Online relationships

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by FatalTalon, Jun 24, 2003.

  1. FatalTalon Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    53
    How can you fall for some girl or guy online?
    I’ve been using the internet extensively for around a decade. I have had a number of relationships in real life, and I fail to see why I would prefer an online relationship as opposed to an offline one. From my perspective, there’s no way to compare the two. I don’t think you can truly know the other person just communicating online. I think it would be more a projection of what you think of them as. Only a small amount of communication is verbal/text based. Body language, smell, reaction, tone etc etc make up a huge part of it.

    Due to circumstances going on here…. I am just curious.

    Why do people prefer the online to the offline when the latter in my opinion is infinitely better?



    ~Fatal

    …the only theory I can think of is if someone is in an area where there are absolutely no interesting people at all……..

    ------------------
    To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease. --- Lao-Tzu
     
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  3. Bebelina kospla.com Valued Senior Member

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    5,036
    Because falling in love online is safer than in the "real" world.
    It's easier to talk about yourself without having to see the other person, its facial expressions, body language etc. You can interpret whatever you want into the written message.

    I thin smell is very important....

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    the chemical connection.




     
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  5. Eman Resu Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    248
    I think Bebe's right ... but "cybering" takes the fun out of the love-lust thing.

    "Ain't nothin' like the real thing baby!"
     
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  7. SwedishFish Conspirator Registered Senior Member

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    1,908
    i don't think you could have an exclusively online relationship. i dunno, maybe you can but it's not very healthy. perhaps the internet is a good way to meet people and pre-screen them for qualities you're looking for. then you could take it offline from there.

    the internet helped me to maintain a long distance relationship because my phone bills were getting outrageous and it is very easy to drop each other notes by email during the day and chat on aim rather than the phone.
     
  8. Xev Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    10,943
    FatalTalon:
    Yeah, but all that shit is way confusing. Take eye contact. If someone isn't looking me in the eye, does that mean that I've bored them or intimidated them?
    Body language, tone of voice, what the fuck is that shit? It's weird!

    I disagree. Sex doesn't make any one relationship "infinitely better" than another.
     
  9. FatalTalon Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    53
    Xev,
    Tone of voice? You can read someone's emotions to some extent by their voice.... you can tell their mood. I can tell when something's wrong with a significant other just by listening to their tone.

    Body language? Am I leaning forward? Am I avoiding getting to close to you? Am I tilting my head? Body language. By everyone's definitions I had you figured to be highly intelligent and knowledgable woman about things.... if you've ever read any psychology at all (not my area, but I have done some reading) you'd be aware of "body language".

    Yes it's confusing, but that makes it much more interesting, and puts more focus on the importance of communication. True communication.


    Not to put it bluntly, but.... quite frankly you're damn wrong here in how you understood my post. LOL.
    Geez surely you aren't so shallow that you think sex is the only thing in a real relationship?

    Going roller blading together, visiting the aquariums, going to movies, discussing some issue in live debate that you both regard as important and interesting, traveling with each other, moonlight walks on the beach, joking.... the list is rather endless.
    Sex can be a part of a real relationship but if its the focus you don't have a really stable one. I was referring to enjoying spending time with the other individual.

    Online you can..........chat.....and play games.... and that's about it.

    Barely a faint shadow of reality.

    ~Fatal

    -----

    To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease. --- Lao-Tzu
     
  10. PacingYourName Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    348
    You cant
     
  11. cthulhus slave evil servant Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    754
    you cant.
    i have had many net friends, or 'buds', but its rather impossible or atleats dificult to feel very emotianle twards them.
    there cpu dies. you dont see them for months. they come back.
    "where u been?"
    "box died. cpu overclocked"
    "ok. wanna meat up in the game chat later?"
    "sure"

    in rl if some1 was gone for months a simple explanation like that does not suffice.
    plus its hard to know just what it is there saying if they put it sudly, but for blunt fools like me its more a listening than a speaking problem.

    and online its so easy to ditch. just block em and get a new sn. as far as theyr consernd your then offficialy dead.
    and its also too easy to 'pull stunts'. get a cloner use a new name and its so easy to find out things or play horrible pranks.
    now because im infamous for just that i dont talk to any1 i dont already know or have been introduced to.
    and its so easy to phrog these days. just plug in a cracker and befor you know it some1's net life is in your hands.
    those are a few reasons y u shouldnt.
    besides there are the simple problems w/ not being in contact with them and never actualy comunicating eye to eye.
    unless you have a mice and web cam.
    and opnly geeks have online love... lets leave it at that i really dont want a debate today.

    but i think its fine to have net buds. as ive said i have a few.
     
