I was thinking back to my father in laws death last night, and my mother in law, wanted her husband to be laid out at the house so that everyone can see, i found this really strange and when i asked the funeral directors why people would want this, he simply said to me, so that people can say they're respects to the deceased, fine that i understood, but for the life of me i dont understand why, anyone would want to go and see a dead body, unfortunatly i was there when he passed away and we were having a laugh and a joke, and that is how i wanted to remember him, why doesnt anyone else feal like that? who would want they're last memories of someone they loved be of a dead body in a box? Personally i couldnt do it, and i had to go and stay in a B & B for a couple of days, because we were living with them at the time.

Has anyone else had a relative laid to rest at home? if so how did it make them feal? The room where he was laid out i couldnt go in for weeks afterwards!

Most of my family were "viewed" at a funeral home for there wasn't enough room at the house to have all the visitors. It is really up to the family as to what they want to do with the deceased. That is why it is always a good idea to WRITE DOWN IN A WILL what you want done with yourself as well as with your ashes or body whenever the ceramony is over. ;)

Most of my family were "viewed" at a funeral home for there wasn't enough room at the house to have all the visitors. It is really up to the family as to what they want to do with the deceased. That is why it is always a good idea to WRITE DOWN IN A WILL what you want done with yourself as well as with your ashes or body whenever the ceramony is over. ;)

did you not find it.....morbid? did it scare you to death? i know when i saw him pass away, i couldnt sleep for weeks and weeks!

did you not find it.....morbid? did it scare you to death? i know when i saw him pass away, i couldnt sleep for weeks and weeks!

Not really, I just accept death as part of the price we all must pay for life therefore it is invetable that we are going to see deaths but are going to die as well. That's just the way I was brought up I guess. Nothing morbid about dying only if you let it be seen as morbid to you. I remember, as you do, what they did good in life and the good times we had together as well as some of the bad as well. :)

Yeah, I don't look at dead people. When my mother in law died the funeral home had her laid out for the viewing and then the funeral. I never looked or went near IT. IT being a dead body. The woman I loved was gone.

I don't understand the concept either.

Yeah, I don't look at dead people. When my mother in law died the funeral home had her laid out for the viewing and then the funeral. I never looked or went near IT. IT being a dead body. The woman I loved was gone.

I don't understand the concept either.

i couldnt do it!! the family were pressuring me to see him, and it made sick!! they said that it will help me get over his death, why when we were having a laugh and just giggling like 2 kids!!

Get over it? As if everyone grieves the exact same way. pffft
I wanted to remember her as the way she was they last time I saw her. Not as a dead body in a box. <shudder>

Get over it? As if everyone grieves the exact same way. pffft
I wanted to remember her as the way she was they last time I saw her. Not as a dead body in a box. <shudder>

i am over it i just wanted to see why people would do this!

me and my dad in law were best of friends we were always with each other! and i wanted to remember him has a friend not a cadaver in a box!

If you always remember the people that you lost, they will really never be gone, for your memories keep them alive within you as long as you shall live! :)

If you always remember the people that you lost, they will really never be gone, for your memories keep them alive within you as long as you shall live! :)

may sound like a dumb question, but is that a quote from somthing, because its sweet!

I really don't remember where I read that at but I did read it befor but am now adding a little to the original quote. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm paraphrasing the original quote.

Has anyone else had a relative laid to rest at home? if so how did it make them feal? The room where he was laid out i couldnt go in for weeks afterwards!My family is the picture next to the word "estrangement" in the dictionary so I never had to deal with anything like that. But I was taken to a lot of funerals when I was a kid back in the 1940s-50s and even 60s when the open casket and the viewing line were standard practice. I got used to it but I still thought it was weird. But I can understand it. Most people are so visually oriented that it helps them adapt to a person's death if they actually see him lying there, obviously and truly dead. This isn't a conscious thing. They need it for closure. One friend insisted on seeing her brother's body even though it was mangled pretty badly in a car wreck, because she knew that otherwise she'd be haunted forever by the irrational feeling that he wasn't really dead, and it was worth the horror of the view to have future peace.

I'm not like that, I'm more verbally oriented, which is why I can practically live on the internet. But I avoid looking at corpses anyway because to the extent that there is a visual part of me, as others have said, I'd rather remember the way they looked alive.

I went to a funeral for a Vietnamese friend. It never occurred to me since I'd only known him here, that when he was younger back there he got a lot more sun. His wife had the mortician color him about eight shades darker and it made her happy, but I think I gasped audibly when I went through the obligatory viewing line. I still flash on that experience occasionally, I'm glad he wasn't a closer friend or it would be my personal haunting.

