I was wondering when it comes to friendships, if you see what you look for in somebody. I know this guy that talks about his friend all the time and says he is a liar and is depressed and is selfish and that kind of thing,(amazing they are still friends), but then I go up and talk to the friend and get to know him and he is actually a really cool person and I don't see any of those things in him.

So my question is this, do you see what you are looking for in somebody?

He obviously was looking for negative things in his friend, but in reality, they(those attributes) weren't there or they weren't as major as he made it out to be.

Just curious as I see this trend happen a lot in different situations.

There's this person at my school that keeps saying bad stuff about me that isn't true, but when I talk to him he's nice and always in for a conversation :confused:

he is a liar and is depressed

I don't see any of those things in him.

Nothing is what it seems... :p

He may be depressed or something but he is hiding it. I have this friend for about 11 years and 3 years ago he was depressed for months when his father was in the hospital, suffering from wounds he got from a very bad car accident. That person changed totally(EX he became selfish to certain people) and became depressed, he would try to be alone or with trusted persons all the time.

Anyway, he wanted to stay home but I took him to parties and social events because I thought that beiing isolated from all the people wasn't good for him. When we were at the social events, he tried to hide his depression and he did a very good job only he was very different from the way he was acting before he became depressed.

What do you think of the guy saying those things about his friend? Maybe hes jealus or something.

to an extent i think that you see what you want to see in any situation - but maybe your friend knows things that you don't

Close friends know/see alot about each other that other peole may not realize. I notice alot of things about my best friend that other peole wouldn't think twice about, and i see many 'hidden' faults that other people may look over.

For example - when i went through a bulimia stage a year ago, only my closest friend knew about it, so only she could really understand how much i meant it when i called myself fat, or how serious i was when i claimed that i need to lose 10 pounds. Other people may have gotten on my back for claiming that I was fat, but only she could accuratly claim that i was obsessed about my weight and looks. If she had ever complained to someone that i was obsessive anout weight loss, they would have thought that she was just over reacting to my regular complaints.

Maybe your friend is just being negative, but i think that he may know something that you havn't seen yet

"This guy" probably knows his friend better than you do.
I've been the guy who was the only one who knew what a douche someone was, a couple of times actually.
People seem to leech onto me and just never fuck off and then people who see maybe 1hr of that person a week are like "they seem ok to me", yeah well, you don't see every little irritating quirk of that person, you don't see them throw the playstation control at the ground angrily when you beat them, you don't see them gulp down beverages loudly and brandish their fucking shit eating grin afterwards.
Unless you've experienced the friend as that guy has you are in no place to be saying how accurate his observations on that friend are.

For the record, everytime I've claimed someone was a douche my friends eventually figured it out. Their hours just needed time to add up untill they reached the amount that I reached when i figured it out.

Sorry parasite, i didn't realise you said the same thing.