...that in a lot of horror movies, all the shit happens in the general midwest area.
Every bad thing happens in the MidWest.

Halloween- Illinois.
Nightmare on Elm Street- Oklahoma.
Friday the 13th - apparently not far from NoES' area.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre - self-explanatory.

Anyone else ever notice that?


Also, if you pay attention to the Jason movies, you note that he is pretty much only killing teens and kids that are having sex, drinking, doing drugs, etc...and if you look in Freddy v.s Jason, Jason's mom looks a bit like Nancy Reagan. Connection, anyone? Anti-drug thing, maybe? Interesting...

Just read the National Enquirer. That stuff really does happen in the Bible Belt. Aliens, prehistoric monsters, and psychopaths with power tools never turn up in Boston or San Jose. :)

Now, who's gonna show there ugly mug in Ohio? I better get the Teflon slugs ready. And the exsplosives. I've been planning for this for a long time...

Ohio is horrifying enough in real life.

Hey - Ohio is great!

We invented the bar code AND the cash register!

We have the secret of delicious buckeye candies!

We're the 34th-largest state and the proud birthplace of our largest President (William H. Taft - 340 pounds of legal-minded presidential wisdom!).

Neil Armstrong's from Ohio. Number of other states with guys named Neil who walked on the moon: 0

PS - We've got John Glenn, too. Well, I mean, not that it's anything to brag about, unless you're some sort of weird space-traveling coot fetishist, but we've got him, just the same!

Teflon, vulcanized rubber, traffic lights and police cars were invented/first used in Ohio. There is a Steven Bocho show buried somewhere in that fact. "Guns & Rubber: Special Substances Unit," perhaps.

Additionally, we were the first state to have professional fire and ambulance services.

OK, I may have just revealed how boring Ohio is (why else would I have time to learn all this stuff?), but unless you stray too close to Kentucky, it's not THAT horrifying. :)

"(William H. Taft - 340 pounds of legal-minded presidential wisdom!)."

Exemplifying the great tradition of Ohioans being at least forty pounds overweight.
I think it's a requirement when you apply for an Ohio license.
"Height?"
"5'6"
"Weight?"
"130 lbs"
"Get out of here - you're too thin!"
"But -- "
"There's a McDonalds down the street"

"(William H. Taft - 340 pounds of legal-minded presidential wisdom!)."

Exemplifying the great tradition of Ohioans being at least forty pounds overweight.
I think it's a requirement when you apply for an Ohio license.
"Height?"
"5'6"
"Weight?"
"130 lbs"
"Get out of here - you're too thin!"
"But -- "
"There's a McDonalds down the street"


Tee-hee! Good point. I blame self-medication in the form of cheeseburgers and county-fair food. "Get yer deep-fried Snickers here! Wash it down with a refreshing deep-fried Ale 8!"

See, this is exactly the reason that Michigan is sidling up to Canada.

I think it's important to note that Taft lost 75 pounds or so after he left the Presidency and became Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. If he could have just made it over to the legislative branch, he could have dropped a few more pounds AND completed the "Head O' Governmental Branches" trifecta.

Oh, and I'll have you know that we Ohioans need to carry a few extra pounds (or in some cases, a few dozen extra. Drew Carey, are you hearing me?) because we need them to SURVIVE. We never know if we'll be walking through sun or snow once we leave high summer. Do you know what the four seasons are here? Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction. Who knows when we'll be trapped in a blizzard and forced to live off pop and Mike Sells® Puff-corn™?

:)

Oh and I contend that Michigan is sidling up to Canada because the UP is practically a Canadian province as it is.

"Hey dere! Wanna pasty 'n a Moose Head in yer lunch, Timmy?"

"Who knows when we'll be trapped in a blizzard and forced to live off pop and Mike Sells® Puff-corn™?"

*Snickers*
Good.

Hey - Ohio is great!

We invented the bar code AND the cash register!

We have the secret of delicious buckeye candies!

We're the 34th-largest state and the proud birthplace of our largest President (William H. Taft - 340 pounds of legal-minded presidential wisdom!).

Neil Armstrong's from Ohio. Number of other states with guys named Neil who walked on the moon: 0

PS - We've got John Glenn, too. Well, I mean, not that it's anything to brag about, unless you're some sort of weird space-traveling coot fetishist, but we've got him, just the same!

Teflon, vulcanized rubber, traffic lights and police cars were invented/first used in Ohio. There is a Steven Bocho show buried somewhere in that fact. "Guns & Rubber: Special Substances Unit," perhaps.

Additionally, we were the first state to have professional fire and ambulance services.

OK, I may have just revealed how boring Ohio is (why else would I have time to learn all this stuff?), but unless you stray too close to Kentucky, it's not THAT horrifying. :)
You forgot Drew Carry.
Oh, and Kentucky isn't nearly as fucked up as you think. It's only the fuckos in Eastern Kentucky. Honestly, you can go there, and there are fuckin' hillbillies living in 10-by-10 shacks in the mountains, and they will shoot you of you come within thier eyesight. That's pretty much only in East KY.
The rest is fine.

I shoot many people that come within eyesight. Does that make me a hillbilly? NO. It makes me extremely paranoid and trigger happy.

Ah, but you are not inbred mountain boy in the foothills of eastern kentucky, are you?
Also, Central Illinois has a bunch of BFE motherfuckers out there.

We're the 34th-largest state and the proud birthplace of our largest President (William H. Taft - 340 pounds of legal-minded presidential wisdom!).


:p did you know that when Taft was taking a bath, he got stuck in the bathtub?
haha, man what a smart president! says something about ohio.

Yeah, also Taft is a direct descendant of Charlemagne, Holy Roman Emperor.

+ the texas chainsaw massacre was based off of Ed Gene who went on a massacre in Wisconsin.
And you only found a few horror movies that take place in the mid-west.

.

Also, if you pay attention to the Jason movies, you note that he is pretty much only killing teens and kids that are having sex, drinking, doing drugs, etc...and if you look in Freddy v.s Jason, Jason's mom looks a bit like Nancy Reagan. Connection, anyone? Anti-drug thing, maybe? Interesting...


yeah I always took that like he was pissed because those sex and drug doing teens were doing the things he wished he was doing. Just think if he couldve snuggled up to a big bong and a sexy drunken teen the killing spree wouldve ended right there and he wouldve enrolled in the local jr college.. heh

Tezcatlipoca's Hat:

Get yer deep-fried Snickers here!
those originated from scotland.
Those bastards will deep fry anything.

+ the texas chainsaw massacre was based off of Ed Gene who went on a massacre in Wisconsin.
And you only found a few horror movies that take place in the mid-west.
Well, I haven't seen every single horror movie, but most of the major ones that state where they take place in take place in the general area west of the Wabash and Mississippi Rivers and east of the Rocky Mountains, and quite a few of the ones that don't specifically state where they are usually look like they're in the midwest area.

At a guess, I would assume that alot of these movies happen in that general area because the people there are isolated from what we deem normal society. This will mean that their way of life is very different from what we are used to. This gives the movie creators alot of creative freedom in using these backward people to perform all sorts of gruesome acts that they might deem completely normal. They have their own rules out there and Hollywood isn't afraid to create new ones for them.

Every bad thing happens in the MidWest.


And there is the White House for proof.

Neil Armstrong's from Ohio
So's the world's biggest stalker.