Hi everyone. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! So, 5 days ago, my world fell apart, and I was looking for some unbiased responses, so I thought I would share the incident with you all. Seven months ago, I met a guy online that I fell in love with. Yes, clichéd perhaps, but let’s suppose for the moment that it’s true. I know there’s the whole ‘could be someone pretending to be this guy’ stigma, but there were two factors that I thought proved otherwise. Firstly, we exchanged photos, he gave me his address, I spoke to him on the phone, etc. Secondly, I also spoke to his sister online, which made him even more real, especially when she would tell me how he was in RL, stuff that only a sister could see. Anyway, I got along wonderfully with both of them (also spoke to his sister on the phone), but then the sister confessed she had feelings for me. I wasn’t exactly unattracted, but then I figured I had a boyfriend (her brother at that) so I was definitely going to stay on the straight and narrow. Anyway, a week ago, after some considerable pressuring and coercing (I knew she wanted to tell me something, but didn't know what), the sister finally confessed that all along, my ‘boyfriend’ had been her, and she had only done it because she thought I wouldn’t accept her for who she was. But she argues that the person I fell in love with is her, she put all of herself into her brother’s ‘character’. So, what do you think? Should we stay in contact? Should I hate her? Should I forgive her? Is she maybe a bit messed up?
whoa!!! Thats kinda messed! My personal advice would be to forgive her, but its totally up to you what you decide to do about her feelings and yours good luck!
This "little trick" she pulled on you was not just a simple lie. It was a very complete and well thought-out scam. She manipulated you by committing fraud. The photos, the voices on the phone. Who was that anyway? Has she learned to impersonate a male voice, or does she have an accomplice? This is not just a person with an awkward secret, who doesn't know who she can trust, so she tells a little lie until she feels comfortable. That, well perhaps you could forgive her and take on the challenge of a relationship. Being gay is a tough life and the rest of us can't possibly imagine what they/you have to do to get by. But she made up a whole plot and caught you up in it, props and sound effects and everything. A big production. Strung you along making you believe that you'd met a nice new person who doesn't even exist. If you ask me, that's pretty scary. She's one devious lady. If she's this underhanded and deceitful with people she actually likes, imagine what she could do to somebody that she was angry at. Like for example if the relationship doesn't work out and you try to dump her and she gets mad? Love is tough enough. Gay love comes with some extra problems courtesy of an intolerant society. Nobody needs to take on the additional challenge of a certified psycho lover. I say run the other way fast. And let this be a lesson to everybody out there. Be really careful with fabulous new friends you make over the Internet.
Worthy of a Jerry Springer episode! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I'll go with Fraggle on this one...
Thanks for your responses so far, guys. No, she had a vioce distortion device (apparently to scare off telemarketers, or anyone who might know she was a girl home alone Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! ) Apparently she told her two best friends about it (I've spoken to one), who can testify to how distressed she was at knowing how this would have to end. She says she did it (and I believe her) because she didn't have the guts to approach me as herself (who I also spoke to online), and said that if it had come down to it, and I had arranged to meet her 'brother', she would have turned up herself and explained it all. As it is, she keeps saying she doesn't understand why I don't hate her, and that I should. I guess the fact that I'm making excuses for her says something; as it is we're on talking terms now, but I'm still torn between that and cutting her out of my life. But the fact is that both before and after, she is still my favourite person to talk to on the net or the phone. So if I do cut her out, I will lose my best friend, and I may never find someone like her. Though then again, I might find someone like her, who's a little bit more honest! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
no one needs that kind of complicated bullshit in their life. i have been with some crazy people, but never like that. i think you should block her phone number and get a new sn.
the fact that your even considering it tells me your interested, kinda sounds like your looking for an excuse to go for it. So, why not? you obviously like her (the person you think you know anyway). one thing tho, a voice distortion device to scare telemarketers? :bugeye: To put it mildly, that is an extremely unlikely reason for having such an unusual device. Of all the things you mentioned this seems the most concerning (to me anyway), id press her for the real reason she has it (i suspect she has done this before with others so id be wary). Get to know her in rl and see, people can't maintain a lie forever. If on the other-hand your underage, id end it - quickly. just my opinion.
it must suck that your best friend lied to you so badly. but if indeed she is your best friend, there is always room for forgiveness. she seems distraught by your account but only she can really know that. i say give it a chance but make it very very clear that you won't tolerate anymore lying. look at it from her perspective: since you decided to stay on the "straight and narrow" it shouldn't be any wonder why she had to lie about herself and her feelings towards you. (btw, if you don't want to hurt her feelings, better change that to straight but not narrow)
Why do you think I should block her phone number? If I asked her to stop calling, I believe she would (though I can't know that unless I actually ask her to). And in her... defense, or something, between talking to her and the guy I thought she was, she gets phone bills which average out to about $600 in two weeks: she always insists that she call me (on my mobile, I haven't given her a land line number) even though I can get discounted calls if I call her. Her reason: she wanted to give everything, and make sure I didn't lose anything, or regret anything. 19 next month. The thing is tho, she lives on the otherside of the world to me, so it's not even like if anything happened, we could see each other frequently. However, she is likely to come to my country within the next month, so both of us are hoping that will help clear some things up. I was also kind of planning to meet her alone, but I guess you'd all advise against that? (She's 19) I've also seen photo's of her, and she bought a digicam the other day, so between now and meeting her, I should get the chance to see some up to date pictures of her, which corroborate what she tells me about herself.
