Although "yeah well so's your spleen" and "f ck you" tend to be my favorite comebacks, they don't exactly serve their purpose, because no one gets the former and I can get suspended for the latter. I could really use a good comeback because lately I've been collecting all kinds of insults: whore, goth, bitch, dyke. Okay, maybe I have gothic tendencies, and maybe I can be a bitch sometimes. But I'm not a whore or a dyke; I'm just a f cked-up little DF kid, and I'd like to find a way to defend myself.

I know where "dyke" comes from; I recently got my hair cut off, so it's relatively short; but fafnir665 can vouch for me here: it's still a remotely "feminine" cut. I wear loose-fitting clothes (although in jeans there is no such thing, and cargo pants are getting tighter) because I don't really like dressing like a slut, and I don't care enough about how I look to wear makeup. I also feel strongly against prejudice toward any demographic and have no problem with gay people, and tend to get mad at people who make fun of them or discriminate against them (like that motherflower of a president the United States has; I pride myself on being an upstanding Australian citizen who was unfortunately born in Chicago), but I don't understand where people get "whore".

I don't care what people think about me much, but I'm incredibly messed up in that I'm really depressed, have picked up the habit of hurting myself, can't bring myself to trust people, and have recently been abadoned by someone who I actually had trusted, and the things people say to me- people that I haven't actually been mean to, I save that for people who deserve it- are starting to get to me and encourage me to embark on another bout of questioning my self work or doing things with sharp objects that aren't healthy at all.

Before my already crippled psyche is permanently damaged, can someone assist me here? I'd probably be a lot better off if I could defend myself.

:( i want to give you a big hug. you're one of the sweetest kids i (don't) know. why would anyone want to say such things to you? afraid of being picked on themselves, i imagine. rest assured that you are way more interesting then the kids who fit in.
the best insults are compliments, for many reasons. start with something simple like "you're so pretty" in response to a name. tone is important here. it confuses and annoys people at the same time, mission accomplished. ;)

"I know you are, but what am I?"... a classic

for more ideas, watch South Park.

Comebacks are overrated, in real life they don't work, the better they are the lamer you look IMO.
Something like swedishfish said is on the right track "You're so pretty", but also just like saying they hurt your feelings, lol, seriously it can be really funny and make them feel like a dick.
eg;
them- "Hey dyke!"
you- "awwww:("
them- ":confused:"
you- ":cool:"

There's no comeback you could say that would make them feel bad, like don't be thinking the cooler it is the better it will work at screwing them over. Like if someone comes up in your face with his finger pointing at you calling you names you could say "why does YOUR finger, smell like HIS ass?" pointing to one of his cronies.
It sounds like a good comeback, but it won't have the desired affect.

I say be openly sad, even though it seems like thats what they want, its not, they want you to get mad. Don't get mad, get sad, in fact pretend to be sadder than you are.
Pretend to cry when they call you a dyke, like straight away, as soon as you hear the 'k' sound just start bawling your eyes out.
And then let them see you 10 minutes later perfectly happy.
Better yet, when one calls you a name start laughing with everyone else and keep laughing as you casually drop your drawers and take a dump on the ground.
Ok, you don't have to do that last one, but I seriously think it would work so well.

Kids that get teased tend to turn out better than kids who didn't, I'm always wishing I got teased in school, i think I'd be famous by now.
Always remember its a tiny part of your life, a few years and your finished there and no one much tends to call adults "dykes". You'll look back and it won't be a big deal at all. I know its probably rough now but persevere through it and by the time you're 20 you'll be able to laugh telling the stories of that day you just took a crap right on the ground in front of..... oh right, you aren't going to do that, well whatever, you know what I mean.

"You're my hero"

Although "yeah well so's your spleen" and "f ck you" tend to be my favorite comebacks, they don't exactly serve their purpose, because no one gets the former and I can get suspended for the latter. I could really use a good comeback because lately I've been collecting all kinds of insults: whore, goth, bitch, dyke. Okay, maybe I have gothic tendencies, and maybe I can be a bitch sometimes. But I'm not a whore or a dyke; I'm just a f cked-up little DF kid, and I'd like to find a way to defend myself.The first thing you need to do is understand how and why these insults hurt you. I'm not being flip, I remember what it was like to be called a "hippie" just because I had long hair, even though I was a responsible citizen with a good job and thought a fun party was playing chess with my engineer friends. But it was strangers who called me that, and from the look of most of them I could tell that I was far higher on the food chain and they were just cockroaches to step over.

Who are these kids to you? Are they people you respect? Are they people you like? Are they people who have power over you? If you don't get on their good side will they prevent you from having any decent friends, or keep you out of organizations you want to join, stuff like that? Do you want them to be your friends? Do you need their help? Or are you just a bit of a loner and it doesn't feel good to be ostracized because you'd like to have the people around you at least treat you decently even if you don't exactly want their friendship?

You see, you have to understand what it is that you want or need from these people before you can decide how to respond to their insults.

We all have situations in which we need something from people we don't like. If you think it's bad now, wait until you have a job! Sometimes you just have to suck up in order to advance your own cause. Fool people into thinking you respect them so they'll give you what you want, whatever that might be.

If you don't give a drenn about them but are just getting tired of the insults, then you need to reach some kind of equilibrium. Just insulting them back will probably lead to escalation. No matter what you say, they'll say something back and it will keep going on and on like two dogs barking at each other, because frankly this is pretty much the same kind of situation: who can lift their leg higher, who's the alpha in the pack?

You can just walk by and ingnore them. They won't like that and they'll probably hurl more insults at your back. But if you can really pull it off they'll probably eventually just get tired of it because it won't be any fun for them. And you will look so cool for being able to do it! That's another reason they won't want to keep going on, because they won't want to make you look cool.

You can say something polite and non-committal, like "good morning to you too." But I don't know how that would work. Some people can pull that off, some can't. And it depends a lot on how bad these kids are. They might just treat that like another insult.

