I'm interested on whether or not you've been called rude by someone. I was just told I was "rude"; "need to grow up"; "have a way about me that's rude". It's a long story but basically someone came in to have something shipped, I came up to greet them and took the item. I weighed, it reviewed their paperwork, and then gave them the price. He was very confused because it was like 70 bucks, then he said he was with an airline and what about his discount. I said "oh, ok.. you're with an airline well you need to tell me that." I did this politely though without any sort of anger in my voice or annoyance.

As I finished his transaction he was quite. I said "ok you're all set, have a nice day." He then said "how old are you?" and I replied "26". I then asked "why do I look younger?" And he said "It's just you have this way about you, it's rude." I was like "wha what?" He said "you're rude, you know everytime I come in here you are." I was thinking "what?" to myself and then I said "ok". He said "you know you really need to grow up, I don't know if it's because of your age but you're rude." I was like "ok" and he said "you'll learn, you will." I was totally confused and thinking "what's he talking about?"

As he left I said "well have a nice day" and he said "you'll learn, I hope you do, you're so rude." I was like "wtf is he talking about?" Then he left...

A short while later he reappeared, I went to greet him and said hi. He told me "you know I just called my friend who also comes here, he said you are rude too." I said "oh, ok." He was completely confusing me and then he said "so I just wanted to let you know that you are rude, you need to grow up and I hope you do."

Oh yea he'd also told me "people like you aren't worth the time." when he was telling me about how rude I was the first time.

So yea, fun day ehh? I thought about calling his home number and leaving an apology but then I realized I had no idea what to say, all I did was answer "ok" to him. Tell me some of your stories when someone said you were rude.

what an ASS!!!! To top it all of by saying he had a friend who says you are rude as well. What a complete and total ASS!!

I've never been told that in my entire life. I have always been told that I was very polite or thanked by others for something I might have done for them out of the ordinary. I learned at a very early age that being as nice to others as I could be sometimes paid off with a larger tip or their gratitude for my kindness. I never expect anything in return for my kindness, if I get it that's fine, if not that's fine as well. ;):)

Yes, I have been told that. Though when I reach the point where I am rude, its usually if I feel I am being insulted.

ever met someone who's rude as hell but always says "I was just being honest"
Tact has no meaning to them.

ever met someone who's rude as hell but always says "I was just being honest"
Tact has no meaning to them.

Yes, I call him dad. :D

LOL, I call her Mom.

He probably didn't like the fact that you didn't recognize him. He probably is proud of working for an airline and expects to be recognized for his meritorious service. I'm sure he goes to bars and tells everyone he's a pilot and gets all the girls to fellate him as a reward for being such a wonderful man. And here you are, some copy store/shipping clerk, refusing to acknowledge his greatness. And, not only that, but doing so in a nonchalant manner. Actually having the gall to pretend that you don't really know he's this super cool airline guy.

You're just jealous.
That's what he meant to say.

My guess is that he thinks you're rude because your words resulted in him feeling pain. For example, when he told you he was with an airline you said:

"oh, ok.. you're with an airline well you need to tell me that."

Instead of:

"ok"

Many people have been conditioned to think they are victims and erect minefields of eggshells about them. You stepped on the "Hellooooooo, I can't read your mind you idiot" eggshell, the heavy obligation eggshell (heavy obligation is what people feel when they are told "you need to..."), and the judgement eggshell.

Of course the real issue is that this person is way too emotionally sensitive and used you as an outlet to alleviate his pain. If his behavior persists then tell your boss you are being harassed. It's not uncommon for problem customers to be 'fired' (I worked service oriented jobs in high school and we banned a few problem customers). Also, part of your bosses job is to let you vent when needed so if you really feel bothered, step into your bosses office for 15 minutes and then go hog wild (you'll feel better).

Not today I haven't.

Most of the time I'm alone, there is no manager here. My coworker went to lunch...

He said his friend had come in before and found me to be rude, though I'm still not sure why, lol

..Because you are?

Rude?

Next time he come in, just offer to fellate him. That should smooth things over.

Most of the time I'm alone, there is no manager here. My coworker went to lunch...

Use the telephone luke!


He said his friend had come in before and found me to be rude, though I'm still not sure why, lol

It's probably not true. My guess is he wasn't satisified with his revenge the first time around so he went for a round 2.

You think? I don't really know cuz he was so honest up till then, lol

You think? I don't really know cuz he was so honest up till then, lol

People whom are honest most of the time can get away with lying alot easier ja?

My guess is that he thinks you're rude because your words resulted in him feeling pain. For example, when he told you he was with an airline you said:

"oh, ok.. you're with an airline well you need to tell me that."

Yes, the phrase 'you need' was like stepping on his ego.

A better choice of words might be:

"I need to know that for the shipping calculation."

nope, never.

http://www.ruf.rice.edu/~macro/public_html/Macrocosm/Divisions/Editorial/website/pages/latestissue/ghetto/2pac1.jpg

Ain't nothing like that in me.

I'm interested on whether or not you've been called rude by someone. I was just told I was "rude"; "need to grow up"; "have a way about me that's rude". It's a long story but basically someone came in to have something shipped, I came up to greet them and took the item. I weighed, it reviewed their paperwork, and then gave them the price. He was very confused because it was like 70 bucks, then he said he was with an airline and what about his discount. I said "oh, ok.. you're with an airline well you need to tell me that." I did this politely though without any sort of anger in my voice or annoyance.

As I finished his transaction he was quite. I said "ok you're all set, have a nice day." He then said "how old are you?" and I replied "26". I then asked "why do I look younger?" And he said "It's just you have this way about you, it's rude." I was like "wha what?" He said "you're rude, you know everytime I come in here you are." I was thinking "what?" to myself and then I said "ok". He said "you know you really need to grow up, I don't know if it's because of your age but you're rude." I was like "ok" and he said "you'll learn, you will." I was totally confused and thinking "what's he talking about?"

As he left I said "well have a nice day" and he said "you'll learn, I hope you do, you're so rude." I was like "wtf is he talking about?" Then he left...

A short while later he reappeared, I went to greet him and said hi. He told me "you know I just called my friend who also comes here, he said you are rude too." I said "oh, ok." He was completely confusing me and then he said "so I just wanted to let you know that you are rude, you need to grow up and I hope you do."

Oh yea he'd also told me "people like you aren't worth the time." when he was telling me about how rude I was the first time.

So yea, fun day ehh? I thought about calling his home number and leaving an apology but then I realized I had no idea what to say, all I did was answer "ok" to him. Tell me some of your stories when someone said you were rude.


You alrite darksidZz?

Anyway, don't take what that guy said to heart. He was obviously not happy about something and wanted to take it out on you. Forget about him, you have nothing to feel bad about.

beat that gangsta up, darksidZz ... it ain't nice being a slave of your own emotions. Its time to take it up to the council for God's eternal judgement.

Share stories please of similar events or else this thread will likely be locked.

Yeah I had kids test me in school if I was gay, by throwing rocks at me, I threw them back at them and run away as fast as I could. It did the trick. Also there was this kid in school who used to bug me with his macho personality and authority over me, kicked me and such...when I was alone and he was alone on the street I ran up to him and kicked him on the ground. He never touched me again. So you gotta fight for your right, darksidZz, smile to him...and than beat him up when everyone's gone and he's alone.

Nice story, I asked if anyones called you guys rude though not who beat you up in school :A

Nice story, I asked if anyones called you guys rude though not who beat you up in school :A

no they never told me that I was rude...cause I aint never been rude to anyone. I told them the "truth" about them and its no biggie to see them disagree.

You've never been called rude in your entire life? What about someone in your family? Have you called others rude before & why?

You've never been called rude in your entire life? What about someone in your family? Have you called others rude before & why?

nope, never. I am mostly very shy and don't speak much. I know people's personal spaces and never cross over their "lines".

Darkskis more like Pepe LePew than Foghorn Leghorn.

Not rude...just silly. :cool:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-saiHSjw_Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCb9lh3nVd0

when I was 7 mths pregnant we had a co-worker and his wife over for dinner. At 1 am I finally went and laid down on the couch. My husband had to hear at work the next day from a friend of the guy we had over, how rude I was to the guy and his wife.

well Orleander is rude for sure, she constantly says how she got me on ignore.

well Orleander is rude for sure, she constantly says how she got me on ignore.

That's trolling and ignoring the response, that's being twice as rude.

No never have actually been called "rude"

No never have actually been called "rude"

Shorty, do you agree that Orleander is extremely rude person?

Shorty, do you agree that Orleander is extremely rude person?

She likes to play childish games. She is one of those ppl that acts one way in public and another in private. The other day I also found out she is a blantant LIAR. She pulled a stunt to make me look like a liar, when all along she orchestrated the whole thing. So I have many words I would use to describe her, other than rude.
I guess you could call it rude though when you ask someone.

