Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Buffalo Roam, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. Buffalo Roam Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    16,931
    Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan

    Read on. (Pretty funny and accurate!!)


    If

    you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18

    inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will

    swim by, you might live in Michigan.



    If

    you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights

    each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you

    might live in Michigan


    .

    If

    your local Dairy Queen is closed from

    November through March, you might live in Michigan.



    If

    you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the

    year, you might live in Michigan.



    If

    someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work

    there, you might live in Michigan.



    If

    your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of

    his Forehead, you might live in Michigan.




    If

    you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live
    in Michigan.



    If

    your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.


    If

    you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who

    dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.




    You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN/MICHIGANDER when:

    1 "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.

    2. You measure distance in hours.

    3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

    4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard wthout flinching.

    6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

    7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
    both unlocked.


    8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
    girlfriend knows how to use them.


    9. You design your kid's
    Halloween costume To fit over a snowsuit.


    10. Driving is better in the winter because the
    potholes are filled with snow.


    11.You know all 4 seasons:
    almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.


    12.You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

    13.Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
    deer next to your blue spruce.


    14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

    15.Down South to you means Ohio.

    16. A brat is something you eat.

    17.Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

    18.You go out to fish fry every Friday.

    19.Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

    20.You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

    21.You find 0 degrees "a little chilly".

    22.You drink pop and bake with soda.

    23.Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know
    it's not medicine.


    24.You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.

    25.You know what a Yooper is.

    26.You think Owning a Honda is Un-American.

    27.You know that UP is a place, not a direction.

    28.You know it's possible to live in a thumb.

    29.You understand that when visiting Detroit,
    the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.


    30.You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them
    to all your Michigan friends!
     
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  3. Acitnoids Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    704
    Very nice. If you don't know what Vernors is then you're missing out. Might I add a few:
    1) Being skinny is considered less than 250 lbs.
    2) Better Made describes a brand of potato chip not the quality of the automobile.
    3) Slitz Ice is something that can get you drunk.
    4) You think Gull Island (Jobie Nooner) is the next best thing to Marti Gras.
    5) You think bloody marries are for breakfast.
    6) You consider Canadians to be kindred spirts.
    7) You bring your gun to church.
    8) Militia is another word for family gathering.
    9) You think Pasties tast good.
    10) Your speedboat is currently worth more than your house.
     
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  5. Buffalo Roam Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    16,931
    Yes, that a fact jack, Your speedboat is currently worth more than your house,

    you don't put gravy on Pasties.

    you know what high speed beef is.
     
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  7. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,766
    Yes, much truth here.
    Lately you could add... "If you frequently use the words *"RichRod" and "bitch" in the same sentence.

    * "Granholm" could be used as a substitute.
     

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