You might also think about why they're doing this. Is your style and attitude really so one-percenter that they regard you as a complete outsider? High school is a cesspool of conformity. I don't believe that has changed at all since I graduated in 1960. If you don't fit in, like not being a jock or not being dumb enough or rich enough, you're dog doodoo. But if you have the guts to deliberately not fit in, by wearing unusual outfits and couture, then you're just making yourself a target.

At this point you really have to find a mirror, look yourself honestly in the eye, and ask, "Why are you doing all this stuff when it seems to bring you so much grief at school?" Sometimes we do things to get attention, and then we get attention all right but it's not exactly the kind we wanted. But since we're getting some sort of attention, we lapse into a miserable kind of equilibrium where we don't quite know what else to do.

There are a lot of bad vibes about the Goth scene because of Columbine, so you might just be in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong outfit. It would be like wearing a burnoose in Manhattan the day after 9/11. Some things just don't work no matter how much they mean to you personally. (Hey, despite being old enough to be your grandfather I love Evanescence and the Sisters of Mercy and Type O Negative and Godsmack and Drain-sth so I'm just speaking impersonally here.)

One of the marks of maturity is being able to realize when you have to sacrifice something that's important to you in order to have something else that's more important. It's entirely up to you to decide which of these various things is most important, but you do have to decide.

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to discuss how you feel with us. I hope you don't get flamed but there are assholes everywhere, I'm sure you know that. I'm so sorry that you were hurt by someone you trusted. That's shit, and as they say, shit happens. My first wife and my best friend had an affair right under my nose because I never suspected anything, and when I found out they just went off together. I lost the two most important people in my life at the same time, in the worst possible way: betrayal. I'm not bullshitting when I say I understand how you feel.

All I can tell you is that you will get over it. Everyone has really shitty things happen and everyone gets over it. It's OK to be pissed off, it's OK to cry, it's OK to be a little less than cordial with your friends because that's what friends are for. If you don't have friends that's a different story, but I hope we can fill in for now.

What's not OK is to take out your feelings on people who didn't really have anything to do with making you depressed. Don't let them walk on you and treat you like dirt, but don't waste a lot of energy dreaming up ways to get one up on people who just make nasty remarks in the hallway because by their standards you dress funny. They're the cockroaches, just step over them and forget about them. They're not your problem. Your problem is -- well you already described it. Fortunately you understand yourself pretty well. And what is also not OK is to hurt yourself with sharp objects or drugs or whatever comes to mind. That would be punishing yourself, and that's wrong because none of this is your fault. (OK, I said maybe you should reconsider your wardrobe, but as we all know, "wardrobe malfunctions" are not a serious offense and they don't merit any kind of punishment. :) )

This is just shit that happened to you because you're alive in the world and sometimes things work out well and sometimes they don't. You're not to blame for the bad times. And neither are the kids in the hall.

I don't know what to tell you next without lapsing into psychotherapy, and I never got my license for that. You're doing a good job of understanding yourself, you're doing a good job of understanding the situation you're in, and you're doing a good job of asking for help. That shows me that you're pretty mature for your age, that you've got your act pretty well together, and that you know what to do when there's a problem.

Trust in the instinct that brought you here, and ignore the other ideas that flit through your mind. You know that to do some of that shit would be pretty bad, and you don't really intend to do it.

Keep talking. We love you.

F.R.

F*** You is so original. :rolleyes:

Personally, I find somebody trying to insult while not being able to type more funny than insulting. The smiley just makes it even lamer, and hence funnier.

what are you implying here...

That you're my hero.

okay what ever you say...... :bugeye: (still doesn't get what you are saying)

or are you implying that i can't type.

Geez. Too damn easy.

what is too easy. I am confused all the time. Please tell me

Now I just feel guilty. Damn you.

Well thank you. HAHA my work is done, but i will be back.

The "your pretty" or "I really like you" really works best with your arch - nemesis. :D

in response to the first post, Goth isnt really much of an insult, saying that goth is an insult probably insulted alot of Goths.

Also, the your pretty thing works alot better if you say you are sooo sexy (if they are the same sex as you)
they will look, confused, then get it, then look disgusted (and possibly a bit interested)
whereas you can be inwardly laughing at them

Oh, goth is most definately an insult, make no mistake.

I suppose its relative, if you've got down syndrome and eat feces and someone calls you a goth I guess its not really an insult, but if you're a decent human being then being called a goth is definately an insult.

Hmm maybe in your subconscious mind you associate yourself with being a dyke or a bitch and the realization of truth promotes a conflict between inner subconscious self and the libido. The root of this is always sexual frustration and the different structural augmentations of the mind that come out of it. In your particular case there is a pain of dysfunction or emptyness of healthy connections with other human beings. Also there might be some masochistic tendencies which when further investigated could also lead to this conclusion of emptyness in human sexual contact interaction and or development of social roots.

"Kill em' with kindness!"

swede... got it right. the only way to truly annoy someone is to say the unexpected. i like saying, "doctor says it wouldn't bleed so much if i just kept my finger outta there" to people who go on blabbing about stuff i couldn't care less about, usually BS, - that annoys the hell out of them.. but first you need to realize that it's what you think that matters most, not what other people think.

Niudo; from what you wrote you sound like a sweetheart! (thats a sincere statement, not a 'kill-em with kindness' statement)

Niudo, believe it or not guys find girls like you much more attractive than others(though many wont admit it), they are probably just jealous you have the courage to be different unlike them, just ignore them they are meaningless people anyways and not worth listening to, no matter what they say. As for comebacks i cant help, and they usually make things worse, just be happy, you have a personality and they dont, if you stay happy and show it they will realise they are wasting their time. :)

Niudo,

First of all, it sounds like you might want to clean yourself up a bit. You would probably feel better and become less of a target to A-holes. Maybe boys would begin to hit on you more. This would surely boost your deflated ego. If you think you are making a statement by looking like shit, you are, a negative one. Many people have a hard time respecting people who seem to not respect themselves.
Get involved in social activities. People your age tend to be a lot of fun.