Please stop sending me chilish provoking PMS...........and they still keep doing it.

Jeez ur gonna get this thing cesspooled :P

Sure. I've been called rude loads of times...

Jeez ur gonna get this thing cesspooled :P

It's totally on topic.

Sure, especially since I make an effort to be rude sometimes...

It's totally on topic.

Lol.

Hey sweetheart... How are you?

Lol.

Hey sweetheart... How are you?

My back is feeling much better thanks.
How are you doing?

My cold has gone, not that it is anything compared.

I am glad to hear you are feeling better. I have been thinking positively for you.

x

To answer the question.. no.
But that guy was a total asshole, don't let him get to you.

My cold has gone, not that it is anything compared.

I am glad to hear you are feeling better. I have been thinking positively for you.

x

Awwwwwwwww thanks :)

Sure thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyday of anytime.

I've found more information out about this scenerio. I told one of the drivers I know about it and she asked me blatently "was he an arab" to which I replied "yea, so?" and she explained that unless you're kissing their asses they think everyones rude. Now I'm not saying it's true but she certainly knows alot of stuff and is usually able to explain things I'm confused about. I was pretty surprised but she instantly knew he was arab so it's kinda true I guess.

I've found more information out about this scenerio. I told one of the FedEx drivers I know about it and she asked me blatently "was he an arab" to which I replied "yea, so?" and she explained that unless you're kissing their asses they think everyones rude. Now I'm not saying it's true but she certainly knows alot of stuff and is usually able to explain things I'm confused about. I was pretty surprised but she instantly knew he was arab so it's kinda true I guess.

You racist.. ;)

Maybe it was just an asshole, and that woman had a lucky guess.. :shrug:

You racist.. ;)

Maybe it was just an asshole, and that woman had a lucky guess.. :shrug:

Owning my own business and dealing with alot ppl, I can relate to this woman's thoughts ;)

Owning my own business and dealing with alot ppl, I can relate to this woman's thoughts ;)

Arabs (or any other immigrants from a different culture) are often not that well integrated and therefor sometimes have trouble socializing.
To me, they often seem rude.. but I can see through it though. Then there is such a thing as personality.. everyone's different. Any ethnic group is gonna harbor some assholes, just like people in our own culture can be assholes.
So I think your perception is due to cultural differences and poor integration.. probably spiced up with some frustration.

P.S. This is driving me nuts... what is it 'therefor' or 'therefore' ?? :bawl:

I am going to have to go with therefore

I am going to have to go with therefore

Thanks :)

..... I'm sure he goes to bars and tells everyone he's a pilot and gets all the girls to fellate him as a reward for being such a wonderful man.....

LOL!!! Good one Invert.

I wouldn't worry about it Owlly....you're not rude....a perv, yes...but not rude. :) I'm the nicest guy in the world, and I had a customer recently tell me how unprofessional I was....basically for not giving him what he wanted..which was against company policy.

I've found more information out about this scenerio. I told one of the FedEx drivers I know about it and she asked me blatently "was he an arab" to which I replied "yea, so?" and she explained that unless you're kissing their asses they think everyones rude. Now I'm not saying it's true but she certainly knows alot of stuff and is usually able to explain things I'm confused about. I was pretty surprised but she instantly knew he was arab so it's kinda true I guess.

Its a cultural approach. You may want to go to a Middle Eastern country to feel the difference.

e.g. most business in the ME is not conducted in an abrupt or impersonal manner. There are polite social greetings, asking after health and family. When you eventually get down to business, it is conducted in a way so as to ensure the customer feels happy about his purchase or transaction.

I'll give you an example. When I was working in the ME, my brother used to send me books and stuff all the time. One time my package was lost in transit and I was very anxious. So I called the postal office. I was surprised to find he recognised my name as someone who frequently gets packages from abroad and he asked me all details of the package. It was a lengthy conversation and he was very polite and assured me (over and over) that I would get the package, no worries. The next day he called me at work and informed me that he had tracked the package to Jeddah. As he was planning to visit his sister there he would personally go over and find it for me. Two days later he came over with the package to my office. I offered him tea and biscuits, asked after his family, his sisters family and of course, Jeddah, his health and his trip and finally we talked about the package. Thats how they do it and they probably find you very impersonal and distant. :)

Ugh, I've had that experience before in Israel. I've had to tell practicioners of that type of businees that they are not respecting my time and threaten to go to a competitor if they didn't deliver what I came for.

Bet they thought you a boor. :p

They were kind of freaked out that I was getting so angry with them. It sounds like there is a business opportunity that could arise out of that. In the west, let people pay a premium to have relationships with service employees and in the east let people pay a premium not to.

They were kind of freaked out that I was getting so angry with them. It sounds like there is a business opportunity that could arise out of that. In the west, let people pay a premium to have relationships with service employees and in the east let people pay a premium not to.

Those must be western people paying at both ends. :D

Typically, in the East, business is an aspect of your social life, after all you spend a third of your day involved in it. The five years I stayed in Saudi I got to know all the ambulance drivers, hospital drivers, all the local shopkeepers, the local water tanker driver (he used to bring me fresh lemons from his majra), the cops, the postal officer, the emir of the place I was working at, the travel agent, the director of the hospital I was working at, the technicians and doctors and nurses, the guys who worked for me, the officer who was my supervisor in Riyadh, the director of the company that provided us with staff and fulfilled our requisitions, the gold shop owner, etc.

The four years I stayed in the US, I got to know (on an equivalent level) two girls who worked with me, my advisor, two other professors and the guy who cleaned our lab. Seems like a lonely place to me.:p

It's certainly a pickier place. The more multicultural you get in the U.S. the more mistrust there is and friends are carefully picked.

It's certainly a pickier place. The more multicultural you get in the U.S. the more mistrust there is and friends are carefully picked.

Multicultural?:p

Lets see, I met Saudis, Yemenis, Egyptians, Sudanis, Syrians, Tunisians, Moroccans, Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Filipinos, Indonesians and Afghanis in Saudi Arabia. My good friends were a Saudi male nurse, an Indonesian male nurse, a Saudi female nurse, a Sudani male doctor and an Egyptian doctura. My best friend was a Hyderabadi girl and a Filipino nurse. A Mumbai doctor was my goto guy for news of home.

Of the people I knew in the US, one is Korean, everyone else is American. :)

Where did you visit in the U.S.?

Where did you visit in the U.S.?

New York, Miami, Boston, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Chicago. Most of my friends there were ones I knew from back home. :cool:

I also visited in Ohio, Kentucky, Atlanta, Tennessee, New Jersey, but that was also with friends - on road trips.

With New York, I am surprised as I recall there being alot of diversity there. With the other states, its no surprise :). The most diversity can be found in California of course.

With New York, I am surprised as I recall there being alot of diversity there. With the other states, its no surprise :). The most diversity can be found in California of course.

Oh there was a lot of diversity, but not much interest in socialising or making friends. "Playing the system" consumes all time and effort. Florida is the most sociable place, actually. The culture there is more laid back and the people in the malls more reminiscent of the kind of behaviour one expects in the East. Most of them are Hispanic, but even the Israelis adapt well to the local attitude. New York is utterly impersonal.

i get called rude all the time
what's up with that, eh?

i get called rude all the time
what's up with that, eh?

whoever calls you that obviously hasn't seen you fully. :cool:

that is so true, draqon

Well... it does seem rude to call someone big nose.

Source: http://youtube.com/watch?v=s0elOHJNE_c (~2 minutes in)

well, it's not like I'm making it up

Sorry Varda, I didn't know you were hot when I called you rude, can you ever forgive me?
Will history forgive me?
Will my maker on my day of reckoning?

I doubt it... damn internet!
I think hot people should have a small cautionary insignia accompanying their posts, which notifies others of their hotness, that way people could avoid displeasing hot people and keep the questioning of integrity where it belongs- directed at ugly people.
Do you agree varda?

Shorty;
Do you just blurt out stuff like that about ppls appearance in "real" life too?

Varda "Quote" yes I do

So we aren't assuming.

Well I can't see the pictures of Sam, they seem to be gone :shrug:
But Varda in your picture your nose don't look that small!

Do you just blurt out stuff like that about ppls appearance in "real" life too?

Sam had her pictures, she is a tanned Indian beauty (http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/656/monalisa36it.jpg) with blue shining eyes and bunch of Canadian geese in what looks like an Indian dense forest ;)

Sorry Varda, I didn't know you were hot when I called you rude, can you ever forgive me?
Will history forgive me?
Will my maker on my day of reckoning?

I doubt it... damn internet!
I think hot people should have a small cautionary insignia accompanying their posts, which notifies others of their hotness, that way people could avoid displeasing hot people and keep the questioning of integrity where it belongs- directed at ugly people.
Do you agree varda?

