I knew someone was going to ask . Good Anglo Saxons . I don't venture to make a comparison to Asian , I understand thy are also very family oriented .
You claim that certain cultures have higher (assume you mean greater) level of respect, well what is respect? In some cultures respect is bowing, if I did that to my parents they would assume I was being sarcastic so how do you judge respect? Is respect saying yes sir and just following or is respect using what your parents have taught you and thinking for yourself? If you watch something like the sound of music, that's not respectful, that's abusive
I don't really have a clue. So if we americans are asked this relationship question I would venture to say we are a nation of many cultures. It would be hard to distinguish a general relation here. Just a personal one. And I would not wish to go there on a public site.
How is this higher respect supposed to be manifested? And what is Latin society? Do you mean Italian, or something else?
Also. Respect is not instinctive. It is earned. A more appropriate question might be, "Are mothers in certain cultures better than mothers in other cultures?". It is still stereotyping and racist, but it takes blame away from the child who is likely innocent. If a parent wants to be respected as a good parent, then they must be a good parent. You have shifted blame in your opening question, and perhaps you should be looking at that instead of how the kids behave. Take responsibility.
Let start with obedience . The Anglo society does not teach obedience to the children . So how caN YOU TEACH A CHILD if the child does not listen or obey. If he or she does not listen to the parents then there is no respect . " the respect is earned " Among adults probably , but not among kids . Before respect come fear . Think why people obey your rules on the forum . Why you obey traffic signals ?
Spanish speaking Italian French Portuguese. I see a difference here in the USA The attitude to parents between Children raised in their country and the risen in the USA
So what your really saying is that in other countries children fear there parents more? well considering that making your children afraid would be a breach of international laws the next question becomes what could possibly make you think this is a good thing? Trust isn't about fear, you only learn from people you trust, this is obvious when you look at the differences between normal children who are raised in a loving environment and children who have been physically and emotionally abused. There development is seriously delayed because they don't have that trusting environment to allow them to feel safe and therefore foster there development. You also don't learn if you don't question, "why is "believe" spelt b e l i e v e" "well because i comes before e except after c" Without questioning all you get is superficial knowledge, not deeper understanding
I would not agree that this is divisible by nations. Affection for the mother is a universal, as is the mother's affection for the child. You seem to be referring to the cultural differences in the way people express their affection. In some cultural and ethnic groups they may kiss Mom on both cheeks while others may give her a hug. Family tradition would have a lot to do with it. But I fail to see how one group has a higher respect for Mom than another.
Asguard. Please. Respect is that feeling, of, well, respect. Things I respect: Baseball Science The female anatomy I wish I could paint you a picture. To be respected. It must feel as if you are part of the "crew." Not only that, they look to you. They give you. Haven't you felt respect? Well, I enjoy your post, buddy. Your trying to get to a ultra basic concept. Respect is what respect is, how can I make you feel it?
exactly the kind of answer i would expect to see from a child abuser trying to justify their crime Respect doesn't come from fear, fear breads resentment. If you put someone in fear of you the BEST that can be hoped for is to keep them submissive right up until the day they get a little taller or stronger than you and then the one in fear is going to be YOU. That's not respect Respect is about trusting that no matter what you do or say, no matter how stupid you are, no matter what happens to you, someone will love you and support you and protect you from anything that would hurt you. THAT is respect, THAT is being a parent, the rest is just child abuse/ Anyone who hits anyone including a child is committing battery which is automatically the crime of assault and that came word for word from quite a senior police officer.
Youreyes yes, I'm definitely sure bells didn't respect the old guy who hit her with a cane just because he was elderly. Such a pity she didn't respect him more isn't it, though I suppose it was probably the stress of having all those tests to make sure his cane didn't give her a miscarriage. Again, respect is earned
This is really really all messed up. Children do not need to be 'taught obedience'. Children learn by watching. It's pretty much that simple in terms of their learning. Think of language, do you really have to 'teach' them many of the words they speak? A little yes, but they pretty much pick it up watching and listening. The most important thing about children is not to hit them. If you want them to 'respect' you, then you need to live a life worthy of being respected. You can beat fear into children, but respect isn't fear. The two are often confused.