Swede had it right. Something like, “ I can always count on you to cheer me up when I’m feeling down, thanks”, might confuse these A-holes. Good luck you anti-American little monkey, you!

The most affective insult is to simply ignore that person.

Making a statement by looking bad? No. That isn't my intent. If people really care about how I look, then they can look the other way; and besides, I'm NOT pretty and I never will be, so I don't understand the point in slathering my face with pain in attempt to be.

I like the "you're my hero" thing. It made me laugh...

Some of you, I agree with. Some of you, I don't. But mainly, I'd like to thank you for helping me... and about the Goth thing. I only take it as an insult when it's meant as an insult. If it's an observation, well, fine, it's damn near true. But if you insult me, I'm going to repsond to it as an insult, no matter what it is you said. 'I love you' is something I get a lot, and it's used as an insult well over half the time. My standard response to that is 'I'm sorry' but that doesn't work with other things.

I like your being-nice thoughts, though. That's really something that's never occured to me... thanks so much. It's a nice feeling, that someone out there cares. 'Speically when the people who are supposed to don't anymore.

If the being nice doesn't work you can always insult them with necrophilia, incest, beastility, and masterbation accusations. Probably would just escalate the situation though. Along with the being nice thing just laugh like they told a joke and ignore them.
Personaly, when someone insults me I laugh like I'm insane, loud enough to draw some attention, then stare at them and say "Thats not fukkin' funny, are you trying to proove something?"
If nothing else works take out your pent up rage on their car, put a sardine up the exhaust after a few days it'll smell real GOOD. Maybe smear some boogers on the doorhandle some dog poo on the hood.
If that doesn't work, and of course you don't get caught, its time to go for their pocket book. Pour brake fluid on their paint, remove their oil plug and take their oil, (if you leave a big pool of oil under their car they might notice and not start it) arc their battery terminals by laying a piece of conductive metal across them, (Probably should wear rubber gloves just to be on the safe side). Make sure you dispose of the oil properly wouldn't want it to get washed down the drain were it might get into the water supply. On second thought you probably shouldn't do any of these things, the whole jail things sucks.

Fall down on your knees, shake your fists at the air, and then yell "NOooooooooooo" until everyone disperses. The important thing is to make it seem like it isn't bothering you.

Another good trick is to laugh, and keep laughing as you take a dump on the ground. I think Dr. Lou already covered that though.

BTW, nice post Fraggle Rocker.

Funny isn't it, people here help you out more than the people around you where you live. I'd say that the people around you should be left alone as much as possible for they seem to only care about themselves and not you. I would try to find another place in which to meet people other than where you are at now. Try not to have "come backs" because you'll just be playing their games and get caught up in that BS.

"Say sorry after you have caused damage"
- Certified Psycho (1988-2050) :D

I apologize waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much, but that's the one thing I won't do to my attackers. They can poke me with a big stick, fine. I won't bite them, no matter how much I want to. They can make me look at scissors in a new light, fine. They can drive me to cut myself so just I can feel human again, just so I can see color again.
But they can't make me apologize. The last thing I'm going to do is apologize.

I only apologize to my parents because I've ruined their lives. Without me, they could HAVE all those things they talk wistfully about. More importantly, they wouldn't have to deal with me, the one mistake their perfect selves ever made.

Your parents aren't perfect by no means, have they ever said that? You can do the things that you like to do which is why you are here not for them but for yourself. There's plenty of time to set things right but you should be trying to get rid of those people who put you down or demean you. By get rid of I mean to leave them alone and do your own damn thing!

pfftt. no they wouldn't. if they were going to have those things, they'd have them now. it's not your place to feel guilty that they aren't successful enough to have them. having a child is not a mistake. maybe an accident but never a mistake. stop apologizing to them for being born.
p.s. goth girls are pretty cute
p.s.s. you'll do great things

Okay, Fraggle Rocker, I took a deep breath and I think I've finally decided on what I want to say in response to your post.

WHY THEIR LIES HURT ME: I've been brought up knowing that everything is always my fault. Something goes wrong, something isn't good enough, it's my fault. My parents are better than me than I deserve by any measure, and they're wonderful people who almost love me beyond their obligation- but I can TASTE the disappointment they have in me. It's really quite consuming, the knowing you'll never be good enough. My mother doesn't even try to hide her disgust with the f ck-up I turned out to be; she's honest. My father, though, he likes to pretend that I can't help being ugly and bad at everything. He likes to pity me, like I'm some puppy that was born without a leg. Ohhh, look at the poor little girl, these are going to be the worst years of her life and when they're finally over, life is just going to suck even more.

WHO THEY ARE, TO ME: They're everyone, the society that surrounds me. I don't want anything from them, I just want them to look through me. I want to be invisible; it's what I'm used to. I'm shunned by my own; the rest of those who accept that they are geeks and losers and use words that are too big, the people who know that no one else will get their jokes because American teenagers are cruel and dim-witted, the people who were born ugly and aren't afraid to BE ugly; they don't draw attention to themselves by speaking to me, the freak-whore in black with the glasses. I have a few friends who aren't friends, the people- good people, the kind of people who deserve to run society but because of things like acne or skin color never will- who don't have anything to be afraid of anymore, they like me and my sarcasm. They like talking to me in my isolation and letting me administer bitter psychology to why people treat them so bad. But there aren't many of them, and any one of them would just as soon sell my soul as ignore me if it meant that their social situation could change, and I'd be left there in the dirt wondering what I did wrong and if sucking up to the prom queen and how many people hated me really are things I should be concerned with.

IGNORING PEOPLE AND WHY IT NEVER HURTS: When you bite your tongue to keep from saying shit you knwo you'll regret until your mouth is filled with blood, and the world starts to go fuzzy and you just want to rip their pen from their hands and gouge out your veins with it, it's hard... hard to not say anything, hard to swallow and keep walking, hard to remember who you are, where you're headed, and what the point in going there is anyway.

