of that encounter playing through it. Because we are islands separated by a wall of reality I do not know if the other felt what I felt, saw what I saw—I do not know if it was merely a random glance or a loving gaze, but because of how young and naïve I am frankly I couldn’t care less.

The eyes I lost myself in could have been male ones, female ones, Venusian ones, but, don’t forget, they could have also been those reflected in a mirror.

This isn’t all that I think whenever I glance at someone else’s eyes; generally the situation tends to differ from time to time, from person to person. Sometimes I hold the glance, turn it into a gaze or a glare, sometimes I flick my eyes past theirs just quickly enough to see if they’re looking at me instead of something else, and sometimes it’s automatic—I sense the white of their eyeballs turned toward mine, and look at theirs without thinking twice about it.

But what am I supposed to do when something like this happens, when two pairs of eyes meet? Most of the time I’d handle it with some kind of body language—I’d raise my eyebrows, or make them jump Chaplin-style, wiggle my nose or just improvise a funny face. Then again, they might not notice me at all, and I might not have to do anything at all. But what happens if the situation escalates? What if they keep looking back at me, what if I know who they are, what if I don’t know who they are, what if I like them, love them, hate them? Don’t forget, what ifs are fuel for the human heart.

I guess I don’t usually know what to do. I generally do something, I don’t think I’ve ever just frozen, and I never stop and think, that’s usually what happens after the event in question has occurred. If they look away first, I’ll feel strong, manly, like a conquering hero. I’ll walk with my back just a little straighter, my shoulders slightly broader; my pace will be maybe a little slower, more luxurious. If I look away first then I’ll feel like a defeated general. If the other person smiles, I’ll try to mirror them, if they frown or scowl, I’ll scowl back. So my reaction, one could surmise, seems to depend on the other person more than myself, theirs is an action, mine is a reaction. It’s quite automatic. The politics regarding glancing, my politics, then, are likely just the progeny of my constant over analyzation of everything, but perhaps I am not alone in considering the politics themselves. I have spoken of given situations and reactions, they undoubtedly happen to each of us dozens, hundreds of times each day, and usually we don’t think much of them at all. I don’t know if I have much of a goal for this unorganized text, other than the contribution it will make to bringing my grade up to a C, but I think it would be nice for me to not be the only one freaking out after screwing up a loving gaze. I’d rather shift the burden to you.
[/end]

So, I thought I'd talk about the intricacies of the glance, of looking at someone in the eye, not doing so, and that's what I did. I was relieved when I found out that I wasn't alone by a long shot, that everyone in the class shared my disgust of how complicated it all is, how to react to someone else, how they react to you. We all overanalyze in this respect, then, I guess.

28 views and not a single reply! Blah! I won't bump this thread again, but, still....

So what do you want us all to say Pollux?
You've discovered non verbal communication congrats are in order?
IMHO confusing NVC is a consequence of that old chestnut; instinct Vs sentience.

Maybe this will open the floodgates for you.
Dee Cee

No, I just think it's way too complicated. It's unnecessary. Plus, I thought I was alone in thinking about the subject, that I was overanalyzing it, but I turned out to be wrong.

Come to think of it, all that sort of thing to do with eye contact and how people react, as you have delineated above, is what you need to know/ do/ remember for your writing, to make it more human and real.

Yeah, studying it a bit more would definitely contribute to making anyone's writing more human. Even just studying it could yield some pretty hefty benefits.

So, then, am I the only one frustrated with the complexities of nonverbal conversation?

No, your not. But I think its something you get used to, and better at. I used to be fairly rubbish at it, and still can be, I am lacking the "normal" kind of emotional stuff about relating to other people, but even I have learnt a great deal over the past few years. PLus a lot of people are curled up inside their own little worlds, and dont really notice whats going on non verbally, or at least they dont notice it consciously, just enough so as not to get into dangerous situations.
Maybe part of your frustration is noticing it, but not having it all down unconsicously yet, once you have more experience and a bit of htinking about it, you can tell things without really knowing. Hey, i can even tell whether I like someone and am going to get on well with them a few seconds after meeting them.