If the self mortification does not suffice, I could accommodate you. :spank:

Sam had her pictures, she is a tanned Indian beauty with blue shining eyes and bunch of Canadian geese in what looks like an Indian dense forest ;)

That was New York, you goose. :D

Sorry Varda, I didn't know you were hot when I called you rude, can you ever forgive me?
Will history forgive me?
Will my maker on my day of reckoning?

I doubt it... damn internet!
I think hot people should have a small cautionary insignia accompanying their posts, which notifies others of their hotness, that way people could avoid displeasing hot people and keep the questioning of integrity where it belongs- directed at ugly people.
Do you agree varda?

fuck off

Well I can't see the pictures of Sam, they seem to be gone :shrug:
But Varda in your picture your nose don't look that small!

Do you just blurt out stuff like that about ppls appearance in "real" life too?

yes i do

and yeah, my nose is quite characteristic, that doesn't make sam's nose any smaller though

lol (http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00001/ed_imgSNF0418GX1_1136a.jpg)

don't hate me for this. :o

yes i do

and yeah, my nose is quite characteristic, that doesn't make sam's nose any smaller though

Not all ppl are made of stone some ppl would really get upset if you just came out and said that.
It doesn't bother you if it upsets someone?

I have never done that, I just couldn't.

Not all ppl are made of stone some ppl would really get upset if you just came out and said that.
It doesn't bother you if it upsets someone?

I have never done that, I just couldn't.

it doesnt bother me because, for most of the time in real situations, I give my opinion when it is asked

I don't talk a lot

my nose is quite characteristic
So your nose is "characteristic", while Sam's is "huge"?
Seems you can be careful with words when it suits you.

I'm still not decided on whether you're a retard or a bitch, you're definately one or the other, but it's hard to tell.

So your nose is "characteristic", while Sam's is "huge"?
Seems you can be careful with words when it suits you.

I'm still not decided on whether you're a retard or a bitch, you're definately one or the other, but it's hard to tell.

Let me make it easier for you. She's ingenuous

You mean like a retard?

Interesting that you sugar coat retard with "ingenuous", she wouldn't have done that for you.
But then maybe I am being petty holding a tard to the common standards of human decency?
It's that lack of the visual again, I can't see what a hot drooling mongoloid she is, so I'm treating her like a normal person.

You mean like a retard?

Interesting that you sugar coat retard with "ingenuous", she wouldn't have done that for you.
But then maybe I am being petty holding a tard to the common standards of human decency?
It's that lack of the visual again, I can't see what a hot drooling mongoloid she is, so I'm treating her like a normal person.

ingenuousness is synonymous with retardation in your vocabulary?

does the truth hurt so much that you must needs get it from idiots?:mad:

Being so "ingenuous" that you carelessly blurt out insulting comments about other people to their face, and have no comprehension of how they could be insulted, is synonymous with retardation, yes.

Like I said, my aunty has this exact mental disorder due to a childhood head injury. That is the extent of her condition- behaviour exactly the same as varda's, and this litterally and officially classifies her as mentally impaired.

Varda wouldn't necessarrily be retarded if she was trying to insult you, I'm still not convinced she isn't simply the most passive aggressive bitch I've ever had the displeasure of coming across.
But if she genuinely doesn't know she is being rude then I'm afraid she is, in fact, a retard.

So your nose is "characteristic", while Sam's is "huge"?
Seems you can be careful with words when it suits you.

I'm still not decided on whether you're a retard or a bitch, you're definately one or the other, but it's hard to tell.

it's because my nose isnt really big, it's just weird looking
I'm probably a bitch
fucked off yet?

Being so "ingenuous" that you carelessly blurt out insulting comments about other people to their face, and have no comprehension of how they could be insulted, is synonymous with retardation, yes.

Like I said, my aunty has this exact mental disorder due to a childhood head injury. That is the extent of her condition- behaviour exactly the same as varda's, and this litterally and officially classifies her as mentally impaired.

Varda wouldn't necessarrily be retarded if she was trying to insult you, I'm still not convinced she isn't simply the most passive aggressive bitch I've ever had the displeasure of coming across.
But if she genuinely doesn't know she is being rude then I'm afraid she is, in fact, a retard.

Why should she care about people's feelings? If they can't handle the truth, thats their problem, not hers.

Should I burst into tears if someone thinks my nose is too big or my feet are too small?

You mean like a retard?

Interesting that you sugar coat retard with "ingenuous", she wouldn't have done that for you.
But then maybe I am being petty holding a tard to the common standards of human decency?
It's that lack of the visual again, I can't see what a hot drooling mongoloid she is, so I'm treating her like a normal person.

defire retard, retard


lol@ human decency on the internet, and shitting a brick over a harmless coment and making a big shit stain all over the board with it

I've never been called rude because you all suck.
Plus I'm the Greastest in pretty much every way. Now log off and go to a damn bar.

Being so "ingenuous" that you carelessly blurt out insulting comments about other people to their face, and have no comprehension of how they could be insulted, is synonymous with retardation, yes.

no, it isn't, it is a synonimg for not giving a shit about a discussion board

Like I said, my aunty has this exact mental disorder due to a childhood head injury. That is the extent of her condition- behaviour exactly the same as varda's, and this litterally and officially classifies her as mentally impaired.

if it suits you, i banged my head on the internet, ok?

Varda wouldn't necessarrily be retarded if she was trying to insult you, I'm still not convinced she isn't simply the most passive aggressive bitch I've ever had the displeasure of coming across.
But if she genuinely doesn't know she is being rude then I'm afraid she is, in fact, a retard.


i am not passive aggressive, I am just plain aggressive, I havent been to sam, though


drop this shit already, nobody cares but you

Why should she care about people's feelings? If they can't handle the truth, thats their problem, not hers.

Should I burst into tears if someone thinks my nose is too big or my feet are too small?

Can't handle the truth? lol Yes she should care because some ppl's self esteem can't handle the truth. Even if you think the person is hideous why do you feel the need to tell them? Who the hell wants to hear that they are ugly? It's not really something you can easily just change about yourself. Most ppl would PRETEND that comments like that didn't bother them, but infact they really hit hard.

So would you teach your kids at a young age it's okay to just tell ppl they are fat, ugly, look weird, etc? to their faces because they are only telling the truth? Explain to them that it's the other person's problem if they get offended or hurt by what they might say:bugeye:

Next thing we could teach them is it's ok to laugh at handicapped or ppl with deformities because we are only telling it how it is. If they get hurt by it, so what that's their problem.

Why should she care about people's feelings? If they can't handle the truth, thats their problem, not hers.
You're perfectly describing a bitch's perspective, and I'm not here to argue over whether being a bitch is right or wrong.
I'm here to argue that varda is either a bitch or a retard.
If what you describe is her attitude, fine, she's a bitch.
Is it though? I don't know...

Should I burst into tears if someone thinks my nose is too big or my feet are too small?
You can do whatever you want, turns out you're tolerating it like a femme-ghandi, and good for you.

But to be honest, I always thought ghandi was a bit of a bitch, in the other sense of the word, you know, like a pussy. I'm a little disappointed he didn't just man up and throw down.
Realistically he had pretty big forces to oppose, I suppose, so i guess there was a method to his madness.
You have 1 semi-litterate, possibly retarded, brazilian girl blasting your face.
Pacifism in this instance seems more like the resort of a doormat than a rebel feedom fighter.
If you really want to know, I feel you should fire up and serve it back to the hook nosed dog, with interest.
But that's just my opinion, on the issue of what you should do.
I don't particularly care.

It is a seperate issue entirely to the perplexing question of- is varda a rude bitch or a genuine retard?

I've never been called rude because you all suck.
Plus I'm the Greastest in pretty much every way. Now log off and go to a damn bar.

Not at spelling you're not.. :p

Can't handle the truth? lol Yes she should care because some ppl's self esteem can't handle the truth. Even if you think the person is hideous why do you feel the need to tell them? Who the hell wants to hear that they are ugly? It's not really something you can easily just change about yourself. Most ppl would PRETEND that comments like that didn't bother them, but infact they really hit hard.

So would you teach your kids at a young age it's okay to just tell ppl they are fat, ugly, look weird, etc? to their faces because they are only telling the truth? Explain to them that it's the other person's problem if they get offended or hurt by what they might say:bugeye:

Next thing we could teach them is it's ok to laugh at handicapped or ppl with deformities because we are only telling it how it is. If they get hurt by it, so what that's their problem.

I just don't get why people feel compelled to say something about it..
Is it to make themselves feel better, or because they want to look cool to their friends.. what ? :shrug:

enmos and shorty,
let me see if I have this right....if you look like death warmed over, you want to be told, but its rude for people to tell you?

and varda,
you asked why people said you were rude, they told you and now you're upset about it?

enmos and shorty,
let me see if I have this right....if you look like death warmed over, you want to be told, but its rude for people to tell you?

Well yea, but not by any stranger on the street. I expect friends and family to tell me..

so how long have Sam and Varda been here?

so how long have Sam and Varda been here?

