As Cthulhu's High Priest i call on all to fall down and worship the great lord

*bows in worship*

oh great lord
forgive the worthless heritics
or i could just sacrifice them for you
your choice

*gets out cool obsidan knife*

Yeah right. :p

Cthulhu is my bitch.

*Ties adam up*

dam got to be nice to adam cause xev is in love with him:p


oh well i think he can stay tied up for her:D

Yeah. It'll save her the trouble.:D ...:eek:!

drops immense, 300 ton mutli-dimensional sub-matter ANVIL on Cthulhu's big squishy squid head

That, as they say, is that.

*Xev slips into ceremonial robes*

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

*A giant tentacle drags Northwind off to the 8th dimension*

No, Cthulhu, no! We need his anvil throwing skills! Please forgive him!

*Giant tentacle releases Northwind* :p

did you take tht sig sentence about truth from TruthSeeker, Xev? Sounds wacky:p

We most certainly do need his anvil throwing skills. Thank you Cthulhu!:D

*in soft voice* Do not feed the sqiud. I repeat..do NOT feed the squid.

(yoda voice) The squid is my ally. And a powerful ally it is.

And don't you ever forget it, baby.

http://homepage.mac.com/northwind/.Pictures/yeahbaby.jpg

You are fools for worshipping Cthulhu! Cthulhu is an evil demon and will be defeated!

Adam: He is not your bitch, if you worship him, you are enslaved to him!

Northwind: Your anvils are not enough, but I have the ANVIL OF GOD!

Asguard, Xev: Thou fools, Cthulhu is evil! You must find JESUS and REBUKE demons or be trapped in bondage to them!

Great lord
will you eat him
PLEASE
Just for me?


*Cthulhu grubles a bit then reaches out a tentical and grabes JESUS and startes to nibble*

who said bondage was bad?:p

being tied up is fun, but doing the tieing is even better:D

"Northwind: Your anvils are not enough, but I have the ANVIL OF GOD!"

*Xev collapses in peals of laughter*

"Asguard, Xev: Thou fools, Cthulhu is evil! You must find JESUS and REBUKE demons or be trapped in bondage to them!"

Rebuking demons trapped in bondage....Foxy dear, there are CHILDREN reading this site! Please, think of the children!

I will NEVER reject Cthulhu - he is my friend.

Asguard:
Great lord
will you eat him
PLEASE
Just for me?

I am still here, typing away, try to stop me! Cthulhu cannot stop me, I have the power of JESUS!

Xev:
Rebuking demons trapped in bondage....Foxy dear, there are CHILDREN reading this site! Please, think of the children!

What does that mean?

I will NEVER reject Cthulhu - he is my friend.

Yes you will reject Cthulhu you demon-worshipping hussy!

Originally posted by FoxMulder
[BNorthwind: Your anvils are not enough, but I have the ANVIL OF GOD!
[/B]

Boy, I AM the anvil of god.

http://homepage.mac.com/northwind/.Pictures/flaminganvil.jpg

i freed you from your devotion to that JESUS

my great lord is currently muching on yours

*yells*

be carefull great lord

dont want to get a stomic ach

as to you foxy

i summon a demon

summon great death creature

KAL VAS CORP XEN

just go chase him around for a while

"I am still here, typing away, try to stop me! Cthulhu cannot stop me, I have the power of JESUS! "

Cthulhu can stop you easily. This is logical - see

Jesus = fish symbol
Cthulhu = squid symbol

Squid eat fish. Lots of fish. Cthulhu especially likes Chilean sea bass, but you will do.

We can easily make you stop posting for the night.

You are weak, FoxMulder, and Cthulhu is strong. If you piss him off, you shall not last long. Iä-R'yleh! Cthulhu fhtagn! Iä! Iä! Iä!

"Yes you will reject Cthulhu you demon-worshipping hussy!"

I will never reject the Great Old One, fish-worshipping nutcase! :p

What did you do! I could not reply for ten minutes until I pressed "reload".

