http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3295/2904863495_8b574039be.jpg

Dream Lover is about a girl, who dreams. She dreams herself and her lover, and the game is between herself and herself. She lives and is born from her experiences in the dream realm. Alas, it is never just a dream.

Made this short film with some of my friends. Spent 3 days filming and two weeks editing (a few hours each day after work).

Please tell me, what you think! It's my first try, so please be honest.

Watch or download here:
http://exposureroom.com/dreamlover
http://vimeo.com/1861070 (for slower connections, click HD-is-on, to turn HD off)

Film web page: http://our-fire.net/index.php?pid=28

Not my cup of tea. I couldn't watch through it.

:D kay

It's not that it was bad, it actually seemed well done.

So, first of all, congratulation for your first film, you made it!

My comment is.. I like the music and the 'color' of the movie (somewhat gray),
it enhances the movie a lot..

however:
- the plot isn't so clear, who is that guy with plastic bag on his head and with
dead body at the end of the movie? Anyway, because it's just a dream, I think
it is perfectly acceptable
- I think you need to improve the special effect.. for example, there is this scene
where a rose / a flower come out of the girl's mouth. Firstly, the way it came out
is too slow. Secondly, it disappear in not so 'soft' way. If it is difficult to make it
disappear softly, I don't think you have to make it disappear, because in the end
she will use the flower anyway...
- when she took out a cloth from the wardobe, the scene was too slow.. and so in
putting the button. It distracts the flow...
- the girl acting is fine, but the lover have to work a bit more.. there is this scene
where he faces the girl for the first time.. and the look in his face is just wrong..
- if possible, maybe you can try some effect that make the shot more soft.. like
for example, uhm, there is a bit pimples on the girl's face, it's a bit distracting (just
a bit). If you can reduce the contrast, I think it's better. The kissing scene is perfect
but I don't watch on that part much because I afraid I will be blushing

Overall, it's great, congratulations again. Actually I am supposed to work right
now, oh bye

Thanks for the review, inzomnia!

To your points:
- The guy with a plastic bag is a corpse collector, like in the middle ages during the black death, when people like him used to go around houses and collect the dead bodies. Just he has a Recycle sign on his back instead of a cross.
The corpse in the cart is the girl, just from the previous dream/incarnation.

- The special effects suck, aye. :D But the rose is meant to disappear fast, however the appearing of the rose is clumsy. But we didn't have much roses and it had to be done in the first go (one rose spoiled before that scene, one was destroyed, so we had only one rose left, and it was the middle of the night with no flower shop around).

- wardrobe - I agree, sorry.

- lover was just a friend of the girl who she was willing to kiss, so I hadn't much choice in selecting a more suitable actor.

- I specifically made it sharp, so that all imperfections of skin are visible. It's deliberate style. Not for everyone though.

Anybody else? :D

plot sux
too much grotesque picturesque
...short

i didnt watch much do (cant believe i type do, i meant due to) to no audio. Based on the first few seconds i would say that if your going for an old film look that the contrast is too high and you may want to soften the image up a bit. i will match it when i get to another system, with audio. Unless it is a silent film.

oh yeah Avatar...suggestion....if you can master it...but make the whole film in gray dark colors and the flowers or her lips...or blood in red very bright colors.

And yes make it all soft.

I did not like it, There was no action and it was very confusing, not the good type of confusing either it was just wierd. The background music was very annoying also.

The actual screen work was good, the camera work was good too. To be honest it was just kind of boring, but It's better than I could do so Im just saying what I think as a movie fan. If your appealing to a certain audience then maybe they will like it, Put some martial arts and guns in there and im ok.


peace.

oh yeah Avatar...suggestion....if you can master it...but make the whole film in gray dark colors and the flowers or her lips...or blood in red very bright colors.

And yes make it all soft.

That would not improve it.

peace.

I did not like it, There was no action and it was very confusing, not the good type of confusing either it was just wierd. The background music was very annoying also.

The actual screen work was good, the camera work was good too. To be honest it was just kind of boring, but It's better than I could do so Im just saying what I think as a movie fan. If your appealing to a certain audience then maybe they will like it, Put some martial arts and guns in there and im ok.


peace.

Hahahaha! But yes, it is for a special kind of audience. For an audience that would adore the soundtrack.
Thanks for your view though.

i didnt watch much do (cant believe i type do, i meant due to) to no audio. Based on the first few seconds i would say that if your going for an old film look that the contrast is too high and you may want to soften the image up a bit. i will match it when i get to another system, with audio. Unless it is a silent film.

