I have total stage fright. I began stuttering during an upper division management class presentation. God damn. I am pissed off at myself. I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.

I have total stage fright. I began stuttering during an upper division management class presentation. God damn. I am pissed off at myself. I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Stuttering isn't really so bad that you no longer deserve your penis. And maybe there's some help you can get so that you don't stutter anymore?

I have total stage fright. I began stuttering during an upper division management class presentation. God damn. I am pissed off at myself. I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.
You're in fine company. Most people not only find the idea of public speaking terrifying, but impossible. I am good in small groups, but I won't even attempt to do a large one. That kind of anxiety has landed me in the hospital before.

I don't like public speaking either. I had to do a Best Man speech at a wedding once. It was brutal! I was shaking the whole time. It didn't help that I only wrote the speech the night before. But, I had good material, and I still delivered it well, simply because I put my mind on other things, and tried to relax. I didn't feel very good about my performance, but the audience seemed to not notice my suffering.

I find it easier to speak in front of people if I'm confident in what I'm saying. Practice what you are going to say as much as you can ahead of time. Also, other types of performances can help you get over your fear of public speaking. For example, if you play in a band, perform a few live shows.

I have total stage fright. I began stuttering during an upper division management class presentation. God damn. I am pissed off at myself. I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.Somehow without planning on it, I've found myself in the position to have to talk to groups of people and give presentations fairly regularly and I am not an outgoing person (although I've gotten much better). I've found two main principles to remember that help:

One, don't over prepare. Your preparation should consist of knowing your subject, not memorizing lines. Do not write out your presentation or speech verbatim and try to memorize it unless it's very short. If you look away from your notes to make eye contact you will inevitably loose your place and the only way to avoid that is to keep your eyes glued to your notes in which case you wind up looking petrified and stiff as a board. You note cards should contain only a general outline of your presentation; I put each outline point on a single card. You can include some specific facts if they are necessary.

Two, remember that people are generally compassionate towards a nervous speaker. Very few people enjoy speaking in front of crowds and they typically empathize with someone who is. Exhibiting nervousness, stumbling or stuttering over words is more common that not. When you do so, don't punish yourself. You'll only work yourself up tighter and make it worse. Pause, take a breath, relax, and smile at the crowd. I usually say something like, "my tongue is still asleep this morning", "sorry, I'm a little nervous", or "let me try that again". Pause again and continue. They are not there to judge you. They are there to hear what you have to say. If you know what you're talking about you'll be fine.

Don't beat yourself up. It's difficult. And you'll do better next time.

Here's a link with more good points:

http://www.stresscure.com/jobstress/speak.html

~Raithere

http://www.toastmasters.org/

I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.

so what ur saying is, you want to change ur sex from male to female? you want to become a transvestite?

http://www.dalecarnegie.com/

If you use powerpoint presentations;

write on the slides what you want to say; then practice reading it like 15 times before the presentation.

If you don't use power point do the same thing with index cards.

Just write out EXACTLY what you want to say; use short succint statements; practice enough that you know the material ( 6-8 lines per slide per minute); keep some extra time in case you go over a minute per slide.

As for the stuttering,if you feel it coming on, just stop speaking, take slow regular breaths, look at the card or slide as if orienting yourself or making deliberate pause, then read from slide or card.


You can also smile at the audience and confess you're nervous; usually helps.
Helps to go over presentation with a friend.

PRACTICE! PRACTICE!! PRACTICE!!!

Best of luck next time.

so what ur saying is, you want to change ur sex from male to female? you want to become a transvestite?

That's an ignorant thing to say. There's a lot of men without dicks that are not transestites. What about all the Vietnam veterans who got their penis blown off in the war. What about all the husbands that got their wang snipped by their wives.

So, if I decided to cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a needy family of dolphins, it would not automatically classify me as gay or a transvestite.

After a short SciForum haitus, I'm proud to announce...I'm back.

Anyway, there's an excellent book I've read called "Life is a Series of Presentations", by Tony Jeary. It provides some easy to remember techniques to get over stage fright and actually present what you want to say, regardless of audience size. From an audience of one to an audience of one thousand, it's got some good tips for a lot of diverse situations. And yes, I'm aware that this sounds like a sales pitch.

I found this book in my local public library, but I'm not sure if it's still in circulation at major bookstores. If you can't find it:

www.amazon.com

AmishRakeFight

I am pissed off at myself. I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.

Pshhh.. no need. Just FedEx it to me. My dog loves sausages.

Don't forget Ice.

so what ur saying is, you want to change ur sex from male to female? you want to become a transvestite?
That was an unintelligent and slightly insulting thing to say... Firstly, it was a figure of speech. Secondly, the word you want is "transsexual". A transvestite is someone who prefers to dress with clothing made for the opposite sex. Thirdly, the statement wouldn't make him either a transsexual or a transvestite.

I'm pretty sure it was just a joke. No need to take it all seriously.

You never know on SciForums, with people like Muslim, Vincent, and MattMarr scampering about.

I could just cut my fecking dick off and feed it to a family of dolphins.

No. No. No.
Cut off your dick and put it in your mouth while speaking.
Roll it around under your tongue and it'll act to divert some of your attention from your nervousness and will also keep your saliva flowing.

This is an old trick Abraham Lincoln used to quell his nerves while speaking in public.

Well...
Honest Abe sucked on pebbles, but since your dick's so small and you're going to cut it off anyhow... might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Speak in front of people as often as possible.
When not able to do so, do it for pretend at home.
All of whatever you have is nothing that nobody else has. It will disappear as you do it more often.

No. No. No.
Cut off your dick and put it in your mouth while speaking.
Roll it around under your tongue and it'll act to divert some of your attention from your nervousness and will also keep your saliva flowing.

This is an old trick Abraham Lincoln used to quell his nerves while speaking in public.

Well...
Honest Abe sucked on pebbles, but since your dick's so small and you're going to cut it off anyhow... might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Yeah,

Says the man with the large anus.