i didnt know if i whould put this here, but if it is in the wrong place, please move it:


How would you deal with a death of a family member?



Some people, work, go for couselling, go into denile, so how would you deal with it?

I would accept they died and remember them warmly.
Perhaps I don't understand the question.

My Dad knew he was dying 6 yrs before he finally did. We had a lot of time to get used to the idea.
When my mother-in-law died suddenly, my husband went into a tail spin. It was very hard. He had a lot of guilt.

My Dad knew he was dying 6 yrs before he finally did. We had a lot of time to get used to the idea.
When my mother-in-law died suddenly, my husband went into a tail spin. It was very hard. He had a lot of guilt.

I think a sudden death like that is hardest, there are no goodbyes when someone leaves your life abruptly. I've lost friends to cancer, but I knew they might die, so it wasn't a shock. But my mother died unexpectedly a year ago, and its been very hard on me. Since I was away from home at the time, I did not even make the funeral. She was just...gone.

His Mom died 2 days before they found her. (she died in her sleep) My husband felt if he had only checked in on her or called or....
My daughter (the believer) has handled it best. Grandma didn't die, she just moved.

I think a sudden death like that is hardest, there are no goodbyes when someone leaves your life abruptly. I've lost friends to cancer, but I knew they might die, so it wasn't a shock. But my mother died unexpectedly a year ago, and its been very hard on me. Since I was away from home at the time, I did not even make the funeral. She was just...gone.

That's awful S.A.M., my condolences.
I have truly no idea how I would react to sudden death of a close family member. Although I would obviously be overcome with grief I don't believe I would dwell on it for years on end.

Im an animal. Like you. Thats how. Think of the pictures of an elephant and its dead infant. We're the same.

That's awful S.A.M., my condolences.
I have truly no idea how I would react to sudden death of a close family member. Although I would obviously be overcome with grief I don't believe I would dwell on it for years on end.

Its different from what you think it will be like. Lots of things left unsaid when its sudden like that. A parent is as close as you can get to losing someone who is an indelible part of your existence. You remember the oddest things, at the oddest times , you want to tell them things, you remember things they said and did. Mostly though, you grieve a lot.

You remember the oddest things, at the oddest times , you want to tell them things, you remember things they said and did.

Usually just when you think "Dad'll know" and then... :bawl:

Usually just when you think "Dad'll know" and then... :bawl:

Yeah something like that. :bawl:

Went for a day trip to York today - the number of times that thought came into my head...

when people close to you are murdered its the worst. you want to take revenge for them and you get very angry aswell as sad.

its a sad part of life when we lose the ones we love and care about. but i think its better to honour and respect the life that people lived, rather than mourn thier death and not move on. remember the happy times they had, and understand that you will die one day aswell. its most likely the hardest thing we as humans have to deal with in life.

we as humans have to deal with it, it makes you question everything. but its still a wonderful world and beautiful universe. be happy for them that they had a chance to live in such a mysterious and amazing place.

peace.

I'm bumping this thread which I moved from Parapsychology because it was on the front page there, but it won't be here since the last post is from September. Plus, not very many people have contributed, and it might be interesting to see what others say. Peace. :m:

— Rick

Well, when my mother died, I grieved for two months and then moved on. I was young and lucky enough to have a strong family support structure to help me (... us) through the difficulty.

~String

I would grieve for them, obviously, but if they were murdered I would try hard as I can to track down the murderer and make his life hell.

I would be sad for about a day for the loss and then just be happy/comforted knowing they're in Heaven. I have lost some relatives and friends. The funerals were huge celebrations of their lives. No tears of sadness, remorse, or guilt. We rejoiced in knowing where they were.

Since I knew my mother for over 93 years it was very easy to say farewell. We talked about it many times and agreed that she and I had a great life and knew it couldn't last forever. She accepted her dying as part of life as did I. Since we had the time to discuss this for a long time I think that really helped out when she finally passed. I was sad but happy to have known her and miss her everyday. A picture is placed in a few areas of my home to remember her by as I say howdy to her every so often not to forget her. :)

Since I knew my mother for over 93 years it was very easy to say farewell. ....


:confused: how old are you?? Did she have you when she was 12 and she died at 115??

I would ride in the back of my black car with the windows rolled up, smiling, saying not a word.

They're so far beyond this.. so why should I weep for what I can never again have back?

Cry like mad and punch things, probably.

Both my parents are still alive, thankfully. I remember the loss I felt when my grandparents passed away, especially my grandmother as we were quite close. But both their deaths were expected. Their not being in Australia may have helped a bit. I was not confronted by it as much, so I found it made the grieving process a bit easier. Sadly, a week after my grandfather passed away, my best friend committed suicide (long story of severe long term depression that was the result of childhood sexual abuse by her stepfather) and her father and I were the first one's to have found her after she called me and I found myself feeling something was really not right, rang her father and we both arrived at her house within seconds of each other, only to find her dead after an overdose of her depression medication. I grieved for her for years. Sometimes I still cry when I think about her or look at her photos. She was young, intelligent and beautiful, with everything to live for. But she felt she had had enough.:bawl:

I have lost aunts and uncles suddenly, but they were all overseas and we had never been that close. That changed when one of my uncle's (the uncle I was closest to and adored) passed away after a few weeks of illness (he had heart disease), in which time he would appear to get better, only to be struck down again and the process would just keep repeating itself, we would feel encouraged one day and the next, find him back down again. Two days before he died, we were still thinking maybe there might be another improvement, like there had in the previous days and weeks. But there was not. The last day was the worst. He knew he was going to die but thought he had some time and might have been able to return home for one last time. And as much as we had tried to shield him from the realisation he would not be going home, the doctors kept reminding him, with such cruelty that we had to file a complaint. It was horrible. He asked the doctor if he would be allowed to go home (he wanted to go home to look at his garden for one last time), and the doctor coldly advised him he wouldn't be going anywhere and would probably not even live to see nightfall. I can't recall the last time I felt so angry. My uncle just gave up after that. He just shut his eyes and lay there. A few hours later they gave him some morphein to help deal with the pain (his kidneys had shut down) and he went to sleep. He woke up about 15 minutes before he died. We knew then it was going to happen so he spent his last 15 minutes gasping for breath, while we sat around him telling him it was going to be ok and telling him how much we loved him.:bawl: My father (his brother) lay down on the bed on one side of him and his wife on the other and held him until he finally stopped breathing. He was not able to speak at all... but just the look of fear on his face.. As I said.. it was horrible. People who say death is peaceful, etc, well it's not. Even though he was doped up, he was terrified and the look of horror on his face as he tried to breath.. It still makes me cry to this day each time I think about it. His death struck me the hardest of all. I am still not over it. I can still hear his gasps and the sound his chest made as he drew those breaths.. It was.. horrible.:bawl:

:confused: how old are you?? Did she have you when she was 12 and she died at 115??

I worded that wrong, I knew her until she died at 93 not that I knew her for 93 years, sorry but I was thinking about her at the time I was writting.:)

I worded that wrong, I knew her until she died at 93 not that I knew her for 93 years, sorry but I was thinking about her at the time I was writting.:)


lol, oh. got it.
My daughter always reminds me that I have loved her for only 10 years, while she has loved me her entire life.