I recently found out some information about an ex-girlfriend of mine, and I'm 100% sure I'm the only person that knows this. I'm ashamed of the way that I found out (checking her email, but not just to check it, I was worried about it in the first place) but I found out that she has seriously been thinking about ending her life and she has been cutting herself on the legs. She is severely depressed and suffers intense social anxiety.

I feel like I should do something, even though I found out the way I did. I can't just sit back.

Thoughts? Strategies? Experiences?

Talk to her. Encourage her to seek professional counselling. Most importantly of all, ignore everything else that follows from Sciforums' self-appointed experts and rent-a-quotes.

One more thing: if she's sending people emails about this it's probably a good sign - a cry for help, rather than serious suicidal intent. But don't take my word for that - she needs professional help.

To me this is a two fold problem, Red Army is right she does need to seek professional counselling if she is indeed that depressed or suicidal. The second problem however is I don't know you're stance and objectivity towards her.

I'm not saying this is the case but perhaps an over jealious ex-boyfriend has been stalking her and reading her e-mails to make her that way, it makes it really difficult to suggest telling her to seek help because if you are part of the problem it's difficult to tell you to be part of the solution.

(As I stated this isn't necessarily how you are, but if you are "Clingy" to the extent of depressing her then you're going to have to find someone else to aid her and take a step back out of the picture.)

We broke up a while back. The only reason I ever checked her emails in the first place was because I was concerned about this very subject, and I wanted to know for sure. I just talked to her on the phone and she's going to meet me this afternoon.

As far as I know, I'm not a part of it, I'm just overall worried. I'll tell her that if she needs my help take it, and if she doesn't I understand, but I'll strongly urge her to talk to someone.

I've dealt with suicide as well, I'm seeing a therapist + on medication for it. My advice is to look into your county's mental health services. Chances are they'll have something available where she can go in an get therapy + psychiatry. She sounds rather young so the reason I say this is because most depression begins early on in life and that is pretty much what's happening here. No matter who or what was going on in my life the depression would always make me suicidal, and of course my methods for coping with people weren't all that good either.

Mostly the medication Zoloft (50 MG) has helped to stabalize my problem. I think it's mostly physical because on it my depression + anxiety is pretty much gone. If I were to stop taking it my brain chemistry would likely alter back to it's original DEPRESSIVE state.

There is one thing I'm learning about that may make my comments useless to you, I may have Asperger's Syndrome, or a slight case at least. If so I've heard anything that can alter seratonin will help this condition, perhaps that's why Zoloft has had such an effect when therapy hasn't changed me all to much. Depending on what her depression is from may determine it's future course in treatment, I do however say this, not getting it treated will not improve the situation.

There's also the fact that we each are responsible for our own mental well-being, if you go after taking care of hers it will only end up hurting you as the things you try have no true effects, or she'll come to depend on you for treating the depression. Not good scenerios for either of you :-Z~

Well I'm already meeting up with her later and am no doubt going to be putting myself in a terrible situation.

I worry about her because she honestly has nobody to talk to and is afraid that she'll be ridiculed if she does talk to somebody. I only want to urge her to seek professional help... theres not much I can do.

Sleep with her, get her pregnant, take her mind off it LOL

How is it that you have the ability to check her e-mail? Did she forget to change a password from when she lived with you or something like that? Maybe this is a stupid question but I've got to ask. It seems really strange that you have access to something so personal. Make sure she's not setting you up with phony correspondence so she can catch you spying on her. The games you kids play these days are just outrageous.

If she's been cutting herself there will be scars for evidence. If somebody accused me of cutting myself I'd be pissed off but I wouldn't hesitate to prove them wrong by showing them there are no scars.

By all means talk to her even though it means admitting that you've been snooping. Be prepared for her to be angry about that. Also be prepared for not being very successful. She probably needs professional help and even medication so there's a sad limit to what the most caring friend can accomplish, much less an ex-boyfriend.

You may have to break her confidence and tell someone in her family. Just make sure she's not making all this up for some weird psycho game, see the scars for yourself before you take the next step. The laws have gotten so crazy, it's too easy for someone to wind up in trouble just for trying to be a good citizen.

I recently found out some information about an ex-girlfriend of mine, and I'm 100% sure I'm the only person that knows this. I'm ashamed of the way that I found out (checking her email, but not just to check it, I was worried about it in the first place) but I found out that she has seriously been thinking about ending her life and she has been cutting herself on the legs. She is severely depressed and suffers intense social anxiety.

