Guys im writin a novel so i need some good innovative assanition ideas go ahead and splurge ur ideas ......

Hmm, writing a novel usually requires that one use proper grammar ....which you seem to lack in giant quantities.

Baron Max

Hmm, writing a novel usually requires that one use proper grammar ....which you seem to lack in giant quantities.

Baron Max

They probably think that the editor will take care of that. :shh:

write one about a woman who was building some kind of musical instrument entirely out of bones, and her obsession led her to assassinating people for their bones

write one about a woman who was building some kind of musical instrument entirely out of bones, and her obsession led her to assassinating people for their bones

Wouldn't it be more efficient to dig up graves?

Wouldn't it be more efficient to dig up graves?

Efficient doesn't equal coolness.

I haven't heard of any assassination by atomic seperation. That seems pretty cool, if you can figure out how to make the device used for it realistic.

Wouldn't it be more efficient to dig up graves?

no, the bones must have belonged to very beautiful and interesting people to have an actual value

so that if this becomes a movie you can have some chances to put some titty scenes

how about deep fried people?

A serial killer is on the prowl. He used to be a teacher. He got more and more upset about the lousy academic performance of his students.

This culminated in an incident where he forced a text book on American History down the throat of a simpleton.

He was fired.

A small inheritance enabled to concentrate on his obsession: to rid the world of simpletons.

He spends most of his time searching internet forums for posts which rape the English language and make a mockery of the concept of grammar.

He finds out the real identity of the forum member, and kills the victim by slowly choking them on literature, generously applied to the oral cavity.

The police is perplexed because they cannot figure out how the murderer picks his victims. They call him the 'professional', which is ironic since it is a hobby.

He lives happily ever after.

write one about a woman who was building some kind of musical instrument entirely out of bones, and her obsession led her to assassinating people for their bones

Brilliant! I want to read that book! Especially if she does the killing or subsequent cutting up of the body naked.

In fact, I started on this marvelous book.


The Bone Collector, by Varda

Chapter 1

He followed her because he could not resist. She had approached him in the park, made petty talk, simultaneously eyeing him up, almost as if she was taking his measurements.

He could not resist her eyes. Eyes that sparkled with mischievous intent.

It was his lunchbreak. A sandwich in the park had turned into an encounter with a woman he could not say no too. He said nothing at her question if he would like to come to her appartment. His legs had turned to putty. His heart was pounding a way out of his chest.

She had merely grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Where she touched his wrist fire ignited.

He had followed.

Her appartment was nearby. She pointed him to a large bathroom covered in tiles and very empty, and told him to take his clothes off and wait.

Mechanically he did.

She came in the bathroom. Naked. Divine. Small perfectly formed breasts. Erect nipples. The soft hairy triangle of promise, giving way to muscular slender.

His erection grew.

She came closer. A flash of metal disturbed his dreams. A spike of pain flashed from his abdomen. Red blood splashed on the tiled floor.

His eyes formed a question when they met hers.

'Much easier to clean up when you are naked' she said.

That was not the question he had asked.

Life flooded out of him.

Putty. Not 'puddy'. Stupid Dutchman. Too few breasts. I'll resist the temptation to repeat my earlier assertion that 'promises stink'. It would be inappropriate and in... bad taste.

Guys im writin a novel so i need some good innovative assanition ideas go ahead and splurge ur ideas ......

Mother Theresa and Ghandi return to life, marry, and go on a rampage.

Too few breasts..

I noticed that every time I give a woman more than two breasts people ask if I am a freak.

Hmm, writing a novel usually requires that one use proper grammar ....which you seem to lack in giant quantities.

Baron Max

Might be a graphic novel.:D

spurious, that is awesome :P
we should work on the scenery for an office, with skulls of all sizes and shapes on the shelves by the wall, and a large table with all sorts of shaping and polishing tools, where she is sitting, carefully shaping phalanges into tunning pegs

spurious, that is awesome :P
we should work on the scenery for an office, with skulls of all sizes and shapes on the shelves by the wall, and a large table with all sorts of shaping and polishing tools, where she is sitting, carefully shaping phalanges into tunning pegs

:yay: :xctd:

She is doing that naked right!?!

She could be polishing tools with her breasts! If I'm reading that right.

She could be polishing tools with her breasts! If I'm reading that right.

This is such a good idea that there cannot be another way to polish bones from now on.

Mother Theresa and Ghandi return to life, marry, and go on a rampage.
thats some wicked humour im hearing from u yet again i liked theresa but not gandhi he was about to ruin a country which he painstakingly set free

Hmm, writing a novel usually requires that one use proper grammar ....which you seem to lack in giant quantities.

Baron MaxU never know max im not senior user on this forum.But you are.i have seen your mediocrity in a thread that you posted depicting you as a peeping tom disrupting two teenagers satisfying their natural cravings .Anyway thanks for the piece of advice

Two black homosexual drug addicts decide to kill all the straight, white, straight people in the world because straight, white, straight people are stupid and boring and get on their nerves.

