I forgave my ex for cheating and then the relationship desitigrated anyway. Its not worth while forgiving, the cheater wont change and your just in for more heart ache so its better to just leave and find someone who doesnt cheat. Thats my opinion anyway As for why people cheat it can be alot of reasons, mental illness (this one is the ONLY reason i would stay), selfishness, greed, lonlyness, achole, drugs, not finding the relationship satifying (im not sure about this one, sounds to much like a cope out for me).
I read somewhere that 30-60% of all married people in the U.S. will experience infidelity at some point in the marriage. This is terrible. No wonder there's such a high divorce rate in the U.S.
im assuming there is a personal reason your asking about this? if so do whatever feels right to YOU. No one can advise what is the right decision for you because your the one who has to live with it
In my opinion, cheaters can't be forgiven. There would most likely be a lack of trust. I am just curious to see if other people can forgive something like this. Such as, in what circumstances would you forgive? People used to be more faithful, why is this changing? The divorce rate keeps rising, and people aren't doing anything about it. It seems as though people rush into marriage, or are unwilling to work on their relationships if a disagreement arises. Are people getting the wrong messages from society, that it's okay to have affairs?
BTR people are nither more or less faithful than any other time period. This has been proven by studies of not only different population groups as well as genetic testing of different groups (ie if your y cromosone doesnt follow back along your suposed line if male then your mother or grandmother etc was unfaithful) Whats changed has been atitudes to divorse. Where infideity was hushed up before now its a reason to break off a relationship without shame As i said the only reason i would CONCIDER forgiving now are mental illness or sleep sex because i have a much higher self estem than i did when i was with my ex what your not taking into account is the mental state of the other partner, if he\she is in a dependent state (normal for someone who was cheated on) they may not be in a position to act in there own best interests and leave
It is not okay to have affairs, if some immoral people want to, then there is no stopping them. If they are not happy with their marrige, then if all possible proposions do not work, then divorce, then have sex with whomever.
it depends on the type of person you are and where you live, culturalwise. Some place the woman (wife) has to bear with sex weather she wants it or not. And the man can always gets some chicken on the side too.
The wealthy and powerful have always had multiple sexual partners, kept mistresses, seduced stableboys, etc, on average. In the US, a very high proportion of the population is - in historical terms - wealthy and powerful; meaning, they have the opportunity. Marriages in the past didn't last any longer on average than modern ones - they just ended in death or abandonment rather than divorce. It takes significant oppression and serious threat to keep people from having sex with attractive new partners once in a while. The attempt tends to breed disease and prostitution, or serious abuse of women (it's easier to control women, with pregnancy as the backup threat). Some cultures in the past used to keep a handle on it a bit - have designated festival times and rites when it didn't "count" against the marriage, or designated religious figures - priestesses/temple boys - that accepted such behavior. Modern times, you're on your own. What I think? Don't do it unless you're really, seriously, erotically attracted. That rule would cut down on the damaging stuff by at least half, IMHO.
The biggest reason why people cheat is because a relationship is going under. In America there is a constant struggle for power between a man and a woman in a relationship. Neither wants to be less important and both want the other to feel their power. This is represented in the neo-American cultural norm and its the reason for many high cases of infidelty, for some reason the American society never addresses this condition. In Africa its clear that its a patrichal society, the same can be said for much of Asia (including Japan), and Eastern Europe. The equality in relationships thing begins from parts of Western Europe and ends in America, where it pretty much dominates to date, no where else in the world does a woman and man have so much equality than America. The problem is that they bring this same reality into relationships. America needs to maybe decide what exactly it is to be, Matrichal or Patriachal, or maybe just continue to operate both and hope the folks will sort out their relationships. But as the saying goes "two captains can never captain a ship".
Chatha thats crap. The US is responcable for ALOT of things but this isnt there fault. Biology is ultimatedly responcable for infedility, even species that are famed for there fedility like swans cheat at around 10% which is apromiatly the same for most humans. The LOWEST inferdility rate is amongst the amish and that i think is 10%. Surposedly jews have a much lower rate varifide but this is disproven when you look at the ways women cheat. Women who cheat either "do favors" for those who are socially higher or "get dirty" with those of lower class (cheating at the same social level is VERY rare) but when a child is born its MUCH more likly to be the proginy of sleeping up. In the jewish sociaty the highest social class is the cohans (i think, if im wrong i will try to find the book this comes from a fix it) and women in this social class can ONLY cheat higher with other cohans. So if you trace the y cromison (male decent) then its going to be the same anyway as the group all has the same anyway.
actually I wasn't talking about infidelity but more a reason why relationships dissolve in the first place. I still hold on to this viewpoint. Miscommunication is responsible for failed relationships, and it happens in relationships where either party doesn't want to sacrifice the right things at the right times. As far as infidelity is concerned thats just a product of an oversexed media and enviroment- ala Western. Plus the west also emphasizes on the individual; the right of the individual, the pleasure of the individual, and the independence of the individual. All these things coupled together equals infidelity. What da heck do you think is gonna happen?
In order to justify your position you need to provide statistics on the infedility rates amongst WESTEN and NON westen cultures
"I don't think it's a big deal that Swans mate for life. If you're a Swan, chances are you can't do any better than the Swan you're with, so why not mate for life?" - Jack Handey There is no end of reasons why humans stray from committed monogamous relationships. Life long monogamy seems to be a bad fit for most humans.