heyya spikey you have 2 major issues you need to consider 1 a women that pretends to be a man is being real or pretend? will she continue this character pretence with you in person just to try and make sure you like her 2 she thinks you should hate her! why has she done this before does she consider you could be easily manipulated possibly some factual things just because you get a picture it does not mean it is her picture if you are bi curiouse then i strongly suggest you engage in such things with people you meet face to face first and you need to keep yourself safe so take a friend to meet them atleast once before you go anywhere alone with them dont ever give them your home address if sexual relations are the precursor she had the idea to engage you in sexualy orrientated communication that was her intention she did it it has been done what is next what is worth the risk your feelings your privacey your heart your life use an online live web cam while you talk to her it is the only way to prove she is who she says she is web cams are very cheap your feelings and life should not be groove on Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Fragglerocker said it all. Listen to his good advice. Further to ponder... doesn't it strike you as odd that a lesbian would pretend to be a man, with the unlikely intention of picking up a woman, on a 'straight', chatline or messageboard? When it would be so much easier to go as her true self on a dedicated gay chatline? Spiky, I would advise you to get out more and make some real friends. Text on a screen can never be a person's best friend... they are just words, clever words in response to things you said exposing your character and possible weaknesses. Words are all talk and no action--empty. You seem like a vulnerable and naive person who is attracted to intriguing and possibly dangerous situations, please take care.
Spiky: I'll be 20 on the 21st. Instant message me sometime. I usually keep to two screen names: crucifytoascend(when@home) givemegrind(when@work or other place) I won't lie to you.
Spikey, Please end this relationship as fast as you can and as clear as you can although, I don't think your friend here will be easy to get rid of, she has invested a lot of scheming on you for a specific purpose that you don't know yet. You really have to be harsh and clear and forget about feeling bad about loosing her and all this crap, also don't make her make you feel guilty, be strong. This girl is after you for a financial scam and it hasn't happen yet, but it will happen soon. I can assure you that she'll rob you and your parents nicely, so make sure not to get tricked to share with her credit card information. Last but not least, I have a feeling that this person might be into stealing personalities. That explain why she picked the same sex same age victim like yourself. In that case be carefull, because she can kill you and steal your identity or she can plan a scam on your family to show them that you ran away to another country and compell them to send you extra money by impersonating you.....I know that's too extreme to think, but it could be a real scenario.
ripleofdeath: thanks for your thoughts. I think I’m getting to know the real her now, though as she’s said, the guy I thought I was getting to know was also her, just … with a different voice. DJ Supreme23: I’m female. So is she. She says she only did it cos she didn’t think I’d accept her as she was. And yet surely she’d’ve had to tell the truth eventually anyway, so I still don’t really see why she did it. tablariddim: I met her on a message board, one dedicated to a TV show, neither of us went there to try and meet someone. Though coincidentally, I have got to know 2 other people from the same board who I am good friends in RL with, so I guess I just got a little too relaxed. She didn’t think she was gay, and she’s still a little confused: afaik, she’s never had a girlfriend. I do have friends and a social life, going on holiday in a couple of days in fact, though I am kind of aware I spend too much time on the net. Plasticwingsmelting: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Flores: I don’t think she’s trying to scam me, surely a better target would be someone in the same country as her, so that she could spend way less money calling them etc? She only has my mobile number, and calls it at peak times, so it’s not exactly cheap for her (she’s been disconnected from her phone line twice because the company didn’t think she could or would pay) Molotov5 - Urm… it’s common? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Any more advice? I guess it just comes down to even though all the replies suggest I stop interacting with her, I still don’t want to.
Spiky, It's all a matter of discernment. And you have just had a very good lesson in acquiring it. Have you learnt anything from it? Here's a teaser for you: You are standing in a hall and there are 3 doors. Each has a sign above it. 1, say's Get Slapped. 2, say's Lollipops. 3, has a question mark. You don't want to get slapped, so you avoid the first door. You fear the unknown, so you avoid the third door. You love lollipops of course, so you enter the second door. You notice the room has no other doors or windows and there are some lollipops up on a high shelf. And then the person there, after promising to give you a lollipop, slaps you hard in the face instead! You get out real quick in a panic and notice that the sign above the second door now say's, Ice Cream and Exit. Which door would you choose to go through this time?
then don't. it's up to you not anyone here. if you end it now you'll never know where it might have gone. but if you stick with it things might turn out well or if it turns out to not be a good thing you can end it later as easily as now.
