Can a Christian have sex before marriage?
According to the Scripture, No!
But, in real life, how many christians never have sex before marriage? :D

I know that there are many church-goers christians, have fun in sex before marriage, hypocrites!

dont you get it? in the words of an old folk song "it's all bullshit". in the future people will look back and say "what the fuck were they thinking? couldn't they see how stupid their religions were?"

Scriptures are meant to be guidelines. They were especially efficient for the times:

It benefits a woman not to have sex before marriage because if she gets pregnant she has no responsible male.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). What is your point? Do you expect Christians to be perfect?

I don't expect Christians to be perfect, but, they at least must fulfill the fundamental moral requirement.

You consider premarital sex a "fundamental" moral requirement?

What importance is there in not having pre-marital sex? What's the difference if you sleep with someone that you intend to marry and who you love and have been with for a long time?

At least...what importance is there in not having premarital sex...so much so that it is a moral requirement?

You consider premarital sex a "fundamental" moral requirement?


i don't mean that, but the bible means that.

the pastor in church teached that. :D

But do you believe it? What good does it serve?

I'm sure that your pastor is the be-all, end-all of biblical interpretations, too.

probaly abstinence from sex can prevent venereal disease.
this is the pupose!

Hmm...I'm sure there are many, many people who've had sex before marriage and have no diseases. *Raises hand*.

That's not a very good purpose. There is no moral base to it!

Define Sex I guess. :D I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Christians feel that sex is a taboo subject which should be highly regulated. The problem is they are as sexual as everyone else. As long as they go through the motions of being pious, they can feel forgiven for being inherently "bad". This idea is exemplified in the "fall" myth, in which the desire for sex was the single most destructive action in all of humanity and which caused our ejection from eden. So, they can be as sexual as anyone else, as long as they hate themselves for it. I think it was a method the church used to regulate social relations, so that only under their authority via a religious marriage can sex be allowed (presumably only between members of the same religion, opposite sex, and same race).

Christians aren't hypocrites for having sex, just human.

Spidergoat,

Where are you getting this stuff from????? Let me guess...the modern day pharisees???? Sex may be a taboo subject within organized religion, but it's not with God. We've talked about it at length and He's taught me a lot about it...that is, the law regarding it and the purpose of it, from a relationship standpoint, not technique necessarily.

God created us and sex was His idea in the first place. God has no problem with sex....people do. God wants us to be happy...He loves us. And sex is probably the greatest gift He's given us aside from His Son. It's just a shame when people take this glorious gift and reduce it down to the equivalent of taking a shit.

And for crying out loud people, you don't have to be a flippin' rocket scientist to see the undesirable consequences of screwing around in or outside marriage. Because then you have the problems caused by people getting married for all the wrong reasons in the first place. I mean, sins are not isolated like that....they're systemic and compounding. Sin isn't just an act, it's a condition, and it's one that we're stuck with in this life. It's like having a birth defect....being handicapped...it's not going to go away by following a bunch of rules. You can teach a handicapped person how to have sex, but they will still be handicapped.

The whole premise of the faith is that God has an ideal...being a sinless eternal existence for us....AND THIS LIFE IS NOT IT. So who gives a shit if so and so has sex before they're married? We're so systemically far from perfect right now, that to pick out one little "rule" to focus on is stupid. God doesn't want you to do anything that you don't want to do or believe anything that you don't understand. With God, it's not about following rules, it's about coming to know Him through a personal relationship with Him. Only then can you truly learn from Him and come to understand His law in relation to your life and experience.

If God has no problem with sex, Lori, why is it that the Wisdom gained from the Tree of Knowledge made Adam and Eve ashamed of their nakedness? Underlying message? According to the Bible, wisdom says our nakedness is cause for shame.

You know, it's sex and orgasms. How could Christians, or anybody else, call it wisdom to start that cycle of shame?

Why be ashamed? Why not look at the other and say, "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

How could anyone get it so wrong as the Christians? And with such horrifying consequences?

And I'm aware there's some cave-dwelling, separatist Jewish monk responsible for writing down Genesis, but hey, there's only 13 million or so Jews left in the world, so perhaps they better throw out the shame of Genesis and start boffing to reinforce their numbers.

Imagine the day when the stereotypical Jew is expected to be self-assured, sexy as hell, and able to go all night.

