Reiku
01-27-08, 10:57 PM
BLONDES
FIRST DEGREE
>A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
>at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
>listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles
>from here!" and hung up.
>The husband said, "Who was that?"
>
>The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know
>if the coast is clear."
>
>
>SECOND DEGREE
>Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
>sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
>and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
>
>The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
>
>So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
>
>The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
>
>
>THIRD DEGREE
>A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
>buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
>door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
>angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,she is
>overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
>
>The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
>
>The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
>
>
>FOURTH DEGREE
>A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
>She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."
>
>A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
>
>The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy .. it's W."
>
>
>FIFTH DEGREE
>Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
>A: "Is it mine?"
>
>
>SIXTH DEGREE
>Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
>Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
>Roe vs. Wade was about.
>
>Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, "That was the decision
>George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
>
>
>SEVENTH DEGREE
>Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
>ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and
>reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
>and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
>
>As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
>ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
>sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come
>home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
>they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
>
>
>OK now, forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today!
FIRST DEGREE
>A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
>at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
>listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles
>from here!" and hung up.
>The husband said, "Who was that?"
>
>The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know
>if the coast is clear."
>
>
>SECOND DEGREE
>Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
>sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
>and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
>
>The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
>
>So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
>
>The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
>
>
>THIRD DEGREE
>A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
>buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
>door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
>angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,she is
>overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
>
>The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
>
>The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
>
>
>FOURTH DEGREE
>A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
>She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."
>
>A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
>
>The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy .. it's W."
>
>
>FIFTH DEGREE
>Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
>A: "Is it mine?"
>
>
>SIXTH DEGREE
>Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
>Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
>Roe vs. Wade was about.
>
>Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, "That was the decision
>George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
>
>
>SEVENTH DEGREE
>Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
>ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and
>reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
>and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
>
>As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
>ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
>sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come
>home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
>they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
>
>
>OK now, forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today!