Wha?

Just because they have never met in person, doesn't mean they are strangers. How long have they known each other?

Just because they have never met in person, doesn't mean they are strangers. How long have they known each other?

I wasn't referring to them, just in general.
By the way, I have no idea whatsoever how well they know each other.. although I think it's safe to say they are not friends..

I don't think SAM posted her picture in order to get feedback on how freaky and abnormal her nose was.
She wasn't like "hey BFFs, can you let me know if there's anything innately flawed about my face? I have a hot date in 20 minutes and want to know if I should stop off at the plastic surgeon's office first, be honest now, we're BFFs remember, and I have a hot date. It's no problem really, I can just duck into the plastic surgeon...".
No.
She just innocently showed her face and Varda felt it imperitive to let her know her huge freak nose was strikingly abnormal to a noteworthy degree.

Basically the answer to your question "wouldn't you want your friends to tell you" is "NO! for fuck's sake, no".
We're talking about something SAM can't cover up, it's how she is supposed to look, she isn't unwell, hasn't been on a binge eating nose-fattening-bacon, hasn't been doing art's and craft and got a picture of a big nose stuck on her face, she's fine.

There's no reason to comment other than to hurt her feelings. It doesn't help her in any way to comment on her nose.
So your analogy is deeply flawed.

It might be on a subconscious level, but varda only said it to feel better about herself. She's flagrantly using SAM as a stepladder to self satisfaction.
SAM's taking it in good spirits but that isn't going to stop me from noticing varda is a horrible human being.
And there's something so nauseating about the way she pretends she isn't a bitch. Someone like Xev might have said something like that, but unmistakabley as a complete and utter shameless bitch.
I have no problem with that. That's more "having a sense of humour" than being a shit person.
I have a problem with varda's "who me?" attitude.
If it was genuine it would make her a retard, I doubt it is.
So she deserves to be held accountable, she needs to concede that she is in fact a bitch trying to tear SAM down, or an innocent retard. There simply isn't a third option.

Uhm, Dr Lou, if its not ok for you that Varda might hurt Sam's feeling, isn't it also
not ok for you to hurt Varda's feeling? it sounds terrible the names addressed to Varda..

I am agree with shorty and you, I think its a bit non sensitive to point out peoples'
physical characteristics in the way that could hurt their feelings, because nobody is
perfect, and actually beauty is in the eye of beholder, also this could make people
lose their confidence. However, we can ask Varda in a polite way that its not right
to do so.

Can't handle the truth? lol Yes she should care because some ppl's self esteem can't handle the truth. Even if you think the person is hideous why do you feel the need to tell them? Who the hell wants to hear that they are ugly? It's not really something you can easily just change about yourself. Most ppl would PRETEND that comments like that didn't bother them, but infact they really hit hard.

So would you teach your kids at a young age it's okay to just tell ppl they are fat, ugly, look weird, etc? to their faces because they are only telling the truth? Explain to them that it's the other person's problem if they get offended or hurt by what they might say:bugeye:

Next thing we could teach them is it's ok to laugh at handicapped or ppl with deformities because we are only telling it how it is. If they get hurt by it, so what that's their problem.

If my self esteem is connected to my nose then I need my head examined.

And if you don't know the difference between a frank assessment and ridiculing handicapped people for their deformities, so do you.

You're perfectly describing a bitch's perspective, and I'm not here to argue over whether being a bitch is right or wrong.
I'm here to argue that varda is either a bitch or a retard.
If what you describe is her attitude, fine, she's a bitch.
Is it though? I don't know...


You can do whatever you want, turns out you're tolerating it like a femme-ghandi, and good for you.

But to be honest, I always thought ghandi was a bit of a bitch, in the other sense of the word, you know, like a pussy. I'm a little disappointed he didn't just man up and throw down.
Realistically he had pretty big forces to oppose, I suppose, so i guess there was a method to his madness.
You have 1 semi-litterate, possibly retarded, brazilian girl blasting your face.
Pacifism in this instance seems more like the resort of a doormat than a rebel feedom fighter.
If you really want to know, I feel you should fire up and serve it back to the hook nosed dog, with interest.
But that's just my opinion, on the issue of what you should do.
I don't particularly care.

It is a seperate issue entirely to the perplexing question of- is varda a rude bitch or a genuine retard?

Huh? Seems to me you have more issues than Varda or I.

I wasn't referring to them, just in general.
By the way, I have no idea whatsoever how well they know each other.. although I think it's safe to say they are not friends..

I don't know Varda very well, but I know her general attitude. She tells it like it is, direct and no beating about the bush. She's smart and sassy and does cool stuff with skulls. I like her. :)

I don't think SAM posted her picture in order to get feedback on how freaky and abnormal her nose was.
She wasn't like "hey BFFs, can you let me know if there's anything innately flawed about my face? I have a hot date in 20 minutes and want to know if I should stop off at the plastic surgeon's office first, be honest now, we're BFFs remember, and I have a hot date. It's no problem really, I can just duck into the plastic surgeon...".
No.
She just innocently showed her face and Varda felt it imperitive to let her know her huge freak nose was strikingly abnormal to a noteworthy degree.

Basically the answer to your question "wouldn't you want your friends to tell you" is "NO! for fuck's sake, no".
We're talking about something SAM can't cover up, it's how she is supposed to look, she isn't unwell, hasn't been on a binge eating nose-fattening-bacon, hasn't been doing art's and craft and got a picture of a big nose stuck on her face, she's fine.

There's no reason to comment other than to hurt her feelings. It doesn't help her in any way to comment on her nose.
So your analogy is deeply flawed.

It might be on a subconscious level, but varda only said it to feel better about herself. She's flagrantly using SAM as a stepladder to self satisfaction.
SAM's taking it in good spirits but that isn't going to stop me from noticing varda is a horrible human being.
And there's something so nauseating about the way she pretends she isn't a bitch. Someone like Xev might have said something like that, but unmistakabley as a complete and utter shameless bitch.
I have no problem with that. That's more "having a sense of humour" than being a shit person.
I have a problem with varda's "who me?" attitude.
If it was genuine it would make her a retard, I doubt it is.
So she deserves to be held accountable, she needs to concede that she is in fact a bitch trying to tear SAM down, or an innocent retard. There simply isn't a third option.

Ever heard of projection?:p

Uhm, Dr Lou, if its not ok for you that Varda might hurt Sam's feeling, isn't it also
not ok for you to hurt Varda's feeling? it sounds terrible the names addressed to Varda..

I am agree with shorty and you, I think its a bit non sensitive to point out peoples'
physical flaw, because nobody is perfect, and actually beauty is in the eye of beholder,
also this could make people lose their confidence (if they're bit weak). However, we can
ask Varda in a polite way that its not right to do so.

Its interesting that everyone who thinks Varda was rude to me, also assumes that my nose is a physical flaw. So who is really being rude here? ;)

enmos and shorty,
let me see if I have this right....if you look like death warmed over, you want to be told, but its rude for people to tell you?



This coming from the person who in the other thread said ingnorance is bliss?
You said you rather not know if ppl are talking behind your back, as long as you don't know. How many times have you said on this forum it that doesn't bother you but if someone said it to your face it would make you sad and even cry!!!

Now you sit here and defend this? You really make no sense most of the time.
:confused:

So if you casually just posted your picture you wouldn't feel the least bit hurt if someone said you looked hideous, and way older then expected........come on now. Get your story straight would ya. YEAH IT IS RUDE!! VERY RUDE!!

What if your own kid blurted out something like that to a friend that came over to your house? Would you not think it was rude? Would you not feel embarressed ? or bad that your friends feelings might be hurt.

I am sure members on this forum don't post their pictures to be insulted about their appearance. This sure doesn't encourage anybody to post them anymore.

Maybe I am kinda touchy and sensitive (most women are ) but it would upset me if I saw a comment like that just after I posted my picture. Thank god I have only received nice comments (Thanks for lying guys LOL ) :D

This coming from the person who in the other thread said ingnorance is bliss?
You said you rather not know if ppl are talking behind your back, as long as you don't know. How many times have you said on this forum it that doesn't bother you but if someone said it to your face it would make you sad and even cry!!!

Now you sit here and defend this? You really make no sense most of the time.
:confused:

So if you casually just posted your picture you wouldn't feel the least bit hurt if someone said you looked hideous, and way older then expected........come on now. Get your story straight would ya. YEAH IT IS RUDE!! VERY RUDE!!

What if your own kid blurted out something like that to a friend that came over to your house? Would you not think it was rude? Would you not feel embarressed ? or bad that your friends feelings might be hurt.

I am sure members on this forum don't post their pictures to be insulted about their appearance. This sure doesn't encourage anybody to post them anymore.

