Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love? :D

Hope she doesn't wake up?

Do it with a live person.

Never tried that. Exactly how does it work?

Make sure they don't break free of their restraints before you have time to prime the chainsaw.

Nonsense. Chasing them once they do is half the fun. Or perhaps I exert myself too much.

Try your hardest not to make love with your hand(s) !

Do you have any idea how much good leather restraints cost?

Nah. Us Canadians use duct tape.

Just use old belts out of your closet. Thats what I do.

nah, heres a serious one Saint,

.....you should spend time kissing her on the neck and breast (chest). Get out the candles and some meditation music and insense and go for it.

....and if it fails, Mrs Palmer and her 5 naughtie daughters will be waiting for you... lol

You can always try the rodeo move:

First, you hide a few friends in the closet with airhorns. Then, while you are doing the chick doggy-style, grab her hair, yell "RODEO!", and have your friends bust out of the closet with the airhorns blasting. See if you can stay on the full 8 seconds :P

There are a few variations to this one. One is, grabbing her hair and saying in her ear "I have AIDS" and seeing how long you can stay in her. You can also subsitute that with "Your sister was better" or initiate the rodeo by poking your finger in her pooper. All work just as well.

Happy riding!

Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love? :D
It's sorry to see the others are not being helpful. Now, I may be a virgen, but I've seen lots of porn :D

Now, the best thing to do is start out slow. Kiss her on the lips and slowly move your hands down her body. When you reach her pants, take them off and start rubbing her pussy. Then, as she is getting fingered, use your other free hand to take off the rest of her cloths. Lay her down on something, and start licking her pussy. Once she has an orgasim, stick your dick as deep inside as it will go and just move slowly. After that, just do what she wants to do.

Now, different people get the most pleasure in sex different ways, this is just the way the person I cyber with all the time likes it best.

The best way I have found is by starting with a nice boquet of flowers to start the evening off with.

Then take her out dinning to a place she likes and always ask her what she enjoys.

Talk to her to make her feel that she is who is the center of attention not you or any other thing.

After a nice meal then go dancing or wherever she would care to go next.

If you get so lucky as to have her come over to your place or she asks you to come with her then that means you might just get lucky and have sex, if that is what you and she both want. never make her do anything she doesn't and always pay attention to what she says because she is the one who you want to make love to so you should try to make her want to make love to you just as much and listening is a key way to do just that.

And no is a codeword for keep going.

Fucken funny Aborted Fetus !, that is by far the most funniest idea I have come across, well done ol' chap, well done.

"Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love?"

Easy. You and your lover should share and explore eachothers desires.

Smack her upside the head with the remote and send the bitch off to the kitchen to make you a sandwich.

How to do blow job?

Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love? :D

refer to kama sutra ...

:m:

"Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love?"

Easy. You and your lover should share and explore eachothers desires.

i agree. share eachothers fantasies and desires, and work from there. that way you'll both gain the pleasure that you are seeking.

According to Monica of the TV show Friends don't be a camper. According to American Pie use different licking techniques while giving her oral pleasure.

I heard different chemicals in her drink will "help" her get in the mood. Watch out though. It can make her a bit drowzy so put her in the trunk of your car.

what is kama sutra? Bible of sex?

The Kama Sutra website:

http://users.forthnet.gr/ath/nektar/kma/main.htm

No technique will make you a good lover, since it isn't about technique but attitude.

what is kama sutra? Bible of sex?

yeah you can call it a bible of sex !!!

check out the link posted by cosmictraveller ...

Honestly, here's my advice...begin with a massage ( both people nude). Touch her and allow your body to rub against her ( not necessarily trying to be sexual). Kiss her neck, nibble on her ear, kiss her all over. Put on some good music, like Enya or soft sounds like that. Candles and Incense are also good. Most importantly, while making love, feel the connection between the two of you. If in missionary position ( male on top), hold her with one arm while making love to her. Being a good lover isn't about technique really. It's about closeness and most of all LOVE.

Make sure you jizz in her eyes while saying "Wokka wokka wokka"
Memories are so precious...

Make sure you jizz in her eyes while saying "Wokka wokka wokka"
Memories are so precious...
ROFL.

Isn't it spelled "wakka wakka wakka" though?

Not sure...wasn't in the dictionary. Would be memorable with either pronunciation I think

I like to give a nice stare right into her eyes as hold her arms under her legs off the bed and start pulling. Harder and harder. When your done say wokka wokka wokka :)

Women like it better when you choke them.