Together with their pre-op transexual dog Sandy they set off in their pickup truck which is full to the brim with incrediblly clever assassination gadgets such as pens that double as rocket launchers and wristwatches that stop time, etc.

But the FBI are onto them as they've been watching them for, like, 67 weeks. So Mavis and Brian (by the way, they're called Mavis and Brian) quickly ram all their heroin up their arse so that they don't get told off for injecting it, then have a massive shootout with the police, so that the police all die in a massive bloodbath and then they all live happily for ever after, shooting up heroin in a hut on an island with a load of other black gays.

LASER BEAMS!!!

Laser beams are cool and only used in James Bond movies, so they are very original.

http://*******************/cartoons/cartoons_september_2007/03-september-2007.png

Two black homosexual drug addicts decide to kill all the straight, white, straight people in the world because straight, white, straight people are stupid and boring and get on their nerves.

Together with their pre-op transexual dog Sandy they set off in their pickup truck which is full to the brim with incrediblly clever assassination gadgets such as pens that double as rocket launchers and wristwatches that stop time, etc.

But the FBI are onto them as they've been watching them for, like, 67 weeks. So Mavis and Brian (by the way, they're called Mavis and Brian) quickly ram all their heroin up their arse so that they don't get told off for injecting it, then have a massive shootout with the police, so that the police all die in a massive bloodbath and then they all live happily for ever after, shooting up heroin in a hut on an island with a load of other black gays.

A Quentin Tarantino movie?

He's interested.

Two American Patriots are serving the US Marine corp.

The president invites them to the White House. They stand in attention while an intern polishes the bone of the President of the United States. When he speaks they pay attention because the President is the Free'est man in the world. A man you should listen too.

He has a mission for them. The fate of the free world depends on them. They are honoured.

He orders them to kill the First Lady.

They are shocked! The First Lady? How can that be, but they show no emotion because they are professionals.

They get some spy gear such as chewing gum that turns into plastic explosives and a watch that make time fly by.

They go to the house of the first lady and enter it from the back door. They leave fake finger prints belonging to two black homosexual drug addicts.

The enter the bedroom of the first lady. They are shocked to see that the is making passionate love to Dick Cheney. They show no emotion because they are professionals.

They kill them by shooting them, holding their guns sideways like black homosexual drug addicts do. This means that most bullets miss the target but it adds authenticity to the crime scene.

Dick Cheney puts on his jacket in the meanwhile and quietly leaves. The first lady gets hit after 15 minutes of intensive shooting. The finish her off by sitting on her face and leave like professionals.

When the police arrive they are at loss at what to do and they call the FBI.

Genious and innovative professional assasinations

Guys im writin a novel so i need some good innovative assanition ideas go ahead and splurge ur ideas ......

Oh God.
Please don't.

Guys im writin a novel so i need some good innovative assanition ideas go ahead and splurge ur ideas ......

Play this video game: Hitman: Blood Money, you basically play an assassin, there are many ways to get rid of your targets, may give you some inspiration.

Oh God.
Please don't.

why?

write one about a woman who was building some kind of musical instrument entirely out of bones, and her obsession led her to assassinating people for their bones

Varda's secret fantasy...

Varda's secret fantasy...

Or reality.

Or reality.

Wouldn't surprise me

Wouldn't it be more efficient to dig up graves?

omg i got a better explanation for this
she only kills really talented musicians, because she needs to feel like the sould of music is in the ver bones

GOOD HUH?

yeah, i know, time to slowly step away from the computer

Ram the "subjects" vehicle into a tunnel. Close off the area and make sure subject is dead. Blame adoring paparatzi.

Train rats to hunt down the victim and eat their brains.
With ketchup.
Oh wait, the rats might squeal...

Nothing can really top the old long range shot while person is publically speaking. That shit never gets old.

http://www.pantheon.org/areas/gallery/mythology/europe/greek/prometheus.gif

The fire thief, prometheus

The old KGB sugar-coated-cyanide-pellet-injected-with-the-sharpened-end-of-an-umbrella trick.

The bonbon killer of old ladies.

This professional hitman fills up bonbons with a 2 component superglue. His speciality is old ladies with lots of money. He is hired by the progeny of these old ladies to accelerate the access to their rightful share of the bounty gathered by their parental unit.

The bonbon man visits the old ladies under the pretext of doing a bonbon survey.

Old ladies are very suspicious of strange men, unless they are bonbon surveyors. This is a well know fact.

Biting the bonbon destroys the chocolate wall between the components and the glue instantly gets mixed by the mastication process.

The old lady cannot call for help or retaliate by biting the professional hitman.

He now breaks the old ladies hip, puts her in the tub, and leaves for a few days. He returns to check up on her regularly. The moment she is dead he squirts a solvent into her mouth which washes away the superglue.

He then collects his fee.

It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.

Bore the target to death.

Nuke them...

Assassinations are easy. Just wait for the right time and kill the target with a long distance rifle. What's the point of it being 'genius'?

Assassinations are easy. Just wait for the right time and kill the target with a long distance rifle. What's the point of it being 'genius'?

so that other realize of your inginuity.