I hear this phrase touted as if it were scientific law regarding sexuality. I'm not talking about magnetism here! I'm talking about opposite genders being naturally attracted and meant for each other. And to a lesser extent, opposite personalities. If opposites attract, sexually and mentally, why? Do people really choose to associate with others that are of the opposite polarity of what they themselves are? Does this really make for lasting relationships? Especially involving sexuality. I read recently the comment that opposites attract because people look for aspects and traits in others that are missing from their own personality. Is this a scientific law? Would not opposite, in a sense, make someone an enemy? Even if it didn't, wouldn't that then mean that both parties are not whole in some way? That they have some type of deficiency that they wish to correct by uniting with someone of the opposite sex? If opposites really attract, why do men and women have such difficulties in their relationships? Do at least half of all marriages result in divorce, because these opposites are meant to be together? Is it just a "cute" little phrase that people use, then? Is there really anything to support such a contention? I'm wondering why this is such a given, but it really doesn't make very much sense.
oppositte sex attracts because they were meant to be made for each other...girls like boys and boys like girls because they sense pheromones, they like the body form, they like the style the person is in that matches the other mate's style.
Dear Citizen of Russian Federation, How do you know that? I've been witness to MULTITUDES of heterosexual relationships, and very few of them ever last more than a year or two. Most of them are rather short-lived. Sense pheromones? That may be true to an extent. But what can be said of people who go from being attracted to one sex from being attracted to another? And if it's only pheromones, certainly that instinctual perception should override any other facet of attraction? I don't quite get what that has to do with opposites, other than simply gender. If two guys, or two girls are best friends, does that mean that they are also opposites? Just not opposite-gendered?
So does sensitivity to pheromones mean that such people are more animalistic? That they are more subject to such base instincts?
Well people...just saying that oppossites attract...is not right...its much more complex then that. Also Giambattista, I dont know you or the life you lived so far, but I have been blessed to have a family where both of my parents love each other dearly, my mom left the country for five years, was persuaded to merry another man, but neverthless resisted the temptation and went thru by herself, then my father was alone all these years, never touched a woman, he believed in love and so did she, and so do I, because everytime I came home (now Im in college), I saw them happy, to be together to cherish every day. And that is not just one example of a heterosexual relationship that is a successfull one, my cousin has never divorced and has three children and I asked his wife, and she told me that she is happy and I feel it. That is the purpose of life...to find that other half, that you enjoy being with, not just because shes got big ass or boobs or he is rich, to find someone who you can share time and enjoy being with him/her because you know that he/she will be there for you, and has the same ideals as you do. Pheromones and physical body is there for a biological reason, they serve as a reimbursment for better mutual attraction. And not the other way....
If I make it short you were trying to say that a man like me (never accomplished anything at all in his life, a loser) should get a famous, talented, beautiful bisexual woman? I work just to live, she works for fun. My opinions doesn't counts, her does. I like beer, she likes juice. I have to be without, she doesn't. I don't like fame, she's glamorous... For me God is a DJ and he makes matches, of course if he likes you even a wishes in details Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Giambattista beautiful bee Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
ummm all u said...except the bisexual woman...unless you are actually attracted to this bisexual woman...(I am not)....
My parents are the same way. Only I don't think anyone was tempted to leave the other. Why does this attraction have to be reinforced by pheromones? Is there not enough to placate them otherwise? I do not see why women are so attractive. When I was young, I did. I had fantasies involving girls quite frequently. Then I went through a period where I was attracted to both sexes. Then, a few years into puberty, I stopped finding women attractive. In fact, I saw what they were as being fake. Just take a look at how women are portrayed. How they portray themselves. It's very artificial. They shave their legs. They shave their armpits. They have longer hair generally. They wear makeup. None of that is natural. But men expect it. And I suspect that many men cannot tolerate women who do not perform to that standard. Does the magazine Playboy ever advertise women who DON'T do any of that? No. It doesn't. WHY? Why do women have to do that? Why does being a really attractive woman uphold such a false standard? Sexuality, in many ways, is a script. Women look like THIS, men look like THAT. They act like THIS, you act like THAT. Women are taught to be meek and mild from childhood. They're given dolls to play with. Boys are bred to be tough. They're given footballs and toy soldiers to play with. Whether that's what they really want to be, I'm sure that's disputable. But are they really given a choice? Not really. I (and I'm not speaking in a void) was told who I was at an early age. Some of it I conformed to, and some of it I did not. Are these silly lines really biological? I cannot see where I had a neutral upbringing. Especially in adolescence, people were always reminding me of what I should do in order to be a real "man". You had to measure up to certain expectations. Some did better than others, but EVERYONE "knew" who the REAL men were. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! This wasn't just MY experience. All of this conditioning was experienced by everyone. I cannot say how much of it was natural, and how much of it was forced on us. I'm not necessarily invalidating anything you say, but I'm questioning how valid all of that thinking really is.
Time well show...being 19 years old, gives me an advantage...of more time to understand what my beliefs truly are...
All I can say, is that this arrangement that was formulated without my consent has done nothing for me. I do not care for this artificial polarity they have constructed in my absence. But supposedly it is a science that I should wish to further it. I am not primitive. I see nothing in this that benefits me. Natural procreation???