It's a silent film and it's not going for old film look, just its own look.

plot sux
too much grotesque picturesque
...short

In other words - awesome! :cool:

Avatar, are you going to produce film/movie in the future or is this just for
hobby? Do you have a production house or do you plan to make one? In that
short film that you have made, were you the director and the screenwriter
altogether?

Just an idea, what if you make the contest of short film screenwriting (you
decide the theme and the duration), and the winning script will be used in your
next movie? You can as well give incentives to make people more motivated
(just an idea). I think for an amateur screenwriter, to have their name listed and
published in a movie will be already something to be proud of, they can put
this in their CV to promote their coming script.

Avatar, are you going to produce film/movie in the future or is this just for
hobby?
Those are not exclusive of each other.
Do you have a production house or do you plan to make one?
What's a production house? I can manage with myself and my friends for now, in the future I hope more will join. It's not for profit.
If all goes well we might establish a non-profit organisation.
In that
short film that you have made, were you the director and the screenwriter
altogether?
It was a quick script because we needed practice and were short on time. Aye, I wrote it.
Just an idea, what if you make the contest of short film screenwriting (you
decide the theme and the duration), and the winning script will be used in your
next movie?
No, I want to shoot my own scripts.

Those are not exclusive of each other.

What's a production house? I can manage with myself and my friends for now, in the future I hope more will join. It's not for profit.
If all goes well we might establish a non-profit organisation.

It was a quick script because we needed practice and were short on time. Aye, I wrote it.

No, I want to shoot my own scripts.

Production house (PH) is a company that produce and market the movies/films/
TV programs. To market your movie, you can sell it to a production house and
they will take care of the marketing. This is beneficial if you have no network..
If you have your own production house, you can supply your and other people's
movies, you can hire artists and supply them to moviemakers in your network,
etc. For a limited budget, you can make some independent PH. But as you
mentioned it is a non-profit organisation, I don't think you need one (?).

I don't want to market or sell anything, I just want to make films and give them away under a Creative Commons licence.
When I'm good enough I plan to ask for voluntary donations.

I know a friend who is a screenwriter. He is a classmate in highschool, then
went to the same University with me, but different major:

http://profiles.friendster.com/adhityamulya

He started to write novel when we were still in school, and all the character in
his novel are us, the classmate! Even my character is also there (with alias
name). :o His novel, the title is 'Jomblo' (which means single/bachelor) became
bestseller. And then some dude from production house adapt his novel into
movie, and the movie also sold well (probably because his novel was popular).
So far he has produced 4 novels, all of them are adapted into movies. But he
wrote in Indonesian only. Probably could be an inspiration.

Cool! :)

I have a mind for more visual films, as little words as possible. Expressionist, artistic, experimental.

Cool! :)

I have a mind for more visual films, as little words as possible. Expressionist, artistic, experimental.

I wish you best of luck, and thanks for sharing the film. (why I started to feel my job is boring :bawl:)

I liked some of the scenes, and particularly the weird camera angles...but the camera is too shaky.

Intentionally chaotic camera movement makes it look contrived.

If its unintentional try using a hand held tripod weighted at the bottom.

Yeah, I know it's a bit too shaky, I plan to buy a glidecam or something similar, when I have money for it.
And some places were too small for a tripod any way.
In some scenes we didn't use tripod, because we didn't have the time for it.

I plan to buy a glidecam or something similar...
One of the first films to use it was Kubrick's The Shining...the camera floats down the hallways of the old hotel, as if it were a ghost.

Your video reminds me of all those short art films made by Salvador Dail in the 1970s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGON1og89WY

Thanks! :D

Right now thinking the script of the second. It'll be even more abstract, but I hope with improved technique.

I like the story, but didn't like the music. In fact. I kept thinking "this is music" so I just muted it.
My 17 yr old son watched it and said "Cody needs to see this" Cody is a friend of his who takes film classes and makes his own movies.
Cody is gonna love you because Cody is gonna 'get' you.

My favourite surrealist film is The Holy Mountain...early seventies.

Some of the strangest imagery you'll ever see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIriWYxJClc&feature=related

I've seen the film, it's nice.

Watch or download here:
http://exposureroom.com/dreamlover
http://vimeo.com/1861070 (for slower connections, click HD-is-on, to turn HD off)

Any Flash-free versions?

You can download it at both URL's.