In keeping with Truthseekers sharing of his remarkable accomplishments – for those not aware he first surprised us, because who could believe such an imbecile could ever, with the news that he was getting married and then that he impregnated her with his two-inch pecker – I decided to share impressive instances from my own life with the sciforum family.

I did it!!!!
I defecated today.
It was a long arduous affair and it took some pushing and grunting but I managed to pass that football sized turd right through my sphincter.
After hours of struggle and an intervention by a team of my very best, loyal and, slightly dismayed, friends, a horse, rope and a pickaxe I did it!

Unfortunately I now require hospitalization, stitches and a colon graft but it was all worth it.

Sure, I know what you are thinking, I haven’t done anything more than what billions of humans and even more billions of animals have been doing since the dawn of time, but in my miserable lonely life this is a rare success story which merits a thread and the comments of strangers.

Tomorrow I plan to rub my penis until I ejaculate.

And if I dare dream, one day I plan to eat without having to wear a bib.
Wish me luck people.

Comments and much needed attention below.

Satyr has been banned for three days, following a warning which he chose to ignore.