Do you like to be abused? Do you tolerate your spouse or significant other cheating on you, putting you down, or just down right disrespecting you in front of friends and family. If you are one of these people, perhaps you can help the rest of us understand why you enjoy being a punching bag. In times past I believed this was only a issue that women went through, untill my brother met a she-devil, who has caused him& and the family nothing but hell. To get to the worst of it, despite the fact she has had him tossed in jail 5 or 6 times, she has purposely telephoned him and asked him over while having sex with her ex, which in turn, led to him getting half of his head knocked off with a metal pipe. Futhermore she has threatend to hurt the family many times, yet he still loves this monster and pray's that she will one day see the light and marry him.. So if you are one of those people or someone with understanding on why people like to be abused your advice is greatly appreciated.

I would guess, people just get so desparate to have someone care about them, they will take just anyone even if they are only rarely provided a little comfort.

They need love so bad they are willing to put up with this crap for the few times a year they are offered anything worth while. All they want to do is remember the good times and believe they will happen more often, and that the demon will change.

I think it is kind of a form of people hurting themselves.

I have almost done that too; but one can only go so far you know? It would be better for these people to be alone than be with these demons. Loneliness might feel better than having your skull fractured.

I just kept looking until I found the right woman, which I have found now. There were many times I wanted to go back to other people things didn't go well with, but I didn't enjoy the relationship. I appreciated the good aspects, and when I felt really down, that's when I thought of going back to a not so good girl the most.

Maybe peeps just need to find something else to do with their time to kill their loneliness, and wait until a good person comes along.

It could be a deep psychological thing where people just want to hurt themselves because they are depressed. I don't know, but I certainly know what you are talking about.

For the right person who is just going through a rough time, I will put up with a great deal knowing when whatever it is that is bothering them subsides, we should be able to mend things. But if I find scum I am not going to hang around them in hopes that they will change someday............ not anymore at least.

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Thanks for some insight although I will still never fully understand a desperation so deep. If love is abuse I'll stay alone.

why people like to be abused

Therein lies a great deal of your lack of/difficulty understanding. There are all sorts of situations which people face. The fact that they remain in them is not indicative of "liking" the situation.

People say, "Why don't they leave? Why do they put up with that?" One of the critical, complex aspects of abuse is that when you're abused, everyone but you can see it. It's become your normality. It's insidious rules and dangers and patterns become ingrained, what you know best, what you know as your life. What other people say, or see, is coming from a very different reality.

When you are told and shown and made to feel worthless, stupid, incapable, day in, day out in a myriad of ways from the inconsequential to the bizarre, it’s fuel for every tiny self-doubt, and as you increasingly come to believe the abuse is deserved, justified even, so you are more abused.

Love has a shadowy role here. Abuse is not a consequence of misguided love. Abuse is part of a relationship and, as such, love is, or was, at play. Love falls off into the distance somewhere, along with reality as others know it.

I thought of that old joke, you know, this-this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" And the guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much how how I feet about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because most of us need the eggs.
- Woody Allen

Maybe it's not about neediing to BE loved.
Maybe it's more about simply needing TO love
Finding someone who, at the outset responds to your own affection.
When this falls on its ass the need to give that love cannot be so easily diminshed as the realisation that one is NOT loved in return.

To give is better than to receive ???

Just a thought

Do you like to be abused?

*Xev chortles*

I have absolutely nothing productive to add.

Bbcboy:

I'd rather agree with you.

"For there is merely bad luck in not being loved, there is misfortune in not loving." --Albert Camus

I take it that most of you are guy's, so answer this, If I go knock some man upside his head......Will he love me for life or will I be running for my life? To think all this time I've been wooing and spending.

Yes, that might work. I know someone, his wife beat the crap out of him 3 Xmas' ago..... after the police were called and he left, he noticed she left her glasses in the car - even though he had just got assaulted, he was nice enough to drive back and return her glasses *shrug*

I've seen some guys who are willing to put up with their wives abusing them (not abusing abusing, like life threatening, but constantly yelling at them, locking them out of the house, occasionally hitting them, etc....), and refuse to divorce them. Of course they are not all bad times, and I've even heard the men claim they sometimes deserved it.

Maybe you should try, who knows? I'm not sure he'd hit you back, he might be quite frightened by you, that a lady "had the courage to knock him upside the head" Though you should probably try it in front of some family members or something in case he does decide to hit back........