WHY THEY DO THIS: Am I a complete outsider? Well, I'm alive right now because of a band called AFI, and I've dedicated myself to them... they're like the God I never quite understood. My body is for them, the blood in my veins and the air in my lungs, and because of that I take care of it. I've pledged Straight-Edge, and I like wearing their name whenever I can, so I do. Until I reach the birthday when my tattoo can take its place on my shoulder, when I can get just a few more holes in my ears, t-shirts and permanent marker suffice. But I don't go overboard... just some t-shirts, some sweatshirts, a pair of shoes, and letters on my knuckles and binders. The reason, I think, that they do this to me is because I was born to be a reject. I'm not good enough to walk among them, yet I do. I'm too ugly to be in their prescence, yet there I am. I get As and use 'big words', which makes me a smart-ass who doesn't respect their authority. I'm honest, blunt, generally tactless... and cynical and sarcastic. They don't like me because I understand how their society works, and I understand what's wrong with it, and I'm not afraid to point it out to them.
I don't do it on purpose. I've tried changing who I am, but all I got was scars and more emotional wreckage. My defenses are up enough without hurting myself mentally like that again.

WHAT's NOT OKAY: You say it's not okay to hurt myself. Well, I disgust myself but I'm not afraid to admit it because only one of you out there knows who I am, but you betrayed me and tried to break me, so I should think this truth should appeal to you, should be what you wanted all along... I cut myself. Whenever I need that release, that reality, that pain. Is it really not okay? Don't all of our arms bear scars? The first time, I thought it was suicide. But then I was blown away by how right it felt. So it turned out that I'm saving myself. With a release, with the music that helps me, it won't get big enough to bring me down again. I hurt myself because that's the only way I have of dealing... pain and denial and sarcasm. By cutting myself, I'm saving myself. I have to do it this way because no one else showed any interest in saving me.
I'd like to thank you for all the nice things you've said to me, because you've geniunely tried to help, but what you don't understand is that it IS my fault. All of it. Everything.

Where I come from, it's always my fault, even when no one wants to say it, we all know it. It's my fault. It always has been, it always will be. But it doesn't hurt so much anymore, because I've found something that hurts more. Something to distract, to withdraw. Malleus maleficorum. Metal cutting skin. Am I right? There's got to be someone out there who know what I'm talking about. Someone out there who's reached the point where there's only one way to hang on.
Maybe you're right instead, Fraggle Rocker. Maybe I'm wrong. If that's the case, maybe I'll be gone in a year. Maybe sooner. Or maybe I'll grow into the burnout I already am, the miserable failure of a child who can't do anything right and has no talents. You know more than I do, you've been through and seen more than I have, probably more than I ever will have. You've had pain I can't even imagine, and you've loved and been loved back assumedly handfuls of times.
I don't know what that feels like. And if you're right, maybe I never will.

p.s. goth girls are pretty cute
p.s.s. you'll do great things

p.s. excluding me
p.s.s. except for that I'm not great at anything, not even decent at anything, so how can I do anything great?

I haven't met a single person who is 'not even decent at anything'. I have very little doubt that you are being too hard on yourself.

At the very least, you seem quite able to get your thoughts across in a concise manner, which is better than most of those on this fourm. Just because you may not recognize your strength yet, doesn't mean you don't have it.

G'day,
It's getting to that time of year when winter is in the air!!
I always look forward to winter, funny really cause I always look forward to summer by the end of it, it's the same every year!
It's this time thingy,
When your with someone you can't wait to get away, then when you're away you miss them,
When you're in year10 you can't wait to be in year12,
When you're 37 you wish you were 15 and when you're 15 you constantly wish you were older,
When you're older you'll even look back at schooldays with nostelga!
If you can regognise that it's all down to time and that things DO change in time then you can keep above whatever's happening in the present.
All things do pass (thanks George)

What you're going through now is SOOO natural,
It's all the process which forces you out of the nest and into the world as an independent person, that's why you row with your folks etc... in 5 years you'll be appologising!

Soon enough
GONE are the little shitheads at school,
GONE are the parents except on freindly little visits,
GONE is you being bothered if anyone insults you, not that you get that many in the adult world,
GONE is a lot of the confusion which comes with changing from a child into an adult.
Beauty is only skin deep, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just a superficial little gobshite, I'm not saying that you've got a head of bulldog chewing wasps so please don't get me wrong!
Sticks and stones.
It's all just a passing phase, the trick is, and the ones who deserve respect are, those who come out of their teenage years without a nasty habit or too many scars on their arms.
It's hell, this transformation, especially in todays world, but time does pass and before you know it, you're in your own flat with a husband, earning your own wage and wishing all you had to deal with in life was a few insults at school (only joking that last bit)
Treat these bollocks at school with the contempt they deserve, in the long run these people are nothing to you, you wont even remember their names, and as Niche says "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger!"

In summary,
This is just a moment in time for you, a moment that wont last long, it will end, you are estabishing your individualism and I reckon your going to turn into the type of woman I'd buy lobster washed down with a bottle of Rommani Conti 37, for, if they don't have the Conti we could settle for a Chateux Echeim 82/83? a Rothschild 57? or Dom Perignon 83 is always good to wash a feed down with.
So armed with the knowledge that all that seems shit in your life is just a temporary thing you can rise above it all, become aloof and smile down on those mere mortals who are stuck in the moment, you're not!
Until we talk again I do bid you adeiu,
Mark from Melbourne.
Persol...Touche!

i want to cry reading this because i can't understand how you don't realize that you're a million times better than they are. i think you do know. it comes across that you know but aren't aware of it. those people are worthless. that much you are aware of.
as for not being good at anything...really how many people are experts in anything at your age? what, a few prodigies but that's hardly the norm. i was average at everything in high school. not until college did i figure out that i can polymerize like a mofo. i'm certainly still trying to find my way. people twice my age have yet to figure out what they're good at.