Imagine the day when stereotypes of Christians no longer center on the blithering idiocy of public theology. The thing is that Christians are fully capable of making each other feel as if they're touched by the Lord. Fully capable of making each other scream hosannas to God.

But there's that nakedness. It's shameful, you know. Because, as we see in the Bible, Adam and Eve covered themselves up after they got wisdom because the wise know that nakedness is cause for shame.

Christians and sexuality is a theological and doctrinal tragedy of human proportions. I once read a whacked theory that blamed the victims of the Inquisitions, claiming their confessions were part of a sick, sexually-driven (and sublimated) game. That's right, the Christians who carried out the Inquisitions are to be excused because they were confused by the sexual fantasies of the people they killed and tortured. As crazy as it sounds, however, there's a strong possibility that the theory has some credibility. In the modern period, we at least have psychology, psychiatry, and other sciences to help us understand sexuality. But, you know, faithful Christians confessing to witchcraft under the effect of torture, hoping to be burned at the stake? Yes, I suppose that bizarre theory gains some credibility when we pause and wonder about Christians and the shame of nakedness.

Robyn Hitchcock sang, "God finds you naked and He leaves you dying. What happens in between is up to you." I love that line, because how is the state in which you are delivered to the world with God's blessing unacceptable?

Hi Tiassa,

First of all, you don't have to be naked to have sex. It could have more to do with vanity than anything.

Secondly, it wasn't wisdom or knowledge that caused their shame, it was caused by a voluntary genetic alteration of their flesh, which for them and all of us turned out to be quite a disappointment.

And finally, not everyone who attests to being a Christian is born again. You get knowledge and understanding by being born again....through this relationship with God. That's what the Bible says, and that's what I've experienced in my life. I'm born again, don't mind being naked at all, and think that sex is a great gift from God. I think that you're confusing Christians with people who are just uptight and perverted. You don't have to be a Christian to be that way, just ignorant.

Lori, you may the exception, but Christianity is responsible for perverting sex, and, I would go as far as to say, perverting human nature. Humans are naturally perfect, it is our inhereted cultural institutions that are flawed.
God has no problem with sex....people do.
Because of their incorrect assumptions about what god wants us to do.
It's just a shame when people take this glorious gift and reduce it down to the equivalent of taking a shit.
It's a shame when you consider the glory of taking a shit to be such a worthless activity. Sex is glorious, taking a shit is also glorious. Sex is something that should be done at least as often as taking a shit, probably more often. Rarity doesn't make it any more holy. When you falsely consider some things to be holy, that makes other things not. Everything is holy, which is another way of saying nothing is holy.
And for crying out loud people, you don't have to be a flippin' rocket scientist to see the undesirable consequences of screwing around in or outside marriage.
It used to be that screwing around only led to more children that the tribe would take care of collectively. The only bad consequences of screwing around stem from the conditions that religion has created, for example the horrible thing called "family values". The condition that created this kind of patriarchal religion is the rise of agriculture. Agriculture led to accumulation of wealth, thus inheritence, thus concern for male lines of descent, thus the taboo against screwing around. The religion was created around these pre-existing conditions. Taboos against sex before marriage are intended to control the hierarchical social structure. Having family values also means that anyone not in your family is considered less worthy of protection, except in a reluctant charity kind of way. The consequence of this is a society where it's everyone for themselves, and if you have a baby out of "wed-lock", you are screwed, cause there is no longer any tribe to help take care of it.

Because then you have the problems caused by people getting married for all the wrong reasons in the first place.
Wrong reasons, such as... wanting to get married, which is a pressure that the church creates. You can't have sex before marriage, so the sexual tension builds up to the point that dammit I NEED TO GET FUCKING MARRIED TO SOMEONE -ANYONE- OR I'M GONNA BURST!

Sin isn't just an act, it's a condition, and it's one that we're stuck with in this life.
That's the kind of mythology on which the church depends. As long as you feel you are less than perfect, you will accept the authority of an institution that claims to approach perfection. It a con. You are a devine being, that's the real gospel as taught by Jesus.

Secondly, it wasn't wisdom or knowledge that caused their shame, it was caused by a voluntary genetic alteration of their flesh, which for them and all of us turned out to be quite a disappointment.
You can't change your genes voluntarily. The fall myth is really about people getting smart, perhaps the rise of language, or the discovery of psychedelic plants. It's about how, in coming up with "solutions", (ideas, inventions, religions, etc...) we actually create more problems for ourselves.