Maybe I am kinda touchy and sensitive (most women are ) but it would upset me if I saw a comment like that just after I posted my picture. Thank god I have only received nice comments (Thanks for lying guys LOL ) :D
^^^ now this is ALL bitchy. :)

Ever heard of projection?:p



Its interesting that everyone who thinks Varda was rude to me, also assumes that my nose is a physical flaw. So who is really being rude here? ;)

Maybe the right term is not physical flaw, I am sorry for my bad English, Sam.
What I mean is, its not right to point out physical characteristic of a person in
the way that could hurt the person. To you it might be ok, but there are people
who can't take this things lightly.

Maybe the right term is not physical flaw, I am sorry for my bad English, Sam.
What I mean is, its not right to point out physical characteristic of a person in
the way that could hurt the person. To you it might be ok, but there are people
who can't take this things lightly.

But aren't you assuming

1. that Varda goes around commenting on people?
2. that she would comment on all in the same way as she would on me? Maybe she knows me a little bit better?
3. that everyone prefers to be treated like they are like everyone else?

Me, I like being different. I like objectivity and honesty. What I do not like are hypocritical bitches who bitch to other people rather than tell you to your face. So, to me it is silly to get offended by someone who tells it like it is. Its not like she said. Oh gawd you're ugly, you should just kill yourself and save everyone else the trouble! All she did was look at the picture and tell me what my most striking features are, my hair and nose. She did it probably from a photographers pov, since she immediately adjusted the pic to make my nose disappear. :eek: It was like a professional comment rather than a bitchy aside, her intent was merely to make an observation and then point out that (in photographs at least) it could be adjusted. Whats rude about that?:shrug:

But aren't you assuming

1. that Varda goes around commenting on people?
2. that she would comment on all in the same way as she would on me? Maybe she knows me a little bit better?
3. that everyone prefers to be treated like they are like everyone else?

Me, I like being different. I like objectivity and honesty. What I do not like are hypocritical bitches who bitch to other people rather than tell you to your face. So, to me it is silly to get offended by someone who tells it like it is. Its not like she said. Oh gawd you're ugly, you should just kill yourself and save everyone else the trouble! All she did was look at the picture and tell me what my most striking features are, my hair and nose. She did it probably from a photographers pov, since she immediately adjusted the pic to make my nose disappear. :eek: It was like a professional comment rather than a bitchy aside, her intent was merely to make an observation and then point out that (in photographs at least) it could be adjusted. Whats rude about that?:shrug:


If you go back to my post in post #98 (which I edited to remove the 'physical
flaw' term), you can see that my point is that its not ok for Dr Lou to call
Varda terrible names, he could just ask Varda in a polite way, that what
she did could hurt others.

Shorty;
Do you just blurt out stuff like that about ppls appearance in "real" life too?

Varda "Quote" yes I do

So we aren't assuming.

Now just to highlight the difference between Varda and shorty.

When Varda saw my photo she made 3 comments, duh, 4.

1. I have gorgeous hair
2. My nose is huge
3. I am older than she thought I was before seeing my pic
4. My age does not show.

What do I get from this?

1. I have gorgeous hair

Yeah I know that.

2. My nose is huge

Ditto


3. I am older than she thought I was before seeing my pic
4. My age does not show.

She thinks I am much younger from my posts, and that is saying something, since I look younger than I really am.:D

Now shorty, who did not see my photo but is offering her opinions on the issue.

This coming from the person who in the other thread said ingnorance is bliss?
You said you rather not know if ppl are talking behind your back, as long as you don't know. How many times have you said on this forum it that doesn't bother you but if someone said it to your face it would make you sad and even cry!!!

^^pointless bitching.

Tells me nothing except that shorty likes to bitch and moan. No secret that.


Now you sit here and defend this? You really make no sense most of the time.


Ditto

So if you casually just posted your picture you wouldn't feel the least bit hurt if someone said you looked hideous, and way older then expected........come on now. Get your story straight would ya. YEAH IT IS RUDE!! VERY RUDE!!

Ahh now we get to the meaty bits.

So shorty wants to say Varda said I was hideous and waaaay older than expected. Which is false. What this tells me is that shorty likes to twist other peoples words.


What if your own kid blurted out something like that to a friend that came over to your house? Would you not think it was rude? Would you not feel embarressed ? or bad that your friends feelings might be hurt.

More pointles bitching. Tells me nothing except that shorty likes to bring Orleanders kids into the argument for NO reason except to irritate. (ooh your kids are probably snotty little bitches!) No secret there either.

I am sure members on this forum don't post their pictures to be insulted about their appearance. This sure doesn't encourage anybody to post them anymore.


More pointless bitching. More twisting of words to imply Varda insulted my appearance. More false insinuations.

Maybe I am kinda touchy and sensitive (most women are ) but it would upset me if I saw a comment like that just after I posted my picture. Thank god I have only received nice comments (Thanks for lying guys LOL ) :D


Also translated as:
"Look at me, I'm sooo gorgeous, even though everytime I open my mouth you can see the great big foot inside. ":rolleyes:

All this tells me is that for shorty, everything is about shorty. Nothing new there either.

No I said...........

Originally Posted by shorty_37
Well I can't see the pictures of Sam, they seem to be gone. Post # 70

But very typical of you Sam, to just ignore that. The only one twisting words here is you SAM and that is no surprise is it :bugeye:

No I said............I can't see SAMS pictures because they are red X so I can't comment.
Must have missed that eh Sam.....typical.

^^ more pointless bitching.

You did not see my pictures, but you made assumptions about what you think Varda said.

On the basis of which you are now (and I find this extremely hilarious coming from you) telling her she is rude?

We are in a thread about being RUDE! I made a comment on how RUDE that was.
As you can see I am not the only one who thinks that....

No I don't really care to see you pictures, but now however I am curious about that big honking nose of yours.

This coming from the person who in the other thread said ingnorance is bliss?
You said you rather not know if ppl are talking behind your back, as long as you don't know. How many times have you said on this forum it that doesn't bother you but if someone said it to your face it would make you sad and even cry!!!

Now you sit here and defend this? You really make no sense most of the time.
:confused: ...

what??? Enmos understood what I was talking about. Please read his comment.

You both said you would want the truth, but if the truth is given (as Varda did) its seen as rude. I don't understand that. As Enmos said, its ok for friends and family to say things, but not people you don't know. :shrug: I don't understand that either. Its either rude or its not, no matter who says it.

What was I defending??

We are in a thread about being RUDE! I made a comment on how RUDE that was.
As you can see I am not the only one who thinks that....

No I don't really care to see you pictures, but now however I am curious about that big honking nose of yours.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you.....the essential shorty!:D

Shorty you said you would want the truth. If someone told you the truth about how they and others see you, is that rude?

Shorty you said you would want the truth. If someone told you the truth about how they and others see you, is that rude?

If someone walked up to me and said Wow you have alot of ugly freckles on your face. Regardless if it was true on not, I would think it was rude.
I wouldn't make unflattering comments about someones appearance. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Even if it is someone close to me I wouldn't just blurt something out like that.

Sam you must really think that Orleander is really weak and stupid. I say this because you always answer comments I direct to her, defending her.
Why do you always feel the need to step in and answer questions I ask Orleander?

So Orleander if someone said to you......God you have a huge nose (lets say you did) it wouldn't bother you at all? you wouldn't find that rude?

If someone walked up to me and said Wow you have alot of ugly freckles on your face. Regardless if it was true on not, I would think it was rude.

I wouldn't make unflattering comments about someones appearance. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Even if it is someone close to me I wouldn't just blurt something out like that.

You just don't get it. :shrug:

What if someone said, wow you have a lot of freckles on your face?

You just don't get it. :shrug:

What if someone said, wow you have a lot of freckles on your face?

Yeah I get it because I added in the "ugly" part because it makes it an unflattering comment.
I don't think any woman would find Wowwwwww you have a huge nose flattering.

Listen I could care less if you were offended by it or not. I was just making the comment
that it was pretty rude to just blurt out after someone posts a picture of themselves.
That is why I asked Varda if she does that in "real life" too and she said YES.

I think it's RUDE......as you can see others here think it is RUDE... and I really have nothing more to say about it.

I am agree with shorty and you, I think its a bit non sensitive to point out peoples'
physical characteristics in the way that could hurt their feelings, because nobody is
perfect, and actually beauty is in the eye of beholder, also this could make people
lose their confidence.

Hi Inzomnia ;)

Exactly, but according to them it's the other persons problem if they get hurt or offended by it.
What they say is fine because they are just telling the truth :crazy:

I don't know how anyone can defend it as not being RUDE.

what??? Enmos understood what I was talking about. Please read his comment.

You both said you would want the truth, but if the truth is given (as Varda did) its seen as rude. I don't understand that. As Enmos said, its ok for friends and family to say things, but not people you don't know. :shrug: I don't understand that either. Its either rude or its not, no matter who says it.