How to do blow job?
make sure the old lady has got her teeth out, and the tell her it a lollypop.

How to do blow job?

If you are a male this question seems odd. never mind...

Press your mouth against her orifice and blow the air into it till no more air is left out in your lungs.

.. don't forget to step back immediately. the return flow of air into your lungs would make you sick and cause brain damage. alternatively you can use a vacuum cleaner with blower function turned on.

There is no "technique".
Every woman I have been with likes different things.
To please them you have to be open to understanding them and their reactions.
It is also important to have open communication.

Give them your credit card and let them get whatever they want. Wait till they come back home and you'll find out how much they want to make love to you.

Women like it better when you choke them.

hell. yes.

Try choking the women I date and they'd rip your eyes out!

Hope she doesn't wake up?


HAHA! haha i love it :p

Honestly, here's my advice...begin with a massage ( both people nude). Touch her and allow your body to rub against her ( not necessarily trying to be sexual). Kiss her neck, nibble on her ear, kiss her all over. Put on some good music, like Enya or soft sounds like that. Candles and Incense are also good. Most importantly, while making love, feel the connection between the two of you. If in missionary position ( male on top), hold her with one arm while making love to her. Being a good lover isn't about technique really. It's about closeness and most of all LOVE.


HAHAH! U MUST FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE DOUCHE BAG AFTER THAT POST! :p

everyones joking, and you have like this corny ass advice!! hahahahahah!

this is by far the best thread i have every seen!


btw, my girl likes it when i choke her?
hehe i think its kindof kinky
(not with my hands)

Get the "I have AIDS" t-shirt and have some goth despair girl for attention purposes approach you. Mind you, she may be pre-pubescant. Thats ok.

I saw a machine somewhere, it was in a factory. It said love machine. Make some there.

Touch your pituitary gland, or if you cant be botherred; get a stick and do your prostate a favor... one with a nail in it.

^ don't bump.

haha!

this is by far the best thread i have every seen!

Yep..says alot about you!!

my girl likes it when i choke her?
Wow!!Something im sure non of us actually want to know, and im sure your fictional girlfriend would have something to say if 'she' saw what you just wrote!!

No technique will make you a good lover, since it isn't about technique but attitude.

you must really suck at it.

haha!

I don't get 'making love', why can't you just simply fuck/sex the person you are in love with????

I don't get 'making love', why can't you just simply fuck/sex the person you are in love with????

HAHA Making love is something that takes place in the beginning when they are trying to get you. After they do all the romantic stuff goes out the window lol.

How to make love?
Make War.

share your STDs

No technique will make you a good lover, since it isn't about technique but attitude.
good point. I see a lot of the wrong attitude in this thread. Though I'm sure most of it is in jest.

HAHAH! U MUST FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE DOUCHE BAG AFTER THAT POST! :p

everyones joking, and you have like this corny ass advice!! hahahahahah!

But the question was serious and he was trying to be helpful.:shrug:

carefully

I don't get 'making love', why can't you just simply fuck/sex the person you are in love with????

I know!!! I've been married 13 yrs and I don't think we've ever made love, not that he hasn't tried.

I know!!! I've been married 13 yrs and I don't think we've ever made love, not that he hasn't tried.

God, 13 yrs married and you two are still at it, What's your secret??? lol

lubrication, lubrication, lubcriation

lubrication, lubrication, lubcriation

You aren't getting her turned on enough then :D

You aren't getting her turned on enough then :D

not my problem

Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love? :D

just make sure you take care of her needs

God, 13 yrs married and you two are still at it, What's your secret??? lol

I think its the fact that we don't sleep together. So every time we touch, its electric. You know, like when you first start dating and get a shiver when he touches you.
And the blanket we keep in the truck. ;)

I always wonder if we were are average though. I think we do it enough, but then....who knows. :shrug:

How to make love.. hmm :scratchin:
Ask Spurious, he is a self proclaimed alchemist :D

Bender: Come on! It is just like making love. You know, left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor...
Amy: I know how to make love!

Bender: Come on! It is just like making love. You know, left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor...
Amy: I know how to make love!

God,You are really obsessed with Futurama

Kiss my shiny metal ass.

Any special technique to gain the most pleasure from making love? :D

Love who your f****ing. Seriously.