I am extremely paranoid and have VERY low self-esteem. I was wondering if anyone else had the same problems and what they do to over come it.
Help me please.....

How old are you lostsoul? And what sex you belong to this time?

I am 18 (nearly 19) and I am female

Trust me lostsoul, you're not alone!

It feels like I am sometimes! Please help me! Any advice is welcome!
Biggles - age and sex?

Twenty-five & male.... what's that got to do with anything?

I know it sounds silly, but a hot bath really helps me when I'm feeling blue.

Hello lost soul:

Since you are on the topic of soul, you have to explain, what it is you are experiencing that needs to be solved. If it is personal relationship, you may have to find professional help. If it is more in the philosophical aspects of life, we can discuss this in this forum.

Nothing is lost, it is only misplaced!

Not lost, just misplaced... I like that!
Baths don't work. They only last for a few hours.
I am just lost in general. None of my relationships work out, I always end up being the one that gets hurt.:(
I don't know what to do with myself. I have great friends but something is missing. I feel really paranoid. I see myself as being fat and ugly but everyone tells me that I am quite the reverse. I feel lost and my paranoia needs to be stopped! I just need some help.

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

You keep saying you feel paranoid but all you've been whining about appear to be things related to self-esteem.

Like if you were paranoid I'd expect you to be running off how about how someone is pissing in you soup whenever your back is turned.

So? What is it?

Lost soul:

If you have health insurance, I suggest a visit to your doctor will help a lot. email me with details, I may recommend one at your place.

Sounds as if you need a little self-confidence m'lady. You're by no means alone. And that is one of the keys. I think that most of us at one time or another have felt left out, sticking out of the crowd as oddball, and just generally didn't fit in. Relax, enjoy life, and quit worring so much. All is as it should be. When at your age the body plays hob with your emotions. It's part of growing up to be an adult. If you still feel this way in a year or too it may be time to revisit. In the meantime, go see a doctor, who will prescribe something to level you out. Even if you were fat and ugly, and you probably aren't, so what? Me, I'm old and lazy. Don't mean a thing. I still try to enjoy life. What your friends think today or tomarrow will change from day to day. Do not depend upon what they think to define your life.

M'lady, I would ask you to reset your preferences, some of us would like to talk to you through the Private Messaging that is offered at this board. Please?

kmguru hit upon something that drew back memories of times long past. Something that is every bit a revelant today as it was the day it was written. Within it's contents are the instruction for a satisfactory life. It goes like this.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possesion in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideas; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to sheild you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are like a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with god, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and asperations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all it's sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful, strive to be happy.

The Desiderata
(found in old ST. Pauls Church, Baltimore. Dated 1692)

P.S. I still have a copy of this at home. I went and took it off the wall to put this down here. I have had it for probably 30 years. It is every bit as applicable today as the first day I read it.

I thank kmguru for bringing this to the forefront as it is truely words to live by.

In around 1972/73, I was going through a very difficult time emotionally when I heard this song over the radio station. I am in love with the poem ever since. I have a Desiderata poster and the song (by Les Crane) too. When things get me down, I listen to the song many times.

This is a part of my life now. To everyone this poem has touched has brought peace and tranquility to them.

I hope this brings the same to you and the readers.

Have a ... an ... acquaintance buried on a hilltop grave in a small church cemetery in West Virginia who I know attained peace and tranquility from that poem. That's why I made sure a copy of it went in his coffin.

Lostsoul. We all feel like that from time to time, so you are certainly not alone. But in order not to get too drowned by low self esteem and just view it as a temporary state of mind that easily can be changed, I suggest meditation and YOGA! Yoga is an excellent way to raise your self esteem, spiritual awareness and health. And itīs fun too. :)

I think a good rule of thumb is to realize that nearly everyone suffers from self-esteem problems periodically. Everyone has that time to themselves where, if they allow it, they permit a little introspection and realize that they're not quite where they could be.

There was a time I was in Japan, knocking on doors for the religion I embraced at the time. <b>No one</b> was answering throughout the whole day. Not only that, but the outside temperature was at a cool 10 degrees Fahrenheit. God, even though I was with another guy at the time (as per the religion's instructions), it was one of the loneliest times I've ever experienced on the planet. The one consolation I could take was in the belief that somewhere, someone like me was enduring the exact same experience.