Northwind:
Boy, I AM the anvil of god.

Oh good! Another Christian to attack this 'Cthulhu'!

Asguard:
i freed you from your devotion to that JESUS

my great lord is currently muching on yours

NEVER! That is impossible! Cthulhu is demon calamari!

KAL VAS CORP XEN

Has no affect on me!

Xev:
Cthulhu can stop you easily. This is logical - see

Jesus = fish symbol
Cthulhu = squid symbol

Your false demonic logic cannot sway me!

We can easily make you stop posting for the night.

Just try! I will save you from demons!

You are weak, FoxMulder, and Cthulhu is strong. If you piss him off, you shall not last long. Iä-R'yleh! Cthulhu fhtagn! Iä! Iä! Iä!

Your spells do not affect me - I am wearing ARMOR OF GOD!

I will never reject the Great Old One, fish-worshipping nutcase!

JEZUS is my LIGHT and my STRENGTH! Your demon-god cannot fight him and win!

no good calling on your fish man

he is squid food

*yells*

was he nice great one

*Cthulhu Belches*

and foxy did my demon burn your bum while he was chacing you around?

“Over the jagged peaks of Thok they sweep,
Heedless of all the cries I make,
And down the nether pits to that foul lake
Where the puffed shoggoths splash in doubtful sleep.”

*lightning bolt hits foxy in the ass*

hehehhe

"What did you do! I could not reply for ten minutes until I pressed "reload"."

This spell:

Cthulhu, don't let FoxMulder respond for ten minutes. Cthulhu, I command you in the name of the Gate. Ia, Yog-Sothoth! Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.

"Just try! I will save you from demons!"

Not bloody likely! :p

"Your spells do not affect me - I am wearing ARMOR OF GOD!"

Take a cold shower, sweetie. This ain't AOL. Nobody wants to know what you are wearing.

"JEZUS is my LIGHT and my STRENGTH! Your demon-god cannot fight him and win!"

Cthulhu can easily win
Squid eat fish, Foxy
Have you rejected Jesus yet?
Isn't it about time you did?

Cthulhu loves you.
Cthulhu is good.
Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

Maybe I was disconnected for longer this time, but you cannot stop me!

Asguard:
no good calling on your fish man

he is squid food

Never! Not happening!

and foxy did my demon burn your bum while he was chacing you around?

Nothing happened between us!

Xev:
Not bloody likely!

It WILL happen!

Cthulhu can easily win

No, he cannot.

Squid eat fish, Foxy

Your athiestic anologies are worthless!

Have you rejected Jesus yet?

Never!

Isn't it about time you did?

Never! He is my light and my rock!

Cthulhu loves you.

No, he does not! He does not love you either! You must repent! Repent your demon worship! TURN OR BURN!!!!!!

poor foxy

burnt his bum on my lightning bolts

don't worry, stick it in salt water and it will be alright

and while your down there bow to the great lord

*great one eats another worthless heritic*

*belch*

Thats descusting great one

"Maybe I was disconnected for longer this time, but you cannot stop me!"

*Xev slips into ceremonial robes and grabs a Necronomicon to chant*

Ia-R'yleh, Cthulhu fhtagn! Ia Ia Ia!

Cthulhu, with this book I summon thee
Cthulhu, who came from the stars
Cthulhu, a great ruler in the past
Cthulhu, who was treacherously betrayed
Cthulhu, who was imprisioned beneath the waves
Cthulhu, who dreams in R'yleh
Cthulhu, who shall return
Cthulhu, who will lead once again
Cthulhu, mankind's benefactor, grant me this favor
And stop FoxyNutter from posting the rest of the night


"Nothing happened between us!"

Then why have you got demon-lipstick on your collar? :p

"It WILL happen!"

No, it will not.

"Your athiestic anologies are worthless!"

*Sniffle*

You've hurt my feelings!