(i'm not trying to be nice, i don't even know you and i'm not even always nice to the people i do know).

Too True Swedishfish, I'm still trying to suss out what I want to do with my life and I'm 37!
The Beatles (Lennon) got it right with
"I'd give you everything I had for just a little piece of mind"
It doesn't matter what you're doing then, as long as you're content.
Imagine spooning shite into your own eye with a smile!
The way I always look at it is:
There's a lesson in everything, you just have to look for it and learn it.
And... It could always be worse,
and in those deep dark times I think ..ah well there's another chapter for the book! next!
Bring it on...
BTW I can relate to the relating to music thing, although unlike some I havn't heard of any of what you're listening to, I just know sometimes you can adopt the lyrics to make sense of whatever happens to be happening, music is a primal instinct, a way to get in touch with our emotions, that's why I'd advise avoiding the Navana's etc... in times of glumness as it can just feed your depression.
Try Abbey road or the White Album or maybe some U2.
AVOID anything by the Smiths/ Morrissey!!!!

Tried and true universal come back: Your momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials.
And when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
Then, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Cool skill, you're my hero.

My response is usually to look them directly in the eye -for two or three seconds,- and then continue with whatever I'm doing. It works. I don't know why. You don't need to give them any facial features or comebacks. The more quiet and featureless your face, the better, but it has to look concentrated and sincere.

Of course I don't get insulted very much these days. People sometimes try, but its pathetic and lame and I've lost interest in playing along.

I like coming up with original things. I try not to say the same insult twice and normally try to turn an insult into complement or make them sound stupid.

If they use common insults it gets pretty easy. As stated "F*** You" is a pretty popular one. In your case you could say you wish but I dont think you would know how.

I have had some one insult me when they were smoking a cigerette. I asked them if they thought all that up on their own or if the lung cancer helped. It worked out better then I thought because their parents where just yelling at them about the cigerettes.

Its also nice to know who your dealing with. Saying something that will set them off is normally not the best thing.

The biggest reason people bully you is because it seems to give them power or control. Their just jerks and letting it get to you is a waste.

Honestly im not sure how i made it out of junior high or high school. I remember in junior high they picked up the entire bike rack to throw my bike into the dumpster. I remember thanking them for throwing away my trashy bike and just left it there but it still hurt to know they hated me enough to toss an entire bike rack in the trash.

I was basically a loner for my whole high school years and it was actually better then being popular. I made my stupid jokes and tried to be popular and then realized the people I was talking to didn't know anything. I had one of my friends call me recently and he was talking about how everyone was trying to be his friend and how he doesn't like large groups of people. I only have 4 real friends and i like it that way i get along with a lot more people but having a lot of friends is not really that cool. People tend to have too much drama in their lifes and i dont stay in one place long enough to have many true friends.

You thanked them?

I would've kicked their asses and locked them into the dumpsters with my bike. Urinated into it and *then* thank them for giving me a good excuse.

Yeah...I may have been teased in juniour high, but the aggressors were always uncomfortable around me in the absense of their friends..

lol you dont know my bike i got sick and tired of flat tires and bent forks. huffy sucks.

I did have a better bike in high school and I would have kicked some ass over that bike but nothing ever happened to it until my bike was stolen when my brother was using it.

"Can you please teach me to be more like you?"

My response is usually to look them directly in the eye -for two or three seconds,- and then continue with whatever I'm doing. It works. I don't know why. You don't need to give them any facial features or comebacks. The more quiet and featureless your face, the better, but it has to look concentrated and sincere.

That's a good and effective one.

If they are bullies, it shows them you are not afraid of them without actually starting a fight forcing them to have to stand up for themselves out of fear.
If they are silly bimbo Britney Barbie bitches it shows them that you could really care less about their stupid superficial judgements of them (or it just really confuses them).
Pretty much anyone else will eother get confused or disappointed in teh lack of sport and just move on.

"and about the Goth thing. I only take it as an insult when it's meant as an insult"
cant really argue with that

now, your problem isnt your abilities, whcih im sure you have lots of, it is most likely the country you live in. Many Americans are very arogant, selfish and rude etc
totally ignoring them isnt what id advise, that doesnt really work.

Meet their gaze whilst walking past one of them, without their friends around, theyre nothing. If you do this to all of them they will start feeling less confident even when theres lots of them
(just dont stare, that'll just give them another excuse to laugh)

is there anyone in the group that actually does have a soul, but doesnt want to help you cos of pper pressure or whatever, try to make friends with any people like that

How does that quote go...

It is only an insult if you take it as an insult...
Something like that. It's late and I can't remember.
Basically it means that if you are not ashamed of the trait that they see as a flaw it isn't really an insult.
For example, if you are homosexual and someone yells at you, "You homosexual!" is that an insult?
Not unless you are ashamed of being homosexual.

I sometimes end up with people hating me when I am brutally honest and straight-forward with my opinion.
That is a risk I am willing to face.

WHY THEIR LIES HURT ME: I've been brought up knowing that everything is always my fault.
Bullshit.
I know what you are saying, and I do honestly know how you feel.
My father was (and still is) a worthless piece of shit that not only never approved of me, he pretty much ignored me my whole life.
I spent many years vying for his attention and approval and I know how hard that can be.
That doesn't change the fact that it is a bullshit excuse and you DO have a chice of whether or not you will believe them.
I can tell by the few things I have read by you on this forum that you do have some self-esteem and you DO know (somewhere in there) that you have worth and value.
It is just hidden under all of this self-indulgent self-pity bullshit.
Self-pity is the east way out.
Blame all your problems on your parents, your peers, society and the whole world and you don;t have to take any responsibilty or accountability for your actions.
Keep believeing that, and it will be true.
Yes, your environment DOES have a profound effect on the person you are.
Exactly what that effect will be is under your control.
You can believe what they tell you, or you can hear what they say, and understand that it is THEIR voice. Not yours.