Scriptures are meant to be guidelines. They were especially efficient for the times:
Scripture = Truth.

And for the record anybody is allowed to screw before marriage.

After marriage is a different story. Banging (or as little as kissing) somebody other than your spouse is illegal, automatically ends the marriage, and is punishable. Both individuals that participated in the adultery belong behind bars.

If you are not going to follow the proper marriage procedures, the whole point of matrimony being recognized under law is just as silly as birthday parties being recognized under law.

The law is so crooked, that they even recognize Christmas day as an official national holiday (http://www.opm.gov/fedhol/2005.asp). If you are going to recognize a Christian holiday under law along with all the grubby atheist holidays, you might as well recognize Holy Week/easter.

The following should be recognized as well: Valentines Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, and April Fools Day.

Sure cool skill, I can agree that you're a bad christian if you engage in pre-marital sex. You're simply not following the rules. Then again, they all just want to be saved with minimal effort on their part.

Humans are naturally perfect, it is our inhereted cultural institutions that are flawed.
Culture is a purely human aspect. If humans are perfect, how are the inherent human aspects, such as developing culture, flawed? Or is culture merely a reaction to an incomplete knowledge of one's environment, and so inherently flawed as it's based on something that's only partly true?
In which case, if humans are fallible, how are they perfect?

The institution of marriage, as old as one wishes to go back, pretty much existed for economic and political purposes. It's rather a recent phenomena that marriages are based around love.
In the 12th and 13th centuries, it was common for the upper European classes to have extramarital, because only the poor could afford to marry out of love. Adultery, at least among the upperclasses, was pretty common place and not nearly as universally derided as it is now.
Of course, the lower classes were something else entirely.

It is well known that Christians think pre marital sex is wrong, but does it actually say that in the bible. The bible certainly says divorce, adultary and promiscuity are wrong but I cannot personally find the place where it says pre marital sex is forbidden (perhaps someone would like to quote chapter and verse on that).

I can find one passage where A man and woman have sex and then he is obliged to marry her, but after marrying there seems to be no problem!

Another thing - where does it define in the bible what constitutes getting married. I cannot find a certain prescribed ceremany laid out? Does just publicly accepting a man as a husband constitue marraige / does living together assume marraige has taken place. The bible is certainly unclear on this.

When you look at genesis marraiges there seems to be no specific ceremony or preist involved?

If God has no problem with sex, Lori, why is it that the Wisdom gained from the Tree of Knowledge made Adam and Eve ashamed of their nakedness? Underlying message? According to the Bible, wisdom says our nakedness is cause for shame.

You know, it's sex and orgasms. How could Christians, or anybody else, call it wisdom to start that cycle of shame?

Why be ashamed? Why not look at the other and say, "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

How could anyone get it so wrong as the Christians? And with such horrifying consequences?

And I'm aware there's some cave-dwelling, separatist Jewish monk responsible for writing down Genesis, but hey, there's only 13 million or so Jews left in the world, so perhaps they better throw out the shame of Genesis and start boffing to reinforce their numbers.

Imagine the day when the stereotypical Jew is expected to be self-assured, sexy as hell, and able to go all night.

Imagine the day when stereotypes of Christians no longer center on the blithering idiocy of public theology. The thing is that Christians are fully capable of making each other feel as if they're touched by the Lord. Fully capable of making each other scream hosannas to God.

But there's that nakedness. It's shameful, you know. Because, as we see in the Bible, Adam and Eve covered themselves up after they got wisdom because the wise know that nakedness is cause for shame.

Christians and sexuality is a theological and doctrinal tragedy of human proportions. I once read a whacked theory that blamed the victims of the Inquisitions, claiming their confessions were part of a sick, sexually-driven (and sublimated) game. That's right, the Christians who carried out the Inquisitions are to be excused because they were confused by the sexual fantasies of the people they killed and tortured. As crazy as it sounds, however, there's a strong possibility that the theory has some credibility. In the modern period, we at least have psychology, psychiatry, and other sciences to help us understand sexuality. But, you know, faithful Christians confessing to witchcraft under the effect of torture, hoping to be burned at the stake? Yes, I suppose that bizarre theory gains some credibility when we pause and wonder about Christians and the shame of nakedness.

Robyn Hitchcock sang, "God finds you naked and He leaves you dying. What happens in between is up to you." I love that line, because how is the state in which you are delivered to the world with God's blessing unacceptable?