"Never! "

You do not believe in those old fairy tales, FoxMulder, I can sense it.

"Never! He is my light and my rock!"

Jesus is lighting a rock? You two are smoking crack?

That explains a lot. :rolleyes:

"No, he does not! He does not love you either!"

Yes, he does. Do not reject Cthulhu, who loves you and wants you to be happy, FoxMulder.

don't forget insane and eaten, xev

DAM wasn't surpose to reavile that was I

*bows humbly before great lord*

i humby beg forgiveness for reviling your plan once you are the presidant of the US

But then even if you are trying to eat everyone you would still do a better job than bush

Great lord

i shall now cast my crystal barrier spell and block the meannie from posting for the night

IN VAS YLEM

(Cause Great Matter)

THERE

*satisfided shake of the head*

the Great lord can get some sleep

I see the light and here the call......

CTHULHU!!!!!

......reaches for Tori Amos 'Silent all these years' Bathes in the glory and light which is Cthulhu

All hail The great lord.

one down

now for foxy

Yes Foxy, come to us, come see all the pretty colors weeeeeeee yippeeee

(yoda voice) rest, must rest....

Yes, too old, to begin the training. Foxman Patterson has been corrupted.

NO! Don't give in Fox! Don't go to the dark side! Nooooooooooooo! (Cthulhu wraps tentacle around ankle and proceeds to drag across floor with much kicking and biting) :D

Originally posted by FoxMulder
What did you do! I could not reply for ten minutes until I pressed "reload".

Northwind:


Oh good! Another Christian to attack this 'Cthulhu'!



Boy, you ever refer to me as christian again, and I will find you, and you will spend the next thousand years begging me to let you die.

You tell him, Northwind!

"Boy, you ever refer to me as christian again, and I will find you, and you will spend the next thousand years begging me to let you die."

Ha ha ha!

Yes, Foxy, and if you ever imply that I'd convert I'll find you and I'll strangle you with your own intestines.

Guess he stopped posting for the night. See Foxy, behold the power of cheese - I mean, Cthulhu!

Welcome to the Cult, Bbcboy!

Xev:
You do not believe in those old fairy tales, FoxMulder, I can sense it.

They are not fairy tales! They are true!

Jesus is lighting a rock? You two are smoking crack?

The Lamb and I are drinking New Wine!

Yes, he does. Do not reject Cthulhu, who loves you and wants you to be happy, FoxMulder.

Cthulhu does not want me to be happy! He wants to destroy me! He made me unable to respond last night - my computer screen turned blue and said "press any key to continue" but when I pressed keys, nothing happened!

Northwind:
Boy, you ever refer to me as christian again, and I will find you, and you will spend the next thousand years begging me to let you die.

You are not a Christian? Why is nobody on this site a Christian? It is not normal!

"Cthulhu does not want me to be happy! He wants to destroy me! He made me unable to respond last night - my computer screen turned blue and said "press any key to continue" but when I pressed keys, nothing happened"

The Great Gretzkyson wants me to be happy. He doesn't particularily care about you, but he loves me!



"You are not a Christian? Why is nobody on this site a Christian? It is not normal!"

Yes it is. The majority of people are not Christian.

Originally posted by FoxMulder
Northwind:

You are not a Christian? Why is nobody on this site a Christian? It is not normal!


Probably for much the same reason that you won't find many Nazis on this board. The majority of people here are decent, rational people. Decent, rational people don't make good christians. Or Nazis for that matter. Not that there is much difference between the two....

And that blue screen you got last night? That was not Cthulhu, it was Bill Gates. Cthulhu never has computer problems, because he uses a Mac.

For he is but the high priest of the great Gods.

Yog-Sothoth, Yig, Hastur, that which should not be named, Shub Nigarath and their great messenger, Nyarlathotep, shall feast upon the flesh of Cthulhu when they return in all their might. The Mi-Go and Old Ones will gnaw upon it's bones as it writhes in perpetual agony, unable to die.