WHO THEY ARE, TO ME: They're everyone, the society that surrounds me.
The world (especially America) is full of lazy, stupid, disrespectful assholes.
That is something you will never get around, and (with some minor exceptions) something you will never change.
It is also something that you will have to deal with in whatever way is most effective for you to deal with.
Hate them, teach them, berate them, ignore them whatever works (really works) for you.
The important thing is not those assholes.
the important thing is the ones that stand out from those assholes.
Yes, the exceptional ones are rare, but see, that's exactly what MAKES them the exceptional ones.
The exceptional ones are the ones that deserve your time, effort and attention.
not the rest of the cookie-cutter American teen moron assholes.
Fuck them.
Do yourself a favor and focus your time and effort on the few exceptional ones you meet (if there aren't any yet, there will be, I guarantee it) and not only are you more than likely to meet even more of them (they tend to stick together) but even if you only meet one or two it is still worth it.
It is so much more rewarding to have a genuine friendship with one exceptional shining star than to wade and suffer through a multitude of acquaintences that do not deserve your consideration.

I don't want anything from them, I just want them to look through me. I want to be invisible; it's what I'm used to.
I don't believe that.
I think that is what you tell yourself to make the rejection easier to swallow.
If it were true then you would be a sheep just like the rest of them.
Listen to what is popular, shop at the right stores, not make any waves and do your best to simply blend in.
What those pop-whores don't realize is that by following along with everyone else they simply blend in and disappear in the crowd with the rest of the unimaginative losers that are afraid to make waves by standing out and saying, "Fuck you" to status quo, "Fuck you" to pop-culture, "Fuck you" to societal norms.
Just as bad as them are the ones who say those things simply TO BE a rebel and TO BE different.
The only people who deserve respect in my opinion, and I think yours too, is someone who holds true to their ideals regardless of popular notion.
people with integrity.
You don't want to be the object of scorn, but if you really wanted to be invisible, you could be.

IGNORING PEOPLE AND WHY IT NEVER HURTS: When you bite your tongue to keep from saying shit you knwo you'll regret until your mouth is filled with blood...
If you are doing that then you AREN'T ignoring them.
You are pretending to.
There is a BIG difference.
Why pretend to ignore them?
Why not simply be honest and let the know the truth.
The truth that you DO know but are afraid to admit out loud.
The you know that you are a person that deserves respect but respect from them really means nothing to you because why would it matter what people that can't even be true to their own ideals and choose to abandon integrity and dignity in an effort to be accepted by people they probably don't even like anyway don't approve of you?
If they don't approve of you, you shoudl take it as a compliment.
It means that you are not a part of the group of people that you don't have respect for and would not want to be a part of.
Be proud of being different from them.
It means you are not an asshole like they are.

I'm not good enough to walk among them, yet I do. I'm too ugly to be in their prescence, yet there I am. I get As and use 'big words', which makes me a smart-ass who doesn't respect their authority. I'm honest, blunt, generally tactless... and cynical and sarcastic. They don't like me because I understand how their society works, and I understand what's wrong with it, and I'm not afraid to point it out to them.
And that's the best person to be.
You are being honest and true to yourself rather than lying about who you are to fit in with a bunch of people that you don't like.
WHY do you see that as a BAD thing?

WHAT's NOT OKAY: You say it's not okay to hurt myself.
You really need to seek professional help about this.
You can justify and excuse it any way you like, but the fact remains, it is not healthy, it is not safe, it is not a simple normal release and many people that indulge in self mutilation end up attempting suicide.
It usually stems from either:
a lack of stimulation that makes them feel numb and feeling anything is better than feeling nothing.
a self-indulgent cry for help for a more deeply-seated emotional issue that needs attention
an honest self-hatred that will eventually lead to suicide
or state of confusion and misdirection of rage internally
There are other reasons also, but it is usually one of the above.
Seek help, or face the reality that it may escalate to the point that it has more control over you than you have over it and you end up another story about "That sad pathetic girl who killed herself because she couldn't handle teh pressures of being a teen-ager" or whetever other bullshit one-liner whisper they will distill the entirety of your life to.
Fuck that and fuck them.
You are stronger than they are.
You have to be, or they will eventually snuff out all the exceptional shining stars.
You are better than they are. Prove it.

Where I come from, it's always my fault, even when no one wants to say it, we all know it. It's my fault. It always has been, it always will be.
More of that same pathetic self-indulgent self-pity bullshit that you started with.
If you really believed that crap then you wouldn't complain about it.
You wouldn't be talking about it.
You wouldn't be looking for affirmation.
You would simply disappear from life, withdraw completely and kill yourself.
You know what?
Life is hard for people like you,and it will always be.
Not because you are an outsider and people don't accept you.
because you can clearly see the injustices and all the bullshit in the world around you and you are NOT willing to accpet it and close your eyes to what the truth is.
You know what else?
You are going to have to fucking get over it!
Because you are one fo the few who are not willing to play along with the bullshit, the only way for you to rest with a clear conscience is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Raise awareness.
Yell and scream at people.
Write books showing people what hypocritical pricks they really are.

Stop sitting on your lazy ass, wallowing in self-pity and whining about how these people, that you DON'T want to be a part of DON'T accept you. You are smart enough to know that there is no end and no resloution to that self-inflicted dilema.
The only way you will ever be happy is to at least make an effort to make a difference in all the bullshit and lies around you, and the best way to do that is to learn to accept that there are few of you around and you all have to deal with these assholes and the best chance you have is to seek each other out and work together.

That's about all I had to say.
Thanks for listening.

Is this a transcript from an Oprah show?

Group hug everyone, group hug!

I had problems like that in H.S. one day I turned and looked at them and said..."you know this is getting really old..you think you can think of something new for once." I smiled at them and walked away. They still kept at it for a while but whenever I saw them I said " Hi Guys" before they got out one word and eventually it stopped. I had more important things to worry about than these pieces of turds..but I also had my own group of friends that I hung around with too so it's a little different.

