Can you get out of any situation?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by maxpowers200169, Nov 19, 2003.

  1. maxpowers200169 Registered Member

    Messages:
    25
    Me and a friend went to see matrix revolutions but because I forgot my liscense the teller would not sell me the tickets. we both got tickets to scary movie 3 and planned to sneak into matrix. Big Mistake. upon entering we noticed all the theatres were being guarded with two stuards and one cop. my friend lost hope and said "Damn now we're screwed" and I calmly reminded him Who he was with. I belive I can get through almost any situation and I will tell you we did get to see the movie like we wanted. I will tell you how but first I want to see what you would have done in this situation.:bugeye:
     
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  3. Yes Registered Senior Member

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    279
    Faked Downs syndrome and claimed you got the wrong tickets?
     
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  5. Killashandra Registered Senior Member

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    30
    I would have just walked in the movie like thats the one i was supposed to see..
     
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  7. BigBlueHead Great Tealnoggin! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    Lit a trash can on fire and snuck in during the confusion?

    Gotten a cuter friend to put on really big puppy eyes and go to the cop and say "I just had my tickets just now and I looked in my pocket and they were just GONE! Can I go in pleezpleezpleeeeeze?"

    Jumped up in the air and kicked the cop across the room in slow motion?

    Punched some stranger in the kidney and then said, "This man has a kidney injury. Get him to the hospital immediately!", and then gone into the theatre when the guards left?

    Gone up to the door, looked past the guards and said "HEY FREAK! GOT MY TICKETS?" and then, when someone turned around to give you a blank look, said "Oh for the love of God..." and walked in?
     
  8. Killashandra Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    30
    NICE
     
  9. zanket Human Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,777
    Chances are the "guards" will look at the ticket before it's ripped in half, giving you the stub. Odds are high that they won't look at the stub, or the stub may not even have the movie name on it.

    So I'd go into Scary Movie with my full ticket and then go to the bathroom and then enter Matrix with my stub.

    I wouldn't do this if the theater was full and so someone else didn't get to see the movie they paid for.
     
  10. lixluke Refined Reinvention Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,072
    Good work, ninja! I've pulled off so many impossible missions like that.

    Let's see. I might have waited fot a big crowd to pour in. Then, give the stuards the tickets I had, and find some way to talk to them or distract them so that they don't look too close to the ticket. Something to that effect. It's all I can think of right now.
     
  11. BigBlueHead Great Tealnoggin! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    (tricky person sidles up to police officer)

    Tricky person - Hey Sweet Cheeks... you busy after the show?
    Police Officer - Please move along.
    Tricky person - Action movies always get me kinda excited...
    Police Officer - Please move along.
    Tricky person - I hear you get to see Keanu's ass again...
    Police Officer - Really?
    Tricky person - Yeah... here's my stub.
    Police Officer - This says School of Rock.
    Tricky person - Dammit.
    Police Officer - You busy after the show?
     
  12. ElectricFetus Sanity going, going, gone Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    18,523
    Kill the cop and the guard, horribly disembowel their bodies beyond recognition, then stuff them both down one of the men’s restroom toilets while pretending you’re constipated, after which you had enough time to watch that crapy movie before the theater's sewage system backed up???

    What? Its what I would have done, since I am never found without my wallet it has not happened yet.
     
  13. lixluke Refined Reinvention Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,072
    If you were buying tickets anyway, I'm surprised you just didn't get the tickets to the movie you actually wanted to watch.
     
  14. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,698
    Shank the fucker and walked in proclaiming my spot and honor. Either that or lost hope...chances are the latter...yup...definetly the latter.
     
  15. joemamaa Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    97
    just have some one trade those 2 tickets for matrix tix dummy
     
  16. cthulhus slave evil servant Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    754
    gone into the bathroom, gotten into the cieling by iether entering a vent or lifting the cieling tiles, crawled to the theatre with matrix in it, and ... uhhh.... scratch that idea.
    just given the gaurd my ticket and hope he doesnt notice.
     
  17. BigBlueHead Great Tealnoggin! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    "Is this your husband, Mrs. Smith?"

    "Oh no, officer... my husband has bowels. I don't recognise this man."
     
  18. ElectricFetus Sanity going, going, gone Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    18,523
    Main Entry: dis·em·bow·el
    Pronunciation: "di-s&m-'bau(-&)l
    Function: transitive verb
    Date: 1618
    1 : to remove the substance of
    2 : to take out the bowels of : synonym to EVISCERATE

    Main Entry: evis·cer·ate
    Pronunciation: i-'vi-s&-"rAt
    Function: verb
    Inflected Form(s): -at·ed; -at·ing
    Etymology: Latin evisceratus, past participle of eviscerare, from e- + viscera viscera
    Date: 1621
    transitive senses
    1 a : to take out the entrails of : synonym to DISEMBOWEL b : to deprive of vital content or force
    2 : to remove an organ from (a patient) or the contents of (an organ)
    intransitive senses : to protrude through a surgical incision or suffer protrusion of a part through an incision

    - evis·cer·a·tion /-"vi-s&-'rA-sh&n/ noun
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2003
  19. BigBlueHead Great Tealnoggin! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    Yes, but to disembowel someone beyond recognition would be to remove the organ or contents of the organs that make them recognizable, hence, all of their facial features, some of their bodily organs, and possibly their skin if they have any distinguishing markings.

    Hence disemboweling TWO or THREE people beyond recognition, during the movie trailers, using only such tools as are available at the theatre (like drinking straws, napkin holders, and shaky plastic things full of flavour powder) would be a real chore.

    Maybe you meant discombobulate.
     
  20. SpyMoose Secret double agent deer Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,641
    I cant wait for the exciting conclusion to this tale wherein our hero payed for a movie he was legaly alowed to see and then went to see it.

    If you are using scenarios like this to judge that you can get through ANY situation, you may be a little confused...

    But do go on, I beleive when you left off the theatre employees had ticket stub sniffing attack dogs hot on your heels?

    Personaly I would just walk right in, If I actualy saw those guards checking ticket stubs (Which theatre employees being slackers, they probably weren't) I would just walk in with a crush of people and flash my stub, they arnt going to stop to read every damn little 1/2 inch square.
     
  21. Mucker Great View! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    758
    Hold everyone (including staff) at gun-point and demand to see the film.
     
  22. maxpowers200169 Registered Member

    Messages:
    25
    well at the theatre I went to the people were checking stubs and the stubs have the name of the movie on them. I got my buddy to walk behind the guard as if he was waiting to see someone. meanwhile I did the same on the side with tellers. as soon as a large group of people went to walk in I made my move and got in. all the guards were distracted by the large amount of tickets being checked. I waited a few minutes and came out of the theatre and yelled to my friend. the guards looked to see what was going on behind them. I walked up and said to the police officer who was there and said "I brought both the stubs in when we came in with that group because I couldnt find my friend and hoped he was in there but while in the theatre I dropped the stubs because I didnt think we'd need the tickets but to my dismay the person I saw inside who looked like my friend wasnt after I figured this out I came out here to see if I could find him." well this story effectivly confused him and he allowed my friend to come on in.

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    If this hadn't worked I would have just caused a distraction and we would have snuck in.
     
  23. BigBlueHead Great Tealnoggin! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    Ah yes, the old "sneak in and then claim you must have gotten in legitimately because otherwise you wouldn't be in" gag.

    Almost as good as the "wear a wig, hoof the guy in the balls and then melt into the crowd and hand the wig to someone else" gag.
     

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