Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.


- What is your stance on this guideline?

What are its good aspects, and what are its bad aspects?

When or why is it good to keep to this guideline, and when or why not?

Well, regarding the enemies, it's a pretty silly thing to say ...UNLESS... one has the strength and ability to deal with whatever your enemies might try to do.

As for friends, ...they come and go like the weather. How many people in western societies, or any that travel a lot, have the same friends that they did five years ago?

Baron Max

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.


- What is your stance on this guideline?

What are its good aspects, and what are its bad aspects?

When or why is it good to keep to this guideline, and when or why not?

It's always good to adhere to those guidelines. Your friends, so that you can assist one another; your enemies, so that you will be aware of their plans against you.

There are no bad aspects in doing so - it's called being inteligent, forearmed and forewarned. Never abandon intelligence.

It's always good to adhere to those guidelines. Your friends, so that you can assist one another; your enemies, so that you will be aware of their plans against you.

How can one know of the enemy's plans? Hell, even our friends can sometimes surprise us with birthday parties! And you want to trust your ability to know what some enemy is thinking?

Baron Max

How can one know of the enemy's plans? Hell, even our friends can sometimes surprise us with birthday parties! And you want to trust your ability to know what some enemy is thinking?

Baron Max

Nope, but I sure woudn't want to be foolish enough to not try! And if you keep them close enough and are halfway intelligent and observant you WILL pick up a clue now and then.

To keep them at a great distance and make no effort at all would be very, very foolish indeed! It would border on being just plain stupid, in fact.

Nope, but I sure woudn't want to be foolish enough to not try! And if you keep them close enough and are halfway intelligent and observant you WILL pick up a clue now and then.

Okay, let's say that you now "know" of your enemies' plans ....what are you going to do about it? Pre-emptive actions? ...without proof of anything excpet "I know" that they're going to.....?

Baron Max

Okay, let's say that you now "know" of your enemies' plans ....what are you going to do about it? Pre-emptive actions? ...without proof of anything excpet "I know" that they're going to.....?

Baron Max

It all depends on what those plans are. If, for example, they plan to have you fired by altering some work records you've made, be sure to keep a copy safely locked away. If they plan on burning your house, install a super alarm system, get a couple of BIG watchdogs and whatever else.

This is NOT a case you're going to present in court, Max, so there's no proof required. Just take the proper precautions that fit the plans.

It all depends on what those plans are. If, for example, they plan to have you fired by altering some work records you've made, be sure to keep a copy safely locked away. If they plan on burning your house, install a super alarm system, get a couple of BIG watchdogs and whatever else.

So, ...you're going to keep someone around close to you who forces you to practically live in isolation, locked up tight with alarm systems and guard dogs? And you still think that keeping the enemy close is the best thing?

I don't know, ....I think I'd rather just kill my enemies rather than have them force me to live in my own prison, regardless of how nice it might be.

Baron Max

So, ...you're going to keep someone around close to you who forces you to practically live in isolation, locked up tight with alarm systems and guard dogs? And you still think that keeping the enemy close is the best thing?

I don't know, ....I think I'd rather just kill my enemies rather than have them force me to live in my own prison, regardless of how nice it might be.

Baron Max

Nope, nope, nope - NEVER said that! I'm just talking about taking reasonable precautions, nothing more. Go ahead and live life as normal - just don't be silly enough to leave your house unprotected if you've picked up a hint that might be their plans. Besides, they would most likely strike under the cover of darkness and you should be locked up then, anyway.

Go out an kill 'em, eh? No - I'm not fond of doing prison time. I'll let the cops handle them if they can arrive in time. Otherwise, I would do whatever I have to do to reasonably protect life an property.

Quit trying to draw this out to the point of being ridiculous. At first you gave the distinct impression that it wasn't worth trying to keep tabs on them - and now you're just saying to outright kill them. I'm pretty sure you don't live your life all the way at both extremes all the time. LOL!!!!!

Nope, nope, nope - NEVER said that! I'm just talking about taking reasonable precautions, nothing more. Go ahead and live life as normal - just don't be silly enough to leave your house unprotected if you've picked up a hint that might be their plans.

So you'd be little more than a prisoner of your "close" enemy. And that's what you'd like to be and do?

Besides, they would most likely strike under the cover of darkness and you should be locked up then, anyway.

So you'd live as a prisoner in your gilded cage ....while your enemy was able to wander around freely. Interesting, but it's also the most modern concept of western society ...we don't want to harm anyone, even if we're to be prisoners ourselves. Which I think is taking liberalism to an extreme.

Baron Max

Two aspects of this proverb:

1) Become better friend with your enemy, than with your friend.
a) To prevent him/her sees your weak sides.
b) To reveal his weak spots and finish him/her.

2) Friend who always speaks affirmative about your deeds, is not your friend indeed. Ask your 'enemies' sometimes, what they think about you, and you'll receive straight and honest answer.

Ask your 'enemies' sometimes, what they think about you, and you'll receive straight and honest answer.

"honest answer"? No, you'll receive an answer that's from the perspective of the enemy, which may or may not be the "right" answer for you. Big difference, don't you see?

Baron Max

"honest answer"? No, you'll receive an answer that's from the perspective of the enemy, which may or may not be the "right" answer for you. Big difference, don't you see?