Clearly a shooting spree is the only possible solution here.

Your momma is so damn fat that when she puts on a red t-shirt, all the kids in the neighborhood yell, "hey KOOL-AID."
And when her beeper goes off, everybody think's she's backing up.

if its guys, ALWAYS aim for the small dick insult in front of their pals, its a cheap shot, but never fails unless you are insulting a tripod.

foucaulteco "What you're going through now is SOOO natural,
It's all the process which forces you out of the nest and into the world as an independent person, that's why you row with your folks etc... in 5 years you'll be appologising!
"This is just a moment in time for you, a moment that wont last long, it will end, you are estabishing your individualism and I reckon your going to turn into the type of woman I'd buy lobster washed down with a bottle of Rommani Conti 37, for, if they don't have the Conti we could settle for a Chateux Echeim 82/83? a Rothschild 57? or Dom Perignon 83 is always good to wash a feed down with."



Yeah, natural, so I'm not anywhere as f cked-up as most people would think. What I do is NORMAL, right? Yeah. And... I don't fight with them. I apologize, I don't fight. Because I'm not what they want me to be, because oh my god I have an 88.92 in science and that's just not acceptable we expect so much more from you... etc. etc. etc.... don't you want to go anywhere with your life? (even when they know, THEY KNOW, that they can't afford anything other than community college so grades--don't--matter.

Oh, and about the lobster and the wine... I've got a problem with lobster, I really do, it's just... SO INHUMANE I COULD SCREAM... and besides, I'm SXE... I appreciate the compliment, though. I really do. I'm just bad at things like appreciation, hence the being-an-ingrate thing I do so well.

I'm SXE
:cool: i like you more with every post

What is SXE?

straightedge

Ohhhhhh. She mentioned that before.
I see.
My nephew is one. He wears a black X on his hand.

What do the letters SXE stand for?

straight (black marker X) edge

Ummmm....
OK.

I understand that a big black X means "NO".
That makes sense.

But why is that X in the middle of the Straight Edge acronym?

I like you too, SwedishFish... and thanks everyone, I know I'm a coward and only I can solve my problems and all that shit, but thanks for firmly reinstating it, but I have to disagree with me needing help... this is helping. I'm helping myself.

And besides, there's nothing I can do that won't break my mother's heart, and bank.

Niudo

Just do what I do. Work your ass off to make everyone like you so when it comes down to it they can't possibly hate you without feeling guilty. Just kiss their asses so hard that they love you and give em a questionaire every week rating your likebility level. Put those results in the computer, analyze them and see how you can improve your social standings. Kiss their asses harder untill they adore you....it'll take a few hours out of the day but after sleeping only 2hrs a day I have so much respect in my community that I shine.

That reminds....Sciforums...do you still love me?..I'll pay you if you don't...Love me please.

I don't know why there's an X in the middle of the acronym, but the straight-edge movement is something I believe in.
They also have really kick-ass t-shirts.

And about helping myself out, here, let me spout a guidance-conselour approved line in hopes you'll forget about it in case you already haven't: I drew a self-portrait, and it really put my life into perspective for me, I feel a lot better about myself and know where I want to go with my life.

Actually, I did draw a self-portrait, and it did put my into perspective. But I'm pretty confident that I already had perspective, and it was actually a really ugly picture. For some reason I've really gotten off on drawing nasty pictures lately, like this one with this guy lying on a table stabbing himself which would be really cool if I could draw good, but... I can't... so yeah.

I don't think your method is working, sarge. ;)

Hey, does meing a member of "The Straight Edge Movement" require sexual abstinence, too?

Or is it just no smoking, drinking or drugs?

Hey, does meing a member of "The Straight Edge Movement" require sexual abstinence, too?

Or is it just no smoking, drinking or drugs?

It's intrepreted a lot of different ways, but it's essentially "don't drink, don't smoke, don't fuck. also no drugs." The way I follow it, anyway. Some levels also involve veganism, but that's not associated with it on a large scale. Which is convienent, since despite my wishes I'm not allowed to become a vegan.

"I'm not allowed to become a vegan"
you don't allow it? cause nobody else can force you. (i hear this a lot from kids still under their parent's jurisdiction but it's an excuse. there's no possible way they can force you)

"But why is that X in the middle of the Straight Edge acronym?"
because it looks cool when scrawled across backpacks and bodies? i don't know.

sXe comes in a lot of forms. it's techincally correct if you abstain from drugs and alcohol. but some people who are nailed to the X include meat and ::gulp:: sex. i have a friend who is sXe and vegan but is one of the biggest perverts i know. i'm not sXe but i commend people who are, especially kids.

Eventually she had to change so she put on her Malcolm X t-shirt. And what do you know, a helicopter tried to land on her.
Even Burger King has to change their sign every time she gets hungry and EATS IT!

Yeah... you're right about the vegan thing, but mothers have a way of forcing food into unwilling children...

About the Straight Edge thing:
Hey, whatever floats your boat.
My boat happens to float just a little bit better when the captain smokes a little weed from time to time.
I would never push that on anyone else, and I am glad that you are not one of those moralists that try and push their ideals on others.
I like the little that I have seen of the movement for that very reason.
They seem to be saying that you are not wrong or bad if you are not a member, but I am proud to be a member.
It is a group of people that are saying out loud that you don't have to give into peer pressure to be cool.
I like that.

hahaha no. there are plenty of sXe-ers who are violent in their beliefs.

hahaha no. there are plenty of sXe-ers who are violent in their beliefs.

Yeah, they are, but my theory is whatever works. Fuck, I cut myself. I'm not gonna tell other people what they should or shouldn't do unless they tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I wear Xs, and I'm proud, and it's something I believe in. If you don't, that's okay. Whatever works.
I really look down upon the violent people, though. It's just as bad as falling... then you hurt someone else instead of just yourself; you might as well forget your beliefs and through your ethics to the wind, you know?