The problem isnt with the bible its with peoples iterpretation of it. Look again at genesis and the fall and read it for yourselves if you haven't.

1. original sin was not sex.
2. original sin was by satan the fallen angel - it was a sin of pride.
3. Satan had to fall first to then tempt eve to fall
4. adam and eves sin was also either one of pride (defying god) or greed (seeking extra knowledge / power) depending on how you look at it.
4. nakedness and sex are not synonymous
5. The nakedness of adam and eve is a metephor not literal.
6. when adam and eve do actually have sex later on in genesis and create a son it is not spoken of as a bad thing at all.

The 'sex is sin' intereptaion is a a deliberate faslehood made by the early priesthood to gain control over populations by convincing them they are all sinners, as obviously noone can help haveing sex, and then only the priest hood can save them. The bible does not say categorically sex is sin and we are all sinners - this is a false interpretation.

Then there is the passage that reads; :In that day seven women will take hold of one man saying, Let us call ourselves by your name, we will provide our own food and clothes."

hmmm 7 to 1, :eek:

alot of :m: would probably help,,, :D

Sure cool skill, I can agree that you're a bad christian if you engage in pre-marital sex. You're simply not following the rules. Then again, they all just want to be saved with minimal effort on their part.
Which effort?
There is simply no rule in the bible against consenting individuals having premerital sex.

The 'sex is sin' intereptaion is a a deliberate faslehood made by the early priesthood to gain control over populations by convincing them they are all sinners

OK, first give one sermon or official church document that says "sex is sin". Maybe you're confusing sex before marriage or maybe adultry, but no one in his or her right mind would call sex within marriage a sin.


In the 12th and 13th centuries, it was common for the upper European classes to have extramarital

Do you have any proof for these statements?


because only the poor could afford to marry out of love. Adultery, at least among the upperclasses, was pretty common place and not nearly as universally derided as it is now.

You're saying only the poor could marry out of love, but surely someone with more money, say someone in the upper class, could marry out of love.

Scripture = Truth.

Funniest shit I've heard all week.

The law is so crooked, that they even recognize Christmas day as an official national holiday. If you are going to recognize a Christian holiday under law along with all the grubby atheist holidays, you might as well recognize Holy Week/easter.

christmas isn't a christian holiday. It's Sol Invictus, (the winter harvest), in celebration of a sun god born on 25th december. Same goes for easter, (ostara).. All pagan festivals man, not christian.

christmas isn't a christian holiday. It's Sol Invictus, (the winter harvest), in celebration of a sun god born on 25th december. Same goes for easter, (ostara).. All pagan festivals man, not christian.

how do the origins of anything determine their nature in the modern world?

Fine...

christmas isn't a christian holiday. It's a childrens holiday where they say thanks to getting presents from a fat guy with a snowy white beard who flies around with several coloured nosed reindeers.

Having said that... in the "modern world", christmas is all about Elves, magical flying dust, secret toy laboratories hidden in the north pole and reindeers that have the ability to talk to a chuckling obese man who can magically squeeze down chimney's even though most houses don't have chimneys.

Does that sound very "christian" to you? Ooh yes, christian holiday.. lol give it up.

But anyway, the origin of a festival determines a lot. Have you never even asked or wondered why at christmas you have a tree standing in your living room? Let me guess, you thought it was jesus' favourite tree or something? *ehehehe* Etc etc etc.

Now, christians might pretend it's their festival, but it isn't - just like I can pretend christmas is actually the day of celebration for the day my pet dog first got laid, but that doesn't change what the festivals real meaning is.

Not to mention no christian scholar would even state that jesus was born in December.

But hey, I wouldn't want to deprive you of your cd's and nicely patterned socks. Enjoy it.

christmas isn't a christian holiday. It's a childrens holiday where they say thanks to getting presents from a fat guy with a snowy white beard who flies around with several coloured nosed reindeers.
Yes, I'm sure that the commercial media determines what kind of holiday it is.

Let me guess, you thought it was jesus' favourite tree or something? *ehehehe*
Do you find some gratification in these little jibes?

...but that doesn't change what the festivals real meaning is.
Who determines the meaning of the festival? Can't you take advantage of publicly-recognized meaning for the festival to simply celebrate whatever the hell you want? Yes.

No real christian would consider December 25th as a christian holiday, because it isn't. All that jesus in his crib garbage when no christian scholar would state he was born in December anyway.
The date is arbitrary: this does not mean that the birth of Jesus Christ, of course not exactly on the 25th, is not cause for celebration amongst Christians.