What was I defending??

shorty, you didn't answer this. Do you think I was defending Varda?

and what I read in your post is that it is rude to tell some the truth. So if I did look like hell in red it would be rude to tell me that right? or did I misunderstand your freckle story? :shrug:

Yeah I get it because I added in the "ugly" part because it makes it an unflattering comment.
I don't think any woman would find Wowwwwww you have a huge nose flattering.

Listen I could care less if you were offended by it or not. I was just making the comment
that it was pretty rude to just blurt out after someone posts a picture of themselves.
That is why I asked Varda if she does that in "real life" too and she said YES.

I think it's RUDE......as you can see others here think it is RUDE... and I really have nothing more to say about it.

So if some one said you have a lot of freckles, you would burst into tears. Is that right?

I don't know Varda very well, but I know her general attitude. She tells it like it is, direct and no beating about the bush. She's smart and sassy and does cool stuff with skulls. I like her. :)

I like Varda as well.
I have to say that I wouldn't have said what she said though.. I can see how it can be considered rude by many people.

....So Orleander if someone said to you......God you have a huge nose (lets say you did) it wouldn't bother you at all? you wouldn't find that rude?

Yes, I think it was. But is the truth rude? You said you would want to know the truth. So in that case, how could it possibly be rude to you?

That's what I don't understand. You say you want the truth, but then attack someone who tells it.

I like Varda as well.
I have to say that I wouldn't have said what she said though.. I can see how it can be considered rude by many people.

Are rude and tactless the same thing? :confused:

So if some one said you have a lot of freckles, you would burst into tears. Is that right?

No it's wrong it wouldn't. But if someone said I had a hugggggggeeee nose and it made my face disappear like Varda said to you, it would upset me.
It sure wouldn't make me feel good.

SAM, you are tragically ignorant if you can't see varda is feeding her self esteem by criticising your physical appearance.
It's just so obvious it's not even funny.
It is like she said "oh gawd your ugly", that is exactly what she's saying.
Read between the lines.
Look over the thread again, perhaps "you have a big nose" in itself doesn't, by itself, constitute an insult (in some bizarre culture), but there are countless clues that varda was scavenging on you in that thread.
"You're older than I thought you were", "I don't like big breasts" etc are all her asserting femme dominance over you.

"Just so you know, I'm younger and prettier than you", was the basis of her whole interest in the discussion.

She actually got defensive when you said you had big tits. Basically said "so? big tits don't matter, they're not that good anyway, my hair is nice and curly".
Why would she do that?
She's competing with you while you play nice and you're not even picking up on it.
You not getting it is what makes it so painfully mean.
You're incredibly naive.
Hopefully the way you are defending her will eat away at her evil soul, but it would seem she has no conscience to begin with.

Projecting?
Maybe it is being a jerk myself that makes varda so flagrantly transparent to me.
You should trust me because I'm an expert on assholes.
I guess I'm taking for granted how clear this is to a wiley veteran such as myself.
There's no mistaking the cues I'm picking up.
I know bitchy females very well, her passive aggression is primitive compared to what I'm used to, she's as subtle as a kick in the head.
It's quite adorable that you can't pick up on it, but you need to wise up to western women if you can't see that she's shitting all over you.

Now just to highlight the difference between Varda and shorty.

When Varda saw my photo she made 3 comments, duh, 4.

1. I have gorgeous hair
2. My nose is huge
3. I am older than she thought I was before seeing my pic
4. My age does not show.

Forgive me, but aren't points 3 and 4 a bit contradicting ? :p

shorty, you didn't answer this. Do you think I was defending Varda?

and what I read in your post is that it is rude to tell some the truth. So if I did look like hell in red it would be rude to tell me that right? or did I misunderstand your freckle story? :shrug:

If you posted a picture of yourself in a red dress. I thought damn she looks like hell warmed over in it.

No I wouldn't post:
Hey Orleander I like your hair but you look god awful in that picture. You shouldn't wear red it makes you look like hell.

Forgive me, but aren't points 3 and 4 a bit contradicting ?

Nope.

She saw my picture and said I was older than she had expected.

When I told her my age, she said it does not show. :)

No it's wrong it wouldn't. But if someone said I had a hugggggggeeee nose and it made my face disappear like Varda said to you, it would upset me.
It sure wouldn't make me feel good.

Why? If you had a huge nose, would it be a deep dark secret?:confused:

SAM, you are tragically ignorant if you can't see varda is feeding her self esteem by criticising your physical appearance.
It's just so obvious it's not even funny.
It is like she said "oh gawd your ugly", that is exactly what she's saying.
Read between the lines.
Look over the thread again, perhaps "you have a big nose" in itself doesn't, by itself, constitute an insult (in some bizarre culture), but there are countless clues that varda was scavenging on you in that thread.
"You're older than I thought you were", "I don't like big breasts" etc are all her asserting femme dominance over you.

"Just so you know, I'm younger and prettier than you", was the basis of her whole interest in the discussion.

She actually got defensive when you said you had big tits. Basically said "so? big tits don't matter, they're not that good anyway, my hair is nice and curly".
Why would she do that?
She's competing with you while you play nice and you're not even picking up on it.
You not getting it is what makes it so painfully mean.
You're incredibly naive.
Hopefully the way you are defending her will eat away at her evil soul, but it would seem she has no conscience to begin with.

Projecting?
Maybe it is being a jerk myself that makes varda so flagrantly transparent to me.
You should trust me because I'm an expert on assholes.
I guess I'm taking for granted how clear this is to a wiley veteran such as myself.
There's no mistaking the cues I'm picking up.
I know bitchy females very well, her passive aggression is primitive compared to what I'm used to, she's as subtle as a kick in the head.
It's quite adorable that you can't pick up on it, but you need to wise up to western women if you can't see that she's shitting all over you.

You're nuts. :crazy:

But in a nice way.

You both said you would want the truth, but if the truth is given (as Varda did) its seen as rude.
I never said Varda was being rude..

As Enmos said, its ok for friends and family to say things, but not people you don't know. :shrug: I don't understand that either. Its either rude or its not, no matter who says it.
The keyword is care. If people that care about you point out something to you like "You really look awful in red", it is because they CARE about you.. they don't want you to look bad..
On the other hand, what is the motivation for a complete stranger to say the same thing ?
This is what I meant.. is it so strange ?

I never said Varda was being rude..


The keyword is care. If people that care about you point out something to you like "You really look awful in red", it is because they CARE about you.. they don't want you to look bad..
On the other hand, what is the motivation for a complete stranger to say the same thing ?
This is what I meant.. is it so strange ?

Is saying "You look awful" the same as saying "You have a huge nose?"

Is saying, your hair is too curly the same as saying your hair is awful?

SAM, you are tragically ignorant if you can't see varda is feeding her self esteem by criticising your physical appearance.
It's just so obvious it's not even funny.
It is like she said "oh gawd your ugly", that is exactly what she's saying.
Read between the lines.
Look over the thread again, perhaps "you have a big nose" in itself doesn't, by itself, constitute an insult (in some bizarre culture), but there are countless clues that varda was scavenging on you in that thread.
"You're older than I thought you were", "I don't like big breasts" etc are all her asserting femme dominance over you.

"Just so you know, I'm younger and prettier than you", was the basis of her whole interest in the discussion.



I find this whole thing hilarious that Sam is defending her lolol

BTW you forgot these:

Your nose is hugggggggggggeee

well, your face did disappear

your age really doesnt show, btw
at least in a crappy phone pic

( in this one she is saying, it probably would show if you took a decent real picture of yourself)

Nope.

She saw my picture and said I was older than she had expected.

When I told her my age, she said it does not show. :)






Yeah she said your age didn't show on some crappy blurry phone picture.
So in saying that you don't see what she is REALLY SAYING????? God you can't be this dumb.

Shorty you said you would want the truth. If someone told you the truth about how they and others see you, is that rude?

Shorty (and I) reacted to you saying you rather lived in complete delusion than know some uncomfortable truths..
It's not quite compatible with this thread, or is it ? :bugeye:

Actually, I am VERY surprised that you defend Varda on this.
From the other thread:
I firmly believe ignorance is bliss. If you hate me and want to talk about me behind my back, I'm ok with that. Honesty and getting everything out in the open is highly overrated!
Many people would rather not know if someone has cheated on them. The other person can live with the guilt, I'd rather not. As far as I know I've never been cheated on and I'm ok thinking that.
Than you can only be happy provided that illusion is maintained.
yep, and I'm ok with that.
Its like this, my favorite color is red. But maybe I look like death warmed over in red. How is it doing me any good to know that? Its the truth, but I am blissfully happy in my ignorance wearing red.

You DO NOT want to hear things like 'your nose is huge'. You absolutely don't want to hear it, you want to stay in your delusion that all is perfect.
Now HOW ON EARTH can you then defend Varda's remark ??

I never said Varda was being rude..