I feel like I should do something, even though I found out the way I did. I can't just sit back.

Thoughts? Strategies? Experiences?

If she doesn't have a plan about how and when to do it then you're in a much better zone. The moment she begins planning, thats when you really have to worry. Beyond this, get her a therappist. If she wants to wack herself at any given moment then check her into the emergency room as I am almost 100% certain they have emergency psychiatrists for that kind of thing.

How is it that you have the ability to check her e-mail? Did she forget to change a password from when she lived with you or something like that? Maybe this is a stupid question but I've got to ask. It seems really strange that you have access to something so personal. Make sure she's not setting you up with phony correspondence so she can catch you spying on her. The games you kids play these days are just outrageous.

If she's been cutting herself there will be scars for evidence. If somebody accused me of cutting myself I'd be pissed off but I wouldn't hesitate to prove them wrong by showing them there are no scars.

By all means talk to her even though it means admitting that you've been snooping. Be prepared for her to be angry about that. Also be prepared for not being very successful. She probably needs professional help and even medication so there's a sad limit to what the most caring friend can accomplish, much less an ex-boyfriend.

You may have to break her confidence and tell someone in her family. Just make sure she's not making all this up for some weird psycho game, see the scars for yourself before you take the next step. The laws have gotten so crazy, it's too easy for someone to wind up in trouble just for trying to be a good citizen.

Well, it couldn't have been any worse. I tried, she yelled and got very mad and stormed off. I expect the shit to hit the fan any day now. I did what I thought was right, apparently she didn't think the same way. She thought it was some big selfish act that I was performing so I would feel better about myself... I knew what was coming.

And I could check her email because I remembered her password from a while back.

Well, you know this lady and we don't. You're in a better position to judge her behavior and attitude. That's the sort of response you'd expect from someone who simply doesn't want to let you see the scars on her legs, but it's hardly enough to be certain. If she knows you've seen the e-mails then she should know enough to take your interest seriously. Perhaps she'll let you look if you threaten to tell her [insert appropriate family member here].

I recently found out some information about an ex-girlfriend of mine, and I'm 100% sure I'm the only person that knows this. I'm ashamed of the way that I found out (checking her email, but not just to check it, I was worried about it in the first place) but I found out that she has seriously been thinking about ending her life and she has been cutting herself on the legs. She is severely depressed and suffers intense social anxiety.

I feel like I should do something, even though I found out the way I did. I can't just sit back.

Thoughts? Strategies? Experiences?If you found out about it by reading her email, it means she's been talking about it. If she's been talking about it it means she's just drumming up attention.

People who really want to kill themselves don't talk about it. They just do it. The reason females have a much lower suicide success rate isn't because we're not as good at it, it's because we're just gunning for attention.

If your really, really feel she is serious about it, just confront her. Own up to what you did, and tell her. I mean, a girl's life is potentially at stake and you would prefer to cover your own ass than act to save her?

And that way you'll be set. If she makes bombastic claims about wanting to end it all, it means she won't.

He already tried that. If she was looking for attention, it was not from him.

It's a good point that people who are really serious about doing it don't usually talk about it first. That's why I suggest looking for actual scars from actual cutting.

It's a good point that people who are really serious about doing it don't usually talk about it first.

That's not always true. Some people cast around to see if anybody gives a damn, then get serious about it.

Contact her friends and family and tell them your fears and how she reacted when you spoke to her about it. Just let them know that something might be wrong and if they could try and speak with her to find out what it was and get her the help she may need.

She needs help and quite a bit of it if she's feeling this way.

If you found out about it by reading her email, it means she's been talking about it. If she's been talking about it it means she's just drumming up attention.

People who really want to kill themselves don't talk about it. They just do it. The reason females have a much lower suicide success rate isn't because we're not as good at it, it's because we're just gunning for attention.

If your really, really feel she is serious about it, just confront her. Own up to what you did, and tell her. I mean, a girl's life is potentially at stake and you would prefer to cover your own ass than act to save her?

And that way you'll be set. If she makes bombastic claims about wanting to end it all, it means she won't.

Oh, I confronted her... and it got pretty bad. A lot of yelling and cussing. Didn't go too well. About how I thought it would.