G'day,
How are you today?
I've never heard of this SXE stuff before but whoever put it out there would have done so as a buffer to the "peer pressure phenomonum" and I say "good on ya!

SO it would be a COMPLETE waist of time feeding you lobster, I do know what you mean about the throwing them into the pot live business, I worked in a taverna on the Greek island of Hydra a while ago, and in those days it was a common site to see live lobsters, in a basket with some damp muslim cloth over them, outside the front of tavernas everywhere, since about 1990 onwards you never see that, when you order lobster it's of the frozen variety bought through big conclomerates in Athens.
Anyway, as I was saying, in those days you'd launch said crustation live into a pot of boiling water, and they scream.
When I brooched the ethics behind such a violation with the mastora he berated me as a softarse firstly and concluded that it was the shells that made the noise, contracting.
Ummmm... plausable deniability???

It seems it would also be a COMPLETE waist of a perfectly good bottle of vino as well!!!
and there'd be no point trying to get you pissed anyhow, if you know what I mean!!

I reckon you should do what I did.
I had a hard time at school, all the other kids where from well off familys, nice clean uniforms, parents that gave a shit etc...
You know what kids are like, they can be SOOO cruel, the playground is so like a chicken coup it makes me really wonder how anyone can deny the existence of evolution!!! Creation theory my butt!
Anyhow I left at 15 (I'm not advocating this BTW cause it's hard work looking after yourself at that age) and I travelled.
Suddenly I'd done more than those egits back at school and I felt like I deserved their respect, a year went by of me and my rucksack and by the end of it I didn't even WANT their respect because they had become irrelevent, I was my own man, independent, learning through experience, and confident in my own right, those Tom Brown school days were just a memory, history, part of the book, just a small chapter in an epic biography of sorts (then I woke up and had to do my homework!!!!!)
Really, I've met many people from all over the world on my travels and all seem to have benifited enormously from "getting out there"
Especially if you live in such a closed minded, nationilistic society that wages war under the banner of patriotism and fear and xenophobia (xeno greek for foreigners).
I really wish they would teach more geography in the States, more on the rich culture of the world instead of this "I'm the greatest F88K the rest" type attitude, lets export our way, it's the best and only way, not giving thought to the rights of others to self determination etc...
I diverse...
Set your head to when you've finished your exams, take a year off and travel.
In the meantime, look forward to it and prepare, get some books from the library and see where you'd like to go, check out the national geographic channel etc...
It's completely up to you, I just reckon from what I can deduce from your posts, that you're the type of person who could benifit from it a lot, and have the time of your life whilst you're at it!!! Beleive me, whoa, those long hot meditteranian nights!!! I'll shut up now.
Mark from Melbourne.

There is nothing--
I want more--
than to get out.

There is nothing--
I want more--
than to get out.

There really is so much more, you just have to change your enviroment to see it sometimes.
We can become blinded by our situations, take yourself away from it and the fog can lift and give a new perspective on everything.
To live should be to learn, otherwise we become like water in a stagnent sess pool and that gives rise to all sorts of stagnent sewage type ideas.
We evolve by enviromental change, it's a fundamental rule that works on a micro as well as a macro level, beleive me.
Please don't automatically poo poo(?) the idea of travelling , it worked for me, and I am a hopeless case!!!!

Is this a transcript from an Oprah show?

Oprah is a pussy.
I was going more for a cross between Dr Phil and Reverend Maynard.

I guess I came off as more of a pussy than that. :D

Oprah is a pussy.
I was going more for a cross between Dr Phil and Reverend Maynard.

I guess I came off as more of a pussy than that. :D

But you were a pussy who meant well, so it's okay.

i was totally going to say that it was the dr phil approach!

how old are you mark? i want to take off and travel in the next couple of years. i'm sure you have stories. will you start another thread about your travel stories? i love this kind of thing.

But you were a pussy who meant well, so it's okay.
Ummm...

Thanks? :confused:

On the Internet (like when people accuse me of cheating on Counter-Strike or I am in IRC doing something) or in real I just say "ok" and end it right there. To me, just saying "ok" is both like saying I am going to pretend to agree with everything you say and like saying "whatever."

Especially if you throw in an impudent little eyebrow twitch. It works especially well.

Yep :cool: :D

i still think saying 'f**k' shows very clearly your state of mind and conveys what qould like to imply.saying 'ok' would imply that u have actually taken in his ideas or 'whatever'.

Yeah, I've always been kind of partial to the word myself. It helps me... express myself. It seems to me that in order to convey any strong emotion, it is absolutely necessary to utilize the power of Forbidden English. Heh heh... Belgium is a dirty word...

As a fellow glasses-wearer, I find pushing my glasses up with a middle finger makes a fine statement, especially if accompanied with a glare or cocked eyebrow, or with a huge grin.

Everyone gets the joke and if you grin at them while you do it, without saying a word it says F**k you and instant comedy as well. ;)

Or if you really want to piss someone off, licking your middle finger in a "suggestive" way is really, really, fun, especially with your friends, as long as you don't mind dodging smacks.

Me, as you know me, IF you know me, will be going away in two weeks. There are... dare I say it... MEDS on the horizon...

glasses or no glasses, middle finger always makes a very powerful statement that u intend to get over with the thing. i love to use it esp. when the the word itself is not really helping too much. and by the way i am a glass-wearer too

hey niudo, how does the phrase 'despair factioner' appear under your name. i tried a lot to get something under mine too butto no result

Or if you really want to piss someone off, licking your middle finger in a "suggestive" way is really, really, fun, especially with your friends, as long as you don't mind dodging smacks.

:D That is hilarious!

mithrandhir , I think all the members that were here before the new board software (near the first of the year) had titles, and us newbies can't get them yet. Or it has something to do with the difference between free members like us, or those who have paid for membership. Frankly, I have not figured out what paying money would do, since they can't change titles anymore...

Maybe someone will explain it all to us in the "site feedback" forum.

yeah silverback!let me add!the best things in the world come for free. as soon as u r charged for it, the facility looses its charm