I would say, as a rule LIKES ATTRACT. Opposites attract too occasionally, the attraction may be intense or a light one, but it is transient in nature......and consists more of curiosity. In fact too much oppositeness is not counducive to a long term association. Likes on the other hand bond long term. You don't need an elaborate social support system to force 'likes' to bond. It will happen automatically and spontaneously. In fact if you see the cases of true male-female bonding they will be more 'like' than 'opposites'. In fact you can be a 'woman' while being a man, and you can be a 'man' while being a woman. Men and women in such relationships will have many similarities between them, and their sense of being different sexes will also be very little --- they will seem to merge into each other, become one. You will find very limited bonding in a man who is too aware of his being a man and of the woman as a woman. Only a man for whom the 'sex' difference does not exist can bond with her long term. Otherwise, the attraction will go as soon as it had arrived. And that would happen (and does happen) in most cases of male-female bonding, were it not for social pressures and the social support system. I like the term that you use. That it is a "cute little phrase". And they have several others 'cute' phrases. Like "behind every successful man there is a woman" (usually a nagging woman, I'd like to add!)". They are all meant to 'force' men and women to continue their relationships (marriage) inspite of it being against their nature. Of course like the example of the horse that I mentioned earlier, you can stop all the venues for 'likes' to bond with each other, and force opposites to bond. It may happen, but then the 'opposites' will not be so 'opposites' anymore. They will lose several important and essential features that made them 'opposites' in the first place. That is not very conducive for both the partners --- kind of unnatural and thus harmful.
NEW YORK TIMES REPORT Opposites Attract? Not in Real Life By NATALIE ANGIER Suppose that dissenting Justice Antonin Scalia was right when he fulminated recently that, by overturning the Texas antisodomy law, the Supreme Court was paving the way for "same-sex marriage." What's the big deal about gay nuptials, besides the fact that Canada got there first? After all, when two people with matching sex chromosomes select each other as long-term partners, they're being only slightly more emphatic in a strategy that scientists say may explain mate choice among a great majority of heterosexuals, too. As a new report demonstrates with the no-nonsense zing of the phrase "I do," humans often seek in a spouse the sort of person they know best: themselves. Beautiful people want beautiful partners. The well-heeled covet Prada-clad companions. Those who are devoted to kith, kids and unabridged Passover seders expect no less from the person who adorably snores beside them each night...... (read the complete report here!)
ARTICLE FROM FIRST SCIENCE.COM Manly men and short-term relationships To further prove my hypothesis that opposites cannot attract enough to sustain long term bonding here is a research study that says the women like to 'marry' feminised males rather than masculinised males because masculine males make poor parents but have high quality genes. A masculine face: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! On their part, masculine men too tend not to like long term bonds with women. In animals, including in horses, wolves and red foxes, the examples of whom we have discussed before, the masculine males that fight to impregnate the females are not the ones who care to bond with the female to raise the young. What happens is that the female takes the sperms/ genes of the masculine male who is only interested in 'quick' sex, and prefers to bond with a feminine male who is only too happy to raise the kids of the stronger, masculine male. That is how things proceed smoothly in nature, without any outer influence or pressures. Please click here to read the complete article "Do women prefer manly faces?"
ARTICLE FROM WebMD Do Opposites Attract? Not Really People Want to Find a Mate Who Shares Similar Traits By Jennifer Warner WebMD Feature Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson, MD June 30, 2003 - When it comes to settling down and finding a mate, "likes" may attract better than "opposites." New research suggests that people actually seek out mates who have similar traits as themselves rather than following the old "opposites attract" pattern. The study also found that how a person perceives his or herself as a potential mate has a large impact on the traits they look for in a mate. Men and women who had a high self-perception of themselves were more discriminating than those who had a lower self-perception of their value as a mate. Researchers say that previous studies on mate selection have focused on the theory that people prefer mates that rank high on qualities associated with successful child rearing, such as financial wealth and commitment to family. But for people who don't perceive themselves as desirable mates, they say this "opposites attract" theory may not be the most successful strategy for long-term relationship success. (To read the complete article please click here)
Most young men I know don't spend alot of time hanging out with the opposite sex. I very often hear more negative and disparaging comments from men about women than I do good comments. This doesn't stop them from wanting to have sex with them. It seems hypocritical in a way. I certainly don't see how that kind of system validates anything about opposites attracting. This, I understand, isn't all men and women. Or perhaps the females keep to themselves and rely on each other for emotional support and help raising the children?
This perfectly gels with what I have observed and analysed in my work with men --- both masculine gendered and feminine gendered men. While the more gentle and feminine gendered men tend to prefer emotional bonds with women --- some of them distinctively act like typical gays --- even walk with a gait or speak 'funny', and some show a suppressed/ hidden desire to cross-dress. Although sometimes this 'femininity' may be disguised by the immense social masculinity/ power that male-female relationships carry. Gay men (by gay I mean feminine gendered males who like males) too tend to like other gay men. What puts them on in other men is feminine features, feminine temperament, inluding softness, etc. In fact the feminine gendered males who tend to prefer to bond sexually with women also seem to have a thing for feminine gendered males (gays). Masculine gendered males on the other hand seem to prefer other masculine gendered men for bonding (if they are not living under the pressures of heterosexual society!). Even in a heterosexual society they will not be found being too mushy mashy with women. They will have relationships with women only so that they can show case it as an assertion of their masculinity, and earn social masculinity points. And that is why social masculinity means such a lot to masculine gendered men. Because they need to bond with other masculine gendered men, even if it means suppressing and hiding their same-sex sexual needs.
In most cases yes, but in rare cases, for whatever reason, female mammals do choose to bond with a male (although this is only seasonal), as we saw in the case of some red-foxes. Other mammals like the elephants don't seem to have any such cases. That is why I kept the possibility of 5% of men not having an exclusive sexual need for women, to answer what Cross said.