Great are those who follow the true path of righteousnous and listen to their lords teachings.

Th "Get yer elder signs here, two a dozen" ed

Tyler:
The Great Gretzkyson wants me to be happy. He doesn't particularily care about you, but he loves me!

Great Gretzkyson?

I tell you, I tell Xev:

Hockey is NOT God. Hockey is NOT worth your immortal SOUL!

Yes it is. The majority of people are not Christian.

Yes, but there are only two Christians here - Truthseeker and I. That is odd!

Northwind:
And that blue screen you got last night? That was not Cthulhu, it was Bill Gates. Cthulhu never has computer problems, because he uses a Mac.

HA HA HA HA HA! Xev's god uses a maggot-box!

Jesus would not use Macintrash!

thed
For he is but the high priest of the great Gods.

Yog-Sothoth, Yig, Hastur, that which should not be named, Shub Nigarath and their great messenger, Nyarlathotep, shall feast upon the flesh of Cthulhu when they return in all their might. The Mi-Go and Old Ones will gnaw upon it's bones as it writhes in perpetual agony, unable to die.

If Cthulhu is stupid enough to use a maggot-box, I can see that happening!

"Great Gretzkyson?

I tell you, I tell Xev:

Hockey is NOT God. Hockey is NOT worth your immortal SOUL!"

Actually, after death the Great Gretzkyson takes your soul and lets you play outdoor hockey for the rest of eternity. And in between periods, there are beautiful Canadian, Swede, Rooksee, Czech and Fin women to make love to.



"Yes, but there are only two Christians here - Truthseeker and I. That is odd!"

There are more. And Nelson is hardly a Christian in the sense you would take.



"HA HA HA HA HA! Xev's god uses a maggot-box!

Jesus would not use Macintrash!"

What kind of comp do you use?


The Great Gretzkyson doesn't need a computer.

"Hockey is NOT God."

You're right. Hockey exists. God dosen't.

Hockey is good and benefits mankind. Your God, if He existed, is evil and harms mankind.

"Hockey is NOT worth your immortal SOUL!"

I don't have an immortal soul, but if I did, it would be worth it!

"Yes, but there are only two Christians here - Truthseeker and I. That is odd!"

There used to be others, but Cthulhu ate them. Or maybe my evil athiestic logic scared them away.

"HA HA HA HA HA! Xev's god uses a maggot-box!"

Cthulhu uses a Cray. Only the best for Cthulhu.

"Jesus would not use Macintrash! "

Probably uses an Apple. :rolleyes:

Thed:
PUH-LEEZE! The Elder Things couldn't handle a few freaking shoggoths. Like they can handle Great Cthulhu (who is an Old One).

The Mi-Go? Please tell me you're joking! A few Red-Lobster specials vs. Cthulhu?

YEA thed

the OTHER old ones suck:p

its not THEM who is running for presidant either:p

SO NEH:p

As a neophite I worry about the christians.

Cthulhu Worries too. If they all go away he will be hungry.

We must provide succur for the great lord.

thats why the great lord Cthulhu loves catholics:D

no birth control:p

Infact no control of ANY sort:p

We must prepare a recipe list for the great Lords delectation.

Shiska baby.
Burntatthe steak.
Bread and buddha pudding.
Gods roe

er the great lord is a squid

he likes to HUNT

if you cook it he will be VERY unhappy

*grumbling in the back ground*

*counfeting great lord*
he was just joking
people will still be running screaming for your amusement and for you to use your mind powers on

Man liked to hunt Then one day a piece of buffalo fell onto the fire. Just cos he's a great Lord doesn't mean he can't experience the joy that is garlic bread.

*giant tentical comes out and snages bbcboy*

*bbcboy starts to go insane as the great one uses his mind tricks on him*

You will bow down.

http://homepage.mac.com/northwind/.Pictures/cthulhuanvil.gif

Xev: why is hockey good and how does it benefit mankind?