The keyword is care. If people that care about you point out something to you like "You really look awful in red", it is because they CARE about you.. they don't want you to look bad..
On the other hand, what is the motivation for a complete stranger to say the same thing ?
This is what I meant.. is it so strange ?

Yeah I mean would you walk up to a co worker you didn't know that well and say;
Where did you get that outfit, it makes your ass look 3 ft wide.

Nope.

She saw my picture and said I was older than she had expected.

When I told her my age, she said it does not show. :)

Ah lol..
So point 3 is invalid then :p

Are rude and tactless the same thing? :confused:

:confused: You lost me..

Shorty (and I) reacted to you saying you rather lived in complete delusion than know some uncomfortable truths..
It's not quite compatible with this thread, or is it ? :bugeye:

Actually, I am VERY surprised that you defend Varda on this.
From the other thread:





You DO NOT want to hear things like 'your nose is huge'. You absolutely don't want to hear it, you want to stay in your delusion that all is perfect.
Now HOW ON EARTH can you then defend Varda's remark ??

THIS IS WHAT I SAID ENMOS. MY POST # 101...........THEY JUST DON"T GET IT LOL Orleander changes her answers and opinions like the wind, it's hard to keep track.

:confused: You lost me..

Aren't you starting to feel like you are just :wallbang:

Is saying "You look awful" the same as saying "You have a huge nose?"

Is saying, your hair is too curly the same as saying your hair is awful?

Like I said it depends on who says it. If a complete stranger says "Your hair is too curly", what I am I supposed to think of his/her motives for pointing it out ? It would make me uncomfortable, and unsure of his/her intentions.
If a friend or a family member says it, it is because they want to help me by pointing it out.. because they care about me.

post 121, I said it was rude.
But I don't understand how asking someone who wants the truth, how the truth is then seen as rude. I also don't understand how asking a question is seen as defending someone.
SO QUIT YELLING AT ME!!!!

Like I said it depends on who says it. If a complete stranger says "Your hair is too curly", what I am I supposed to think of his/her motives for pointing it out ? It would make me uncomfortable, and unsure of his/her intentions.
If a friend or a family member says it, it is because they want to help me by pointing it out.. because they care about me.

ah, good old 'constructive criticism'. I hate it.

Like I said it depends on who says it. If a complete stranger says "Your hair is too curly", what I am I supposed to think of his/her motives for pointing it out ? It would make me uncomfortable, and unsure of his/her intentions.
If a friend or a family member says it, it is because they want to help me by pointing it out.. because they care about me.

Yes but I will ask someones opinion sometimes. What do you think of this dress? Do you think my hair looks better up or down? etc.
I want the truth. The ppl I ask though have enough decency though to not just blurt out insults. They point out their opinion in a tactful way.
Plus they aren't picking on my PHYSICAL appearance that I can do nothing about. Yeah you look good if it wasn't for that big ass of yours, you would look better in that dress if you got a breast reduction.....:rolleyes:

I find this whole thing hilarious that Sam is defending her lolol

BTW you forgot these:

Your nose is hugggggggggggeee

well, your face did disappear

your age really doesnt show, btw
at least in a crappy phone pic

( in this one she is saying, it probably would show if you took a decent real picture of yourself)

And as usual you show your reading incomprehension (as well as tendency to argue from ignorance).

Did you see the adjustment she made to my picture? In which my face disappeared?

And yeah, hazy lighting is good for hiding wrinkles, which, as a photographer, she knows. She gave me an objective assessment.

post 121, I said it was rude.
But I don't understand how asking someone who wants the truth, how the truth is then seen as rude. I also don't understand how asking a question is seen as defending someone.
SO QUIT YELLING AT ME!!!!

:bugeye:
The OP of that thread:
When the two are incompatible, what justification is there for pursuing truth?

I think Robert Nozick's 'experience machine' thought experiment provides a good example of what I'm thinking of. The situation is roughly this:
High technology gives you the option of entering a substantially more pleasurable virtual reality that is "perfect" and removes all memories of entering it.

What reason would one have for not entering it? Why would one value the truth of this reality over the pleasure of an illusion?

I rest my case..

...They point out their opinion in a tactful way....

so rude and tactless are the same thing.

Is it meant to be mean? Or is it just lacking in social skills?

And as usual you show your reading incomprehension.

Did you see the adjustment she made to my picture? In which my face disappeared?

No you are just naive as usual. Why didn't she just leave it as.....You don't show your age. No she added the part about the crappy unclear picture just to say. You can't tell from that picture though, if it was clear I could probably see your age.

ah, good old 'constructive criticism'. I hate it.

Yeah well.. that's your problem isn't it ? :bugeye:

[QUOTE=Enmos;1734650...I rest my case..[/QUOTE]

good. :D

Yeah you look good if it wasn't for that big ass of yours, you would look better in that dress if you got a breast reduction.....:

But you know that you have a bubble butt and big boobs. You just don't want people to tell you they know it too. Weird. :D

Yeah well.. that's your problem isn't it ? :bugeye:

Exactly my point. :)

No you are just naive as usual. Why didn't she just leave it as.....You don't show your age. No she added the part about the crappy unclear picture just to say. You can't tell from that picture though, if it was clear I could probably see your age.

Which is a very valid point. For example, if you consistently posted photos at a certain angle and in some kind of unclear light, I would assume you were tweaking it to hide some flaws. Maybe wrinkles, maybe scars, maybe an overbite. :shrug:

good. :D

The point is, that you can't just drag posts from that thread into this one. The answers in that thread are based on an unrealistic OP..

The point is, that you can't just drag posts from that thread into this one. The answers in that thread are based on an unrealistic OP..

I grabbed posts from another thread? which one?

Exactly my point. :)

What's that ?
Orleander apparently hates constructive criticism.. I mean, wtf ?
What is she doing asking questions on a science forum then ?

What's that ?
Orleander apparently hates constructive criticism.. I mean, wtf ?
What is she doing asking questions on a science forum then ?

God this is hopeless. I am starting to feel like bashing my own head against the wall LOL
I think we should start a new Picture thread. Everyone post a picture of yourself and just
let the insults fly....

I grabbed posts from another thread? which one?

Shall I find the matching post from the other thread for you ?

enmos and shorty,
let me see if I have this right....if you look like death warmed over, you want to be told, but its rude for people to tell you?

and varda,
you asked why people said you were rude, they told you and now you're upset about it?

Hi Inzomnia ;)

Exactly, but according to them it's the other persons problem if they get hurt or offended by it.
What they say is fine because they are just telling the truth

I don't know how anyone can defend it as not being RUDE.


Hi too, Shorty ;)

Its a bit hot in here isn't it? daily soap on sciforums.. :o I am agree to most
of your point of view, and some other peoples' as well. I just thought there
is a bit misunderstanding here.

Ok ciao for now.


I'm going to watch karnaval with my boyfriend:
http://www.koeln.de/en/whatson/carnival/crazy.html
its a carnival week here in Koeln, yay! Sorry for this off-topic post

What's that ?
Orleander apparently hates constructive criticism.. I mean, wtf ?
What is she doing asking questions on a science forum then ?

That if you have a problem with criticism or perceived criticism, its your problem.;)

You could respond to "hey you got a fat ass" with "Yeah thanks I know" or "arrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh"

Your choice. Neither of them are gonna change the fat ass you got, if you got one.

That if you have a problem with criticism or perceived criticism, its your problem.;)

You could respond to "hey you got a fat ass" with "Yeah thanks I know" or "arrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh"

Your choice. Neither of them are gonna change the fat ass you got, if you got one.

I never said I have any problem.. :shrug:
It seems Orleander is the one with the problem here.. not me.

Edit: btw. its a very small step from "Hey you got a fat ass" to just "Fat ass !", wouldn't you say ?

That if you have a problem with criticism or perceived criticism, its your problem.;)

You could respond to "hey you got a fat ass" with "Yeah thanks I know" or "arrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh"

Your choice.

So since it's apparently ok for Adults to behave in this manner, just blurting out how it is. Is it ok for our kids to do the same. Is it okay for little "johnny" to go to school and say to his supply teacher;
You have a hugggggggeee nose. Mrs. Botox( real teacher) is way prettier then you.
He is only telling the truth.....:shrug:

So since it's apparently ok for Adults to behave in this manner, just blurting out how it is. Is it ok for our kids to do the same. Is it okay for little "johnny" to go to school and say to his supply teacher;
You have a hugggggggeee nose. Mrs. Botox( real teacher) is way prettier then you.
He is only telling the truth.....:shrug:

You just don't get it.

I never said I have any problem.. :shrug:
It seems Orleander is the one with the problem here.. not me.

Whats her problem?

I never said I have any problem.. :shrug:
It seems Orleander is the one with the problem here.. not me.

Edit: btw. its a very small step from "Hey you got a fat ass" to just "Fat ass !", wouldn't you say ?