  12. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,698

    Well explains why i come here.
     
  13. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    19,083
    I found my curent gf through net (forum)
     
  14. Thor "Pfft, Rebel scum!" Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,326
    Altho this is not entirely the same but me and my g/f actually got to know each other better online. We met in Law and decided to talk online and things just tok off from there. I guess it's easier to say stuff when you can't see the person.
    But I can't see how any realistic emotional bond can be made without any physical contact...you know, in that thing called reality.

    But another story. One of my best friends dad fell for a woman in the US, sold all his possesions, moved out there, got married and left his son with his older brother. His dad's happy but he feels very resentful understandably. But I'd like to use that as proof as it does happen on the rare occasion. Much like people on dating shows actually getting along with each other and getting married afterwards. It only happens every once and a while.
     
  15. DrNeroCF Werecat Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    123
    I've gotten to like a few people because of the extent I've talked to them online. But I agree with bebelina, smell is extremely important. There's nothing better than a girl whose skin just smells good.
     
  16. SwedishFish Conspirator Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,908
    yes yes, agreed. i've made several good friends online. not purposely looking for them but happening upon them, just as in real life. we make plans to go hang out as if we had met in real life and everything normal. i dunno, the internet doesn't seem all creepy and wierd to me as it does to people who did not grow up in the computer generation. it is also easier to get close to people by deeper intellectual conversation than is possible talking to them face to face.
     
  17. FatalTalon Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    53
    Swedishfish, I don't know if you were referring to me about growing/not growing up with computers... but just in case... I've been around computers and using them.... about as soon as I could after birth. Maybe three years old? Their logic is my speciality... The internet doesn't seem "creepy" to me it's practically part of me, I just don't really go for the online only relationship type thing.... or however you care do define it.

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    ~Fatal
     
  18. Mucker Great View! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    758
    Yeah I agree with bebeline. It is safer, and while it can be fun, I don't think you can compare the two either Fataltalon.

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  19. Kane Registered Member

    Messages:
    18
    It all depends if they're really a 50 year old guy or not. I don't think it's right meeting people on-line, but one of my friends sisters met the singer for Neve on the net and she married him, so I guess sometimes it works out. Of course, I haven't seem them for 4 years, so they could be divorced. Or dead. Who knows?
     
  20. Flores Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,245
    I don't have experience in online relationships, but I think it has potential to be great. I have found out that real relationships get physical way too fast before two people really got to know each other and study each other philosophies and train of thoughts. One a relationship turn heavy duty physical, it's way past the time to make the mental connection. Once a mental connection is established, one can always jump into the sexual relationship, but vice verse is not possible.
     
  21. plasticwingsmelting Banned Banned

    Messages:
    449
    i know this girl who lives about 20 miles away. we've been talking online for over a year. i know her fairly well. we've talked on the phone, too, but have never met.


    i think she's scared that if we meet, things will change.


    of course they will!
     
  22. Jessie Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    61
    The internet is a good way for us to make more friends.
    A forum such as this is great because it allows us to discuss many things. There is many kinds of people whom one can learn from or chat with.
    Online friendship is good. People can show their real sides.
    It's easier to talk about yourself truely.
    But on the other hand, it's also a little bit dangerous, for you may meet people who lie you.
    So be careful and think twice before you make any decision about online relationship. Love is not that simple, it takes certain time to understand each other. Interaction and communication is important and these cant be fully achieved online, right?
    But if you think it's worth to have a try, then just follow your mind !! Don't wait till it happens!! Make it happen!!

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  23. fredx Banned Banned

    Messages:
    795
    Yeah Jessie, I agree, I have been lied to by people on the net and it isn't a good feeling, good thing I found out before I actually tried to meet them.
     

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