@ arauca, I originally mentioned that you shift the blame in the OP of this thread to the children, as if respect were supposed to be part of a childs DNA, it is not and must be earned. It is true that you can be an ass towards your children when they are younger and they will fear you and will be polite children. However they will also grow up and resent you and continue to fear you and carry bucketloads worth of acceptance problems to their therapists, and might possibly seek abuse relationships as adults. That is the way you suggest. FEAR. This is not a psychologically sound method of raising children, and if you believe this method, and have raised children to fear you then I suggest you quickly learn that you are a horrible parent, and seek outside guidance to repair yourself and your children. Perhaps even take in a Disney movie from time to time. Have you ever seen a child on television spanked or raised in fear? You may notice your opinions on raising children have SHOCKED members like Asguard and more. It is shocking. Asguard said it nicely here, DO NOT THINK I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN. I have three children of my own, and can honestly say none of them has EVER been hit or spanked by an adult, and they are all seem above average in social skill, education, and in IMHO looks. If my children misbehaved or hit a child in my presence or ran off when they were younger and needed discipline Myself or my wife would take the child away from the situation and tell them they were being punished for whatever it was they were doing. We called this a "TIME-OUT". We would tell them that was wrong behavior, and questioned why they would do such a thing. The children would often feel upset that they disappointed us and would apologize. A lengthy time-out would be 5 minutes (no extreme length was required). Then you send your child back over to apologize or carry on playing. That was it. - My children were all breastfed until the age of almost 2 - My children have never been hit or spanked - My children have never had a soother (toy they suck on that parents use to stop young kids/babies from crying). - 2 of 3 of my children started school at the age of 3 months as their mother was a Daycare worker and seem socially advanced because of it. - My children have never missed a meal as discipline. - No other adult has ever hit my children. All of my children are polite and do not swear. All of my children seem to be imaginative and playful. All of my children smile too much (if possible) and are very happy. All of my children respect me and their mother. If I raise my voice and tell them to stop doing something then they stop. Not once was violence EVER needed. All my children use an intricate allowance system (they pay for half of items they wish for), and are being taught to budget and the value of money. I wish you could meet them so you could see that FEAR has never been any part of their lives. I wish you could see how well they behave. I wish you could see that your parenting attitude might come from your own experiences as a child, but are not necessarily the best or only ways. IF I EVER RAISED MY HAND TO MY CHILDREN AND INSTILLED FEAR IN THEM FOR EVEN A MINUTE OF THEIR LIVES I WOULD GROVEL ON THE GROUND BEFORE THEM AND BEG THEIR FORGIVENESS. I WONT EVEN SPANK MY DOG. Please watch this, and remember this is a 3-5 minute thing. [video=youtube;wVl4ucfkPDY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVl4ucfkPDY[/video] [video=youtube;EPCIJl8P0q0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPCIJl8P0q0[/video] I have tried to say this in the nicest possible way, but for heavens sake remember that these are children. They do not need to be tough and perfect at that age. I WOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF IF I HELD YOUR ATTITUDE ARAUCA, AND WOULD SEEK GUIDANCE TO REPAIR MY RELATIONSHIPS NOW IF YOU ARE A PARENT. I cannot say how very effective these tiny TIME-OUT punishments can be and thank those parents for sharing the youtube videos. I am sorry if I am contradicting your entire belief system, but what does your common sense tell you. Statistics have proven that those raised by spankings (or worse), ARE MORE LIKELY TO BECOME CRIMINALS AS ADULTS. What do you really expect? http://www.pedsforparents.com/articles/2906.shtml http://www.post-gazette.com/stories...ints-to-downside-of-spanking-children-642903/ As a parent with well behaved and intelligent kids who have never been spanked I can vouch for the Time-Out methods of discipline. You can say parents hit their kids for thousands of years, but to what extent, and certainly not in every home and culture. I have read archaeological texts from over 5000 years ago where they advocate loving over abuse in the family. To me any form of "respect through fear" is abuse. If your children get married early and run off with the first person they meet then you may understand why. I get physically ill just thinking of your attitude.