Are you joking?

Why is hockey good:

It is the greatest sport ever. Why? It combines amazing high speeds with precision and the hardest hand-eye coordination in sport. Not too mention it's the roughest sport there is. Forget rugby and football, being run over by a 220 lbs monster skating 18 mph while you hold your head down and concentrate on a puck while skating 25 mph hurts A HELLLLLLLLLLLL of a lot more than anything in football and rugby combined.



How does it aid man kind?

It gives me something to do 4 hours a day in the winter and a reason to not go to school most of the time. Along with millions of others.

where is foxy great lord?

*looks around*

do you think he might be hiding from your almighty power?:D

or is he sulking because you ate his lord?:p

wow!
i wish i had found this thread sooner!
:carves hideus kthonian runes into the chest of all present non-believers:
haha! serves u right!

random cthulhu fact: cthulhu worship did not originate in mespotamia as said by hpl. it started as a basic religion in early greece. it is thought to have been a thousand years older than other greek religions and at the time it was ktholhu, not cthulhu. thank gods weve learnd to spell since then!
imagine if wed gone on misspelling cthulhus name all this time! hed of gotten so pissed hed of just eaten all of us. sept the jews..
he thinks there tasty. so naturally hed want to save them to enjoy the tender flavor for lator.



btw. i tried to vote for cthulhu... but thery wouldnt let mr into the voting booth :mutters about damn heretics:
oh well. ok cthulhu...
we can always just assinate evry preidant till no1 is willing to run. then u can leap up and take the seat! sound like a plan?
:grabs shot gun and gestures for the others to follow:

hahahahha!
i hope u enjoy my creative talents... yah i know. a 6 yr old could do better.


http://www.geocities.com/gretinking/c-eat-j.GIF


if it doesnt work go to
http://www.geocities.com/gretinking/c-eat-j.html

Originally posted by Northwind
Cthulhu never has computer problems, because he uses a Mac.

Blasphemer.

quote: " Iä-R'yleh! Cthulhu fhtagn! Iä! Iä! Iä!"
FoxMulder: Your spells do not affect me - I am wearing ARMOR OF GOD!

That is not a spell, it is a mantra of reverence and adulation.


"And through this revolting graveyard of the universe the muffled, maddening beating of drums, and thin, monotonous whine of blasphemous flutes from inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond Time; the detestable pounding and piping whereunto dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic, tenebrous ultimate gods the blind, voiceless, mindless gargoyles whose soul is Nyarlathotep. "

Why worship a somnolent behemoth, a stuporous echinoderm, whose corpulent mass, grotesque visage, and alien puissance are paltry marvels beside the greater eminence of the caliginous, amorphous Outer Gods?

They, those boisterous, incessant minstrels of iridescent vapor and lurid spleniferousness, whose odious intonations and monotonous, unremitting cadences resound in the inconceivable abysm,

that unspeakable pantheon, that insidious agregate of ether, half-light, and delerium, and that monstrous GOD, he without an appellation fit for mortal tongue, he whose macrocosmic, terrific countenance transcends the grasp of bestial man,

he and his subordinate revelers, and his avatar, his clandestine emissary, his loathsome soul, Nyarlathotep, the "crawling chaos," all these, and no others, not even the slumbering colossus, are worthy of worship.

Originally posted by bbcboy
As a neophite I worry about the christians.
If they all go away he will be hungry.
We must provide succur for the great lord.

Firstly, "neophyte" has no "i."
De Addenda, Cthuluh requires no earthly succor, for he dead but living, remarkably suspended, moribund and ailing, but still alive.

...Much a do about nuttin! Personally I know a much larger demon who eats squids and fish for breakfast and you all bow to him every day: he is called "Tua Peh Gong" and you signed a contract with him to give him your soul and slave away in his factories when you took a morgage to buy a house...

Occaisionally he will send a tornado to destroy the houses of non-believers or those unfortunates who do not keep to the agreement...

