Someone was telling me about this movie called 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. In it a man has his memory erased after discovering his female underwent the same procedure. It would seem they had been having some problems in their relationship and she felt it was the only way out. After considering this for some time I realized, although I've never been in a romantic setting with a girl and not experienced anything like it, what exactly is the problem? How hard can it possibly be to get along and not destroy a relationship with your lover?

It's completely confusing to me how anyone can grow tired of someone, I don't get bored with friends I just grow to enjoy their company and miss them. What would possibly make 2 people in love fall out of it or decide to break up? It's hard to believe that anyone who does have a problem lacks a method to fix it. If you fight then change, if you are mean then be nice, what's so tough?

Can anyone here explain this, and tell me if you're familiar with someone intimately will it eventually lead you to have contempt for them? What logic is there in this? To me I can't see why grown adults would have any difficulty in forming a relationship that lasts, unless of course they're unwilling to be in one.

It's not a matter of logic or reason. I don't know why it happens. You'll learn eventually.

I could tell you why, but the only way you will learn this is to experience it.

When most people fall in love with someone, they fall in love out of uncontrolled passion.
Imo, love is realizing yourself in someone other. But many people actually end up in wanting to live with copies of themselves, with their projection on the other person (the idea of their mate), not what that person really is.
So when the illusion of the projection falls down, contempt arises, because the other person is not the one you thought you were living with any more.

The key for long lasting relationships is to love with compassion not passion.

The key for long lasting relationships is to love with compassion not passion.

Very well said.
I would only add that when you love with compassion, passion will inevitably be there as well, however loving with passion will certainly not guarantee compassion.

Someone was telling me about this movie called 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. In it a man has his memory erased after discovering his female underwent the same procedure. It would seem they had been having some problems in their relationship and she felt it was the only way out. After considering this for some time I realized, although I've never been in a romantic setting with a girl and not experienced anything like it, what exactly is the problem? How hard can it possibly be to get along and not destroy a relationship with your lover?

It's completely confusing to me how anyone can grow tired of someone, I don't get bored with friends I just grow to enjoy their company and miss them. What would possibly make 2 people in love fall out of it or decide to break up? It's hard to believe that anyone who does have a problem lacks a method to fix it. If you fight then change, if you are mean then be nice, what's so tough?

Can anyone here explain this, and tell me if you're familiar with someone intimately will it eventually lead you to have contempt for them? What logic is there in this? To me I can't see why grown adults would have any difficulty in forming a relationship that lasts, unless of course they're unwilling to be in one.
Something I only learned after being in love, as will you. I'm not sure if it can be put to words.

:( that's scary

:( that's scary

It could be taken just as a sign to tell you "Hey, you're close, but this isn't quite the one."

It could be taken just as a sign to tell you "Hey, you're close, but this isn't quite the one."

Which is why I am a FIRM believer in living together before marriage.

Spectacular movie, by the way - one of my favorites.

Which is why I am a FIRM believer in living together before marriage.

Indeed.

Another aspect of relationships that many people do not realise is that you also need to have a life out of said relationship. I have found that couples who share the same interests in everything and have no interests that differ or friends and hobbies (for lack of a better term) that differs from their significant other tend to become almost bored with their partner after a period of time. In short, if you do everything in your life with your partner, then after a time, you can actually begin to feel as though your own identity is the same as the other. I have seen it with friends who have no life outside of their relationship. They never go out without their partner. They do absolultely everything with them, even shop for clothes, etc. They tended to break up after a few years.

You need some degree of separation as well as being together. My husband and I lived together for a while before we married. We share a lot of interests, but not all. We do a lot of things together, but not everything. We share friends, but we also have friends of our own that we spend time with individually.

The important thing to remember is that while you are in a relationship, marriage, etc, you are also an individual within that relationship. Once you cannot distinguish your own individuality in a relationship, you can find yourself lost and I have seen friends who become resentful of their partner because of it. You need to have a life outside of a relationship, just as much as you have one in the relationship itself.

Someone was telling me about this movie called 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'.

I've never been in a romantic setting with a girl and not experienced anything like it.

Can anyone here explain this.Sammy, you just absolutely have to get over this lazy fantasy of yours that you can live a satisfying life ON THE INTERNET!

This one is particularly pathetic: You're discussing HUMAN EMOTIONS with people you only know ON THE INTERNET but it's about something SOMEBODY ELSE saw IN A MOVIE!

Three degrees of separation! How many more are you going to build between yourself and real life? Do you really, honestly, genuinely think that you can understand relationships, which are primarily emotional, without having the experience?

We are all your friends but we simply cannot help you if you continually refuse to help yourself. The only advice anyone can give you on this subject is:

PUT DOWN THE MOUSE AND GO OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD!

You are wrong Fraggle, emotions can be understood by writing about them. We can grasp things from others we don't learn about ourselves by reading it. I declare emotions are part of a relationship but only a weak fool lets them dictate it, thus females and men are always breaking up an such because they like imagination.

females......

You are wrong Fraggle, emotions can be understood by writing about them. We can grasp things from others we don't learn about ourselves by reading it. I declare emotions are part of a relationship but only a weak fool lets them dictate it, thus females and men are always breaking up an such because they like imagination.

You couldn't possibly be more wrong - even if you tried.

It's not boredom or excessive "familiarity". It's finding out that someone isn't what you thought (s)he was, or realizing that you got into a relationship that wouldn't give you what you needed from it, or discovery that something that you're irrationally attracted to is actually only bad for you...