Yesterday, someone spent over 2 hours bitching to me about their problems which is as usual for him then I somehow managed to get in a couple minutes talking about my problems. He accused me of thinking no 1 has problems but me. I know human nature very well & find much of it illogical, ignorant, arrogant, sad, selfish, cruel & horrible but that accusation is Twilight Zone/Stephen King freaky.
You were actually expecting people to be honest, caring and kind ? They never were and never will be.
I acctually knew one guy who used to say similar stuff ... try to prove him wrong everytime. They just want more attention
Sometimes, people just want someone to listen to them and feel like they've been heard and that you have compassion fo them. Usually, when someone comes to me with one of their problems I sit and I listen and I wait to see if they want me to interject some advice or just some kind words. But when someone comes to me like that, I don't ever bring up my problems because people tend to feel like you are trying to compete with them over who's got the bigger problems. If I feel the need to talk to someone, I don't go to that person, but someone else who doesn't feel so burdened at the time. Really, people just want to know that you care about them and are listening. Not thinking about your problems while they are talking about theirs.
I can handle helping someone if they don't try to keep using me as their personal "dumping" grounds. After a few times of them "dumping" their tales of woe on me I just tell them to stop bothering me and find another sympathetic ear to bend. I had a person who was an alcoholic and they never admitted they were an alcoholic but only blamed everyone and everything for their problems. Alcoholics love to complain about how everything that happens to them isn't their fault but another's that was responsible. I just told her to stop calling me and put her phone number on block. She has not tried to bother me again, thankfully. So when someone starts to use you as their personal dump just tell them where to get off, politely at first but be forceful if you need to be or they will use you up.
I neglected to say this person is my brother, tho I've been thru the same with others. We've been doing this for too many years to count. I've been compassionate, understanding & tolerant but I'm finally becoming sick&tired of it. Nothing justifies or excuses his accusation, specially after all the time I have spent listening to him while hardly saying anything.
Souns like you'r both overly sensetive an over reactin.??? Have you traned him to thank you'r his soundin bord.??? He souns as if he may be verbaly abusive... if so... in a clam way... nip it in the bud.!!!
If youv'e been thru the sam wit others... mayb thers somptin about you'r personality that attracts such behavor.??? So you have traned him to be the way he is wit you... an that dont justify his continnin such behavior you now seem to want to put a stop to... but it does halp to esplane it.!!! Be honest wit him about you'r feelins an admit you'r own faults in causin this lopsided relatonship... if he wont listen to reason you will need to reduce the amount of time you listen to his prollems to a level you can be hapy wit.!!!
` I know ! Trying to extort 300 grand out of the poor bastids after they'd already off-loaded the rice, and then went - Uh... yeah, man - this here rice ain't white enuff, knowhutahmean ? Truly shameful.
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend he is. - Jack Handey
I know ! The sons of bitches stole the rice, tried to extort money from the shipping company, sank the ship, and then let half the crew drown ! That shee-it is cold-hearted !
