I've found that the most enjoyable and most sincere conversations I have are when me and the people or person I'm talking to are not looking at each other but just in the general area lazily focusing on other things while lying down like the stars or random objects in a room. Usually I fall into these grooves at night. The darkness seems to subdue inhibitions and not seeing the person seems to remove some distractions with spoken communication and all the focus can be on the person's voice and the feeling that's in it. Phone calls with girls I've been intimate with are like this as well - which also fall in this category. I'm not saying body language isn't important - it is - it's just different and has its own occasions. Has anyone else noticed this?
Yes, this is why Freud would sit *behind* his patients on the couch...so they could 'free associate' without being inhibited by eye contact. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_association_(psychology)
If it's a man, I prefer non eye contact. When it comes to women, the more eye contact I make, the more transfixed she becomes into the conversation. Women are turned on by eye contact, as long as it's from someone they deem attractive.
Funny that when we talk to our pets we look them in the eyes but when it comes to talking with other humans we dart around for whatever reason. :shrug:
That's true! I think for myself it's due to inhibitions and not trusting people. Also, a lot of people are inhibited themselves and wouldn't open up to such a direct kind of communication - whereas animals you just imagine that they're listening. That makes sense.
Three rules to good communication and relations: 1) Look people in the eyes! 2) Smile! 3) Touch people (in an appropriate way)
Poker players wear sunglasses to hide personal information like confidence or anxiety. You are not hiding emotions as explicitly as the poker player is, but you are doing just as good a job as they are. I imagine with conversing on the internet at one end of the spectrum, and eye to eye at the other - sitting on the sofa is somewhere in the middle. You are less inhibited in speech because you are giving away less personal information. So if diarrhea is an embarrassing topic, when you are hiding your eyes / hiding your embarrassment, you should be less inhibited to talk about it.
Our pets can't understand our language beyond a handful of words we've taught them. But they're much better at reading tone of voice, facial expression and body language. If you talk to your dog while standing behind him, he won't understand you very well. Most of us tell our pets things that we wouldn't say to any human. People who don't even want their pets to hear that stuff must be really ashamed of themselves!