If you have a fat ass, people are bound to notice it. Some may comment on it. Its considered an asset in some African countries. If its considered pejorative in yours, that speaks to cultural bias against fat asses and probably fat people. Its like calling someone a nigger. Its only a pejorative if a white person says it, because being a nigger in and of itself is not a bad thing, just like having a big nose or a fat ass is an expression of genetic diversity or environmental influences. If you attach stigma or judgement to it, you should first ask yourself why.

To me Vardas comment was just that, a comment. Would it have an impact on further discussions between us? Would she be haunted by my nose if she had to discuss a POV with me? I find shorty far more offensive, mostly because her intent is malicious rather than objective. She aims to provoke, insering snide comments about people she does not like, using "me too" comments when someone else comments negatively on people she does not like. Using arguments like -see? everyone else agrees with me, I'm right - as if truth was based on mass appeal.

Whats her problem?

From a few pages back:
I just don't get why people feel compelled to say something about it..
Is it to make themselves feel better, or because they want to look cool to their friends.. what ? :shrug:

enmos and shorty,
let me see if I have this right....if you look like death warmed over, you want to be told, but its rude for people to tell you?

and varda,
you asked why people said you were rude, they told you and now you're upset about it?

Well yea, but not by any stranger on the street. I expect friends and family to tell me..

so how long have Sam and Varda been here?

Wha?

Just because they have never met in person, doesn't mean they are strangers. How long have they known each other?

I wasn't referring to them, just in general.
By the way, I have no idea whatsoever how well they know each other.. although I think it's safe to say they are not friends..

what??? Enmos understood what I was talking about. Please read his comment.

You both said you would want the truth, but if the truth is given (as Varda did) its seen as rude. I don't understand that. As Enmos said, its ok for friends and family to say things, but not people you don't know. :shrug: I don't understand that either. Its either rude or its not, no matter who says it.

What was I defending??

You just don't get it.



Enlighten me then :rolleyes:

You said:

Why should she care about people's feelings? If they can't handle the truth, thats their problem, not hers.

So it's basically ok to pick on someones appearance right? It's their problem if they can't handle it.
So wouldn't it be the same if your kids did that too? My kids know better. They know it might hurt someones feelings. I always told them, think of how you would feel if someone said that to you. Isn't this all just common sense?

Why are you defending the fact that it is ok to just be a royal bitch. Trample over ppls self esteem who the fuk cares..that's their problem.

Jeez and I have been called a Bitch here...I don't hold a candle to you women.

If you have a fat ass, people are bound to notice it. Some may comment on it. Its considered an asset in some African countries. If its considered pejorative in yours, that speaks to cultural bias against fat asses and probably fat people. Its like calling someone a nigger. Its only a pejorative if a white person says it, because being a nigger in and of itself is not a bad thing, just like having a big nose or a fat ass is an expression of genetic diversity or environmental influences. If you attach stigma or judgement to it, you should first ask yourself why.

So everyone can just call everyone else whatever they want, as long as it's true ?

You are missing the point completely however. It is the intend that matters, not what's being said.

I believe I am going to ask this for the third time now: If a complete stranger on the street says you have a big nose (or whatever) while walking past, what is his motive to do so ?

From a few pages back:

I'd rather you said it. Whats her problem?:)

So everyone can just call everyone else whatever they want, as long as it's true ?

You are missing the point completely however. It is the intend that matters, not what's being said.

I believe I am going to ask this for the third time now: If a complete stranger on the street says you have a big nose (or whatever) while walking past, what is his motive to do so ?

I'm glad you brought up intent.

If a complete stranger told me I had a big nose, should I be offended?

I'd rather you said it. Whats her problem?:)

Her problem is she changes her mind and opinions like the wind. In one thread she will say something, then not even 15 mins later she will say something completely opposite in another thread. She is constantly contradicating her own views and opinions.:bugeye:

I'd rather you said it. Whats her problem?:)

Her not understanding my point of view, she is making it her problem apparently..

Her not understanding my point of view, she is making it her problem apparently..

Like people saying Varda is rude? She said it to me. Neither of us think it is rude, but everyone else has an opinion on it.

I'm glad you brought up intent.

If a complete stranger told me I had a big nose, should I be offended?

Should ? No.. I am not going to tell you that you should be offended.

Care to answer my question now ?

Her problem is she changes her mind and opinions like the wind. In one thread she will say something, then not even 15 mins later she will say something completely opposite in another thread. She is constantly contridicating her own views and opinions.:bugeye:

Its called a discussion. Unlike you, we don't come here to share our feelings.

Like people saying Varda is rude? She said it to me. Neither of us think it is rude, but everyone else has an opinion on it.

See, this is part of the problem.. I never said Varda was being rude. In fact I didn't even bring it up. I was talking in general, after all this thread is called "Have you ever been called rude?".. :bugeye:

Its called a discussion. Unlike you, we don't come here to share our feelings.

Discussion ? Without accepting constructive criticism ??

Should ? No.. I am not going to tell you that you should be offended.

Care to answer my question now ?

I've never had it happen to me. If a complete stranger came up to me and said I had a big nose, I would say, Thanks I know.

I certainly would not be concerned with what any Tom Dick or Harry thought about my nose, fascinating a topic of discussion as it has turned out to be.

Discussion ? Without accepting constructive criticism ??

What constructive criticism? She set out a point of view. A point of view, not necessarily hers.

If you assumed it was her opinion, thats YOUR problem, not hers.

I've never had it happen to me. If a complete stranger came up to me and said I had a big nose, I would say, Thanks I know.

I certainly would not be concerned with what any Tom Dick or Harry thought about my nose, fascinating a topic of discussion as it has turned out to be.

So you wouldn't think it was strange ?
Why do you think someone would do that ?

So you wouldn't think it was strange ?
Why do you think someone would do that ?

Why would I waste my time on something so irrelevant?

What constructive criticism? She set out a point of view. A point of view, not necessarily hers.

If you assumed it was her opinion, thats YOUR problem, not hers.

:D Her point of view seems to be to disagree with me lol
I never even mentioned Varda.

:D Her point of view seems to be to disagree with me lol
I never even mentioned Varda.

Maybe she made some assumptions too. :D

Why would I waste my time on something so irrelevant?

So you aren't going to answer that then ?

Look, all I did was come in here and ask this question:
"I just don't get why people feel compelled to say something about it..
Is it to make themselves feel better, or because they want to look cool to their friends.. what ?"

That was how many pages ago ? Nobody ever answered..

Maybe she made some assumptions too. :D

What are those ?

So you aren't going to answer that then ?

Look, all I did was come in here and ask this question:
"I just don't get why people feel compelled to say something about it..
Is it to make themselves feel better, or because they want to look cool to their friends.. what ?"

That was how many pages ago ? Nobody ever answered..

I already explained why Varda said it. Shes a photographer, she notices stuff like symmetry, composition and balance.

It was natural for her to notice it. Should she have made her observations public? Why not? I certainly have no issues with it.

I already explained why Varda said it. Shes a photographer, she notices stuff like symmetry, composition and balance.

IT IS NOT ABOUT VARDA !! :mad:

Its called a discussion. Unlike you, we don't come here to share our feelings.

How can you have a valid discussion when you change your own view and opinions from thread to thread? Has nothing to do with feelings. She is not consistant with her stance on things.

IT IS NOT ABOUT VARDA !! :mad:

Ah, we have skipped to the OP now. Or have we?

I already covered that in my explanation of what the cultural context of that was. :confused:

How can you have a valid discussion when you change your own view and opinions from thread to thread? Has nothing to do with feelings. She is not consistant with her stance on things.

How do you know what her stance is?

She wants to discuss it from several POV rather than ONLY her own. Its called alternative hypotheses and something very common in those who work in science. She's she is an engineer, I presume she is accustomed to looking at things from several points of view. It tends to spill over into other areas of life.

Ah, we have skipped to the OP now. Or have we?

I already covered that in my explanation of what the cultural context of that was. :confused:

I give up... :(

I give up... :(

I think people attach their own perceptions to what others say.

Perhaps some things are merely observations and have no undercurrents attached?:shrug:

How do you know what her stance is?



From reading her posts???
In one thread she is against something. Then 15 mins later she will agree on something she was just making a case against earlier. It's fucked up. You are either for or against something. This wishy washy changing your mind on something everything 5 mins, just comes across as a scatterbrain.

BTW: Someone does something rude in this thread. Then we aren't supposed to talk about it, in a thread just about that :confused:

This is all on topic of being RUDE.

I think people attach their own perceptions to what others say.
No doubt.

Perhaps some things are merely observations and have no undercurrents attached?:shrug:
But what motivates them to communicate it ?

From reading her posts??? :confused

In one thread she is against something, then 15 mins later she will agree on something she was just making a case against. It's fucked up. You are either for or against something. This wishy washy changing your mind on something everything 5 mins is just comes across as a scatterbrain.

She makes observations and offers points of view. You attack her by ascribing personal motives to