If you always remember the people that you lost, they will really never be gone, for your memories keep them alive within you as long as you shall live!Even when the people who knew you personally are gone, you will always live on in what you accomplished. Whether you wrote a best-selling book, or improved the bookkeeping procedure in a factory so it contributes more efficiently to the economy, or just gave your time and good humor to your friends so they all contributed more efficiently. You will always be part of this great invention called civilization, which is the aggregate creation of all the billions of people who were once its members.

If you manage to leave your part of the world a little bit better than you found it, you can die in peace. It sounds like your father-in-law did that, so you can be at peace with him too.

Some people find it hard to accept that they're dead unless they see a body.

Some people find it hard to accept that they're dead unless they see a body.

Those are usually the bookies that were owed money to or bill collectors! ;)

Sorry to say I thought this would be a thread about whether or not I would finally get laid once I died.

my grandfather died recently and we did go and see the body. I have done it before and i guess i felt it brought closure seeing as i wasnt there with him because i live so far away. His death was made worse by some rather inept nurses who didnt know what a palitive care order actually ment. My brother had to keep telling them to give him morphine for the pain, idiots.

When my mother died, me and my brother were asked if we wanted to see the body, and we both declined.

To me it seems strange to want your last memory of a loved one to be them laid dead in a coffin.

When my mother died, me and my brother were asked if we wanted to see the body, and we both declined.

To me it seems strange to want your last memory of a loved one to be them laid dead in a coffin.

yeah and to me, i mean wouldnt you want to remember them has vibrant people?

Sorry to say I thought this would be a thread about whether or not I would finally get laid once I died.

did it say "laid at last"? i think not!!

however (sorry of topic) if you weern't so damn hard on yourself you'll get laid! just lighten up!

For us, after someone in the family dies, we bathe them and wrap them in a shroud ourselves, so we cannot avoid seeing them. :)

For us, after someone in the family dies, we bathe them and wrap them in a shroud ourselves, so we cannot avoid seeing them. :)

and for you and your relgion that is normal but for me its not, it would freak me out! Death itself doesnt scare me its what is after death that bothers me

Death itself doesnt scare me its what is after death that bothers me

There's nothing to be worried about, you'll just become part of the universe once again, nothing to fear because YOUR DEAD!!!

and for you and your relgion that is normal but for me its not, it would freak me out! Death itself doesnt scare me its what is after death that bothers me

Why does it bother you? I washed and helped shroud my grandmother, and to me, she was not "a body", she was my grandmother who had died and who deserved to be treated as such. I felt no "creepiness" just a very strong sense of loss, as she had been very dear to me. I was also glad she no longer suffered and was free from the illness that had debilitated her. I remember hugging and kissing her and feeling the loss of her warmth (it was 20 years ago).

I was unhappy for myself but she had lived her life well and she deserved to be treated with the same affection and respect she had given us. I find nothing morbid about this.

Why does it bother you? I washed and helped shroud my grandmother, and to me, she was not "a body", she was my grandmother who had died and who deserved to be treated as such. I felt no "creepiness" just a very strong sense of loss, as she had been very dear to me. I was also glad she no longer suffered and was free from the illness that had debilitated her. I remember hugging and kissing her and feeling the loss of her warmth (it was 20 years ago).

I was unhappy for myself but she had lived her life well and she deserved to be treated with the same affection and respect she had given us. I find nothing morbid about this.


its the "not" knowing where you go, all these people around you say, oh you go to heaven, but i dont want to go to heaven!

but i dont want to go to heaven!

There is no heaven so don't worry, just get on with living and stop worrying about death.:)

There is no heaven so don't worry, just get on with living and stop worrying about death.:)

i have to admit i live my life to the full somtimes to full!!

its the "not" knowing where you go, all these people around you say, oh you go to heaven, but i dont want to go to heaven!

What does that have to do with laying a body to rest?:confused:

What does that have to do with laying a body to rest?:confused:


nothing that was of topic, but i can;t understand why you would want a dead person in your house for all your friends to see

nothing that was of topic, but i can;t understand why you would want a dead person in your house for all your friends to see

Cos that "dead person" meant something to me?

Has anyone else had a relative laid to rest at home? if so how did it make them feal? The room where he was laid out i couldnt go in for weeks afterwards!
never had the pleasure of such an experience
and dont think I would care to.

friend of mine who comes from small Maritime village told me they have a tradition there to put a dead person into a rocking chair and play music,
dance and drink like pigs, until they are all wasted. :D
then they bury him