The trick is to look at others and realize that, most likely, they're experiencing the same kinds of feelings as well--just at other times in life. I think that kind of outlook helps to bring humanity closer, instead of pushing them away and distancing them with feelings of loneliness and lack of self-esteem.

I think another thing would be to work on yourself. If you feel you always get dumped on in relationships, then augment a part of your personality. Realize you deserve better and don't settle for anything else. Of course, this is easy to say from my vantage point.

There was also a time in Japan when another guy was having similar problems as I was at the time. I thought it would be a great time to commiserate and discover some things about him. I asked and eventually began giving advice. He finally looked at me and said, "Is that all you can do is give advice?"

So, if this advice goes in one ear and out the other, then screw it. Read some of the archives of www.theonion.com and just lose yourself in laughter. That works the best for me.

thanks!

prag

Hey lostsoul, here is the only answer to your problem:

DEPEND ON JESUS, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

Your Friend,
Kenton

kentonsmith@angelfire.com
http://www.angelfire.com/az/kent

Have a bit more patience with yourself. If you give yourself some time and think about the decisions that you make it may make a difference. Rely only on yourself and on people that you know and trust. Try hard, but don't put too much effort; don't let yourself be dissapointed with yourself ever. :)

Do u meditate? i think your problem is about your looks>
trust in god and bow before him.
the only reason that we are unhappy with us is " we have started adoring the gifts which are given by god to us in stead of him. accept his kingdom yaar, and "rest" is yours( rest means all that left and also "rest" means "peace".

Have u told this to your parents?


"EARTH IS ROUND, EARTH MOVES; NOT SEEN BUT TRUE.
SKY IS BLUE, SUNSET IS GOLDEN; SEEN BUT FALSE.
ENERGY IN THE ATOM, VITALITY IN THE SUN,
GRAVITATIONAL FORCE; NOT SEEN BUT TRUE.
DOUBLE MOON, MIRAGE WATERS,DREAM AND HALLUCINATIONS;
SEEN BUT FALSE.
WORLD WE SEE BUT NOT TRUE.
TRUTH WE SEE NOT BUT TRUE."

Just to let you know I'm 25.

I did have a similar problem when I was around 13. It was the kind of thing where I thought everyone was out to get me.

Here's what I realized.

1- Everybody is out to get you. No sense being a baby about it.

2- God wont help you. He doesn't really care anyway.

3- There is no need to look for Jesus. If he wants to find you, he probably knows where you are.

4- Most people don't like you, so FUCK em.

5- Most people are DICKS.

6- The only person who truly gives a shit about you is you.

7- Your going to die anyway so why worry about what the rest of the ass's around you are going to think when your gone.

8- People are hypocrites. They actually belive half the crap that spews from there tiny little minds.

So in essence get out over it, buy something nice smoke a fattie, and say to your self

IN YOUR GROWN UP VOICE,

FUCK EM!!!!!!!

Thats the thing? On one hand if a person cares to much, your considered a sponge.

If you turn to being a hard ass and say to heck with everyone, they call you an ANTISOCIAL?

Cant win for losing.............Its confusing ??

The one's saying they dont like you, dont really know you?

They take a few relevent facts, and fill the story in to fit there agenda??

I guess to be true to ones self is all one can do?


thanks


Bjl:(

for the self esteem part........if you worry about what others think about you....don't it will make you think to much about what someone might have said.......good or bad you will eventually begin to believe it. do your own thing do try to change for others...if someone doesn't like you for who you are then you don't need them. as far as the paranoia thing i do believe i probably comes attached with the self esteem thing.....being worried about what others think can cause a certain level of paranoia. but if not and i am totally wrong then you must be on some kick ass drugs that are makiing you paranoid and when you come off of them your emotions are all screwed...(just kiddin about that last part don't get offended)

anyhow

While lostsoul is gone from the boards the post lives on. There is some good advice within the thread.

Paranoia is what we percieve and not always what is. It is a matter of prespective.

I think this goes back to choose you friends carefully and do not live within yourself to much. You color your world by your outlook in what you see and feel. It is not so much that the world is out to get you as it is that you see it as such. Perception colors reality.

If you have those around you who think your not up to the grade then you are better off without them. Surround yourself with those who support you not those who would drag you do to their level of veiw.

Time and again you find in the end that they are really jealous of you and what they think they are missing that they believe that you have.