I am christian too fox, I just don't try to convert people. I think God would prefer someone to come of their own accord than to be dragged in, kicking and screaming?

people! this is a cthulhu worship thread.
meaning its for those interested in worshiping cthulhu and those who want to know about it.
it is as insane for you to think you convert any1 here as it is for you to think you can stop us from worshiping the god we wish to.
once again. get out!
we dont want you here and you have no bisnes being here simply to harras us.
if your going to join in a thread then do it because you wish to disccus the topic. not so that you can have a chance at torturing those you belive are spiritualy benieth you.
if you wanna argue go into a debate topic.
the rest of us are here to descuss the elder gods, the aplicatipons in life, how to worship them, there reality, and so oN!
not to waste or time yelling at and sacraficing online evangalists!
get the gods damned, cthulhu fucked, hell out!
you are not welcome here!
now leave before we swipe you ip address crossrefrance it find where you live and fucking sacrafice you for reall!
sure cthulhu enjoys these li9ttle pretend sacraficies made online but by now he wants reall man meat.
______________________________

on a less angry note.
can any1 think of words that rhyme with cthulhu and yoggsothoth?
i recently took a stab (haha... knife pun... get it?) at making a poem about the gods.
how in the world canb you write a poem about a god whos name is damn near unpronouncable by our tounges?
well... hes my try.



In the lake deep in the woods an ancient city long ago stood.
In that city were hellish things not meant for eyes of human beings.
In that lake now is a tomb that houses gods deep in its womb.
Of those gods yogsothoths to be feared more for he’s the one opens the door.
But I will tell that when that’s past cthulhus the one who will come last.
Cthulhus the strongest, the hardest to rise, but when he is he lets hell from his eyes.
Trillions of eyes are what that god has. And million of legs on wich he stands.
And with uncountable feelers and stalks he will find all that on this earth can walk
Then he will kill them. Every last one. There is nothing for us can be done.
We are doomed if yoggsothoth wakes to let cthulhu out.







R'lyeh where cthulhu dreams and yogsothoth writhes.
R'lyeh where nyarlathep stirs and gods closed there eyes.
R'lyeh the ancient city never to be seen by the waking eyes of a human being.


i wote a few more.
but those two are my favrorite.

actully when i made this thread it was to atack a member who got banned ages ago:p

ie foxy

but have fun guys:p

Everybody repeat after me: OhWha tAGoo seIam(laugh if you figure it out).

(Sarcastically:)Chulthu is probably laughing at these fools she has lured away fromthe true faith into eternal burning.

She?

Cthulthu was a she, wasn't she? Whatever. You get the joke, right?

I get the joke, but I always envisaged Cthulu as an it.

i strongly dought that cthulhu would be very maternal or femanine. i also dought he could be called masculine and fatherly by our standards iether.
i think it safest to refer to cthulhu iether by name or 'it'.
and besides. being a singular entity with no other being of its speiecies to mate with does it matter weather cthulhu is male or female?
truely there is no clue as to wich gender cthulhu prefers to be referd to.
yoggsothoth on the other hand is generaly referd to , and thought of as, a male. i mean, if he comes to earth and begets children of the half demon varyity by raping the virgin females sacraficed to him then we can assume he is indeed male. or a freaky lesbian.
iether way...



did any look at this? lol. i think its kinda funny...
http://geocities.com/grey_cyberpunk/c-eat-j.html

Wow, I remember this thread.

Oh, you do now?

Well yes. I failed to remember it until it was brought up again, as my years of substance abuse and attempting to make sense of postmodernist philosophy have taken their toll.

you forgot our great lord xev?

*cries*

how could you

*comforts the great one*

she abandoned us:(

i say we sacrafice xev for being so foolish as to abandon cthulhu.
:pulls out sacraficial blade from under his evil black robe:
DIE HERETIC! DIE!!!!!

i feel better now. and less disguntled