OK, first give one sermon or official church document that says "sex is sin". Maybe you're confusing sex before marriage or maybe adultry, but no one in his or her right mind would call sex within marriage a sin.



It is well documented that for a long time the catholic church has held the position that sex for pleasure and not pro-creation is wrong (a sin). We are all born in sin (through the sexual act), which is why the virgin birth of Mary is so important to them, because this allows Jesus to be born without sin.

Yes, I'm sure that the commercial media determines what kind of holiday it is.

Sure.. And of course realising that there are more than just christians on the planet, christmas is a time for everyone - whether religious or not. As a result, it's not a christian holiday, and nor was it ever one.

Do you find some gratification in these little jibes?


Yes. But in either case, there is actually a question in there that has relevance to what you asked.

Who determines the meaning of the festival? Can't you take advantage of publicly-recognized meaning for the festival to simply celebrate whatever the hell you want? Yes.

So come mothers day, you can celebrate the day you had your wisdom teeth removed, or is it a time to actually celebrate how wonderful your mother is? I guess you can do both, but that doesn't change what mothers day is. Christians can celebrate anything they want come December, but that does not make it a christian holiday. It is still Sol Invictus, no matter what persons name they put in the place of it.

The date is arbitrary: this does not mean that the birth of Jesus Christ, of course not exactly on the 25th, is not cause for celebration amongst Christians.

Of course they wouldn't face that problem if anyone actually knew when the guy was born - if he even existed. Nobody knows.. Hell, they didn't even know back then, which is why they hijacked someone elses festival and called it their own.

And of course realising that there are more than just christians on the planet, christmas is a time for everyone - whether religious or not. As a result, it's not a christian holiday, and nor was it ever one.


What a load of poppycock.

It certainly is a Christian Holiday for ME and for more than a billion other people on the planet. Where do you get off defining what meaning holidays have for other people? The reality, or meaning, of any holiday is what is derived or extracted by the celebrants. And it may not be the same for all of them and is most likely NOT the same for all of them.

Or did you mean to say that it's not a Christian holiday for some of the people on the planet?

I guess you can do both, but that doesn't change what mothers day is. Christians can celebrate anything they want come December, but that does not make it a christian holiday. It is still Sol Invictus, no matter what persons name they put in the place of it.
Again, who has the authority to determine a holiday? Only the person celebrating it.

Its origins have no effect whatsoever on its current nature. It is a Christian holiday for some and it might be Sol Invictus for others. In any case, there is nothing either of us can say or information we can use to prove it definitively to be a holiday solely for the celebration of things Christian or non-Christian. That's just dumb.

Hell, they didn't even know back then, which is why they hijacked someone elses festival and called it their own.
Actually, it's because it makes the conversion process easier.

It is a Christian holiday for the people who celebrate it as one.

i don't understand... why is the basic act thats driving life considered as a sin???

The whole point is that no religious text has ever said it was. It is people mi-interpreting these texts that have changed the meaning.

It is well known that Christians think pre marital sex is wrong, but does it actually say that in the bible. The bible certainly says divorce, adultary and promiscuity are wrong but I cannot personally find the place where it says pre marital sex is forbidden (perhaps someone would like to quote chapter and verse on that).

I can find one passage where A man and woman have sex and then he is obliged to marry her, but after marrying there seems to be no problem!

Another thing - where does it define in the bible what constitutes getting married. I cannot find a certain prescribed ceremany laid out? Does just publicly accepting a man as a husband constitue marraige / does living together assume marraige has taken place. The bible is certainly unclear on this.

When you look at genesis marraiges there seems to be no specific ceremony or preist involved?


Nice post and good point LT. Maybe if more people would actually read the Bible themselves, and seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit in trying to understand it, instead of just plain making shit up, or pointing their fingers at and quoting stupid church people, we'd actually be able to have an intelligent discussion every once in a while. Fact is that will never happen, because these people will cite any noncredible source available, as long as it supports their choice to reject Christ.

I prefer the way of God,,,,, before modern society screwed it all up.
Concubines AND wives ! ! !

I am Christian, I didn't have sex before marriage. Have I sinned in other things? Of course. Everyone has. If you ever pick up a bible, as quoted earlier, read the book of Romans. Your post is uninformed, but asking is a possible step to the answer. Annother possibility is reading..