Lostsoul,

Are your feelings of paranoia frequent and not triggered by anything you are aware of conciously? Have you ever done street drugs (hallucinogens) in the past? If so, then maybe there is one of your problems and you may need to seek medical help....don't know how much they'll be able to help you with that specifically but it beats sitting there and wondering about it....that doesn't solve anything.

A lot of us suffer from low self-esteem from time to time...especially when things are not going our way. But what concerns me is that you are experiencing both paranoia and self-esteem issues simultaneously. Have you considered going to a psychiatrist or heck, just your general doctor? You may have a chemical imbalance---I don't know....I've never really been paranoid but have suffered from severe depression...due to a neurotransmitter imbalance--it was something I couldn't help with therapy alone....in fact, I had nothing substancial to give me reason to be depressed. What I'm saying is that sometimes it's not a "it's just all in my head" thing.....sometimes it's a neurotransmitter imbalance....and there are certain drugs to treat things like depression, anxiety disorder, paranoia, etc.

The thing is to do something about it....if this isn't a transient thing with you (you've suffered from it for quite some time now and don't know why) then my advice is to get professional assistance. Don't be afraid (no pun intended)....they are there to help you and figure out what is wrong and how to treat it....and help you cope with it if it's a chemical thing. Wish you all the best. Take care Lostsoul....you'll find yourself soon.....just don't let others tell you who you are or what you should be, okay? :)

There's this great song in spanish, maybe you'll relate to it if you dig deeper than the thought of amnesia...I'll do my best (my translation sucks):

Day Zero:

I see what I think I see and can see no more
of what I could tell I can't remember at all
no reason to speak of it anymore
I believe to believe, I fear to fear that this is real
life has been clouded in totality
I'm lost
and I don't know how to look at what I left behind

on that long path
that once saw me walk
born was this blind wound
that erased today my yesterday

Strangers speak of who I used to be
they pretend to give me valor while knowing nothing
there's no need to even
cry about being here
my amnesia tells me absolutely nothing
except this feeling of anxiety

on that long path
that once saw me walk
I burned a biography
and blew away the ashes of my yesterday
don't try to show me who loved me
or whom I should love
Day zero has begun
and tomorrow will go on

(hope you like it and maybe think about trying to find an outlet once you've gotten that anxiety/paranoia under control---there's another song you might be more familiar with -- by Journey....it say's "be good to yourself when nobody else will"---follow its advice and you can't go wrong).

Well, as far as Im concerned this might be the case in, say 12% of the population in the "said" control group of substance abusers. Highly unlikely for the Acid, or mushroom heads that have not ever suffered it before would do so after several decades.

External consequences are much more probable. When the mind has two conflicting belief systems we call this a problem.

The answer isnt someone is always sick!

* A NOTE
(This is usually a ploy to shift blame by involved parties to devalidate....old communist propaganda..)

In the case of William our test rat, the occurance of Paranoid delusional ideals doesnt make electronic detection devices go off!!(case study)

Not that that has anything to do with it you understand..

Occurance of Paranoid Sch., or delusional syndromes occuring by substance abuse are very high, but usually subside as soon as the chemical is no longer an active agent and the poisons are depleted in the body.

There are always exeptions to the rule, as this is not the "every case senerio!"

Usually when a baby cries, its not made up by the infant! There is a real problem to consider.

This doesnt support delusion or persep..

In the case study of William the test rat we find his syndrom occured at 408ghz,or mhz! (I cant remember)

High frequencys in a electromagneticaly charged area does effect certain people with psi probabiltities, of course those people are so numourous that all of 5% of the population have it...



just a thought.......



bjl;)

* NOTE
I personaly know who posted the original thread(Im not speaking about Ana's reply but the Thread starter), it was designed only for the purpose of belittlement, because of there guilty concience.....sarcasm!! This person belongs to the 12% society......:eek:

but...um, okay BobbyLee.:confused:

I understood what you where saying. I didnt mean to sound confontational toward your answer.

Thank you for caring enough to even comment! Its more than alot of people would have done...


Thank you


Bjl:)

I am extremely paranoid and have VERY low self-esteem

Hey lostsoul, I am watching you.......and so is everyone else on this forum....

Here are some rules for life a friend sent me. I think they are very relevant and I have them posted on the door to my office for everyone to read.


Rules For Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.