Baron Max
Enemy in the second aspect is wrapped in quotes, which means that 'enemy' is someone who hold opposed view than ours and someone that occupies lower place in our life than our real friends.
Because, most of us like to hear recognitions every day, although that plaudits are stone blocks around our legs.

But, this proverb is more applicable for past centuries, when knife in the back was common incident... Among friends and enemies...

But, this proverb is more applicable for past centuries, when knife in the back was common incident... Among friends and enemies...

I agree. And it's actually unfortunate that the OP was stated as it was. It has no place in modern life or society that we find ourselves in at the moment. It was intended for those who could and did do something about things on a personal level ...like kill people when they wanted to.

Baron Max

well if you got ur enemy close you cqn keep an eye on him or her
and you can possibly manipulate your enemy without him knowing
and then you can have information all the time of their next move

But, this proverb is more applicable for past centuries

Not really. It was brought to my attention when I heard it mentioned in several movies / TV series.

I agree. And it's actually unfortunate that the OP was stated as it was. It has no place in modern life or society that we find ourselves in at the moment. It was intended for those who could and did do something about things on a personal level ...like kill people when they wanted to.

Baron Max

Not really. It was brought to my attention when I heard it mentioned in several movies / TV series.

It still can be used of course, but today knives are replaced with gossip, false accusations, giggling on others misery,... usually with all the 'word' deeds that cause the setback of the others.

gossip, false accusations, giggling on others misery,...

... and why keep people -who do and say such things- close?
What is the gain in doing so?
Why would it be better to keep such people closer than one's friends?


I introspected on this, and got stuck here.

... and why keep people -who do and say such things- close?
What is the gain in doing so?
Why would it be better to keep such people closer than one's friends?


I introspected on this, and got stuck here.

Because, as I carefully explained earlier, you may discover what they are up to. As to their gossip, slander, whatever - since you know it isn't true you can easily brush that aside.

There are so many ways enemies do this, especially if they are the predatorial, opportunistic and unscrupulous kind.

Some enemies will pretend to be your friend and will have a double personality while undermining you or even using you. All the while, they may keep pretending, apologizing etc and all types of tactics until they are done or get what they want.

Those are the worst kind as they try to get the closest to take advantage of you.

For those on the defensive and not out to hurt or use people they don't like or care about, once you do know of an enemy and thier ways, it's important to always be aware of that knowledge and be on the lookout for attack sometimes behind your back. That way you won't be surprised. The biggest mistake is giving your trust away too easily.

Also, it's important to be aware of who you are as in your values and what other people are because that conflict of interest itself can breed predatorial relationships and can be hurtful. People usually have a disdain and disrespect for others that are very different especially in value systems and they may want to undermine or even outright hurt you for it. It's like prejudice, so you've got to be aware of what company you are in or dealing with so to speak. So you know how much or little to reveal, how much trust they are worth, and if they will even understand you etc. Actually, very good learning of how NOT to attract enemies in consorting with the likes of the wrong kind for you. For this, i've found takes experience and sometimes bitter experiences. You can't trust appearances or even acts, people do that all the time.

I think keeping your friends close and your enemies closer has to do more with not letting your enemies know you are onto them so you can always maneuver not so much being around them as in association because that is not good at all. Or more bluntly, knowing your enemy is more important because they are out to hurt you and your friends are not. So that's the jist of keeping your enemies closer, just know them, how they operate, what makes them tick etc.

I'd say that it all depends on who the enemy is.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.


If I think about myself what I get out of this is not to be so damn honest with my enemies. I don't need to 'keep' my friends close, we have a natural attraction. We will come near each other at regular intervals. With my enemies I am more likely to push them away, avoid them, confront them, perhaps even involve others in the struggle with the enemy. To varying degrees these all seem like healthy things to do, perhaps, especially avoid them. The unifying quality in all these responses to the 'enemy' is that they are honest and open and they create (appartent) distance between me and the enemy. Some problems with this: an enemy does not necessarily deserve my honesty. If I show that I am aware of their intent they now have more information. They know the current situation. That can only help them in their enemyship. This next is rather personal, though I think others share this to some degree. This expression of awareness of our being enemies is honest. There is a kind of boundarilessness to it. To be honest about my reactions to an enemy is treating them consciously or not with respect. Especially the more open, confrontative expressions. If I get angry and express it at my enemy on some psychological level this is intimate and respectful. It is a first step towards reconciliation. It is a revealing of who I am in a more profound way than, for example, not letting on that I know what they are up to.

Why should I trust my enemy with my real reactions?

I have found sometimes that inside what seemed like an expression of anger was also a yearning for reconciliation or for them to acknowledge that what they had been doing was wrong or I was the wrong target for such things. In a relationship with a friend or a romantic relationship, this is all just peachy. Or can be. We can work through whatever it is to a better intimacy and understanding. To pretend I am not angry at a friend is a seed for somethign that does not go away. To be honest with an enemy is to deny that they are an enemy. I think sometimes this can be a good thing to do. If you have the power, safety, self-awareness and so on, being direct and treating an enemy like an enemy can be fine. But often it might be better to not reveal a damn thing. In a sense it is self-trust and a good boundary.

Even avoiding an enemy can be noticed and abused by that enemy. And often it is just what the enemy wants: more space and territory for them, less for you.